


Quick Shots

by Desert Sunrise (sniderde92)



Series: Chronicles of Samantha Shepard [7]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 109,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1502369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniderde92/pseuds/Desert%20Sunrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Samantha Shepard prequel stories and other miscellaneous pieces with additional details not included in the main storylines of the first two books of the Chronicles of Samantha Shepard, First Life and Only Hope Remains. You never know what you might see here... All comments and critiques more than welcome.</p><p>The Sequel to this work is QuickShots Two, and will contain stories of the same sort, but for Working With the Enemy and beyond (book 3+ of the Chronicles).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

Hannah McCormick was driven; she grew up a ward of the state after her parents were killed in an accident when she was seven and had entered her compulsory military service at the age of eighteen as a seaman recruit in the Royal Navy in 2148. Her first year of service was a time of radical change, following the discovery of the Charon relay and the formation of the Systems Alliance, with governments and militaries of the eighteen largest nations on Earth merging together to develop new policies and larger space fleets for the new age of exploration. It was an exciting time, and with everything that was happening, Hannah quickly decided to make it a career. She worked hard over the next four years, completing her college degree while on active service, and got accepted into the Alliance Officer Commissioning Program in 2152, only in its second year of existence.

Having just graduated from the first class and awaiting news on his first assignment, Systems Alliance Ensign David Shepard was doing what they called 'casual status' at the schoolhouse in Rio de Janeiro and worked in the new student orientation program. He was working in reception when a firebrand walked purposefully in the door and lit his soul on fire. David thought the new arrival was very attractive; she had a slim athletic build and he guessed she was 1.7 meters at best, with her boots on, and her auburn hair and piercing deep green eyes made her seem larger than life. The woman positively exuded confidence. _By God, she's perfect. They always say good things come in tiny packages._ His fingers paused on the keyboard, frozen in time as the woman glanced around the room and her eyes locked on his. He inhaled sharply as she turned and headed straight at him.

The woman strode up to the counter, stood at attention and snapped a perfect salute. "Sir! Cadet McCormick reporting for duty!"

David slowly let out the breath he was holding as he typed her name into the records search. When he spoke, his voice came out much smoother than he thought possible with the tightness he felt in his chest. "Welcome, Cadet. Relax. I am nowhere in your chain of command and you don't report in to me." His eyes drifted back up from the keyboard and met hers with a reassuring smile. "You're early. Don't need to be here until tomorrow. Most folks go to downtown Rio and report in the morning, but if you want to stay here, I'm sure we can get you settled in somewhere for the night. Don't unpack though, because you'll be moving into the dorms tomorrow with the rest of the new class."

Hannah relaxed and returned his smile. The man before her had a friendly face, with absolutely gorgeous silver eyes, and his voice was a relaxing, smooth and rich low tenor. Her stomach fluttered as wayward thoughts floated unbidden across her consciousness; _I'll bet he has a beautiful singing voice...I'd love to hear him sing._ She caught herself glancing at his hand and feeling an unexplained surge of excitement when she saw no ring; she scowled and shook her head, drawing her focus back to the task at hand.

David saw the smile vanish and turn to a frown. Curious as to the cause, words flowed from his mouth before he could stop himself. "Something wrong, McCormick? I liked you better with the stunning smile." David's eyes got big and he groaned out an apology as his own smile turned to a grimace. "Sorry, that was extremely unprofessional of me."

Hannah's confident air took a temporary hiatus as she comprehended what he said, but her lips got back some of their upward curl. _Stunning smile?_   "Uhm...no, nothing's wrong. I just...Oh hell." _He did say he's not in my chain of command...Nothing ventured, nothing gained, McCormick._ Hannah grabbed back hold of her self-assurance and set her shoulders, then continued, stronger, with a tone of gentle amusement as she spoke. "You like my smile and I like your voice. So where's that put us?"

David's smile returned as he chuckled to himself. _Oh. My. God. Did she just really say that? I think I love this woman._ David's eyes twinkled with mischievousness and he responded with a glint of humor creeping into his voice, bowing slightly as he spoke. "That puts me at an introduction, Ensign David Shepard, at your service." He paused his speech only momentarily as he stood back up straight, mustered his courage and continued, "It also puts me at your door tonight at 6 PM, in civilian attire, to take you to dinner and introduce you to Rio?"

Hannah's eyes popped wide in surprise for just a second before she managed to school her features, then she shook her head and let out an honest laugh that lit up her whole face. "Well, a girl's gotta eat, and downtown Rio sounds better than the Mess, so that sounds like a date, Mr Shepard."

\-------------------------------

The prior-enlisted commissioning course was designed to increase in difficulty as time went by, so early on, most of Hannah's evenings were free. With the time they had, David showed her the sights and sounds of Rio, and having just graduated, gave her lots of tips about the various upcoming courses and helped her pinpoint where she needed to focus her efforts. At the end of their third week, David finally got orders for his new assignment and showed up very sad at Hannah's door, telling her he had to leave the very next week. He had very much enjoyed his period of casual status in Rio, where he met and fell in love with the woman of his dreams, but they both knew he had to move on (reluctantly) to his new job.

Even though they had known each other for less than a month, they both recognized they had met their soul mates in each other, and it was a surprisingly quick and easy decision to get married after Hannah graduated. So, over the course of the year, David hurried back to Rio whenever his job permitted, which unfortunately only equated to two weeks in January and one in early May. With Hannah's increasing course load, Cadet McCormick and Ensign Shepard didn't have all that much personal time together, but neither one had unrealistic expectations and they made the most of what they could get. When David couldn't be there, they still kept in regular contact, chatting on vid calls at every opportunity. Mid June of 2153 brought them both great happiness when Hannah graduated top of her class, received her commission as Ensign Hannah McCormick, Systems Alliance Navy, and got her assignment of choice out in the frontier, on the same cruiser as David.

**2153 - SSV Hyderabad, Second Fleet, Eden Prime**

"Hannah!" As he called out, David waved his arms excitedly to get his soon-to-be wife's attention. At six foot, he towered above most of the people waiting on the transport to arrive through the relay and it was easy for Ensign Hannah McCormick to pick him out of the crowd. She soaked up the view, admiring his athletic build; he looked perfect in his leather jacket and jeans. It was obvious he was doing well, with his sparkling silver gray eyes and a wonderful tan; he must have spent a lot of time groundside on Eden Prime during his shore rotation. She was sure no one confused him for a colonist though, with his black hair cropped short in the typical high and tight haircut there was no mistaking him for anything other than a military man. She dropped her duffle and hugged him tight as he scooped her up and spun them in a circle.

As he set her back on her feet, she pulled away and smiled. "Oh, Dave! I missed you! I'm so glad to be here. I still can't believe they gave me a joint spouse assignment right out of school!" Hannah beamed at the man she had been engaged to practically since they met the year before.

David just laughed and grinned as he answered. "Of course they did, Scottie! You were first in your class. They know a mover and shaker when they see one! You could have gotten just about any assignment you wanted." He smirked as he continued, "I'm just glad you picked me... uhm, I mean the Hyderabad..." He quickly ducked away from her as she went to punch him in the arm, then quickly reclosed the gap and scooped up her bag.

Hannah glowered at him on principle, "David Shepard! You know I'm Irish, not Scottish! What am I to do with you?" Her grimace quickly crumbled into a smile at the familiar nickname and the impish look David cast her way. She wrinkled her nose, "I may need to reconsider the statement about missing you..."

David laughed again and pulled her to his side. "Come on. We'll hop the shuttle to the ship and I'll show you our new digs. They had a vacant married billet available, so they were nice and gave it to me a few days early...so you can settle right in and we don't have to worry about moving after the wedding. You've got a whole new town to explore; it's not bad, but I have to warn you...it's definitely not Rio!"

While Hannah should have had two weeks of transition time to her first job, because of her choice of assignment, she ended up pinched between her commissioning and the ship's deployment departure date. Not knowing when another opportunity would present itself, they had decided to squeeze the wedding in when they could; even with the imminent deployment, David had managed to finagle the week of vacation time. The first few days were a whirlwind of activity making final preparations for the ceremony. The colony of Eden Prime wasn't much; it had only been established the year prior and it was still largely agricultural. That said, however, humans are enterprising souls and one of the earliest things they did once they got crops growing was to set up a distillery and brewery, and the first local spirits and beer were being introduced in rationed amounts at the local supply store and made for an unexpected but pleasant addition to the small reception provided by the ship's captain, in the Captain's Mess. Things being as they were, the ship slipped out to the relay only two days after the wedding and the crew headed toward their first destination; David went back to work in Engineering and Hannah started her in processing aboard ship as a new weapons control officer.

Hannah didn't realize just how much crap in processing consisted of, and quickly understood why they allowed thirty days to get everything done. She was expected to report to work for normal duty hours, and had to squeeze all her appointments into the gaps in her schedule, leaving her little free time to do anything other than sleep. She plowed her way through all her work-center registrations, got her identification cards and uniforms issued and finished all the miscellaneous paperwork and training that was required. Sooner than she thought possible, her final transition day arrived and all she had left to complete was her biometric scanning and physical exams. After her biometrics profile was completed, Dr Low came in to finalize the exam and to discuss the scan results. Dr Low happily explained all the mandatory items and then ran the list of optional implants that were available for all active duty military members. Just when she seemed finished, she paused slightly before asking one last question. "Ensign Shepard. I know this has been a lot of information to process very quickly, so I want to be sure you noticed an optional implant that I did not include in our discussion, and explain why I didn't offer it. I know it's been less than a month since your wedding...but I did not offer the birth control implant because your pregnancy scan came back positive."

Hannah bolted upright on the exam table and practically yelled, "What?"

Dr Low cocked an eyebrow and questioned, "So, I assume this was not a planned pregnancy?"

Hannah stared at the doctor for a few seconds, holding her breath, before exhaling slowly and responding, "I... We just... Oh my. No, it most certainly was not. I need to speak to David."

Dr Low nodded her head in understanding. "Do you wish to hear all your options now, or would you like your husband to be present when we discuss them?"

Hannah actually laughed and shook her head. "No, I don't need to hear the options. David and I both want a child, we just weren't quite prepared to do it right now...but that won't matter. We're keeping... it?" Hannah paused briefly before continuing. "I don't know if David wants to know the gender or not. We weren't planning to do this quite yet, so we hadn't discussed it."

Hannah gave an anxious look to Dr Low, who responded with a chuckle. "Well, I have to tell you anyway. Alliance regulations." She laughed at the expression on Hannah's face, realized what the Ensign was thinking and quickly corrected the misconception. "I don't have to tell you the gender... I have to give you your options, whether you already know for sure what you want to do or not." She continued after she saw the relieved smile spread across Hannah's face, running the checklist of options and having Hannah provide a biometric signature saying she received the briefing. She deferred imprinting on a final decision, because she did want to confirm with David, first. Dr Low shooed her out the door with a final statement and a warm smile. "I need to see you back here in less than seven days with your final decision, if possible with your husband in tow. Then we'll do whatever needs to be done, which I assume will be to enroll you in the Prenatal Care and New Parent Education programs."

\-------------------------------

Hannah paced back and forth in the couple's quarters, waiting rather impatiently for David to get off shift. Standard crew rooms consisted of twelve bunks with drawers underneath and individual generously sized weapons lockers; the very back of the room had a centralized sitting area and two network terminals, one in each back corner. Her and David's accompanied quarters fit in a room roughly half the size. Immediately inside the door, a small private bath was on the left, while to the right were the weapons and armor lockers for quick access on the way out the door, accompanied by a small dining table. As she walked further back into the room, a desk was against the wall to the right, immediately followed by a small seating area, with a couch and a lounge chair. Back to the left-hand side was a queen bed with drawers underneath and a large dresser. She turned around yet again and was walking back toward the front door when it finally opened and David came in. As he rolled in, he saw his wife, smiled, and was starting to ask if she was ready to go to dinner when he saw the expression on her face, stopping him cold. "Hannah! What's the matter?"

She quickly closed the distance between them and blurted out the great announcement of the day. "David. We're pregnant!"

"Wha..." David's expression quickly moved from shock to surprise to joy and a huge smile split his face as he lunged forward, crushed Hannah in a hug and gave her a passionate kiss before lifting her off the floor and laughing with delight.

Hannah's face was still creased with worry, not quite believing her husband's reaction. "So you're not mad? I mean... I know we hadn't planned on this so early in our careers."

David couldn't stop smiling. "Are you kidding? This is great! We've got three years together at this assignment. I get to see my baby..." He gently dropped Hannah back to her feet and looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. "Boy or girl?"

Hannah laughed with relief. "I did the exact same thing when I was talking to the doctor, except I hesitated because you and I haven't talked about it yet. Do we want to know the gender or do we want it to be a surprise?"

David rolled his eyes. "Oh please. With our meager salaries? We need to know so we can start buying stuff now and spread out the cost. Oh! And we get to pick a name!" David was beside himself with happiness as he grabbed his wife's hand. "Come on! Let's go get chow... and I can't wait to tell all the guys!" As they stepped out into the hall, he threw his head back and yelled at the top of his lungs, "I'M GONNA BE A DAD!"


	2. Accidental Exposure

**2153 - SSV Hyderabad, Second Fleet, Flotilla Charlie - Deployed**

The Hyderabad was the lead cruiser for a small patrol flotilla and they had an assigned mission to travel through the Traverse on a routine "show the flag" tour through the Second Fleet's area of responsibility. The recurring mission was two-fold; first it entailed scheduled stops to drop supplies, provide tech assistance as required and collect status reports from two active sites, Therum and Chohe. Therum was a small mining and research site in the Knossos system of the Artemus Tau cluster and Chohe was a small Sirta Foundation research outpost in the Hades Gamma's Cacus system. Second, and a much larger portion of their mission, was to scan for anomalies, pirates and slavers throughout their entire sector. Their full area of responsibility covered the entirety of the Artemus Tau, Hades Gamma, Voyager and Gemini Sigma clusters; four clusters with fourteen systems, combining for a total of fifty five planets to be scanned. The relay dropped them into the Hades Gamma cluster, and the plan was to scan all twenty four planets within its five systems in a clockwise rotation, ending at the Chohe research outpost before moving into the next cluster. A similar pattern would be the standard for all four clusters--with only two scheduled stops the entire time, which equated to a lot of ship time; roughly ten weeks before they set foot on Chohe, another 10 weeks until Therum, and a final six weeks before they were back at Eden Prime.

It was David's second time out on the circuit and being familiar with the routine and relatively unconcerned about career progression, he took the six-month tour in stride. Being a 'mover and shaker' as David called her, and determined to make a great first impression, Hannah couldn't have been any more in contrast to David's easy going attitude. She spent every spare moment she found in the first couple of weeks familiarizing herself with the variety of weapons on the cruiser, and since they encountered nothing of interest during that time, the Operations Officer had ample time to run her and all the fire teams through multiple drills. Near the end of the month, they encountered their first hint of action somewhere near Nonuel in the Plutus system and Hannah was more than ready for action. However, it ended up just being a couple of small merc transports, easily dispatched by the frigates in the flotilla, so the cruiser never put its guns to use.

The stop at Chohe didn't amount to much either, but at least she got off the ship for a bit; it was as close to a mid-tour break as she was going to get. The outpost had some defensive weapons to maintain, but the majority of the research facility was underground so they didn't see much of the actual planet while they were there, with perfectly good reason; the planet's atmosphere was practically nonexistent, a near-vacuum, and though the advertised average temperature was pleasant, it was very misleading, because the days were extremely hot and the nights extremely cold...and there was twenty-seven hours of each, for a fifty-four hour day. The facility was very constricting, with small rooms and narrow passageways, and Hannah was more than ready to be back on the cruiser and underway. After they jumped to the Gemini Sigma cluster, they had a repeat of the pirate chase at Nonuel, this time near Mavigon in the Han system, and Hannah started to wonder if the Hyderabad really was just a flag ship, carrying supplies and support, while the frigate crews would be the only ones to actually get any action.

The second half of the tour was a bit more challenging and made Hannah reconsider her rush to judgment. Two weeks into the Artemus Tao cluster, the flotilla chased yet more pirate vessels when they jumped into the Macedon system; the pirates had three Corvettes which easily outran the frigates, and while the first two escaped, a well-placed shot from the Hyderabad incapacitated a third. The captain immediately dispatched a boarding team with the intent to take prisoners and recover information on the location of the main pirate base in the system. Hannah was shocked as the boarding shuttle closed on the enemy and the Corvette exploded, taking the Alliance shuttle and the twelve Marines with it. It was a staggering wakeup call for the young ensign and a painful reminder as to why the Alliance needed the flotilla out in the Traverse to begin with; pirates had no respect for life. Hannah was taken aback and a bit nervous when she was called before the investigative review board looking into the death of the Marines. The responsibilities associated with her position were highlighted when she realized they were looking at her targeting solutions, debating if any miscalculations on her part resulted in the eezo core breach that caused the explosion. She had complete faith in her work, but still breathed a sigh of relief when the board ruled her targeting solution was perfect and the pirates purposely overloaded their own core to prevent capture. The relief she felt was a shallow victory, knowing there were still twelve dead Marines, no matter how it happened. After a hasty salvage operation and a solemn memorial service broadcast flotilla wide, the mission pressed on.

The last stop in the Artemis Tau cluster, Therum, proved much more interesting than Chohe, with the surface being dotted with mine entrances, Prothean ruins, and an occasional river of lava. Unfortunately, those rivers of lava made much of the surface ungodly hot and the team had to stay in environmental suits any time they were outside, in case one of the many volcanic rifts decided to act up. Therum was a budding mining colony; a potentially very rich mining colony with pockets of trace eezo, as well as a plethora of heavy metals much desired across all of Citadel space. Jonah Ashland of Eldfell-Ashland Energy had two fully loaded freighters ready to return to the Sol system and requested fleet escort to the relay in Hades Gamma. Once the freighters broke atmosphere, the Hyderabad and two frigates led out to the Artemis Tau relay with the two frigates following behind and the last three frigates of Flotilla Charlie in trail. When they emerged at the Hades Gamma relay in the Antaeus system, on-board sensors detected a small ship jumping away in FTL. The captain assumed it to be a pirate scout ship and deployed the flotilla in a defensive configuration around the relay and freighters. The relay realignment from Artemis Tau to the Exodus cluster took approximately ninety minutes, during which time the two freighters would have been sitting ducks had they not been escorted. As it was, the appearance of the cruiser and accompanying frigates must have been enough to dissuade an attack, because no pirates showed up and shortly after the relay completed its realignment and came back online, the EAE freighters jumped to the Exodus cluster and the bulk of the Second Fleet without incident.

The next realignment took much longer and a lengthy five hours later the flotilla jumped to the Voyager cluster to finish the last six weeks of the mission. The cluster contained three systems, composed of fourteen planets, and turned out to be remarkably busy with an unusually high level of mercenary activity. After tracking multiple signals over a number of days, the flotilla narrowed the main base of operations down to the planet Agebinium in the Amazon system and a quick scan revealed an illegal mining operation. Standard procedure was to remove the mercs, by force if necessary, then cordon off the mine and occupy the site. The holding force would consist of four squads, for a total of twenty four Marines, supported by four Alliance Heavy Turrets on the ground, and the Hyderabad and two frigates in geosynchronous orbit above the site. The remaining three frigates from the flotilla would resume patrol and finish scanning the remainder of the cluster. First Fleet would dispatch a relief force for long term security, along with a geological survey crew to establish the status of the mine as a viable resource. Once they arrived, Flotilla Charlie would be released to return to Eden Prime.

Captain Joab Laban stood in the CIC of the Hyderabad and saw the last of the ready lights go green. "Initiate Operation Alpha." Immediately, two UT-47 Kodiak shuttles dropped out from the frigates that would be remaining on station. As soon as they were clear, the frigates made sequential touchdowns, each in turn belching an M29 Grizzly Infantry Fighting Vehicle off the rear loading ramp as soon as it touched dirt, then rapidly rising back into space. Each shuttle and each Grizzly carried a squad of six Marines. The Grizzlies approached first and eliminated external defenses with the help of the frigates' GUARDIAN laser turrets. Once the external defenses were down, the shuttles approached and the Marines disembarked. A driver and a gunman stayed in each Grizzly to guard the entrance, but the other twenty Marines breached the facility to take down the mercs.

As the shuttles relayed insertion complete messages, Captain Laban smiled and hit the comm once again. "Initiate Phase Bravo." Immediately, two Kodiaks dropped from the Hyderabad, each with equipment for two heavy turrets, four weapons maintenance technicians and a weapons officer; Ensign Hannah Shepard was thrilled to be one of the team members.

As the Marines pressed through the mine pursuing and clearing out the mercs, three Corvettes lifted out from a valley over the hill from the mine. As soon as they crested the top of the hill, they cleared the ground clutter and showed up on the shipboard scanners. The XO shouted out, "We've got contact! Only one klick northeast of insertion!" The shuttle operators and Grizzly gunners on the ground immediately rotated weapons into a defensive posture, but it was unnecessary; the surviving mercs had evacuated through a rear exit and made a run for it. They scattered in three different directions, and they scattered fast. The on-duty weapons team on the Hyderabad took out one Corvette, but the other two slipped away, hugging low in the mountains until they were out of line of site of the cruiser.

Listening to the comm chatter as she worked, Ensign Shepard called back to the XO and requested permission to change the turret installation configuration, shifting one of the four to the newly discovered rear entrance. Once the mine was cleared and the rear door declared secure, Hannah had a shuttle take one of the turret packages, two techs and her to the new location to set up the last defensive position. While they worked, the second shuttle took the remainder of the assembly team back to the Hyderabad. They finished the assembly and Hannah synced the entire system up to a unified defensive grid. Just as she was getting ready to program the system to enter an initial test cycle, the board went red and proximity alarms started going off. Thinking she did something wrong, she pulled up her omnitool to run a diagnostic, just as the turret she was standing at started to fire. The sound dampeners in her helmet were fast, but the initial shot and concussion still made her flinch in pain as the force rattled through her whole body. She yelled, "Damn it! We've got premature initiation. Shut it down!"

She glanced up at the technicians to see if they heard her above the 'fwhoomp' of the rocket launcher and saw a wide-eyed young seaman frozen in place, staring at the sky. Her head snapped around and she saw it; a mercenary Corvette had tried to sneak in fast and low and the turret had reacted and started the targeting cycle as soon as the defense grid came on line. The Corvette was now a burning mass of junk...headed straight for them. She didn't stop to think; she yelled at the seaman to move and dove behind the turret stand, praying it would protect her. The last thing she remembered was a huge explosion shaking the ground, being pelted with rocks that came off the cliff side and a huge fireball rolling over top of her. As her vision went dark, she thought... _at least I'm wearing a hard suit._

\-------------------------------

Hannah woke up thinking how much her body hurt, then her memory returned in a flash of fire. She immediately tried to sit up and check out her surroundings, but she moved too quickly, felt nauseas, and flopped back flat, groaning in agony. She heard a familiar voice, though it sounded distant, almost like the speaker was underwater.

"Ensign Shepard. Just take it slow and lay still for a moment. Can you open your eyes for me please?"

As she opened her eyes and looked around, she recognized Dr Low and realized she was in the med bay back on the Hyderabad. "Hey, Doc. I guess I was med evac'd after the crash, huh?"

"Yes, and it's a great sign that your memory seems intact. No apparent slurred speech and no excessive light sensitivity. Good. How do you actually feel?" Dr Low was looking in her eyes, testing pupillary reaction and who knew what else.

Hannah smirked, "Like I had a cannon go off right next to my ear and then got smashed by a crashing Corvette?"

Dr Low chuckled. "Well, now I know your funny bone isn't broken either." Her brow wrinkled and she pressed on, "Any nausea?"

"Yeah, that's why I flopped back down. I sat up too quick and felt like I was gonna hurl. Do I have a concussion? And can I get a drink? My throat feels like I swallowed part of that burning ship."

"Oh! Absolutely!" Dr Low grabbed a glass of water and handed it to Hannah as she continued her exam. "Yes, you have a concussion, so I didn't administer any sedatives or pain meds yet. I wanted to wait until you woke up. You also had a suit breach." The doctor watched the ensign carefully for her reaction to that statement, and Hannah quickly realized there was some reaction Dr Low was waiting for.

She started speaking, slowly, trying to give her brain time to catch up and figure out what she was missing. "Suit breach. Hell, that could have come from any number of things, but most likely shrapnel from the Corvette." It suddenly dawned on her and she immediately understood the implications and struggled to sit up. "Oh, hell! The Corvette! Was there an eezo core breach? Was I exposed to eezo?"

Dr Low grabbed her arm and helped her sit up, then adjusted the top of the bed so Hannah could lean back against it. "Let me start out by saying straight up...you and the baby are perfectly fine. Now, the details. Yes, there was a breach, but your hard suit minimized your exposure. You are in the majority grouping of it having no effect, but we'll be monitoring your pregnancy over your last trimester anyway, so we'll monitor eezo symptoms as well, just to be sure. Your daughter is also showing absolutely zero signs of precancerous mutation, but it's too soon to tell if there are any mutagenic effects. There is still a small chance she could develop eezo nodules in her nervous system, but I don't think the level of exposure was sufficient to result in biotics manifestation. I can't guarantee that, we'll just have to put it in her record and monitor her. Questions?"

Hannah shook her head. "I'm not gonna ever come see you again, Doc. You always seem to deliver the most surprising news." They both grinned as Hannah continued. "Questions. Not really. Oh...on the other hand... You say you'll have to monitor Samantha. How long?"

Dr Low smiled, "Samantha? I assume you've picked a name?"

Hannah beamed, "Yes, in honor of my mother; Samantha Jean McCormick. The baby will be named after both of us and, of course, take David's name. She'll be Samantha Hannah Shepard."

Dr Low opened her omnitool and made an entry. "Wonderful! I've added it to your file, but of course you can change it any time until it's logged on the birth record. Of course even then you can change it, just requires a bit more work to do so. Anyway, if biotics are going to manifest, it generally occurs before or with puberty, unless there's an extraneous event that forces the issue one way or the other. So it's essential to monitor until fourteen, maybe? Current practices dictate we monitor until they turn eighteen. Once they hit adulthood, it's up to them if they want to continue the monitoring program." Dr Low registered Hannah's nod of understanding and continued, "Now, if you have no further questions, I've had a very worried young man standing out in the hallway wringing his hands for the last two hours. He's already been given all the information, so no explanations are necessary. You ready for some company?" Dr Low's eyebrows quirked in anticipation of a yes.

Hannah sighed, "One more question, Doc... Seaman Winters?"

Dr Low's happy expression fell into a well of sadness. "Perished in the crash, I'm afraid. The Marine contingent at the door grabbed Seaman Michaels and pulled him to safety, but Winters was too far away. They couldn't reach him in time. They lost a couple men as well, during the assault. I'm sorry, Ensign."

"Well, shit. I kinda figured. Winters froze. I saw him and it was like his feet were glued to the ground. He just stared at the Corvette as it blazed towards him. I yelled, but was diving behind cover so I never saw what he did. I was hoping...at the last minute..." Hannah met Dr Low's eyes as she finished. "...he'd do... something. Ya know?"

"Yes. I know. Sometimes soldiers run into something that's just bigger than them and their brain can't process it. They just can't get past it, don't know what to do with it. Unfortunately, it happens sometimes." After a silent pause, the doctor shrugged her shoulders and walked to the door, preparing to let David into the room.

"Hey, Doc?" Hannah waited until Dr Low stopped and looked back at her. She spoke softly into the subdued quiet, "I have a rule. We've shared death. It's not Ensign anymore. It's Hannah."

The Doctor's eyes clouded for a brief moment before shining clear. "Very well, Hannah. I'm Jennifer." She smiled and gave a quick nod, as if to confirm to herself it was ok. "My friends call me Jenn, and you're right, we've shared death. That bonds us in a way nothing else can."

Hannah smiled back at her, "Thanks, Jenn. I'd love to see my husband now."


	3. To the Rescue

**2163 - SSV Fuji, First Fleet, Arcturus Station**

"Captain Shepard! There's a band of pirates that has trapped the colonists in the church basement, and they're threatening to burn it down with everyone locked inside!"

The Captain analyzed the situation and made her snap decision with laser precision. "Murdoch and Johnson. You two are on sniper duty...Take out anybody who even thinks about peeking outside. Sullivan, Michaels and Smith, you guys cover the back. Clover and Hills, you're with me on the frontal assault." Captain Shepard glanced around her squad to make sure everyone got their assignments and glanced down at her chrono. "Alright, be prepared to go in, move to position and go in thirty from my mark. Ready. Ready. Mark!"

The group dispersed like a well oiled machine and everyone was in position to make the charge. The pirates had seen them coming and were bunkering in; this was going to be a tough take-down. The Captain was watching the time, and on the mark she charged in, yelling to her squad, "Go! Go! Go!"

The hail of gunfire was incredible and the pirates were falling fast. Suddenly the Captain saw a pirate pop up from behind a wall and she called out, "Hills! On your six!" as she dived at the enemy, hoping she made it in time. There was a loud crash and suddenly all was silent except for the soft patter of feet drawing quickly closer from a room off to the side of the alter.

"What under God's creation?" Father Stevens slowed down and stopped, immediately recognized the invaders and scanned the chapel, zeroing in on the squad leader. He moved quickly to the back pew, where he could hear a low groan and see the target of the two 'snipers' peeking over the back of the bench and snickering.

"Samantha Shepard. What have you done this time?"

\-------------------------------

Hannah's omnitool chimed and glancing at the holo screen, she feared there was only one person this could be about. She closed her eyes with a big sigh and punched the activate key. "Hello Father. This is Lieutenant Shepard."

"Hello again, Hannah. You'll need to bring reinforcements today, I fear. You have a full squad of eight, and you'll have to do a medevac. Nothing horribly serious, I don't think. Perhaps a dislocated shoulder and a good scratch on the forehead."

Hannah shook her head and prayed for patience. "I'm sorry, Father. Give me five minutes. Chapel 2?"

\-------------------------------

Doctor Karin Chakwas quietly surveyed the damage and raised an eyebrow as she started collecting her necessary tools. "How'd you get injured today, Captain Shepard?"

Captain Shepard stood tall, ignoring the deep gash in her forehead that was probably going to need at least twenty stitches. "I dove over a pew to tackle a pirate and he smacked me with the butt of his shotgun! It's ok. It's just a flesh wound."

Karin chuckled and shook her head. "I translate that as smacked your forehead on the bookrack on the back of the pew in front of you, and caught your shoulder on the bench on the way to the floor?"

"Hmmf. Yeah." Samantha looked none too pleased with the doctor's version.

Hannah had a warning tone in her voice. "Samantha Shepard. Where are your manners?"

The nine-year-old Shepard sat up straight and rapid-fired. "Sorry, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, that's what happened, ma'am."

Karin's lips twitched, but she did a very good job of not laughing. After she cleaned Shepard's forehead, she closed up the 'twenty-stitch' gash with a two-inch line of liquid bandage and two steri-strips. "The shoulder is just a subluxation, so it popped right back in. I still want to immobilize it for twenty-four hours, and ice for fifteen minutes at a time, every couple of hours while she's awake. I'll give you some pain killers as well, to take only as necessary. Probably need them for the first day, then just to get comfortable to sleep at night. Should be no longer than a week and she'll be back to full speed."

"Geez! A whole week? My squad's gonna fall apart without me!" Samantha had an expression of pure exasperation on her face.

Karin just had to laugh at the earnestness of her statement. Looking at Hannah, she offered, "Why don't you head back to work? I've got her; I want to get the first ice treatment on it, anyway. We'll grab some dinner and then I'll bring her back to your place in time for bed. I'll sit and read until you get off work."

A sincere look of thankfulness flickered across Hannah's face. "Thanks a bunch, Karin. You're a life saver! Still good for dinner tomorrow at seven, with drinks after?"

A broad smile beamed from Karin. "Absolutely! And I'll bring the Serrice Ice!"


	4. Gone to the Dogs

**2165 - SSV Geneva, Second Fleet, Arvuna**

Lieutenant Commander David Shepard was assigned to the SSV Geneva as her lead engineer in the summer of 2164. It was a great job, but the long hours presented difficulties, particularly as a solo parent raising eleven-year-old Samantha. Normally she would have stayed with her mother, but Hannah was serving on the SSV Hastings, a small frigate on a classified mission that didn't allow for nonessential personnel. So, since Hannah's reassignment from the Fuji to the Hastings, Samantha had been with Dad. Not that he didn't love having her; after two consecutive joint assignments, he had missed her tremendously when Hannah took their six-year-old to the Fuji. Being an Everest-class capital ship with five thousand souls aboard, the 888-meter dreadnought had been a better place to raise a kid without having to worry about the street gangs and crime of London, where David had been stationed at the Alliance Earth Headquarters. As it was, they spent every available day of vacation time together; Hannah spent her thirty days every year taking Samantha to London to see David, and he spent his thirty days on the dreadnought with Hannah and Samantha. Ten days every couple of months wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either, and it gave the family a chance to catch up and stay connected.

Their new assignments told a different story. The Geneva wasn't nearly as large as the Fuji, being just a cruiser with less than four hundred personnel, and it was challenging at first for an active child like Samantha to adapt to such a limited environment. Add on the nature and location of Hannah's job, and David and Samantha couldn't go visit, so they were limited to Hannah's vacation time and the first year she only got two weeks. It was their first long-term separation and they learned how to make do with lots of vid messages; it wasn't optimum, but it worked in a pinch. While David had initially worried about Sam getting into trouble with the other kids, leading them off onto some adventure like she had with her 'crew' on the Fuji, into parts of the ship where they weren't supposed to be, Samantha surprised them both with her maturity. Samantha was smart and had spent her entire life onboard ships, so understood how they worked...not just the ships themselves, but the military aspect of daily life; rank structures, the chain of command, emergency procedures, the whole shebang. So, being the enterprising child she was, before long she integrated herself into the crew and acted as a Yeoman of sorts, running messages and data pads between workstations and fetching tools, meals, and anything else she was permitted to carry and big enough to fetch.

She enjoyed the freedom, loved her Dad, and respected that he trusted her to roam freely to do the things she did. David and Hannah were both very pleased with Samantha's willingness to pitch in and the ship's captain was so taken with her, he even occasionally called Samantha up on the Bridge to watch the star charts as they navigated routine relays as a reward for her 'work.' She truly embraced life on board ship and couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

**2165 - SSV Hastings, Second Fleet, Classified Location: Skyllian Verge**

Lieutenant Commander Hannah Shepard was on duty, monitoring weapons systems and running checks and diagnostics. Being out in the Skyllian Verge bordering Batarian space was not the place to have weapons systems go down. The four-eyed bipeds were certainly not the friendliest of non-council races, being particularly well known for their pirate gangs and slaving rings out in the Terminus Systems. The Batarians had recently seceded from the Council in 2162, when continued Human expansion into the Verge had caused tension after the Council refused to declare the Verge as an area of "Batarian interest" and make it off-limits to other species for colonization. In protest, the Batarians severed relations, closed their Citadel Embassy and withdrew under a policy of isolationism.

Tensions were still high and there were periodic skirmishes along the border regions between independent trading and scouting vessels, but nothing of note had occurred as of yet, and Hannah was determined to keep it that way through a strategy of deterrence. No sane Batarian slaver or pirate would take on an Alliance frigate with weapons at the ready, and if a larger fleet showed up, the Hastings would broadcast a warning and jump FTL back to Elysium to notify the Second Fleet. The Hastings was on the relay run and just shy of the halfway mark out to their destination. Once at the relay, they would patrol the region and loiter for a day to scan the surrounding area before heading back to home station. The relay was approximately nine hours from Elysium and they had another five hours of travel by FTL to their destination. Hannah was hoping for a nice quiet tour; last thing she wanted was a conflict with a Batarian vessel that could draw the Alliance into all-out war with the Batarian Hegemony.

Hannah's hopes were shattered when the klaxon rang, followed by a ship-wide announcement warning of an imminent emergency deceleration. The Hastings dropped out of FTL and pulled a high speed turn, jumping back into FTL as soon as the new course could be plotted. Instead of the relay, they had turned completely around and were headed back past Elysium, going to a remote classified research station on Sidon. The trip would take roughly seven hours and as the crew transitioned to their battle station assignments and readied themselves for a counterattack against a large band of Blue Suns raiders who attacked the facility, Hannah said a quiet prayer of thanks that it was not war with the Batarians. She was preparing to send a quick message to David when the commander of the Hastings, Captain Ballard, issued a communications blackout until mission termination because of the nature of the classified research at the facility and lack of information on the purpose and severity of the attack.

Down on the crew deck, XO David Anderson selected the five-person ground crew and planned out the assault. Information was sketchy; the work at the facility was highly sensitive and led by Dr Shu Qian, a specialist in the field of virtual intelligence. Upon arrival, Anderson took the team down to the surface and entered the secure area of the research station. Entry was via an elevator that should have been guarded, however all the security personnel the team located were dead; the Blue Suns had been merciless, sparing no one. The team found the facility doors open, with no signs of forced entry, and the Blue Suns had treated the scientists no differently than they had the security personnel, most shot execution style at close range. Everything indicated an inside job that had already been completed and just as Anderson thought they had arrived too late, chaos erupted around them. Blue Suns mercenaries charged into the lab guns blazing. It didn't take Anderson long to realize the mercs weren't trying to kill them, they were trying to get by them and the Alliance team was blocking the exit. When the gunfire quieted, the Hastings team was victorious and there was only one surviving merc. As Anderson walked up, the merc was laughing weakly.

"You may think you've won, but you're all dead, just like us." The merc's grin showed red in his teeth as he coughed, obviously choking on his own blood from a punctured lung.

Anderson wrinkled his brow as he responded, "We're doing pretty well, I'd say. No dying going on here, except for you. Tell me who you are and why you're here, we'll double-time you back to the med bay and you might survive this."

The merc coughed again and doubled up in pain before he spoke one last time. "No... Our boss doesn't leave... anything to chance... No time... bomb set to go..."

As soon as he heard the word bomb, Anderson yelled at his team to retreat. He grabbed the merc and started to drag him toward the elevator; Gunnery Chief Jill Dah had served with Anderson during the First Contact War and stayed to help as the other three team members beat feet toward the elevator. Dah had just stowed her weapon and grabbed one of the merc's arms when their world exploded, finishing off the already weak merc and injuring both her and Anderson. The entire lower level was nothing but rubble, and the remaining ranking member, Corporal O'Reilly, called down a rescue and recovery team. An hour later, all personnel were once again safely aboard the Hastings; it had been ten hours since the klaxon rang and Captain Ballard had cut external communications and as the messages began pouring into the comm center once again, the Yeoman piped in, "Captain, we've got a priority message from command."

The Yeoman transferred it to a datapad and handed it to Ballard to read. After Ballard input his decryption key and progressed through the message, his expression grew darker by the line and at the end he whispered, "What a cluster fuck." He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a big sigh as he dropped the hand holding the datapad down to his side. He looked to the helmsman, "Get us on course back to Elysium, please, Mr Moyers." Once he received confirmation, he then looked to the Yeoman with a shake of his head. "Give me twenty minutes before having Chaplain Smithers report to my ready room, and then send Lieutenant Commander Shepard ten minutes later."

The Yeoman's face paled as she acknowledged the order. There was only one reason the Captain would need to speak to the Chaplain first and the Yeoman didn't want to think about the news about to be delivered to Hannah Shepard.

**2165 - SSV Geneva, Second Fleet, Arvuna**

The Geneva was between deployments and David Shepard was working away with two technicians, catching up on routine preventive maintenance while a news broadcast constantly chattered in the background. The stories were varied, ranging from the newly appointed Alliance Ambassador, Anita Goyle, attempting to get a Human into the ranks of the Spectres as a first step to being accepted into the Citadel Council, to the discovery of a new garden world by Humans in the heart of the Terminus System. It took Humanity one hundred years after landing on the moon before the first colony was established on Luna...and then, just sixteen years after finding the Charon Relay, they were already discovering and settling a world on the opposite side of the galaxy, almost directly across the galactic core from the Sol system; it amazed Dave to think about it. He was pulled from his rumination when he heard a voice he didn't recognize coming from behind him.

A man in light tactical armor was standing in the core fuels storage area staring at the vid screen. "Absolutely inspiring, isn't it? The capabilities of the Human race never cease to amaze me." He smiled as his eyes came off the screen and he looked at David. "Sorry, Commander, but I seem to be lost. Always been on frigates and the cruiser's configured a bit different."

"What are you doing in here?" David didn't recognize the man at all, and had no idea how he could have possibly gotten into this section of the ship without authorization and an access chip.

The man didn't look troubled by the question at all. "I'm here with a maintenance team from the colony and I needed to use the bathroom. Got turned around with the instructions and, well, here I am. The door went green as I walked by so I figured the chip they gave me unlocked it. I came in hoping somebody could give me instructions on how to get back to where I need to be."

David frowned; maintenance workers didn't usually show up in armor, and security escorts should have been fully briefed on the ship layout. He noted to have a chat with the security coordinator as soon as this guy was back where he was supposed to be. "You shouldn't be in here unescorted, so I'll have one of my folks take you back out. What work site are you supposed to be at?"

The man shrugged his shoulders and opened his omnitool, "I don't know what it's called, I just have a map; problem is, the map doesn't have a 'you are here' dot, so I can't get from here to there, because I don't know where 'here' is." He grinned as he pulled up the map for David to look at.

David was puzzled by the map as he studied it. "Well, _that_ dot must be the missing 'you are here' dot, because this is the room you're currently standing in, so where is your destination dot then, because I don't see anything else marked..."

As he leaned in closer to get a better view of the map, David realized his mistake a second too late. With the commander now within reach, the man's arm swung quickly and he smashed David on the side of his head as he pulled a pistol from some hidden pocket. The man sneered, "Too late, Commander," as he squeezed off a couple quick rounds, dropping the two unarmored techs at the back of the room.

Had David been shorter, the blow probably would have caught him on the temple and stunned him instead of catching him on the jaw and just knocking him down. He took advantage of the attacker's temporary shift of attention required to aim the pistol at the techs and rolled behind the desk, punching furiously on his omnitool and sending out an alarm. The onboard alarms immediately started ringing, and the entire crew was alerted to the unauthorized entry into the engine core room.

The man glanced back over to where David was hiding, the pistol barrel following his eyes. "That was a very stupid thing to do, Commander. You just got a lot of innocent people killed over a tiny storage canister full of antimatter. Not like I came here alone. You just couldn't let this stay simple." He paused for only the briefest of moments before ordering, "Get up."

David almost laughed as he remained in his cover. "You think I'm going to make this easy on you? Not a chance I'm opening the vault for you."

The man just shrugged his shoulders. "Fine. I don't need you to. We have hacking programs for that contingency." As he quit speaking he suddenly lunged toward the desk and before David could move, the man had shoved the desk over, pinning David to the wall behind it. "You're a smart man. You're an engineer. Too bad you didn't have anything besides basic combat training. You would've known to keep moving to make a harder target."

David could see the two technicians dead on the floor; eyes open, expressions of shock frozen on their faces, and knew the man would have no mercy. As the man leaned over the desk and raised his pistol, David squeeze his eyes shut and whispered the only words that came to mind. "I'm so sorry, Hannah."

\-------------------------------

Samantha was in the crew mess hall picking up lunch for the guys in the armory. They couldn't exactly leave the weapons unsecured to come eat, and the weapons had to be always available for issue even when in port, so that was one task she did every day if her dad was working. She would pick up and deliver their lunch, and they would talk guns while they all ate. She had to wait until she was fourteen to actually fire anything on the range, but she was a quick study so all the guys liked her, and they frequently pulled something off the rack and taught her everything they knew about that particular weapon. She had only been doing the lunch run the last few months, but when you do it almost every day, they'd gone through most of the weapons in the inventory. It had gotten to the point where they would test her to see how many of the different weapons she could field strip and reassemble in under a minute. The pistols and basic assault rifles were easy, but the SMGs had too many moving parts and she could only get a couple of the most basic ones done within the time limit; still pretty impressive for an eleven-year-old.

They always suckered newly assigned marines with the same bet; the new guys would walk in for initial weapons issue and the armory guys would tease them with the "little girl who brings us lunch is probably faster than you." Of course, they almost always won. Every once in a while they'd find a real weapons geek like them who was pretty fast, but it was rare, so the odds were definitely in their favor. They had told Sam that a new batch would be coming in the next week so she had to be ready. She was laughing and telling them it wouldn't be a problem when the alarms started blaring. The room erupted with activity, locks being undone with weapons and ammo being prepositioned on the counter. Samantha was moving fast to get out of the way and head to her assigned safe area when she heard someone call out. "Hey! Pull the specialty ammo, standard loads only... the alarm is in the Engineering core!"

As all the second shifters began hustling into the room to get their gear, everyone got really busy and no one saw Samantha slip into the maintenance access hatch and head toward engineering. She was going to find her dad. They had lived on military vessels her whole life and Samantha knew what death was... she had arguments with her parents and she understood anger... but when she found her father lying dead in a puddle of his own blood, she experienced a new emotion she had never felt. It was called hate.

**2165 - SSV Hastings, Second Fleet, Elysium**

Hannah was in her room packing her bags when her omnitool buzzed. She wasn't planning on answering it until she glanced at the caller and saw the name; Dr Chakwas. She took a steadying breath and hit the activate key. "Karin."

As a skilled trauma doctor, Karin Chakwas always performed well under pressure and now was no exception. She dived right in, "Hannah, I am so sorry. I just heard. I've already taken a leave of absence and I'm on the next shuttle. It's a direct jump from here and I will be with Samantha in less than twelve hours. I know it's going to take you at least three days to get there from your location and I want Sam to have someone familiar there for her."

Hannah barely stifled a sob as she started speaking, "Oh Karin. I...I can't believe it. I'm the one in the borderlands on the high risk mission and something happens to David in the colonies! God! Karin...Samantha is the one that found him!"

Karin's face registered shock and then immediately fell. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Hannah! I'm glad I'm already headed that way, or I'd start packing now anyway. That had to be horrible! What the hell happened? Can you say anything yet?"

Hannah nodded, "Captain Ballard didn't say anything about the information being classified, so I don't see why not." She paused, trying to figure out where to begin. "It was that damn extremist group, Cerberus. They infiltrated routine preventive maintenance teams during the annual inspections. David was the one to send the warning notice and trigger the alarm. They think his actions got everyone in the core killed. Shot them dead, then hacked the storage vault. They were after the stored canisters of antimatter. My husband and two technicians died over a couple little cans of space gas." Hannah's face twisted with grief and she started crying.

"I'm sorry, Hannah, but I don't understand how Samantha could have possibly found him. If the ship was under attack, why wasn't she in her designated safe area?" Karin was very concerned about Samantha having to process this without family around her.

Hannah let out a heartbroken sigh. "You know our little captain. She spends lunch with the armory guys, seeing how fast she can strip and reassemble various weapons in the armory. She was there when the alarm went out and the crew had to modify the ammo distribution because of the alarm location. They called out Engineering, and Sam went to find Dave instead of going to her safe zone. The only saving grace was they were very efficient and had already hacked the vault and left the area, else... Oh, God. Karin. I could have lost Samantha too!"   Hannah busted out in tears yet again. "God, I've got to get hold of myself!" she sobbed.

Karin could see the hand Hannah was holding to her face was trembling. "I know it's useless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. Try not to worry about anything. I'll be there soon and Sam and I will be waiting for you in the assigned quarters. I just need for you to pass authorization for me to pick her up and take her home."

Hannah shook her head. "No. You're already listed as an authorized caregiver; you know you've always been our emergency back-up. I don't _have_ to do anything, but I'll give them the heads-up you're coming. Call if you run into any problems."

Karin looked earnestly at her friend across the galaxy. "Hannah. Don't worry about anything. I'm boarding the shuttle in an hour, and then I'm off to Balor. The longest part of the trip is the FTL trip from the relay arrival point out to the Aysur system. I'll be only an hour out by the time you even get on the first shuttle available in the morning. I've got this... just be careful and get yourself there safe."

**2165 - SSV Geneva, Second Fleet, Arvuna**

Karin walked into the Protective Services building on Arvuna, told them who she was and provided credentials. The woman behind the counter looked at her and pursed her lips. "You do understand we won't force the child to leave here? Since the mother is on her way, we won't make Samantha go with you if she doesn't want to... we'll gladly keep her another two days." Karen's silver eyes picked up a steely glare at the attendant's comments, but softened as the woman continued speaking. The woman had paused and looked around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. Seeing no one, she lowered her voice and continued conspiratorially, "So there. That's the party line. Personally, I hope she goes with you. She's been very withdrawn and reacts very little to outside stimuli. She needs someone she knows. This is no place for a child with real family and friends."

When Karin walked into the room where they had bunked Samantha, she got little reaction from the wilted child piled on the back corner of the bed, huddled against the wall. Karin walked over carefully and sat down on a chair next to the bed, speaking softly. "Hello, Samantha. Your Mom is on her way, but it's going to take her a couple more days to get here." Karin sat and watched a silent tear slip down Sam's face before the girl brushed it angrily away. Karin continued gently, "I'm sorry about your dad. It's ok to cry, you know. I'd worry about you if you didn't."

At that, Samantha's head came up and that single tear suddenly had many more to keep it company. She didn't look at Karin; instead, her cloudy eyes just stared forward, unfocused. Her unsteady voice was very small and quiet as she spoke, "He had just a tiny hole in the front of his shirt, but a big puddle of blood under him. It was soaking into his clothes and I wanted to move him, but I was scared to touch him...I knew he was dead, Aunt Karin. I just knew it."

Karin couldn't stand it anymore and she started crying along with Samantha. "Oh God. I'm so sorry, Sam. You should never have had to see that." Karin spread her arms welcomingly as she finished, "Come 'ere, baby girl! Aunt Karin needs a hug."

Samantha let loose a sob and crushed into Karin's embrace, not letting go for a very long time. Eventually they made their way to the quarters and Karin made sure Samantha was as comfortable as she could be, given the circumstances. Karin thought the family quarters were fairly nice, albeit cramped, but that was to be expected on board a cruiser. It was a simple two-bedroom, one-bath, with a small central sitting area that held a couch and overstuffed chair with a rectangular coffee table and a small circular dining table along the back wall between the two bedrooms. All meals were provided at the mess, so no one had their own kitchen. The next couple of days were very quiet, with the pair getting occasional updates from Hannah as she transited via Arcturus Station and the Sol relay, finally arriving at Balor. Karin had requisitioned some packing crates and had kept Samantha busy packing up the apartment, careful to label everything so it would be easier for Hannah to sort items for shipping and storage, though neither one had even entered David's room.

It was early on the third day when Karin knocked softly on Samantha's door, entering only after she received an invitation. "Just got word from your Mom. She's in the system and should be arriving in eight or nine hours." Karin smiled gently at her charge, whom she thought was holding up remarkably well. "How 'bout you come on out and we go get some breakfast? Your mom should be here in time for dinner."

Waiting on Hannah's shuttle to arrive made the day's passage agonizingly slow. When she finally disembarked, she hadn't made but four steps when she dropped her bag and knelt down, catching a sobbing Samantha in her arms. She held her daughter close and glanced at Karin, noting the grim smile and clouded expression as the doctor walked up silently, picked up Hannah's bag, and slung it over her shoulder. She hugged her daughter tight, whispering in her ear. "It's ok, I'm here now. Mamma's got you."

Samantha pulled back and drew a ragged breath before standing up straight and squaring her shoulders. "I'm ok, Mom. Karin has been great...it's just all...weird...without Dad." Tears continued to sneak intermittently from her eyes, no matter how many times she tried to be brave and blink them back.

Hannah stood and gripped her daughter firmly by the shoulders. "I know, Sam, but we'll make it. We're tough. We're Shepards."

The next couple of days went by quickly as Hannah made arrangements for David's cremation and release of his ashes in space to travel the stellar winds. Both Hannah and David were true spacers at heart, neither content to sit planet side for any duration; certainly not for eternity. She discussed it with Samantha before making the final decision and had broken down in tears for the first time since her arrival on the Geneva when her daughter had responded, "I don't need a grave to visit. The only place Dad needs to stay is in my heart."

All too soon, most everything was done and Hannah had to think about returning to work. She was still agonizing over the decision on what to do with Samantha, since she couldn't take her to the Hastings with her. They had no family to speak of; Hannah was an only child and orphaned at age seven, and David had only visited his sister three times in the last twelve years, including the time he had been stationed in London for four years... even though Bristol was only three hours away. They just weren't close, and Samantha had only met them once, for all of four hours. Karin had graciously volunteered to take her, but Hannah felt incredibly guilty to even think about taking her up on such an offer. Karin had never married nor expressed any interest in having children, so Hannah had to question what the good doctor would do with an eleven-year-old.

Karin captured Hannah's eyes before speaking, "Hannah. I'm perfectly willing or I wouldn't have offered, and it really is the best option. You know I love Samantha dearly, and it's not like it'll be the first time I've watched her for you. What else will you do? Send her to Bristol to Ann...an aunt and family she hardly knows? Landside, when all she knows is space? You've just lost David, she can't go with you, and sending her to Earth would rip away everything else she's even remotely familiar with. On the Fuji she'll have both me and Father Stevens to help her deal with this." Karin watched Hannah briefly squeeze her eyes shut trying to stop her tears, as she continued, "And it will only be for the rest of the year until your tour is up on the Hastings and you get your new posting. Why don't we ask Sam and see if she has a preference?"

Hannah blinked her eyes a few times and shrugged her shoulders in surrender as she sighed, "You're absolutely right of course. I'm trying to make this decision and I haven't even asked her what _she_ wants to do." Hannah let out a brief laugh. "She is so much like us. She can field strip and reassemble a Phalanx pistol in fifty-two seconds...I can't expect her to go learn how to quilt and grow beans. She'd be miserable within a week." Hannah looked to Karin with more gratitude than one could possibly cram into a single expression. "You sure about this? Nine months is a hell of a lot different than a couple weeks when I had to deploy for a mission..."

Karin nodded. "Absolutely positive. Every time you left, I was prepared to keep her indefinitely in the event something happened to you and David was placed in the exact situation you are now facing. I've always been ready to keep her as long as necessary; this time is no different."

\-------------------------------

It was with heavy hearts that they packed up the rest of their belongings, including David's personal things. Hannah was nothing else if not practical, and much of what was in the apartment was donated or disposed of. They only kept those things which held some particular sentimental value to either her or Samantha. On board ship, there were two choices -- it had to fit in either the clothing duffles or the gear footlocker, or it went away; they just didn't have room for a lot of extra stuff. The threesome traveled together to Arcturus and Hannah stuck around a few more days to help Karin move to her newly acquired quarters on the Fuji and get Samantha settled in. It was very similar to the quarters David had on the Geneva, except Samantha's new room had a bunk bed, of which she immediately claimed the top. Hannah was perfectly content with that, because it meant as long as she was here, she didn't have to literally climb into bed. As one of the specialty surgeons, Karin had been eligible for the move anyway, but until now had seen no purpose in taking a larger space; she certainly hadn't needed it. She made light of the situation, "Well, now that I've moved I plan on staying here until I'm reassigned. You'll have no excuse not to visit, because now I'll have a guest room!"

Hannah smiled in response. "Like I've worked so hard to dodge you... You're the bestest friend a girl could hope for, Karin!" She leaned in and gave Karin a huge hug, tears threatening to ruin the lighthearted conversation.

Karin pushed her away. "None of that now! You're leaving in the morning, and I'll not have our last night tainted with melancholy!" They picked up dinner from the mess and brought it to the room to spend their last evening eating, playing cards and drinking Serrice Ice Brandy while Samantha had watered wine. Being together again on the Fuji almost felt like old times, and they could almost forget what had happened, almost forget that David had been killed by Cerberus and wasn't just sitting in London at Alliance Earth Headquarters, almost forget about the huge hole left in all their hearts.

Almost.


	5. Accidental Exposure II

**2168 - London, Systems Alliance Headquarters**

Samantha was a space kid through and through, but being dirt side did have a few advantages. The headquarters in London was huge and Sam loved hanging around the space port and the boneyard. The old mothballed ships were fascinating, especially those that had been in the First Contact War and deemed too expensive to repair. They had been scrapped out and used for replacement parts for ships remaining in the fleet, so Shepard could check them out completely, lots of stuff not normally exposed in space open to the naked eye for study. She had learned more about the guts of a dreadnought in the last couple months than she did in the five years she lived on one. She got to see ships of all kinds, from all the council races, and _finally_ being fourteen opened quite a few doors. She was allowed to fire weapons at the ranges as long as a range master was present, and she had what was called a 'daylight license,' which meant she could drive powered transportation as long as the sun was up, so she had a way to get back and forth even if her mother was at work. They probably could have afforded a second small skycar, but Samantha was more than happy with her hovercycle. She much preferred it, actually; being buffeted by the wind and having an unobscured view all around as she cruised around. Her mom wasn't keen on it, but Samantha pacified her by always wearing her full gear; helmet, leggings, long sleeves, gloves, and boots. London had a tendency to be on the cool side anyway and the gear had literally saved her skin when she fell a couple of times while she was learning, so Samantha was happy to accommodate her mom's safety precautions.

It was late fall and Samantha was cruising through the boneyard just for kicks, wanting to take advantage of it while she still could. She couldn't ride through the winter and the weather was ready to change... and the next summer her mom would be getting a new posting, most likely back on a space rotation. Commander Shepard was a rising star on track for a command and it was apparent the Alliance was trying to get her as much varied experience as possible. Thus far, Hannah had been on a cruiser, a frigate, and a dreadnought, so there was a good chance at the next one being a carrier and Samantha was looking forward to it. She had never had much of a chance to check out operational fighters and could hardly wait for a chance to cruise the docking deck. Future plans aside, she used some of her remaining London time to check out a new area with additional ships from the First Contact War; the ships there originally had special gear of some kind and had finally passed some magic ten-year anniversary after which they were open to salvage, and living on base meant she had the opportunity to be one of the first ones to know the new section was open. She was happily cruising slowly through virgin territory checking out the sights when suddenly something stabbed sharply into the back of her skull. Her world explode in a bright flash of white and she fell from the hovercycle, her body landing crumpled next to a similarly crumpled shell of a fighter that had seen better days.

She woke disoriented, not remembering where she was but hearing her mother yelling at her. Not really yelling, per say, her mom didn't yell, but you could tell when she was angry just by the tone and pitch of her voice. Samantha's head hurt, and it hurt even more when she tried to open her eyes, and it was enough pain that her mom's words seemed garbled and indecipherable. After a few seconds, her memory surged back into place and her brain turned back on.

"...don't answer me right now you are going to be grounded for a week!" Samantha didn't even remember activating her omnitool, had no idea how much time had passed, nor how long her mother had been trying to contact her.

She started to speak while she tried to sit up. "Mom. I crashed the hover..." Her sentence was truncated as her motion triggered nausea and she threw herself to the side to prevent herself from puking down her own front.

Hannah heard the start of her daughter's sentence and then heard the retching; her anger immediately turned to concern. "Sam! Are you alright? Where are you?"

The violent turn to the side set Samantha's world spinning and she gagged as pain exploded anew in her skull. She cried out, but managed to mumble, "Mom? head. hurts. dizzy."

Hannah heard her and asked again, "Oh God. Samantha! Where are you?" After a moment of no response, she was verging on parental panic. "Sam? Please answer me, honey!"

She heard the sound of retching again and then a shaky voice in answer, "boneyard...new..." A groan of pain interrupted her words, and then Samantha continued, "section... northwest quadrant."

As soon as she heard the word 'crash,' Hannah had started moving and opened a conference call with the clinic, where the on-call Doctor was now listening in on the conversation. As soon as he heard the location, he dispatched emergency services.

"Samantha. This is Dr Michaels. Just lie still, on your side if you can, and leave your omnitool on. Can you do that for me?"

A weak voice whispered, "Uh huh..." with a following groan.

"Good girl. Now, emergency services is on the way, and they'll hone in on your signal, so they should be there very soon." Michaels just wanted to keep her conscious at this point, so tried to keep up a conversation. "What were you doing in the boneyard, Samantha?"

When he was greeted by silence, Hannah pitched in, "Sam? Sweetie? Can you still hear us?" When they still got no response, Hannah sat down hard in the nearest chair and put her head in her hands, whispering a desperate prayer. "Oh God, please. Please don't take my baby."

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Samantha was pale, trembling and nonresponsive when they brought her in. They rushed her daughter by, and Hannah was beside herself when they kept her from entering the treatment room, saying the doctor would speak to her as soon as they knew something. For a while, Hannah paced... after awhile, she sat...then she just plain worried, wondering what could possibly be taking so long. All kinds of things ran through Hannah's mind, from broken bones to ruptured internal organs, but the doctor never came out to ask for permission for any type of surgery, so Hannah was bewildered. Just as she raised her omnitool to call Karin Chakwas, Dr Michaels finally emerged, looking rather haggard. Hannah immediately jumped to her feet, the call to Karin temporarily forgotten.

"Commander Shepard. I am terribly sorry that took so long, but we ran into a complication that could have been serious, but turned out to be not so bad." He reached up and wiped his face with his hands before continuing. "We found absolutely nothing at first, and I had no explanation for Samantha's condition...until the detector in the room started to beep."

Hannah was puzzled and had to ask. "Detector? Detector for what?"

The doctor looked at her, very pointedly. "It was an eezo radiation monitor. We had to bring in a decontamination team for the room and then to trace the source. Your daughter was found next to a damaged fighter that had not been properly sanitized."

Hannah's face went white with shock and she blurted out, "That's a second exposure for her!"

Michaels raised his hand, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just laid that out there like that. We know it's a second exposure; her annual monitoring results are prominently posted in her records. Most important is your daughter is going to be fine. She's not showing any signs of malignant growths, but she is showing indications of nodule development. That's what's causing her condition; eezo migration through the body disrupts the nervous system while the nodules are under construction and interferes with communications through the brainstem, hence her initial blackout, her uncontrolled trembling and her continuing to slip in and out of consciousness. Once the eezo is done migrating and finishes coalescing at the nodules, they'll stop growing, her nervous system will find a new balance and she'll stabilize. When that happens, she should wake up and be fine. We have monitors on her to ensure her body maintains essential functions throughout the process and we'll know more over the next twelve hours... Just so you know, her earlier utero exposure may very well have saved her life, Commander."

Hannah stared at the doctor, uncomprehending. He sensed her confusion, so explained in more detail. "Her earlier low-dosage exposure basically 'desensitized' her system, kind of like a grounding rod, and prepped her system to be eezo-tolerant by forming micro-nodes. They weren't big enough to cause biotic manifestation, but they did provide a roadmap for the migration and allowed full-size nodule development to occur more easily. A post-utero exposure of this magnitude is normally fatal because the body can't process the mass migration quickly enough. Instead, the pre-established paths prevented the eezo from making any detours... and negated the probability of cancerous mutations. So, instead of her developing terminal cancer, you'll probably have a very strong, late-development biotic on your hands."

Hannah found herself falling back into the chair she vacated when the doctor walked in, finally understanding everything was going to work out ok. In relief, she sighed, "So, she's going to be fine, but she's going to develop biotics?"

Dr Michaels face split in a wide smile. "Yes, ma'am, she is going to be fine. How strong her biotics will be depends on the final size of the nodules and based on the severity of her exposure, I think she'll be in the upper output ranges. You'll need to consider where to send her for training." Dr Michaels knew all the information was a bit overwhelming, but pressed on. "I know this is a lot to take in, but you'll also need to consider getting her an implant. It's not mandatory, but if she develops to the level of power I think she will, after a couple of years of training she'll need one to help focus the energy or it could get away from her. She may have enough juice to overload her own nervous system. I don't need to tell you, that wouldn't be good. If you don't get her implanted right away, if she starts to develop headaches after biotic use, you'll need to get it done as soon as possible."

Hannah chewed nervously on her lip. "God, no. That wouldn't be good at all. I'll look into the implants, Doctor. Thank you." After a brief pause, Hannah looked up at Dr Michaels. "When can I see her?"

The doctor smiled again, "You can go in right now. She won't be coherent, but she does have periods of lucidity, and having you close might help keep her calm. A nurse will also be in the room the entire time to monitor her condition until she stabilizes."

The doctor showed Hannah to her daughter's room, and she perched on a chair right next to the bed. After typing a quick text message to Karin, she simply sat and held Samantha's hand while speaking to her gently, telling her everything was going to be alright. Sam did fade in and out of consciousness a few times, and each time she woke she seemed more aware of her surroundings.

Karin immediately arranged for a medical transport over from Arcturus and when she walked in the room, she smiled at what she saw. Hannah was sound asleep, resting against the bed with her head laid against Sam's thigh. Sam was awake and softly stroking her mom's head and playing gently with her hair. She saw Karin come in and waved silently with her free hand, smiling sleepily at the new arrival.

Karin whispered to her, her eyes twinkling with happiness at seeing Samantha awake and apparently fully functional. "Hello, Samantha. How's our intrepid adventurer?"

Sam shrugged and spoke quietly, "Fine, I guess. My head feels like someone put it in a can and beat on the side with a stick...and I'm really tired. Mom hasn't woken up, so I don't really know what's going on yet. She seemed so peaceful; I didn't want to wake her."

Karin's eyebrows came up at that statement. "So, she doesn't know you're awake yet?"

Sam started to shake her head and stopped suddenly, closing her eyes and wrinkling up her nose. "Ugh. Bad idea. Shaking my head still makes me feel like I'm gonna barf." Her eyes opened back up and she looked at Karin with an embarrassed grin on her face. "Sorry, that's kinda gross. No, Mom doesn't know I'm awake."

Karin chuckled at the young teen, "I suppose then, that we should wake her and let her share the good news."

After waking Hannah and getting the full rundown, Sam was actually pretty excited by the possibilities. Karin was also cautiously optimistic, nodding her head in approval of Samantha's attitude. "I don't want you rushing into this just yet. Let me do some research and find a good training facility... or at least a good trainer. And as long as you're not suffering from headaches, I don't want you getting implanted yet. The current L2 implants have problems with stability, and they already have a new design in the works. Give it twelve to eighteen months or so to get the bugs worked out and the new L3s should be wonderful... I think the timing will be close to perfect for you, and the L3s are designed to be much more easily upgraded than the older models. By then your skills should be developed enough that an implant would really benefit you."

At that moment, Hannah couldn't have been happier to have Karin as a friend; a trained Alliance medical profession who worked with biotics almost daily. Her knowledge on the side effects and benefits of the various implants was invaluable. Not that Hannah didn't have faith in Dr Michaels, but having Karin around, someone who Hannah knew for sure cared deeply about Samantha instead of potential performance as an Alliance biotic, was extremely comforting. She knew Karin would focus more on what Samantha needed, not what the Alliance felt best. Hannah relied on Karin to put Samantha's interests first, and as for training, Karin had told her the only Alliance funded program, the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training school, had serious problems. A recent altercation between an instructor and a couple of students resulted in the instructor's death. The entire program was under investigation, and even if it managed to pass the review boards, there was no way in hell Hannah would send Sam there. Hannah didn't care what it cost, but Samantha would either go to a private school or they would hire a personal instructor.

When they asked Samantha what she thought, she only had one request...that she not be sent away to any type of boarding school. She didn't mind going to a private school, but she wanted to be home in her own bed at night, with either her mother or with Karin. It had been three years since she lost her dad, but the ten hours she sat alone at Protective Services, waiting on someone she knew to show up, had been the worst ten hours of her life and she never wanted to have that feeling again. When Hannah heard that, she hugged her daughter tight as she quickly agreed to her request. No tears fell, but Hannah's eyes glistened as she looked across at Karin and their eyes locked. With only a quick nod of understanding, a silent compact was made that day between two best friends; if either one of them had anything to say about it, Samantha Shepard would never experience such a feeling of loss or abandonment ever again.


	6. Girl Interrupted

Notes: _ai'a me_ : a trusted friend and unquestioned ally

            _sim're_ : "Sister of my sister, not intended for relations, refers to a dear friend's loved one

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**Girl Interrupted**

 

**2171 - Arcturus Station**

Asari Matron Arlyna Sheya shook her head as yet another orb dropped to the floor before the student completed the pattern. The student was not concentrating well, she wasn't concentrating at all, really, and Arlyna wondered what was wrong. The Matron had come to Arcturus in late 2168, about two and a half years ago, as a personal favor to Dr Karin Chakwas. She had met the doctor nine years prior, when Huntress Sheya's commando team was out on maneuvers and their shuttle had a lift thruster failure during a landing approach. One commando had been killed in the resultant crash, three had minor injuries, and two, including Arlyna, had been seriously injured. The SSV Leipzig was out on patrol and happened to be the closest vessel, so they responded to the emergency beacon. Dr Chakwas saved the commando that day and Huntress Sheya felt she owed her a debt of life. As a doctor, Karin waived it off and the huntress was sure it was a debt she would never be allowed to repay. They had kept in touch, and when Karin asked about her availability to provide biotics instruction to the daughter of a dear friend, Arlyna jumped at the chance to help, bringing her bondmate, Niria Phessi, along as well, planning for a long-term stay. The Alliance suddenly found itself fortunate enough to have two Asari biotics instructors on Arcturus Station.

With the 'official' Alliance biotics training program in shambles, Karin had easily secured two training rooms from a grateful headquarters alliance staff , along with an overabundance of students on Arcturus station to keep Huntresses Sheya and Phessi fully employed and still have a wait-list. The first-year classes were daily for an hour every morning, the students not having the skills or endurance for longer exercises. In the second year, those students moved to two- and three-hour sessions of more intense work, immediately following lunch, three days a week. The other two weekly afternoons were reserved for the third-year advanced students, all of which were in the military and the Alliance picked up the tab, except for one special case, Samantha. She was normally an exceptional student and her current poor performance was very atypical so the instructor called a stop for the day and released everyone to independent practice after only two hours of the four-hour class.

As Samantha was packing up her gear, Arlyna walked over to her and gently touched her on the arm. "What is bothering you today, young one? Care to speak of it?"

Samantha flashed a quick smile and touched her right-hand finger tips to her forehead before she lowered her hand out flat, palm up, and nodded her head in respect to her instructor. " _Ai'a me,_ thank you for asking, but I'm good. Just a bit distracted. I've been studying for more credit placement exams to get what I need to finish my secondary education by Christmas."

Arlyna laughed and shook her head, "You are an ambitious maiden, Samantha Shepard, to finish your secondary schooling before eighteen years of age. Is not the customary age twenty-one or more?"

Samantha shrugged. "Yeah, twenty or twenty-one is pretty common, but not in my family. My dad finished early, so when he enlisted at nineteen he went straight into officer training, and got his commissions in only a year, instead of four years enlisted time first. I intend to do the same... uphold the family name and all." Shepard plastered on a lopsided grin that Arlyna had come to associate with the young woman over the last couple of years.

The instructor studied the face of the one before her, whose grin did not reach the eyes, before speaking again. "I still sense something disturbing you, and I do not believe it to only be your studies. Tell me, _Sim're_."

Sighing, Samantha confessed, "I've been getting headaches. I need to talk to Karin about it, to figure out if it's from stress or just being tired... or if it's time to think about getting my implant. I was hoping to finish my coursework first, but I'm kind of afraid to overdo my biotics in the meantime, just in case.

Huntress Sheya's face became very stern, and her voice was commanding, "Samantha Shepard. There is nothing to 'think about.' Go. Talk to Dr Chakwas. I've stopped class early, so you have plenty of time before your mother expects you home. This is nothing for you to fool with, and I... we all... care for you deeply. If not respected, biotics can be very dangerous. I have taught you this. Do not ignore the dangers."

Samantha's hand touched her forehead once more, beginning the salute to her friend, " _Ai'a me,_ I apologize and meant no disrespect." As her hand came down and her head bowed, she finished, "I'll head over to the Hawking immediately. Thank you..." Samantha's head came up with an honest smile, "...for caring and being more than just a teacher."

The huntress laughed gently and hugged her, "I am sorry. I did not mean to sound so harsh, but you concern me with the impetuousness of youth. I do care for you and would not want to see you hurt over something so preventable." As she released the hug, she gave Shepard a soft push. "Now go, before I tell your mother."

Shepard's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't!" The expression on Arlyna's face told her otherwise, so she revised her statement. "Alright... You would. I'm going!" Laughing, she grabbed up her gear bag and jogged out of the training room with a final wave before she disappeared around the corner.

**2171 SSV Hawking**

Samantha cruised into the medbay and dropped her gear bag on the floor. Karin glanced up to see who came in, looked at her chrono and frowned. "Samantha? What brings..." She never finished her question; as Samantha went to lean against one of the metal exam tables, a strong glowing blue biotic discharge arced from Samantha to the table and the tray of medical scanners and instruments. With a resounding 'snap,' the tray and everything on it went flying, the instruments sparking from the electrical discharge, and Samantha stumbled backwards, her eyes wide with surprise, tripped over her bag and landed hard on her backside with a loud exclamation to accompany the thump as she hit the floor, "Holy Shit!"

Every head in the medbay was suddenly focused on the walking electrical storm that had just entered. Human biotics were still a relatively new phenomena whom few people trusted, and like the witches of old, some extremists considered them oddities of nature to be locked away forever in special institutions. Samantha had been called a freak more than once as a string of blue would occasionally ripple across her skin, but nothing like this had ever happened before. Samantha actually saw fear on the faces of a couple of mothers who grabbed their children and held them close, staring at her like she was some type of monster. Terribly embarrassed by what happened, her face turned bright red, and without a word she scrambled up, grabbed her bag, and ran back out into the passage way. Karin had just stood there in shock, watching the wave of destruction, but Samantha's sudden disappearance spurred her into action and she ran out of the medbay, looking frantically around to find her quarry, finally spying her moving quickly back toward the shuttle bay. "Samantha Shepard! Don't you dare run away from me!"

Samantha froze in her tracks and turned back to see Karin hustling up the passage behind her. She hung her head sheepishly, her face still bright red. As Karin neared, the doctor slowed her approach and seeing no residual glow, tentatively reached out and laid her hand on Samantha's arm. Samantha flinched at the touch, almost expecting another blue arc of fire to shock Karin where she stood, but it didn't come. She breathed an audible sigh of relief and the red in her face started to recede. Karin's eyes reflected concern, but she gave a light-hearted chuckle. "I guess I have the answer to the question I didn't get to finish... Are you ok, Sam?"

Shepard shrugged her shoulders and sheepishly whispered, "I guess so, other than a tingling hand and an aching butt." Samantha hung her head but Karin could still see shiny eyes holding back tears. "Did you see the way those people looked at me, Aunt Karin. Like I'm a freak. A couple looked like I was going to try to eat their kids."

Karin shook her head in disgust. "You are not a freak and you know it. You're one of the best souls I know, so stop it." She gave Samantha a gently tug on the arm. "Come on. Let's head back to my office..."

She didn't finish before Samantha dug in her heels. "Uh huh. No way I'm walking back in there with all those people. Can't we go to the Mess or something?"

Karin gave her a quick hug. "Oh, come now. We'll go in through the private physician's entrance and go straight to my office. Those people out front won't ever see you." She gave Shepard a reassuring smile once she quit speaking and they slowly made their way back to Karin's office. Once they were seated, Karin handed the young biotic an electrolyte drink and folded her hands on the desk. "Well now. We've talked about this for over two years, and I guess the time has come. A small static discharge is fairly normal, but blasting apart one my med beds is a bit much." Karin couldn't help but smile at the expression of exasperation on Samantha's face. "We need to put your L3 implant in to help stabilize your power fluctuations. My guess is Arlyna is going to start you on meditation techniques, as well." Karin failed to stifle a chock of laughter as she continued, "Though I can't imagine you sitting still for that long...but you'll have to learn." Shepard looked a tad bit disgruntled, and Karin ceased trying to hold in her laughter. "Oh, don't be such a sour puss. You're going to be quite a biotic one day, Samantha. This is all just short term aggravation; you'll get over it."

"I was trying to finish up my exams first, but I guess that's not gonna happen now, is it?" Shepard had a resigned look on her face, thinking of all the wasted study time over the last few weeks.

"Why would you say that? This surgery is actually fairly routine, and it only takes a couple of hours to put the base unit in. Then we wait roughly a week to let the neural pathway links fully integrate and stabilize, and we'll be ready to plug in the L3. You can continue to study while on bed rest, and while there will be no use of biotics, you can probably start meditation lessons. I see no reason what so ever for you to reschedule your exams next month. The only day you'll lose is the actual day of the surgery." Karin could see the cogs turning in Samantha's mind as she continued to explain and saw the youth's mood get continuously lighter as their discussion continued. Once everything was fully explained and Shepard felt better about the whole process, Karin stood up. "Come on, Sam. Escort me to the shuttle and let's go talk to your mom."

While they were shuttling over to the SSV Einstein, Karin texted Arlyna and Niria to let them know what was going on and to inform them Samantha wouldn't be at training the next week with the regular class. She also asked if either of them had time for one-on-one sessions to start meditation training. The shuttle arrived and they headed down to the residential deck to catch up with Hannah. When they arrived, they walked in the door and Samantha announced their arrival, adding the fact that Karin was there as well. As Samantha threw her gear bag into her room, Hannah stepped out of hers and greeted Karin with a questioning look as she started speaking, "Do I want to know why you came home with Sam?"

As Karin prepared to answer, Samantha walked up to her mom to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. Karin's eyes got wide as she saw the blue glow start to form, but before she could shout a warning, the arc jumped from the younger Shepard to her mother with a loud crack, both Shepards jumping back with howls of surprise. Karin's mouth formed a big silent "Oh" but nothing came out of her mouth except a fit of laughter. When she calmed down enough to speak she apologized and explained to Hannah, "I'm sorry. It just seems that today is the day for answering questions with minor biotic explosions. At least she didn't fry any more medical scanners or blow the electronics out of any more of my med beds!" She was still laughing lightly as she finished speaking.

It was Hannah's turn to make the big "Oh..." but she actually said it, followed by, "...my God. Did she really?" Following a vigorous nod from Karin and an increasingly red Samantha, Hannah joined in on the laughter.

Samantha glared at them both, "I don't find it particularly funny. It hurt, and there were people in the med bay that looked at me like I was a monster come to eat the whole lot of 'em." Samantha crossed her arms and leaned against a counter, a pout set hard on her lips.

Karin continued to chuckle softly as Hannah approached her daughter like a handler approaching a wild varren. "I would like my kiss and a hug... Is it safe now?" At that, Sam had to join in the laughter and reached over, hugging her mom tight and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I think so. Seems once I spark I'm good for a couple of hours. Karin told me I'd have to ground myself before touching anything metal, but I forgot... and what in the world do you have on you that's metal?" Samantha looked questioningly at her mother with pure stymied frustration.

Hannah laughed. "Same thing you'll have in another year." Hannah reached in the top of her shirt and tugged on a chain. "Dog tags!"


	7. A Woman in Uniform

**13 April 2172 - Arcturus Station**

Master Chief Reynolds had a big smile on his face when the door opened and Samantha Shepard walked into the recruiting station, followed by her mom. He stood up and saluted, "Commander Shepard. I've been waiting for you. I'm surprised you managed to keep her a civilian until after lunch."

Hannah laughed as she returned the salute. "Are you kidding? She was ready to be here when the doors opened at nine this morning, but with a birthday party and Easter weekend, I was just too darn tired to think about doing anything early! Besides, I'm not ready for my little girl to be all grown up just yet."

The Chief laughed, "Oh, no worries on that, Ma'am. She'll still be in your hair for another two months yet. Just because she's signing the papers today doesn't mean we'll start the next class early, just for her. Still starts on the fifteenth of June, just like it always has." He shifted his gaze to the younger Shepard, "Alright, Samantha, you ready to do this?"

Samantha stood up straight and looked Reynolds in the eye. "Absolutely, Master Chief."

"Alrighty, then. You know as a biotic, the Alliance limits your enlistment choices to Adept, Sentinel, or Vanguard. You have until the end of your second quarter to make a final choice, but do you want to make an early selection?"

Samantha looked puzzled. "Does it get me anything if I pick now?"

Reynolds shook his head. "At some point in the future it will. Once there are enough Human biotics the choices may be limited by need, but there's still so few of you, the career fields are wide open. If you don't know for sure what each is, I'd wait until you get your introductory classes and learn more about each career before you lock into one. Won't hurt you at all to delay."

Samantha glanced at her mom and got nothing but a smile and a short statement. "Don't look at me. You have to make this choice...your first of many, Sam."

Samantha laughed, "Yeah, but doesn't hurt to ask for advice when you can. I'm pretty sure I know what I want, but since it won't hurt me to wait, I'll waive the early selection, Master Chief." Even though she hadn't offered any advice, her mom nodded in approval as a smile crept across her face.

The next couple of hours were a flurry of paperwork and then uniforms issue, followed by a visit to the med bay to receive every inoculation known to mankind. Fortunately, the military provided immunity in the form of gene therapy, so it was a one-time good deal, and not a series of hyposprays or some other form of injection. Born a spacer in a military environment, Samantha figured she'd gotten everything one could get in the way of inoculations, but soon figured out typical childhood preventive medicine wasn't nearly as thorough as the full panel that was standard fare for your average Alliance marine or seaman. She also quickly discovered gene therapy wasn't painless, but at least she'd never have to go through it a second time. When they finally pushed her out the door, she had two full duffels of gear, her schedule for the first quarter and reporting instructions for classes starting mid-June.

**June 2172 - Officer Training**

Captain Steven Hackett stood stiffly in front of the newest officer accession class; twenty-eight new faces belonging to the best and the brightest humanity had to offer. "You are all here today because you have already proven your worth. You have completed all the prerequisites for entry during your secondary education. You are not here to learn about the military...drill and ceremony...how to march or how to salute...you've already done that. You are not here to learn about weapons and armaments... you've already done that. You are not here to learn about rank structures and the chain of command...you already know that. You are here to learn about leadership, about what it means to be responsible for other soldiers' lives, about what it means to order others to do something that could result in their death and to accept responsibility for those decisions...to learn about teamwork, duty, honor and integrity. You are here to learn exactly what it means to be an officer in the Systems Alliance military."

Hackett looked around the room at the students, then relaxed his posture a bit and wandered amongst them as he continued to speak. "You all have a special talent; one which I myself do not possess...you are biotics. And while still struggling to find a place in civilian society, your talents are particularly useful in a military application and you will always have a home in the Alliance. You are now part of a brotherhood in arms... an extended family of sorts, and we always take care of our own."

The Captain paused again and made eye contact with every student before continuing. "You have all completed BEST, the standard two-year Biotics Essential Skills Training. Part of your training here will expand those capabilities to fulfill a military core competency, be it as an Adept, a Vanguard, or a Sentinel. Each career path has its strengths and weaknesses, and each fills an important role in our expanding responsibilities, both in Alliance space and as the newest associate member to the Citadel Council. While most of your first quarter training will prepare you to choose which specialization you will select, one of your other first classes will be the Citadel Race Familiarization and Cultural Sensitivity Training."

Hackett's expression took on a look that brokered no argument. "Some of your guest instructors, as well as your full-time biotics instructors, are from other Council races. They will be treated with respect or you will find your tenure here woefully short. Our growing role in an expanding galactic environment means we will need to work cooperatively with newly encountered races. That starts here."

The Captain returned to the front of the room and turned back to the class one last time and put a smile on his face. "I expect the best of all of our new students and I am rarely disappointed. You are the future leadership of the Alliance. Do me proud. Give the program your all, and do yourselves proud!"

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For the first time since her exposure to eezo, Shepard found herself the youngest member of an accepting group of friends who didn't consider her a freak. She'd had acquaintances in her biotics training with other BEST students, but few of them had wanted to join the Alliance military, and they had all been utero exposures who manifested at puberty, so they had been younger than her by two or three years. The group in the current officer training class ranged in age from her eighteen years to a guy named Theodor 'Teddy' Madison, who was almost twenty-four. He had been at BAaTT when it was shut down in 2169 and had apparently taken time off in an attempt to get over what had occurred there. He had finally decided to join the Alliance military, but the entire class realized he hadn't gotten past his experiences at BAaTT during the Race Familiarization Training when he verbally assaulted the guest Turian instructor. After refusing to attend anger management counseling or issue an apology to the instructor, Madison was the first student to experience the reality of Hackett's warning of a short tenure, and before the first month was complete, the class already numbered one less.

The second student lost to the group weighed heavily on Shepard's soul; his name was Michael O'Donnell. Mike was nineteen, a happy go lucky guy who was always clowning around, and was Shepard's 'buddy' in training. They had a similar sense of humor, had both grown up as spacers and both liked weapons. They often talked late into the night, studied together, and both had planned to be normal soldiers until their biotic manifestations. Mike's parents were scientists, currently on a research vessel out in the Kepler Verge, so both Hannah and Karin treated him as a long-lost son, giving him a place to get away from training on short holidays and long weekends.

Shepard and O'Donnell were frequently training partners in biotics class and they were almost always together, leading to some interesting rumors. They scoffed at anyone hinting at more than friendship between them; that was one of the things that made them such great friends and so competitive in the class... there were no sexual overtones or distractions with their friendship and they were able to concentrate completely on the tasks at hand. Military life was fairly regimented, and as best friends, Samantha and Mike had settled into a comfortable routine. Every day started with an early morning run on the obstacle course, then showers, and then they would all meet again for breakfast before reporting to class. It was the Thursday before the long holiday weekend heralding Jon Grissom's roundtrip through the Charon Relay and everyone was in a good mood as their physical training began. They started the course with a soft jog to get warmed up, running over some low balance beams, the rope swing across the water and then navigated the hand rings before finally coming to the low wall. It took a team effort to get the first person to the top, and then they quickly pitched everyone over the wall. Shepard was the lightest of the group yet fairly tall, so she was the last one to go because she could jump up and clasp hands to be pulled over the easiest.

After a bit more running and then some low crawling under high barrier obstacles, they came to the high wall. It consisted of five different platforms with ropes and nets to climb and run across to navigate the various levels. Once on the top, a zip line fell off the far side, breaching the high wall and sending the students screaming down to the obstacle course finish line. Mike laughed as he scaled the first couple of nets like a monkey and quickly outpaced Shepard. She was laughing at his antics and shouting at him to wait up. He stopped on the second highest platform to wait on her and was joking around when he spun and smacked his forehead on a beam. Samantha watched in horror as Mike staggered back and fell backwards off the platform. She screamed his name while trying to call up a biotic lift, but she was tired and hadn't prepped her biotics at all so was trying to generate power from a cold start. It didn't work, and she ran towards him, completely helpless to break his fall, watching as a cloud of dust rose when he hit the ground. An instructor and a couple other students were at his side immediately and Shepard slid on her knees to his side merely seconds later, just in time to see the light fade from his eyes.

The instructor and other students ceased to exist, her world fading to nothing but Mike's face, shockingly devoid of any spark of life. Samantha stared at his face for some unknown period of time before the reality crashed in that Michael was truly dead; she spun to the side, attempting to scramble to her feet, but only managing to stumble off to the side, back to her knees, and she wretched in the bushes beside the trail. Samantha sat motionless and stared, unfocused, at the ground before her while guilt ran rampant through her mind; it was such a stupid thing, such a tragic consequence for a few seconds of inattention. You always watch out for your buddy, you don't go anywhere without them, you take care of them and they take care of you...only Shepard failed to take care of Mike on the obstacle course. She shouldn't have let him fool around on the high wall...she should have kept up with him and she should have kept him from falling. She hadn't been there when Mike had needed her most.

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Shepard had no recollection of how she got back to her dorm, but when her eyes focused again she found herself in familiar surroundings, sitting in the common room. What was unusual was the Captain standing in the room with her, his back to her as he stared out the window. Shepard immediately bolted to attention and croaked out, "Sorry Sir! Didn't see you come in, Sir!"

Captain Hackett started at the sudden voice behind him and turned to face the distraught cadet. He studied the young face before him and sighed at the stress written in the furrowed brow and shouting from the cloudy eyes that were finally focused back on the here and now. Her recovery was quicker than he had anticipated, based on the reports from the instructor who was on scene at the accident. Hackett knew this student was no stranger to death, which was the only reason he was waiting with her in the dorms instead of her being in the hospital under observation. It was a temporary solution, one he wanted to attend to personally, while her mother was enroute from the SSV Einstein. "Cadet Shepard. I assume you know why I'm here."

Shepard swallowed the bile in her throat and responded, "Yes, Sir." Hackett said nothing, just raised his eyebrows in expectation of more. Shepard cleared her throat and continued roughly, "I let my buddy down and now a cadet is dead, Sir."

Hackett shook his head. "This isn't your fault, Shepard. Sometimes things just happen. You've run that course every morning since you've been here. Each and every one of you is familiar with the course, all familiar with the obstacles... And the instructor reported you made repeated requests for Cadet O'Donnell to slow down and wait for you." An angry look flashed across Shepard's face, but as she opened her mouth to protest, Hackett cut her off and continued. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this was his fault, either. No one planned it, nobody expected it, no one caused it. It was an accident. It may not have been his fault, but it certainly wasn't yours." Hackett paused for a moment before continuing, "Please, have a seat." He moved to a chair close to Shepard and dropped into it unceremoniously, releasing a heavy sigh. Once Samantha dropped back onto the couch, he continued. "Death is a hard thing, and I know that you, unfortunately, are no stranger to it. I know about your father. He was a good man."

Shepard's eyes welled with tears which she blinked rapidly away, setting her jaw firm and refusing to give in to her emotions. Hackett nodded in recognition of the brave face she put forward as he continued. "Just so you know, we've contacted your mother and she's on her way." He paused, as if contemplating what he wanted to say next. "Your instructors told me you were particularly close with Cadet O'Donnell. You'll be excused from classes the rest of today, but you have a choice to make during the upcoming long weekend. It's not much time, but it's more than you would normally get under these circumstances, being a non-relative of the deceased. At any point in the first quarter, you can leave, and start again in the next year's class without any penalty, or you can stay and continue classes. I'm sorry if that seems cold, but that's one of the things about the military. We are expected to deal quickly with death and move on with the mission. We don't always have the luxury of stopping when a soldier next to us dies."

As Hackett paused, Shepard took advantage of the gap to speak. "Sir, Cadet O'Donnell and I were just friends. Great friends, but none the less, just friends. You may have heard there was more to it, but it was only rumor. Joining the Alliance is something I've wanted as long as I can remember, and Mike would be incredibly disappointed in me if I delayed that dream on account of him." She swallowed hard and pressed on, making eye contact with the Captain sitting across from her. "I'll take the weekend with my mom, but I'll be back in class on Tuesday, Sir."

Hackett rose as Shepard finished, seeing Hannah step through the doorway at the far side of the room. He spoke as he waved at Samantha to remain seated. "As you were, Cadet." He looked toward Hannah and spoke gently, "I'll leave your daughter in your very capable hands, Commander. Always a pleasure to see you; I only wish it were under better circumstances." He could see the concern on her face as he stopped to shake hands on the way out the door. His voice was nearly a whisper, "She's a strong one, Hannah. She'll be fine...You've raised quite a daughter." He nodded one last time to her and quickly took his leave, leaving mother and daughter alone in the common room.

Samantha rose from her seat when she heard Hackett greet her mother and turned to face her. Once the captain left the room, Samantha looked to her mother. "Commander."

Hannah slowly approached her daughter and took in her stature and the expression on her face. "Cadet. You look tired."

A twitch of a smile appeared on Samantha's face, "You look stressed."

"I have cause. I have you as a daughter."

"Yeah, well, I ..." Samantha's voice cracked and she stopped speaking for a moment as what little existed of a smile vanished and the normal banter died on her lips. Her voice dropped to a harsh whisper. "I let Mike down, Mom." Tears welled and she shook her head in disbelief and anger. "I wasn't there to catch him..."

Hannah immediately stepped forward and enveloped her daughter in a loving embrace. "I know, baby. I know." Hannah held Samantha close as her daughter finally let go and cried into her shoulder. "You and I are both well aware that sometimes things we don't want to happen just do... and we take from them what we can and press on. I heard what you said to Captain Hackett, about Mike wanting you to keep on, and I agree with you. He'd be angry if you quit now, because of what happened." Hannah pushed Samantha out to arms length, but kept a firm grip on her daughter's shoulders. "So, let's get your stuff for the weekend and head home, shall we?"

With a nod from Samantha, they headed out, arm-in-arm; each dealing in their own way with the loss of someone who had become an important part of their lives, comforted by the knowledge that no matter what else happened, they still had each other and they would continue on. After all, they were Shepards.


	8. Blaze of Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Special thanks go to fellow author Elizabeth Carter for permission to use her "echo game" from her Samantha Shepard 'Phoenix' series ('Rising from the Ashes' ch 13, if you want to find it).

**November 2172 - Arcturus Station**

Second quarter training revolved mostly around biotic generalized specialty orientation. No matter what specialty the student planned on selecting, the Alliance felt it was necessary for biotics to understand all the skill sets and know what advantages and limitations each brought to the fight.

Adepts were the ultimate biotics; wearing light armor and normally carrying only a pistol, they were masters of dark energy, leaning almost entirely on the raw strength of their biotic abilities to carry them through the fight, on both the offensive and defensive side of the battle. Adepts focused on the mid-range battle because their light armor made hand-to-hand dangerous and longer ranges limited biotics effectiveness. Adepts were generally responsible for controlling the pace of the battle by influencing enemy effectiveness via lifts, throws, singularities and stasis applications while protecting friendly forces with barriers. Of the three classes available, their skill set offered the widest application of pure biotic power.

While generally lacking the pure raw power of an Adept, Sentinels made up the difference by being more versatile, adding in tech skills to disable and track enemy forces, kinetic barriers to protect the team and advanced medical training to help heal team members as required. They generally focused on combat support, operated from the rear and wore light armor. They also utilized a pistol and brought critical electronics skills to the effort, improving chances of hacking security systems, door locks and other electronics. Sentinels also had the option to further specialize into offensive or defensive roles, becoming Bastions or Medics, depending on whether their talents fell along technical or medical lines.

Lastly was the Vanguard. More of a traditional soldier, Vanguards were known to be quick and brutal in their attacks. Definitely a frontline soldier, Vanguards utilized a wide range of weapons and armor, augmented by a full range of offensive biotic skills that allow the Vanguard to close quickly on an enemy. Specializing at short range and hand-to-hand combat, they are known for their high-risk, high-reward combat style. With her love of weapons, this was where Shepard wanted to be; she just couldn't see herself in the mid-range battle or in a support roll. She needed to be on the front lines, leading the charge. She was comfortable in the biotics training area, having spent the last three years already studying under Huntress Arlyna Sheya, so had no fear in her ability to master the skills required.

The first four months of their training had been focused on the basic mechanics of each of the biotic powers, first learning how to perform each skill, and then working on the intensity and duration of the effects. By the month of November, all of the students had the necessary proficiency to begin working strictly on the military applications of biotic power. The class started out working against still targets and then mechs, gradually progressing in the level of difficulty. They divided up into groups based on their preferred specialty; fourteen students wanted to be Adepts, eight wanted to be Sentinels and the remaining four, Shepard included, wanted to be Vanguards. The Adepts practiced against each other under the strict supervision of the instructors, breaking into pairs and taking turns working on various attacks and barriers. The Sentinels practiced their tech skills, attempting to hack an assortment of locks, electronics, turret controls and mechs, and also practiced their battlefield first aid skills on various medical dummies and any students who happened to be injured during training.

The Vanguards ran a different training scenario; their training was limited to dummies because of the high risk of injury and the high cost of replacing all the mechs that would be destroyed. The instructors did tell them, however, they could face live targets during portions of the testing and selection phase. That caused consternation among two of the four, complaining it was unfair that the first time they faced a particular enemy would be at their test. Shepard rolled her eyes, knowing the huntresses' reactions to such statements would be far from favorable, and she was not surprised when Niria Phessi stepped forward, glowering at their small group. The huntress glared at them, speaking in a serious tone, "So you expect the enemy to inform you what they will bring to bear against you, before they do so? The Vanguard by nature is high risk. If you are not willing to accept it, then you have chosen the wrong specialty."

The two grumbled between themselves, but made no additional spoken complaints. The other potential Vanguard, Bobby Stone, cast a sidelong glance at Shepard, grinning and with a twinkle in his eye. He knew the pseudo-reprimand was coming as well, but also knew those two in particular had complained at nearly every stage of training throughout the course of the class, so didn't expect anything to change now. Shepard flashed a grin in response, and they headed to the far side of the room to start their new individual training regimens. As the month passed, Stone and Shepard became good friends, always selecting adjacent training booths and talking during rest periods, swapping tips and hints they got from the instructors as they practiced. Shepard discovered Stone's father and grandfather had both fought in the first contact war, and Bobby wanted to follow the family tradition of being a front line soldier. Shepard understood that motivation quite well, but still wondered about his true capacity to kill an enemy. Shepard's experiences had given her a core rage that she could rely on, a deep anger that could be released as necessary to not only defend herself, but to take another's life in an offensive capacity at the mere thought these people would want to hurt someone close to her. Her life experiences had turned her into a natural protector. Bobby had never experienced such a close and personal loss and still possessed a more gentle soul, and Shepard privately wondered if he had it in him to actually kill anyone. Regardless, they trained side-by-side in preparation for testing day, and when it came they would be either ready or not, and their futures in the Alliance would be decided one way or another.

**December 2172 - Specialty Qualification and Selection**

The next few days would determine whether or not Shepard could pursue her chosen career path in the Alliance; though every instinct told her she should be nervous, Shepard just plain wasn't. The students had been told the selection panel was made up of three Alliance Navy biotics and three Alliance Marine commanders, whose sole purpose was to evaluate each student's potential in their preferred specialty and either concur with the choice or recommend another path they felt the student should pursue based on their skill set strengths. Being relatively small in stature for a Vanguard, Shepard knew she faced an uphill battle to convince the three big burly Marines she was cut out to be a front line soldier. She had the distinct advantage of having trained under the huntresses for three years, and not just in biotics. She had also been taught meditation and concentration techniques and various forms of martial arts, excellent for hand-to-hand and melee confrontations; forms the Alliance testers were not familiar with, and she planned to use those skills to her advantage.

The generic skills testing began with the students on a range, going against sensors that scored the accuracy and strength of each attack, methodically progressing through every offensive skill. A sensor would pop up and the student would have to react with the designated maneuver within a certain period of time before the target disappeared. After a very short standardized recovery period, the next sensor would pop up and the student had to again attack the target with the next selected offensive skill. After running the gambit of all the established offensive maneuvers, the pattern repeated for a total of three cycles, each cycle having less recovery time between skills, purposely intended to run the students to their point of failure, to establish their level of endurance. The same type of repeat testing was then completed for defensive skills to test the strength and durability of their barriers. Since each test worked the students to the point of exhaustion, each test consumed an entire day, after which they were allowed to eat and sleep, to resume the testing the next day after the students had the chance to fully recover.

The third day began the specific specialty testing. Captain Hackett was present and addressed the group before they got started. Every eye was on him as he walked to the front of the room and turned to address the students. He clasped his hands behind his back, and his head was down in contemplation as he began. "Now that your general skills testing and grading is complete, today begins your specialty testing. Some of you may not end up in the specialty you desire, but do not consider this a failure. Our goal here today is to merge hopes with reality. We will not force you to another specialty just because we think you could perform another better; we will only recommend you consider the one for which we feel you may be better suited. The final choice remains yours. As long as the panel feels you have the capacity to succeed in the career path you have selected, you will be awarded that specialty."

Hackett's head came up and he looked over each student before he continued, "However, you also need to realize our mission in general is to protect Alliance interests, and it is in the Alliance's interest, as well as your own, to keep each and every one of you alive and battle worthy. To that end, if we feel you are truly not suited to perform the specialty you initially selected, your choice will be removed and we will direct you to another career path. At that point, you will have two options; either you accept our judgment and train in this alternate specialty, or we will release you from any obligation and you walk away free and clear. At the end of the week, should you choose to walk, you forfeit any opportunity to ever serve in the Alliance military; you will not be allowed to return."

Hackett strolled amongst the students, looking at each of them in turn. "Today and tomorrow, you will be tested. Once testing is complete, you will all be counseled individually, in private, in alphabetical order. You will then have until the end of Friday to decide what you want to do. Speak with whomever you wish to speak with and ask whatever questions you want to ask, but you must render your decision to the panel before 1600 hours on Friday. At that time, if you plan to stay, you will sign a service commitment contract for a minimum of five years. If you decide to leave, you have until lights-out on Sunday to turn in all your gear and vacate the dormitory." Hackett returned to the front of the room and looked over the twenty six students once more. "The testing times were drawn randomly; the complete schedule is posted on the announcement board. Good luck to all of you." With that, Hackett turned and went to speak to the panel members while the students scrambled to figure out when they had to test.

Just like every other student, Shepard went immediately to the announcement board to look over the test times; they were thirty minute blocks, the first test of the day was at 0900 hours, the last started at 1730 hours. As soon as she found her name, Shepard groaned. She had hoped she didn't end up going first, but she hadn't wanted to go last either, and that was where she ended up, not until 1230 hours the next day. _Crap! Twenty-sixth in the line-up!_ She noticed Bobby would be testing fourteenth, at 1530 hours, so she grabbed him and asked if he wanted to practice any moves in particular. Typical Bobby, he just laughed, saying if he didn't have the skills to at least demonstrate potential, he never would, and he would rather enter the test rested.

Shepard smiled at her friend, gripped his hand and wished him luck before turning and heading out to the training rooms. It was still early, so she knew the first-year students would be there until 1000 hours, but figured Arlyna wouldn't mind if she sat in the corner meditating until the class cleared out. After meditation, her plan was to run through all the basic control exercises and then see if she could get Arlyna to run a round of the Echo Game for her. The morning didn't go quite as predicted; Arlyna took the opportunity to demonstrate the game to the new students and Shepard immediately found herself in the center of spacious dual rings of twelve drums each, one circle inside the other. In the inner circle, each drum was suspended in the air by a narrow pole that towered just over two meters. The outer circle of drums resembled Japanese taiko drums, each with a student ready to play it as a distraction to whoever was attempting the echo game challenge. Arlyna had described the challenge to the students and instructed them on their part as a diversion. Arlyna stood between two drums on the inner circle with a bowl of dried beans and Shepard stood in the center of the circle, blindfolded.

Arlyna would start the game by flicking a single bean at one of the drums, after which Shepard would be required to locate and strike the drum with a very mild biotic pulse, echoing the sound of the bean. Each successive turn, the number of beans would increase and the number of drums each bean would strike before dropping to the floor could also increase. A player's skill was built up over time, first learning to accomplish the feat blindfolded, then eventually establishing the ability to focus well enough to discern the difference between the echo drums and the taiko drums to correctly follow the pattern of the echoes. The skills learned made a warrior able to continue a fight blind, unimpeded by smoke, haze, heavy gunfire and even tactical cloaks, by relying on sound, not sight.

Arlyna asked Shepard if she was ready and the student turned toward the instructor's voice and touched her right-hand finger tips to her forehead before she lowered her hand out flat, palm up, in the Asari salute of respect. Shepard then assumed a battle-ready stance, and with a quick nod to Arlyna the game began. The huntress took a single bean from the bowl and flicked it at a drum, resulting in a dull thud as it bounced off the face of the drum and hit the floor. Shepard spun and sent a pulse to the drum, successfully echoing the bean. Arlyna picked up two beans and, using her biotics, bounced each off of two drums as a single student started to also drum on the taiko drums. Shepard's focus was unbroken and she successfully copied the four echo drumbeats. Each round added more beans, more strikes, and more students drumming the taiko drums from the sides, with Shepard spinning, tumbling and doing backflips as necessary to successfully keep track of the proper sequence of echoes. Shepard's focus remained unbroken until the beans numbered an even dozen, with thirty-six strikes. When Shepard stumbled and missed a drum during the last round, she stopped and removed her blindfold, turning toward her instructor and saluting once again. She bowed her head and waited for permission to break the circle.

The huntress looked proudly around the circle at the amazed expressions of the first-year students as she spoke, "Cadet Shepard has studied biotics and meditation with me for just shy of four years, and this is the result. Do not think any lesser of yourself because you are not a natural born biotic...the only limits you face are those that you impose upon yourself." She then looked to Shepard. "Thank you, _sim're_ , for an excellent demonstration. That was your highest count yet to date. The basic skills testing has you very well focused and I have every confidence you will do well on your specialty selection exam. When do you test?"

Shepard raised her head, smiling at the praise. "Thank you, _ai'a me_. I don't test until last, at 12:30 tomorrow afternoon." Her smile faltered as she continued, "I had really hoped to test today and be done with it."

Arlyna cast Shepard a gentle smile and then dismissed her first-year students for the day. She looked to Shepard and held her hand out in invitation. "Come, young one. Let us go get some tea and talk. I believe more than meditation or training, you need distraction."

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Shepard stood ready on the testing floor after selecting a shotgun and heavy pistol as her standard weapons, along with her omnitool; the panel of six sat above her on an observation deck outside the edge of the arena awaiting her signal of readiness to begin. She had received her gear and instructions for the test and had been somewhat surprised. The instructions had been amazingly simple, yet amazingly vague at the same time. "You are an Alliance Vanguard facing rogue defense mechs. Do what needs to be done." Shepard hesitated only momentarily before punching the start button under the viewing platform with her fist, then moving quickly to cover. She thought about the Sentinel test; they were probably expected to hack the mechs and shut them down, but Shepard was a Vanguard, so the reasonable assumption was she should destroy them. Her ruminations about Sentinels and Vanguards vanished when she heard a door open somewhere in front of her.

She peeked around the corner and saw only two security mechs with standard issue pistols. Calling on her biotics, she lit up blue and vanished in a charge of biotic power before they had a chance to separate, careening into the first mech and smashing it into oblivion. At the same time, she pulled up her shotgun and quickly dispatched the second mech with a headshot. She immediately rolled to a ready position as a synthesized voice came over her radio, "Intruder detected. Security mechs deployed to zone three."

Shortly after the announcement, Shepard heard doors on each side of the room open so she quickly worked her way to the left side where she had heard the first mechanical footfall. She was rewarded by a mech stepping around the corner as it raised its pistol. Before it got a shot off, Shepard had destroyed it with a second headshot and she rolled around the barricade with her biotics ready. A second mech had entered but it hadn't yet even turned to face her when she warped it into the wall. Moving quickly, she crossed the center aisle and glanced across the room, trying to locate the mechs that had entered from the other side of the room. Failing to locate them visually, she moved carefully to a more central position along the right-hand wall and froze, gently closing her eyes and concentrating on sound. The mechs weren't moving forward, but she could hear servos spinning, like they were turning their heads trying to locate her. All the obstacles in the arena prevented her from pinpointing exactly where they were, but the servo noise gave her a very good indication as to their general direction. Knowing where they entered the room and the direction they had headed, it was easy enough to circle around behind them and blast them from behind.

As she moved back to cover once again toward the left-hand wall expecting more mechs, one of the panel members spoke into the comm. "Cadet Shepard. You must now exit the room at the door opposite where you came in. You must penetrate a defended pirate safe house and take out the pirate captain on the second floor."

Shepard slowly worked her way to the door, carefully tapping the entry pad and then stepping to the side so she was covered as it opened. She peeked in around the corner and a sniper shot pinged off her shield, dropping it to half strength, but not before she got a look in the room and saw something she didn't really expect... people. _Live people, not mechs!_ Shepard stalled for time to allow her shields to rebuild and tapped her comm, speaking quietly, "Sir, request verification of orders to terminate targets?"

Shepard drew in a quick breath between her teeth when she heard the response. "Affirmative, Vanguard. They are pirates. Terminate with extreme prejudice."

_So be it. Hope I'm not charged with murder when this is over..._ "Roger that, Sir."

To prepare herself, Shepard thought about her father and then pictured the two guards before her in Cerberus armor. Shepard called up her biotics and charged all the way to the safe house door, closing on the two outside guards quickly while cutting the angle so the sniper couldn't pin her down anywhere along the way. She smashed into the first guard, sending him flying, then turned and quickly blasted the second with her shotgun. They were both heavily shielded, so neither died on first contact. She promptly dropped down and leg-swept the guard who was staggered from the shotgun blast, swiftly ripping her omniblade across his exposed throat to finish him off, saving her biotics for her next strike. She spun around to locate her charge victim and caught motion over her head with her peripheral vision. She hastily cast a biotic throw above her head, yanking the exposed sniper out of the window and tossing him across the field into a barricade. Her eyes snapped back to her original target just in time to see his SMG coming to bear right at her chest plate; she hit the ground rolling and closed the distance, pegging him in the chest with her shotgun before he laid enough firepower on her shield to make it drop.

As the last outside guard fell, Shepard confiscated two flash-bang grenades from his ammo belt, then continued past him along the wall to the next window and peeked inside. There was no one left on the ground floor, so she circled to the back door and crept inside, moving cautiously to the stairwell. She glanced up the stairs and saw nothing as far as the corner, so she started up slowly, moving as quietly as she could and calling up her biotics, fully expecting someone to pop around the corner when she got halfway up. Surprisingly, nothing happened until she reached the corner, when a flash-bang rolled down the steps and stopped on the corner landing. Shepard didn't hesitate; she lunged and grabbed the grenade, lobbing it quickly back up the steps while closing her eyes as tightly as she possibly could. Even so, she saw the bright flash through her eyelids, but at least it didn't temporarily blind her. The explosion in the closed hallway made her ears ring, so she wouldn't be relying on sound to tip her off any time in the near future, most likely for the remainder of her test. It seemed to her the thirty minute block should be up, but she knew that five minutes in any stressful situation could seem like an eternity; she didn't want to think how long thirty minutes in a firefight would seem.

Regardless of the time remaining, Shepard was determined to finish the mission. She leaned around the corner and saw nothing; she raised her shotgun and crept up the steps to the next landing. When she arrived, she realized she was at the top of the steps with a blind corner that opened to a back room. She edged over and peered around the corner and saw two large barricades, one on each sided of the hallway, with a guard atop each. She figured the pirate captain had a personal guard, and must be somewhere farther back in the room. She set her shotgun on the floor within easy reach and pulled out her heavy pistol. Reaching out with a biotic lift, she grabbed one of the guards and picked him completely above the barricade, easily killing him with a heavy pistol shot to the head. The second guard immediately hunkered down where Shepard couldn't see him, and hence couldn't grab him with biotics. She holstered her pistol and rolled one of her stolen flash-bangs down the hall; the second it exploded, she grabbed her shotgun and charged up to the barricade, stopping just short of ramming into it. The guard was very surprised when instead of shooting him, she reached around the barricade and biotically yanked him off his perch onto the floor, promptly crushing his windpipe with an elbow thrust.

After peeking around the corner, Shepard prepped her biotics for one last charge. The pirate captain was huge and there was no doubt she was going to have to hit him hard and fast to have any chance of taking him down; her only chance was to hit him first and give him no chance to recover. She threw her last flash-bang into the room at his feet, flipped the visor on her armor to max dark and charged the second she saw the captain start to dodge. Everything was in motion at once. The flash-bang exploded as the captain tried to dive off to the side. His large bulk was already in motion, so when Shepard hit him at max charge velocity, he practically ricocheted off the wall. Using her entire reserve for the super-charge, Shepard held nothing back for shields; it had been an all or nothing gambit. As soon as the captain hit the floor, Shepard blasted him with her shotgun, the first shot gone before the blaze even died from the flash-bang. She fired her shotgun as fast as it would fire, until it was empty. Many long moments later, he was dead and Shepard's world dissolved around her.

She looked around, somewhat stunned, quickly realizing the entire time she had been in a damn simulator. She breathed a huge sigh of relief, confirming in her mind that she had not really killed anyone just for the sake of a test, but knowing in her heart she could have done so had a real-world mission asked it of her. Her ears were still ringing, making it somewhat difficult to hear, but she managed to make out from the seemingly garbled transmission in her headset that she was supposed to return through the door to the training arena.

\-------------------------------

Shepard's turn for her evaluation came around relatively quickly, even though she was late in the alphabet; she figured it was a good thing, because it told her the evaluations were mostly quick and painless. The one notable exception had been one of the four Vanguard testers, a guy named Jack Valley, one of the grumblers. When the counselor in the individual session advised him he needed to change his specialty selection and the panel recommended a Sentinel Bastion position, he exploded in anger and had to be forcibly removed from the room when he was crazy enough to try to attack the evaluator. When Shepard stepped into the room, she was met by one of the three big burly marines, who stood as she entered and offered his hand, introducing himself as Major Stevenson. She was surprised at the casualness of the big man's approach, but calmly stepped forward and shook his hand as he said his hellos and asked her to take a seat.

He sat back down on his chair and placed his elbows on his desk, his hands steepled before him, one hand wrapped inside the other as he started to speak. "Cadet Shepard. I requested to be the one to provide your debrief, and I did so for a couple of reasons. First off, I didn't believe you had the stature or strength to do the job of a Vanguard, and openly told the others so before your test even began." He saw the look of incredulity on Shepard's face and grinned. "Yup. I did, but don't get angry at me. I'm very willing to admit when I make a mistake, which is what I'm doing now, as well as apologizing to you for prejudging your abilities. I've either worked with or personally evaluated every Vanguard to come through Alliance training for the last eight years, and I'm here to tell you, you have the potential to be the best damn Vanguard I've ever seen. Hell, you'd be better than a third of those I have in the field if you were to graduate right now, and you haven't even started your real specialty training yet." He paused for a moment, watching the smile grow on the cadet's face. "Any questions on my first reason for wanting to talk to you?"

Shepard sat quiet for a second, trying to decide just how bold she wanted to be, when curiosity got the better of her and she spit her question out. "Yes, Sir. After watching me for less than ten hours, spread out over three days, what makes you say that I'm the best?"

The major barked out a loud, hard laugh before he answered. "For that, right there! Most would just say 'thank you' and move on. But you? Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead...you're fucking fearless, Shepard. Maybe because you've got the stick to back it up, because you're also smart, resourceful, and a hell of a biotic. You could have easily gone pure adept and been the strongest of the class, but you didn't. You picked a specialty that was going to put you on the front line, jumping with both feet straight into the fray." He shook his head and laughed some more. "We picked the biggest, baddest character model in the sim for that damn pirate captain. Most people are so scared of him they sit back and chisel at his shields until their time or their ammo runs out. Some manage to get his shields down and then die on the charge because they don't have enough biotics left to do any real damage. You? You fucking did an all or nothing charge straight down the gauntlet, right into the mouth of the beast... and pulled it off! In ten years, only a handful of people have ever beaten 'the captain,' and none have ever made it look so fracking easy. You made me eat some serious crow from the other panel members."

After a brief pause to let Shepard absorb what he said, and to see if she had any more questions, the major continued. "Reason number two for me wanting to do your eval? I want to hire you. You're good now and by the time you get done with training, you're going to be downright deadly. I work in First Fleet on the SSV Leipzig; I command the Rapid Response Team. If shit goes down anywhere in Alliance space, except for the unlucky bastard who happens to already be sitting there, we're the first into the zone, the first unit to put boots on the ground. We need people like you. When you graduate in six months at the top of your class, a lot of folks are going to ask for you. They'll come courting with fancy promises of great training opportunities and maybe even a few bribes. I'm not giving you any of that. I'm offering an honest job with real danger, straight to the front line of the next fight we find ourselves in. If that's what you want, you pick the First Fleet RRT. That's all I got for ya." The major stood up and walked toward the door.

Shepard stood to follow him, but he suddenly pulled up short and looked back at her, his face turning a little red. "Oh, yeah. One more thing. You got selected as a Vanguard by the way. So, you can stay and train as one or you can walk away free and clear, seeing as you have no commitment yet."

Shepard laughed and stuck out her hand to the major. As they shook, he was smiling. She grinned and started to speak, "Sir, I accept your offer to be a Vanguard, and I'll be in first thing in the morning to sign my contract. I'll also give serious consideration to your offer to join First Fleet, but that's six months down the road. I jump when it's time to jump. A lot can change between now and then, and jumping early or late can get you killed. I'll wait for the right time to make that call."

Stevenson laughed and clapped her on the back as she left. "Either way, Cadet, I'm sure I'll see you at graduation in June."

When it was all said and done, the class finished with thirteen Adepts, ten Sentinels, and only two Vanguards; after the incident with Cadet Valley, the panel met with Captain Hackett and they reconsidered their opinion...not about Valley being a Vanguard, but to declare him non-suitable for military service; he was told to hit the road, as he was not Alliance material. Comparatively speaking, everyone else's session was quiet and quick. A few Sentinels and Adepts had traded places and the second Vanguard who didn't pass his test was Bobby; he ended up as a Sentinel. It turned out he just didn't have it in him to take a human life, so he had to move to a support role and he opted for the medical track. The twenty five remaining students were all happy to have made the grade, had all signed their commitment contracts, and would all be back in class the following Monday to start their specialized training. Considering what Major Stevenson had told her, Shepard could hardly wait.


	9. Welcome to the Real World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really long for a 'QuickShot' but I got started and it just took on a life of its own. I couldn't stop the runaway train. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> RRT - Rapid Response Team  
> FTL - Faster Than Light travel  
> FNG - F***ing New Guy

**September 2173 - SSV Leipzig, First Fleet**

Shepard had just finished her work out and was digging her shower gear out of her locker when a wadded up towel smacked her on the back of the head. "Hey loser. Have a good workout?"

Shepard jumped up and quickly twisted the damp towel, attempting to snap the antagonist, but her squad leader, Marine Captain Sharon Culver, had already stepped out of reach, laughing. "Gotta be faster than that, Shepard!" She quit laughing and her eyes got big when a ball of blue energy suddenly enveloped her and her feet left the deck...

Shepard liked the captain; she had met Culver a few months prior, after she took Major Stevenson up on his offer and joined the RRT on the SSV Leipzig. As soon as Shepard had graduated in June, the Major had immediately assigned her to Culver's squad; the squad's last Vanguard had been killed on a mission chasing pirates in the Terminus and Stevenson was overjoyed to get Shepard as the replacement. Since then, however, Shepard had received multiple lessons in frustration; primarily because the squad had gotten along well with the guy who held the job previously and as of yet didn't trust the newbie straight from school. What few missions they had been assigned, by the time they arrived on site, the pirates or slavers were on their way off planet, so the ground team saw nothing but the taillights, meaning they had yet to see how Shepard performed in the field. It didn't matter how many times she hit the bull's-eyes on the range, how much weight she could push on the machines, or even how many rounds she won against her squad mates in the hand-to-hand arena... until they saw how she performed under the baptism of fire, she was still the FNG... As the FNG, she got thrown all the crap details, all the gopher jobs, all the extra security and escort duties assigned to the squad. As far as Shepard was concerned, being the FNG in a squad on the Leipzig was as bad as being back in basic training.

Shepard strolled over to where the captain was floating in her lift, reached in and grabbed her ankle. Culver's eyes narrowed and she growled, "Don't you dare!"

Shepard grinned wickedly and gave the captain's ankle an upward tug, setting Culver into an uncontrolled spin, smirking as the good captain started to cuss her out. "God damn it, Shepard! Let me down!" After a few fairly quick rotations, Culver started to plead, "Oh God! Shepard! Stop! I'm gonna puke!"

Finally feeling sorry for her team lead, and figuring she was probably in enough trouble, Shepard reached in and grabbed a foot, stopped the rotation and gently pushed the captain's feet toward the floor. Once Culver was floating upright, Shepard released the lift and caught the dizzy Marine, keeping her from falling over. Culver wobbled weakly over to a bench and plopped down, almost missing the seat. She put her head in her hands and grumbled, "Damn it. It's been too long since I've done zero-G training. I should put you on mid-watch for that, Ensign."

Shepard shrugged indifferently, "Already am, ma'am."

"Fine. Then I'll put you in dress blues and make you escort the damn Admiral's tour next week."

Shepard grimaced, "Yeah, I'm already doing that, too."

Culver's eyes narrowed again as she grumped at the ensign, looking for some way to get even. "Dining hall clean up with the Mess Sergeant?"

Shepard gave up and sat down on the bench next to Culver, looking glum as she answered again, "Doing that as well, Captain."

Culver's brow furrowed in thought for a few moments before she asked, "Is there any detail you _don't_ have right now?"

Shepard's eyes fell to the floor, hoping the captain wouldn't see the disappointment in her face, while at the same time dreading the assignment of yet another detail. "I don't have to run the trash compactor and recyclers this week."

Culver looked puzzled. "Alpha squad doesn't have that this month..."

Shepard shrugged, "I know. That's why I don't have it...yet...ma'am."

The captain's face got serious. "You telling me you're doing every additional duty the squad is assigned right now?" After a short silence, the captain growled, "Ensign, answer the question."

Shepard sighed before answering quietly, "Yes, ma'am."

Culver abruptly stood up. "Well, shit. How long's that been going on?"

Shepard stood when the captain did, and renewed eye contact to answer the question, hearing something new in Culver's voice...disappointment? Displeasure? Regret? "I'm the FNG. Ever since I completed my in-processing, ma'am."

Culver was standing straight up now, her eyes focused intensely on her young ensign. "How much sleep are you getting a night?"

Shepard wrinkled her face as if in distaste, "Three, maybe four hours, depending on the day."

"And you just suspended me in a solid three-minute lift, after a full squad workout. For fun. Like it was nothing." Culver shook her head. "Fuck, Shepard. That's pretty incredible."

Shepard just shook her head, ignoring the praise. "Can I hit the showers, ma'am? I've only got an hour to get cleaned up and get chow before I have mess duty."

Culver's eyes got wide, "Oh, shit. Yeah. Get outta here."

As Shepard collected her stuff and headed to the shower, Culver just watched her go. _That's one tough kid. Not a peep of complaint this whole time and the entire squad's been abusing the shit out of her for over three months. Time for me to take a personal interest in the additional duty roster._

Shepard was relieved of mid-watch that night by one of her squad mates and got the best continuous eight hours of sleep she'd gotten in what seemed like forever. Things were better after that; the captain set up a rotational additional duty roster where everyone took a fair turn, including both the FNG and the squad captain.

**December 2173 - SSV Leipzig, First Fleet**

The day after Christmas, the squad got a call; pirates had attacked Arvuna in the Caleston Rift. The moon was colonized in 2160; the population was spread out over several well-shielded colonies, and had grown to nearly 500,000 folks. Because of its size, they actually had a decent civil defense force, so First Fleet figured they finally had a decent chance at intercepting the pirates that had been plaguing the outlying colonies for months.   The attack was still ongoing when the Rapid Response fleet dropped out of FTL and immediately incapacitated the pirate fleet. Major Stevenson had laid out the ground battle plan and completed the pre-mission briefing en-route, so as they broke atmosphere, the shuttle bay doors began to open and shuttles dropped like angry hornets from an irritated nest. While multiple squads were distributed throughout various settlements across the moon of Dranen, the major and his command team of twelve, along with squads Alpha and Delta, dropped into the colonial capital of Asa. The pirate force had breached the colonial defenses and was working its way through the city, so the RRT landed behind their rear lines and pinched them against Asa's defenders. Stevenson's team took the center, while Alpha and Delta split to flank opposite sides, forcing the pirates to fight on all four fronts.

Each squad had six members; two soldiers, two engineers, an infiltrator and a biotic. Alpha squad split to the left flank; Captain Culver was the infiltrator, so went wide left to some high ground and pulled out her sniper rifle, using the scope both to target the enemy as well as to assist in directing the ground forces. The two engineers, Marine Lieutenant Eva Schwartz and Navy Lieutenant Ricky Allen, formed the middle ranks, focusing on dropping enemy shields and disabling their weapons. Two Marine Sergeants, Michael Ridley and Patrick Lahm, formed the frontal attack line along with Shepard. They had been drilling and practicing together for six months, but this was the first real action they were seeing as a team. Shepard glanced at her front line compatriots, "You guys ready to rock 'n roll?"

They each flashed her a grin and Lahm responded, "Ready to see what ya got, ma'am. Rock it, and we got your back."

Shepard grinned, "Sweet. Try to keep up, boys!" She keyed her comm, "Alpha 6 going deep!" They jumped the wall and dived to the next cover, sitting there for mere seconds before Shepard selected her first set of targets, pulled on her biotics and charged into the fray. The pirates, up until that point, didn't realize anyone was behind them; that changed immediately when the first pirate launched forward, his neck broken from the strength of the biotic charge impact, and his buddy right next to him dropped dead of a close up shotgun blast to the center of his chest. As the pirates' rear lines recognized the threat, their shields started coming up, only to be dismayed when they flickered and died again, the Alliance techs already hacking them and shutting them down. Shepard docked her shotgun, pulled out her pistol and activated her omniblade before turning into a tornado of destruction. She slipped into a semi-meditative trance and called on her knowledge of Asari martial arts. With shields down, the average pirate didn't stand a chance as she swept through, unrelenting as a torrential rain. A quick lift followed by a short charge hardly used any of her biotic reserve, yet it killed the lifted enemy and tossed any others within a three meter radius to the ground, allowing Ridley and Lahm low-risk kills. The captain sat up high, picking off high-risk targets and providing guidance on general battle flow, with an occasional warning call when someone slipped the line or got back up when no one expected them to rise again.

The left side had almost completely collapsed when Shepard heard Culver cry out in pain. Tapping her comm, she queried, "Captain? Status?"

Getting no reply, she glanced over her shoulder but couldn't get a visual, so told Ridley she was breaking off to check on team lead. He nodded in acknowledgement, and Shepard turned and trotted off to a set of steps that climbed to the upper level. As she crested the top, she realized someone had slipped the line and Culver was in a hand-to-hand with a huge Turian. He was apparently an assassin in for a quiet kill; he had two long hooked blades instead of any guns, and Culver still had her sniper rifle in her hands. The assassin had gotten too close before Culver realized he was there; she hadn't had time to swap out weapons before the attack and ended up using her rifle as a shield and club. Time slowed to a crawl as Shepard pulled her biotics, and watched one of the assassin's long blades punch up though Culver's armor and bite deep into her side. Shepard saw the look of surprise and pain burst across the captain's face before the Vanguard turned into a bolt of blue lightening, blasting the Turian into oblivion.

She quickly dropped to her knees beside Culver's still form, jumping on the comm, "Alpha 2! Captain's down! Get your ass up on the wall!"

Allen looked at Schwartz and signaled her off, and Eva called back on the comm indicating she was on her way as she took off running. Shepard popped the seals on Culver's helmet, carefully removing it. The assassin's first stroke must have been a pommel to the comm attachment on the side of the helmet, which was why they only heard a single cry of pain...the captain's comms had been disabled by the blow. Then the fight had begun in earnest, leaving Culver in her current predicament. Shepard broke the seals on Culver's chestplate and removed it so she could get to the wound. Her guess was a perforated lung because Culver had blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Culver's eyes fluttered open and her face was etched with anguish. She drew in a wheezing breath and immediately gagged, choking on the blood in her airway. Shepard could see panic setting into her eyes, and gently rolled her up on her side to help clear the blood from her mouth. "Don't worry, Cap. We got ya. Eva's on her way."

Culver spasmed in pain, her hand searched madly for purchase of anything to hang onto. Shepard clasped forearms with her and felt the crushing grip pulse as waves of pain passed through the captain's body. It was obvious she was struggling to breathe. Eva slid up beside them and glanced quickly at Shepard. "I need you to roll her over or sit her up so I can get to the wound."

With a quick nod, Shepard changed positions and sat Culver up, pulling her into her own body to give the captain something ( _someone_ ) to lean against while not having to break the arm clasp and take away Culver's only mechanism to deal with her pain. She looked at Eva and whispered, "Check for poison. It was an assassin's Karambit blade. Good chance it was tainted."

"Shit. Good catch, Shepard." A quick sweep of her omnitool and Schwartz flipped her comm over to the fleet channel. "Leipzig medical, this is Engineer Swartz. Need a priority one medevac, my coordinates. We have a punctured and collapsed lung with a paralytic toxin. I have no counteragent on my person. I need the doc to come with the shuttle or we're gonna lose Alpha 1." After she received a response, Eva looked back to Shepard. "We've gotta keep it together for three minutes." Eva got to work cleaning and dressing the open wound while Shepard sat, holding the struggling Culver tight in her arms.

Culver coughed blood onto the front of Shepard's armor and groaned; her eyelids starting to flutter closed. Shepard squeezed her arm and hugged her tight across the shoulders. "Hey! Captain! I ran up here like a maniac to save your ass, no dying on me now." Culver's eyes closed completely and Shepard gave her another tight squeeze. "Sharon Culver, you wake your ass up and stay with me!" The eyelids didn't budge, but Shepard felt the grip on her forearm tighten just a bit; Culver was still fighting.

The medevac shuttle screamed in and Shepard lit up with biotics, lifting Culver and carrying her easily to the shuttle door, depositing her on the stretcher. While Eva tossed the captain's armor plates and helmet onto the deck, the doc immediately injected a fast-acting counteragent for the paralytic directly into Culver's carotid artery. Within moments, Culver drew a deep choking breath; as her eyes fluttered open again, Shepard looked directly into Culver's eyes and spoke again. "Oh Captain, my Captain, our fearful trip is done. The ship has weathered every rack; the prize we sought is won."

She saw recognition light Culver's eyes as the team lead quietly grunted out, "Shepard... you ass... captain ... dies ... that poem!"

Shepard started chuckling. "Who knew you'd recognize an old 1800's Walt Whitman poem! There's more to you than meets the eye, my Captain!" Shifting her attention to the doc, she said, "You take care of her now. We'll come check on her when we get back topside. Thanks, Doc!"

With a last squeeze of Culver's forearm and a quick wave to the Doc, Shepard stepped away from the shuttle, turned and ran to the assassin's body, made sure he was dead and collected his deadly blades. She then ran back to the remains of Alpha squad. As she fell back in line with her compatriots, she switched her comms back to the squad channel, announcing, "Cap's gonna be fine, but keep in mind we're now down our sniper. Let's finish this." With acknowledging nods from the team, they pressed forward and the battle raged on.

\-------------------------------

In the aftermath of the battle for Asa, Major Stevenson set up a planetary control center to coordinate retaking and recovery of all the settlements. Alpha and Delta squads both deployed forward to aid other settlements where the battles weren't going so well. Engineer Ricky Allen was the ranking officer after Culver, so he took over the Alpha team lead position, and at the end of the operation, provided the squad summary to Major Stevenson. It was shortly after Allen returned to the squad when Shepard got summoned to the command tent. Shepard stepped into the control center and saluted, "Ensign Shepard reporting as ordered, Sir!"

The major waved at Shepard to move closer to the table they were using as a planning map. "We had a pretty big fight on our hands today, and we made it look easy."

Shepard scoffed, "That's because they were a bunch of unorganized hooligans, sir. They had the manpower, but didn't have the training or discipline to readjust once their plan went to hell."

Stevenson looked at Shepard with an appraising eye before he continued, "You're right, of course, but we still had a good day. I got the report on Captain Culver; Allen, Schwartz and the doc all say your quick action and field assessment of her condition saved her life."

Shepard shrugged, "Just doing my job, sir."

Stevenson shook his head, "No, your job was to kill pirates. Your situational awareness got you off the line and on that wall to back up your captain. Without your actions, she'd be dead now. The doc submitted a recommendation for a Distinguished Service Medal, and I'm going to endorse it and forward it to Fleet."

Shepard's eyes got big. "But Sir, it's my first action! Everyone's already getting silly Colonial Defense Medals for breathing Asa air while we kicked the pirates' asses. What are folks gonna say when I get something like that my first time out?"

"Everybody's going to say what I knew six months ago, Ensign. You're going to be the best damn Vanguard in the Systems Alliance and you're going to make one hell of an officer." After a brief pause to let Shepard absorb what he said, the major continued. "I told you we need people like you. That's why I personally picked you for the First Fleet RRT. The DSM's a no-brainer. Now go catch up with the rest of Alpha squad at the shuttle pad. You guys are done and returning to the ship; your squad's waiting on you." When Shepard hesitated, he laughed. "Go. Check on your Captain." The major turned away, obviously dismissing her, and got on the radio, talking to a couple of squads finishing up at one of the other settlements and requesting transport back to base camp.

\-------------------------------

Once back on the Leipzig, Shepard went straight to the armory and removed her weapons and armor, cleaning everything and storing it all in her equipment locker, including a pair of decontaminated Karambit blades; she didn't need to be accidentally poisoning herself. She also found the captain's gear and cleaned it all up, asking the armory master to repair the damaged seam and store it for her, since Shepard had no access to Culver's locker. He happily obliged, seeing as he would have been the one to clean it for the captain anyway if Shepard hadn't volunteered to do it. By the time Shepard was done, she was dead on her feet. She swung by the mess and slammed an energy drink, knowing she needed to replace the calories and electrolytes from her biotics usage. She then grabbed a quick shower and happily slipped into some clean clothes before returning to the mess hall for a real meal. After sucking another fifteen hundred calories into her stomach, she almost felt full.

Knowing it was late, she slipped quietly into the medbay to talk with Doc Walker and check up on Culver. The minute she stepped in, she thought of Karin and the fact she hadn't talked to her in a while. _I've got to remedy that... tomorrow_. "Hey Doc. How's the captain doing?"

Walker smiled, "Good, thanks to you. A week of bed rest followed by another week of light duty and she'll be back in the game. Technically, it's after visiting hours, but you can go check up on her. Just keep it down and try not to stay too long."

Shepard hesitated. "Nah, I'll catch her tomorrow. I just wanted to hear from you how she was." As she started to turn to leave, Doc Walker reached out and gently grabbed her arm. "Shepard. Please stop in and see her. She's been asking about you since she woke up from her surgery."

Shepard's brow wrinkled. "Asking about me? Whatever for? She's the one that got the pig sticker wedged between her ribs..."

The Doc nodded knowingly. "Yes she was... and you're the one who got there in time to pull her ass out of the fire. She knows you saved her life today, Ensign. She just needs to see you, that's all. That's how it works sometimes. She needs to know... needs to see for herself that her savior came back ok, too."

Shepard was uncomfortable with the label of 'savior' but figured she could accommodate the captain's desire to see her; it wouldn't cost her anything but a small delay in getting to her rack. As she stepped toward the back of the med bay, the doc pulled a privacy curtain across the area, separating them from the rest of the bay. She approached the bed quietly, an uneasy feeling in her stomach as she looked down at the captain, suddenly looking extremely vulnerable out of uniform, with nothing on but a hospital gown. Culver's face held a serene expression that Shepard had never seen and without thinking, she reached down and gently ran her fingers through Culver's short-cropped black hair, gently stroking across her temple with the pad of her thumb. Culver's eyes crept open, and as their eyes met, Shepard had a soft blush on her face at having gotten caught caressing her face, but gave her a soft smile and spoke softly. "Hey, Captain. Heard you needed to see me. How do you feel?" She slowly started to withdraw her hand, now that the Captain was awake.

Before Shepard could make good on her escape, Culver reached out and caught her arm and blinked a couple of times, like she was trying to figure out exactly where she was and what was going on around her. She didn't release her hold as she whispered, "I'm glad you're here, Shepard. I... I wanted to thank you. For everything."

"Ah, no big deal. Just doing my job, Cap, and covering your ass." As usual, Shepard shrugged off the praise, embarrassed by the extra attention her actions brought.

Culver shook her head. "What is it with you and your inability to accept compliments? Quit denying it. You're front line, not rear guard...you sidestepped your job and came back to save my ass." The captain dropped her eyes as she finished, squeezing Shepard's arm as she spoke, "And more. You stuck around. Once Eva was there, you could've gone back to the line, but you didn't. You kept me connected. If you hadn't been there, I would have died in those three minutes, Shep. I was tired. I was scared. I couldn't breathe. But I could hear you... and I felt your grip...grounding me."

Shepard reached around with her free hand and dragged a chair over. She didn't know what it was, but she could sense the captain needed something from her tonight. Even though the Doc said to keep it short, she was obviously going to be here a while, so figured she might as well take a load off. They talked for quite some time, about lots of things, from battle and the concerns of mortality to Walt Whitman and Shepard's poor choice of poem. She smiled and chuckled softly. "Hey, it brought out a bit more of your fight, didn't it? Here I thought you were dying and you take your last breaths to chew me out for being an ass."

Sometime during the conversation, the forearm grip had slid down to a hand, and the two sat there talking softly with their fingers intertwined, not even thinking about it. Finally, the captain gave up, whispering softly. "I don't want to stop talking with you, but I'm tired, Shep." Their eyes met as she continued. "I think I'd like it if you came back for a bit tomorrow... and if you'd stay until I fall asleep?"

Shepard smiled again as she responded. "No sweat, Cap. I got no place to be. I'll be right here for you. As long as you need me."

Their fingers remained intertwined, and Culver's eyes slid closed. Shepard sat there for a bit, listening carefully, waiting for her captain's breathing to pick up that slow rhythmic tempo that indicated sleep. She too was exhausted and couldn't wait to hit the rack once the captain slipped away from consciousness.

After a while, the Doc peeked around the edge of the curtain and his lips twitched into a smile. After what he had seen and heard in the medevac, he'd had his suspicions the two might be together. The captain was clearly relaxed and in no pain, vitals strong and steady. What was more entertaining was the ensign who tried to dodge visiting to begin with; she sat slumped in the chair, her fingers intertwined with those of the patient, her chin resting on her chest, sound asleep.

**1 January 2174 - SSV Leipzig, First Fleet**

Over the week while the captain was on bed rest in the med bay, Shepard had visited her every day and they had unexpectedly developed a burgeoning friendship, beyond the norm of simple workmates. They had discovered they had much in common; more so than just liking big guns and blowing things up... they liked poetry, music, history. When the week was almost up, Shepard helped Culver relocate to her room on New Year's Eve, and as promised, returned the next morning to check on her. When Shepard heard Culver shout out, she tagged the door switch and bounced into the room, smiling. "Hey, Cap! Happy New Year! How we doing this morning?"

Culver grimaced. "I feel like shit. First night back in my own room and I slipped in the shower this morning; I didn't fall, but it still feels like I pulled something when I caught myself. Doc checked and says I didn't, but you can't convince me of that from the way my side hurts and my lung burns if I take too deep of a breath." She scowled as she continued, "I'm too damn young to have one of those nagging injuries that never heals."

Shepard smirked. "Hell of a way to start a new year, but that's what you get. You weren't even supposed to be up yet. You were supposed to come to your room and chill, one last day of bed rest before jumping up and doing stuff on your own. Your one week doesn't end until tonight. That's why I'm here... remember?"

Culver growled, "Watch it, Shepard. You're still the FNG in my book; I can rescind the rotation schedule I set up." She glared at the ensign, awaiting the snappy reply she felt was coming.

Shepard just laughed as she walked behind the captain and started gently massaging her shoulders. "Oh, give it a rest, Cap. You know if you did that I'd suddenly be too busy to come visit you, because I'd be back down to four hours of sleep a night. No time to keep you company if I have a schedule like that."

Culver's eyes were closed and her head drooped forward, reveling in the lovely pressure across her back and the base of her neck, additional duty rosters forgotten. "God, you're good at that, Shep. Any good at stretching lats? Gently?"

Shepard's eyes twinkled. "Oh, I can probably manage something without hurting you too bad. Come on. On the bed, face down." The captain got up from her desk chair and gingerly slid onto her bed, lying across the end so Shepard could reach easily. Shepard started out by working her hip and then her shoulder, before slowly rotating Culver's arm up over her head to fully extend the lat muscle running down her side. Shepard squatted near Culver's head and used long, slow, firm strokes to stretch the muscle slowly without tickling, also leaning over a bit to reach the thoracic muscles running down beside her spine. "Let me know if I press too hard and if anything at all starts to hurt."

All she got in response was a soft groan and a breathy "a-huh." Culver's weak response made Shepard realize just how physically close she was to the captain, and she had a strange jumpy feeling in her stomach and her heart fluttered uncontrolled for a moment. _Shit! What the hell is that? I've heard of butterflies, but why the fuck would I be feeling them now... with Culver?_ It suddenly dawned on Shepard that she had never had a boyfriend, and the realization that she was actually attracted to Culver smacked her square between the eyes. Shepard suddenly jerked back, realizing what had just happened, so caught up in the surge of unfamiliar emotion she didn't realize she spoke aloud. "Shit! What the hell am I doing? I... I've never done that!" She stood up quickly and turned away from Culver, her face unexpectedly aflame.

Culver chuckled at the expression she saw on Shepard's face before she turned away. "Never did what, Shepard? Gave a woman a massage?" She rolled over and sat up slowly, initially puzzled by what Shepard was so upset about. When Shepard turned back, she had no idea how to even begin to answer the captain's question. Culver recognized blind panic when she saw it and began to have an inkling about what was going on. She reached out and captured Shepard's wrist before she could bolt and gave the arm a gentle tug. "Come sit. Talk to me, Shep." She gave a second soft pull and Shepard finally moved, albeit slowly, to set next to her on the bed, but she maintained complete silence; her brain still struggling to grasp what was happening and to find words to express it.

Never having released her hold on Shepard's wrist, Culver pulled Shepard's hand over and set it on her own thigh, enclosing Shepard's hand with both of hers. Shepard didn't move; instead, she sat stiffly and stared at her own hand sitting on Culver's thigh almost like it had developed a mind of its own and betrayed her. After a moment, Culver started to speak softly. "It's ok, Shep. I've liked you for a while now, and this last week just cemented it in my head." She paused to make sure Shepard was actually listening to her, even though a look of apprehension was still hovering on the edges. "And here I thought you were fearless, both on and off the battlefield. Guess I read that completely wrong. You know I'd never hurt you, right? I'll never push you to do anything you don't want to... You trust me?"

Shepard still couldn't find her voice, but her eyes slowly came up and met Culver's. She swallowed hard and her head nodded slowly in the affirmative. Shepard blushed a deep crimson and she finally spoke; her voice starting out shaky but growing in strength and stability as she continued. "I'm almost twenty and I've never had a boyfriend... or a... girlfriend. I've never even kissed anybody... well, uhm... other than like my Mom, I mean."

Culver's jaw dropped in disbelief. "You. You've never kissed anybody. You're a freaking specimen of Athena, Goddess of War, and nobody has ever made any moves on you?" In her heart, Culver knew Shepard would never lie to her, but her mind had a really hard time believing the gorgeous woman before her had never been kissed. She barked out a laugh. "Only reason I can see is that you must have scared the shit out of 'em!"

Shepard went from embarrassed to ashamed as she continued. "I grew up a spacer. My mom's Alliance and my dad was killed when I was eleven, so I was moving all the time, jumping ship to ship. And then I became a biotic... and anyplace other than the military, biotics are freaks. I was lucky just to have friends, much less anybody who ever thought about wanting to kiss me."

Culver saw the pain in Shepard's face from the confession, and reached up to gently caress Shepard's cheek as she whispered. "Well then, their loss. I, on the other hand, would very much like to kiss you. Right here. Right now." She studied Shepard's reaction and saw a mix of trepidation and curiosity. "May I?"

Shepard's heart fluttered erratically and she felt like she couldn't breathe, but she nodded her head and spoke very softly as she leaned forward. "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

Culver's hand slipped from Shepard's cheek to wrap gently around the back of her neck. "That's ok. I'm happy to show you."

She pulled Shepard tenderly into the kiss, reveling in the softness of the Vanguard's mouth, the temerity and gentleness of Shepard's touch. After a couple of exploratory chaste contacts, Culver opened her kiss and ran her tongue across her partner's lips and was rewarded by a soft whimper of pleasure from Shepard.

For Shepard's part, the starting kisses were wonderful, but the minute Culver's tongue hit her lips, a rush of... _something_ ... coursed through her body and she felt a surge of warmth suddenly pool in her core, her stomach flipped and her whole body cried in pleasure, making her whimper incoherently. She opened her mouth to gasp for air and Culver's tongue slipped in quickly, running along her lips and starting a dance with her tongue that made Shepard's whole body quiver with unexpected delight.

Shepard suddenly realized just how enjoyable kissing could be. She still couldn't fully wrap her mind around the fact that it was with a woman, but assumed it was simply because she had never been exposed to any type of lesbian relationship, so it was foreign to her. As those thoughts ran rampant through her mind, she realized she was cheating herself out of fully enjoying her current activity with Culver. She could feel the heat rising as her face turned bright red. When Culver questioned her about the heavy blush, she stuttered her way through a brief explanation.

Culver busted out laughing, "God damn, Shep. You're so freaking adorable! I don't know if I want to hug you, kiss you, or ravage you all night long, starting right now!"

The first expression that flew across Shepard's face was shock at the word 'ravage' but she quickly realized Culver was kidding and started laughing herself. She began to relax and soon the trademark rakish grin was once again plastered on her face. Finally finding her feet back underneath her, Shepard regained her balance and some of her confidence. "Well. Now that the sexual tension is relieved, you want me to finish that massage I started?"

The next few months were bliss; Culver was an excellent lover and she was extremely patient and accommodating as she helped Shepard fully discover her newfound sexuality. Both women realized the arrangement was most likely short term, for a variety of reasons, the most prominent being they were both career military and fifty years of mostly separate assignments did not bode well for any type of sustainable future. Even so, they still had shared an event on Asa that bonded them forever together in ways they could not ignore. Because of that, both were willing to accept the truth of their inevitable separation while still enjoying moments of pleasure between the calls to war. They knew they wouldn't have a happily ever after, but they also knew they would forever be sisters-in-arms.

**1 April 2174 - SSV Leipzig, First Fleet**

Shepard rapped on the door and slid into the room once she heard the all clear. "Hey, Cap. You busy?" As the captain looked up, Shepard realized the expression was not good; something was wrong. She took a few steps and closed the distance between them, laying a hand gently on Culver's arm. With a furrowed brow, she queried, "What's the matter, Cap? What's wrong?"

The Alpha squad leader said nothing, just handed Shepard a datapad. Culver's silence was highly irregular and Shepard was almost afraid to read what was on the pad. _Please don't let anyone be missing or dead..._ She finally glanced down, and quickly realized it wasn't an accident notification of any kind. Her legs felt weak and she dropped herself onto the bed. "Shit. When do you actually leave?" Captain Sharon Culver had a new assignment and Shepard was holding a copy of her orders to the 3rd Frontier Division.

Culver sat on the bed next to Shepard before she spoke. "It's a really good job. I'll be promoted to Major and be a company commander over two hundred Marines, with three rifle and one heavy weapons platoons, in addition to my command element. 3rd Company, 3rd Frontier Division at Yamm in the Kalabsha system in the Nubian Expanse. The capital is Karnak and it has just over 400,000 folks." She let out a sigh. "I still wish it was an April Fool's joke, but it's not. I leave in thirty days." She glanced up and captured Shepard's eyes, immediately followed by her lips.

When the kiss finally broke, it was Shepard's turn to sigh. "Well, not like we didn't know it was coming sooner or later and haven't talked about it. Guess this is where we get to walk the talk, huh?" Shepard shook her head as Culver went to answer. "Rhetorical question. Don't answer that. That's what we get for jumping in with both feet to a known short-term relationship with two career minded women." She forced a smile and tackled Culver back onto the bed. "Well, as they say, we've made our bed, now we get to lie in it. At least for thirty more days, anyway." The forced smile quickly turned into her trademark raffish grin, accompanied by laughter. "I say we make the best of it."

Culver shook her head and laughed with her lover. "Shepard! You're incorrigible! But I agree with your assessment." She paused only briefly before returning for another kiss from her 'short-term' lover... Shepard did not complain when that kiss lasted, off and on amongst other activities, through most of the night.


	10. Beyond the Blitz

**2176 - SSV Agincourt, Petra Nebula, Vetus System**

Hanna Shepard smiled at her daughter as they finished up their conversation over the comm link. "So, are you going to be able to spend any time with Karin while you're on Elysium?"

Shepard laughed, "No. She's working, having to coordinate delivery of all the drugs and medical gear to the various clinics. I'm going down to Illyria with the guys in a bit. We've got four days off since we're just Jarheads and have no operational tasks right now. The pirates have been busy down here, so we've been hitting quite a few strongholds. We're due a rest."

Hanna blew her daughter a kiss. "I've got to run, Sam. Be careful down there. Say hello to Karin for me and give Culver my love next time you talk to her."

"Will do, Mom. 3rd Company's been hopping, keeping their commander really busy too. Last few times we've tried to touch base our schedules have been off. We've exchanged a few messages, but haven't talked in a couple of months. I'll drop her a text so I don't forget."

Shepard smiled and blew a kiss back before terminating the link. Glancing at her chrono, she stood up and stretched, threw a last couple items in her overnight bag, holstered her standard service pistol and headed for the shuttle.

\-------------------------------

The first night passed quickly with figuring out the layout of the city, getting checked in to a hotel and grabbing dinner, followed by a night of drinking at the bar. Now that it was daylight and the crew was up and about, enjoying their first full day off in Illyria, the capital of Elysium. It was a great city; it was a beautiful sunny summer day, and though it was a human colony, roughly half of the population was non-human so there was an incredible amount of cultural diversity. Astronaut Jon Grissom had retired on Elysium and Shepard had hoped maybe they'd get to meet him. However, circumstances did not agree; apparently the dedication of the Jon Grissom Academy space station was happening and every reporter on the planet was trying to get an interview with the poor man, so he was locked away in his home and refused to see anyone. Instead, the group had spent the morning shopping and then returned to the hotel to drop off their booty. They asked the hotel concierge about a good, inexpensive place to eat and he laughed. "Ah. You need to head down to Mack's on Second and Delta; it's all things Earth. You can get pizza or a burger and they sell a local microbrew so the beer is cheap, perfect for a couple of Lieutenants and Sergeants salaries. You'll love it."

The group looked around at one another and decided it was ok to give it a go. While they should have numbered six, the Captain had reports to finish and also wanted to buy and install some tech upgrades. Since he was an Engineer Operative, they figured they could give him some slack; anything he could find to juice up his barrier and shield overload functions were more than welcome. Their infiltrator was also missing, exuding her normal attitude of 'I work alone.' Whether she had simply not bothered to show up or she was shadowing them just for kicks to see how long it took the group to figure out she was there was inconsequential. No one in the group had the heart to tell her they just didn't care for her games and they had stopped looking after the first time she pulled her little stunt. That left Shepard, a baby lieutenant engineer fresh out of school named Tim Bilyeu, and two Sergeants, Sandy Mueller and Stu Humphries.

Shepard and her three squad mates plopped themselves down at an outdoor table and placed their orders. They had all gotten a burger of one type or another, even though none of them cared to guess what exactly the 'burger' was made of, but when the food arrived, they had to agree with the hotel concierge; the food was good and the beer was cheap so Mack's went to the top of the list of acceptable places to eat. They were just finishing up when they heard the roar of engines. The four of them looked up in unison and saw multiple craft entering the atmosphere at the same time. Knowing the port wasn't large enough to handle more than five large transports as a time, Shepard immediately felt a knot forming in her gut. She threw a credit chip on the table and directed the squad. "Something isn't right guys... let's move back to the port and see what's going on."

As they cleared the last line of buildings, Shepard got a good view of the hovering spacecraft and it was very evident who was landing. Shepard broke into a dead run as she yelled, "Fuckin' Pirates! Move it!"

Military presence on Elysium was very small, restricted mostly to customs inspectors, and was augmented by local civil defense forces for actual port security. The foursome ran to the port, and soon caught up to the civilian force captain in charge of defense. He was obviously surprised that he had actual military available, and he stared at them for a second before speaking. "Where the hell did you guys come from?"

Shepard rolled her eyes and questioned the man's competency. How did he not know the SSV London Cruiser Flotilla was on tour doing supply and anti-piracy runs, and more specifically, that the Agincourt was currently in orbit over his planet? He was supposed to be the Port Security Captain! Her frustration showed in her response as she yelled at the man, "Who the fuck cares where we came from? We're here! What do you need us to do?"

The captain looked bewildered. "All I've got is civilian police and a few customs agents. Just go to the front and start yelling orders, they'll listen to you!"

Shepard shook her head, "We're here on leave. The officers have service pistols, but our two Sergeants don't have anything. What have you got to spare?"

The captain ran them to the armory and broke open a weapons cabinet. He started handing over shotguns and clips. "Sorry. All we have are riot control weapons. No autos, semi-autos or heavy weapons."

Shepard took whatever he handed her. "Whatever you've got is better than our bare knuckles. We'll take 'em!" Redirecting her comments to the squad, she grimaced. "Let's go do what we do best, guys!"

As they charged to the front, Shepard quickly took stock of available forces and tried to organize a defensive line. There was a short watchtower at the town wall and she turned to her engineer. "Tim. Get your ass up in that tower to give yourself better line of sight. Work as fast as you can at overloading shields. With shotguns and small arms, we'll need all the help we can get taking down their defenses."

The troops consisted of civilian policemen and military customs agents, few of which had any front line battle experience. She quickly split the defense into two teams, sending Sandy to the left and Stu to the right. "You guys just need to exude confidence and help them hold the line. They need you to set the example so they know what the hell they should do and how they should act. We just gotta hold a defensive line until the Agincourt can get us more support from the Flotilla." She saw the questions in their eyes. "I don't know how long that will be, so just keep plugging. I'll float back and forth to provide support in the center seam and wherever it's needed most. My charge will let me move around fast, as required." A final glance between them and they were all off to their positions.

Fortunately, the attacking pirates were no different than anything Shepard had seen to date; they relied completely on fear and intimidation. They had no hard core experience or military style leadership, relying solely on overwhelming mass and firepower; still, the situation was daunting with the pirates outnumbering them three to one, and some of them carried heavy weapons. In contrast, the civil defense had some stun grenades in addition to standard arms, but that was it. Their very survival depended on receiving reinforcements, and despite what she told the troops, Shepard wasn't positive that was a given. Her hope was based on the SSV Agincourt surviving the initial assault to send a distress call. Based on what pirate vessels the Flotilla has seen so far in the Petra Nebula and what ships dropped through the atmosphere to deliver the invading force, she assumed the Agincourt would be able to defend herself, but she also knew assumptions could get you killed if you were wrong.

The pirates advance was relentless; for every one of them shot down, two stepped forward to take his or her place. They were obviously there to pillage, not take slaves, as they killed anything that crossed their path; loss of life did not concern them and more dead meant more people to pick clean of their possessions. Confident in their overwhelming force, bullets just sprayed the wall of defenders and heavy weapons were launched indiscriminately; the pirates didn't even bother to aim. As a Vanguard, Shepard wanted to be out in the front line. It chaffed at the very core of her being to hide behind a wall and play defense, but having no armor really limited her options.

The line broke to the right and she pulled on her biotics to charge down the line, crushing one of the pirates who broke through and blasting a second with her riot gun. Even a riot gun was lethal at close range. In a flash of inspiration, she told one of the customs officers to strip the armor off the dead pirates and give it to someone about the same size. "Damaged armor is better than no armor. The minute you get a female armor set, you find me!"

What followed was a massacre in every sense of the word. She was forced to watch the line slowly crumble as defender after defender went down to enemy fire. As time dragged by, Shepard watched the defenses get slowly dismantled, wave after wave of pirates hitting the line, the sheer numbers working against them. They scavenged armor from every pirate they killed, and now most of the defenders had at least a chest and back plate on but it didn't really matter, their numbers were dwindling fast. Still, Shepard was the epitome of a hardened leader; now with had a front and back plate, leggings and greaves she could function as a true Vanguard again. Back in her element, she pulled on her biotics to charge up and down the line, giving constant support to the troops, and personally reinforcing the line wherever it broke until someone could shift to fill the gap.

The first of her squad to fall was Tim, when a well placed explosive rocket took down the whole damn watch tower. The falling pieces injured a number of other defenders as well, a significant blow to their already dwindling numbers and left a significant hole in the line. She charged into the breach calling for additional help as she swapped out her shotgun for her pistol and her omniblade. The breach was too large and the pirates were coming too fast; the shotgun didn't have a quick enough fire rate to keep up with her needs. In spite of the inherent risk with so many enemies in close proximity, the situation was desperate so she slipped into a meditative battle trance and called on her Asari martial arts. She didn't need to _see_ the enemy, she could _sense_ them and countered their moves before they even really got started. Her motions turned to water as she flowed through the enemy; the pirates were completely unequipped to deal with the tsunami she became. In her private time dimension, the battle slowed and she moved through it with little resistance, cutting pirates down like paper targets. Lift. Charge. Explosion. Kill lingering survivors. Repeat!

Between the time when she called for reinforcements and when the gap was filled, Shepard had eliminated an uncountable number of pirates, by herself. As time returned to normal, she looked to assess the situation and realized Stu had also fallen as the pirates surged through the gap. She tapped her comm, "Sandy, we lost both Tim and Stu on the right with that last rocket attack, so I have to stay on this end to shore up the right flank."

"Damn it! I sure hope the London gets here soon with some help!" Sandy's response was broken by the discharge of a shotgun before she continued. "Not sure how much longer we're gonna hold."

Not sure if she was speaking the truth, Shepard said it anyway. "They'll be here."

The minute the breach was fully closed and their defensive perimeter fairly stable once more, a group of medics rolled in from the local hospital. As far as Shepard was concerned, they were the true heroes. No military training at all, yet there they were on the front lines trying to provide aid and keep the defenders standing. Shepard tried to brush them off, telling them to help others first, but one of them grabbed Shepard by the front of her armor, amidst her protests. "Ma'am! If you don't let me help you, you're going to bleed to death."

That got her attention and she knelt down and peeled her armor off. The one serious limitation to using the meditative battle trance; adrenalin and biotics scream so loud in the fight, it overpowers everything else, including pain. She didn't even realize she had sustained multiple gunshot wounds. The only thing that kept her on her feet was absolute force of will. The medic started working frantically and Shepard hissed repeatedly as he worked to remove bullets and squeezed medigel into her numerous wounds. She continued to scan the line, trying to ensure she didn't leave anyplace vulnerable while she was down. Eventually the medic waved something in front of her eyes to get her attention. "Drink this while I finish up. It'll give you back some of your energy."

Shepard focused on his hand and took the container, realizing it was a biotic electrolyte boost. She slammed it down as he put on the last of the necessary bindings and helped her get her armor back on. He offered his hand to help her get back up and once they were both standing, their eyes met one last time and a thousand words of fear, encouragement, hope and blind faith were exchanged in a glance. He made a fist and struck her once on the side of her shoulder; with a quick nod, he was off to help the next person.

The medic had actually been pretty efficient, and her prompt return to the battle was in time to see a second major breach of the defensive line. She charged back into the fray, biotics blazing and shotgun roaring, ending in frantic hand-to-hand combat. She couldn't afford to drop into a battle trance a second time because it made her too vulnerable with the sheer number of pirates now inside the wall. The number of dead and dying was appalling, the smell of blood and death so thick in the air she could taste it. The odds grew worse by the minute, yet Shepard fought on, refusing to give in. Just as survival of the colony looked impossible, the first military reinforcements showed on the horizon, and the pirates outside the wall began their retreat, realizing the cause was lost. Those inside were in a fight for their lives and any attempt at retreat would just get them killed, so the close-in battle raged until the last pirate fell.

Shepard glanced around in the sudden crushing silence and tapped her comm. "Sandy." Shepard's heart fell as she listened to the deafening quiet. "Sergeant Mueller." _Damn it._

Finally letting her biotics drop, Shepard collapsed to her knees in fatigue and surveyed the scene; she already knew her three squad members had perished, but all the military customs agents were also dead and the entire Elysium police force was reduced to roughly twenty members. The only good news out of the fiasco was that the millions of Elysium civilians were safe.

As she sat there waiting on the reinforcements to breach the wall and come to their aid, Shepard started to shake from exhaustion. She caught sight of an Alliance Navy commander and assumed he was leading the reinforcements. As he approaching her, she struggled to stand to greet him. She didn't get very far; having absolutely no fuel left in her tank, the minute she snapped into a brace position to salute, her world spun and she collapsed into darkness.

**2176 - SSV London, Petra Nebula, Vetus System**

Shepard awoke to a pounding headache, augmented by an insistent steady beeping in the background, both intrusive and annoying. As she cracked her eyes open she was assaulted by bright light that seemed to drill right through her eyes into her brain, so she reflexively slammed her eyes shut and issued a disgruntled groan. She tried to raise an arm to block the light, but her arms felt leaden and nonresponsive. She was tempted to go back to sleep but then she heard the voice; a voice that didn't belong on the medbay of the Agincourt.

"Welcome back, Lieutenant. Seems you can't stay out of my medbay no matter how hard you try." The crisp British accent of Karin Chakwas was music to Shepard's ears.

Without opening her eyes, Shepard attempted a weak smile and whispered, "Your medbay? Since when did you get transferred to the Agincourt, Doctor?"

Karin let out a brief laugh. "Oh my dear, you are not on the Agincourt. You've been moved to the London. You're suffering extreme biotic exhaustion. For a change, I don't have to order you to stay in bed. I doubt you could move if you tried. Your limbs probably feel like you're under restraint, and I imagine you have one hell of a migraine... Oh my! I didn't think that through!"

Shepard immediately felt relief as the light trying to pound its way into her head dimmed significantly. Karin spoke again, "That's probably much better... Sorry. I neglected to compensate for your expected light sensitivity. That will last for a couple of days, so I'll note your chart to keep anyone from turning that back up on you."

Shepard cracked her eyes open and looked at Karin, not comforted by the concern she saw etched in her face. "Ok, Doc. So give it to me in full. How bad is it this time? How long will I be here?"

Shepard figured she was in deep when Karin sighed and pulled up a chair. It seemed this was going to be a long conversation. "It's not bad. Not really. But it is very complicated. A lot of moving parts. So much so I'm not even really sure where to begin. Some of this should be relayed by someone other than me, but everyone's busy, so I'll just tell you and ask forgiveness later if I make anyone angry."

"When you came aboard you were in rough shape. Your collapse may have reopened some of your gunshot wounds, but most likely your last big fight did it and you just didn't realize. Your blood pressure was in the basement; you were on the verge of bleeding out...I don't know how you stayed awake and on your feet as long as you did." Karin paused to take a deep steadying breath. Shepard felt terrible for causing her friend such anguish and made a supreme effort to reach a hand toward the doctor, who saw the effort and met her halfway, clasping the offered hand tightly as she continued her narrative.

"On the bright side, the London had an ample supply of synthetic blood so fate intervened and you were brought here, to me, instead of to the Agincourt." Karin gave her an endearing smile. "You were exhausted, but your L3 handled the load well, so you'll have no permanent neurological damage. You'll just have to put up with me for a solid month of a very gradual recovery period."

Shepard's jaw dropped at that announcement, and she snapped it closed again and queried, "A whole month? We'll be back at Arcturus by then!"

Karin chuckled, "Yes, my dear, but you don't need to worry about that. Let me finish and you'll understand why." Shepard got a petulant look on her face, but silenced herself so Karin could speak without interruption.

"Ok. I'm just going to give you a summary of all that has transpired since we finished putting you back together. First, I ditched all your newly acquired merc armor and removed all your personal items before sending your clothes through a cleaning cycle. We found your hotel key and they sent someone to check you out of the room and collect all your personal belongings, along with those of all your squad mates..." Karin's expression reflected great sadness for the briefest of moments before she replaced it with her professional mask. "Shepard. Every other member of your squad is gone. The Captain and your infiltrator, Lt Fizer, were at one of the other colonies and also perished in the assault. I'm sorry."

Shepard closed her eyes just briefly before reopening them and giving Karin's hand a squeeze as a cue to continue. "Then the Admiral stopped by to see you...you're going to hate it Sam, but there is nothing to be done about it, so just take it with grace and move on. They're calling you the Hero of Elysium for stepping up and organizing the defense, for holding out while vastly outnumbered until the reinforcements arrived...and for stepping alone into a massive breach that should have seen the city fall. With nothing more than your biotics, an omniblade and a pistol no less... You have been described as everything from the Devil's Wind to an Angel of Vengeance."

Shepard groaned when she heard Karin's next statement. "They're giving you the Star of Terra."

Shepard shook her head, already aggravated about all the attention that would soon be heaped upon her. "Fuck. They should be giving it to the damn hospital medics. Those guys came out there with no military training, no protection, no weapons... and they kept us all standing, at great personal risk to themselves. They're the real heroes. I just did my job, Karin. It's what we do. We protect those who cannot protect themselves." Shepard would have pulled her hand back from Karin if she'd had the strength, but Karin didn't allow it...she acted like she didn't even feel the slight tug Shepard was able to muster. Shepard whispered wearily, "They better give the same to those who gave their lives to accomplish the goal."

Karin was chagrined. "You know that won't happen, Sam. I do have one last thing I need to mention. You won't be returning to the Agincourt. The ship steward is arranging to have all your possessions moved to a room on the London. You are now listed in patient status and assigned to me. I'll have full authority over you through your recovery and return to full duty... and once I clear you, they're sending you to N school."

Shepard's face went completely blank before her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. "I've been on the Agincourt less than three months. This was my first deployment with the fleet. They're moving me already? Wait... to you? You're going to be my boss?" Shepard smirked and rolled her eyes in mock frustration, actually relieved that she wouldn't be shucked off to some hospital with a physical therapist she didn't know.

Karin sighed at Shepard's juvenile antics and shook her head. "Did you not hear what I said? They're sending you to the Interplanetary Combatives Training course at the Vila Militar in Rio de Janeiro. You're starting with the next class. They're going to make you an N7 Operative... " Karin's lips twitched up into a smile, "...assuming you graduate, of course."

Shepard grimaced. "That makes no sense. That means I'll graduate N school with only six years active service. I'll still only be a Lieutenant. I can't run my own N7 squad as a Lieutenant, an N3 or 4 maybe, but not an N7. So what the heck will they do with me until I get the necessary rank? I don't want to be some damn Admiral's 'special assistant,' that's for sure!"

Karin outright laughed. "Samantha Shepard! Don't let _them_ hear you say that. They'll promote you early, of course. You'll only be twenty-four and you'll be one of the youngest, if not _the_ youngest Lieutenant Commander in the Alliance Navy!"

Shepard let out a tired sigh. "Great. Something else to make me 'special.'" Shepard's eyes drifted closed, still tired and achy from the battle, and now exhausted by all the news thrown at her so soon after waking.

Karen didn't think it was possible; Samantha hadn't stirred an inch since she woke up, yet somehow she seemed to slump even deeper into the bed with her last statement, like she somehow deflated a bit more with the weight of the expectations being put upon her. "You need to get some sleep, so I'll leave you to it. I'm going to contact your mom, let her know we're alright. Anything you need before I go?"

Shepard's eyes fluttered open again. "Mom? Yeah. Tell her I love her, and ask her to get me some white sage. She should be able to get some from Earth..." Shepard had a hard time keeping her eyes open.

Karin looked at her questioningly. "White sage? What's it for?"

As Shepard's eyes closed hard for a final time, she mumbled, "Cleansing. Tell her I must have grabbed Dwyn's attention again..."

Karin was still confused. "Dwyn? Who's Dwyn, and what's he got to do with sage?" Getting no response, she just chuckled and tucked the sleeping Shepard's hand back under the covers. "I guess I'll just have to ask Hannah."

Karin stood and stretched her back. It had been a long day with much still unfinished. While very happy that Samantha was alive and relatively well, many other souls were not so lucky; she needed to close out their records for final disposition. W _on't get it done by standing around, but Hannah's first_. Karin left to make the call, the weight of the dead heavy on her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dwyn = Celtic God of tricks and pranks... There will be some early McCormick history about this in the next QuickShot.


	11. Unto Death We All Must Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: A flash to Hannah as a young girl and the curse of early deaths that seems to hang on the Shepard family. Also a glimpse into Hannah's heritage, hence Samantha's... Irish Celtic. This is not my heritage, so involved some research on my part. So, to you Celts out there, if you see anything glaringly/insultingly wrong, please tell me and I will fix it. Not my intent to be disparaging or disrespectful in any way.
> 
> Ankou - God of Death  
> Daideo - Grandfather  
> Dana - Mother of the Gods, Moon Goddess  
> Eslene - Long white death shirt used for burials  
> Mumaí - Mom  
> Mamó - Grandma

**2135 - Wicklow Ireland, Milky Way, Earth**

A five-year-old Hannah looked up at her mother, Samantha McCormick, in puzzlement and tugged at her sleeve. "Mumaí?"

Samantha looked down at Hannah, who was perplexed by the tears running down her mother's face. "Yes, Hannah?"

"Why are you so sad? Are we not going to visit Mamó?"

Samantha knelt down and swept her tears away as she tried to explain what was happening. "We are, but it is to say goodbye. We are preparing her for Ankou. She is going to join Daideo.

Hannah's brow wrinkled in anger. "I don't like Ankou. He took Daideo and I never saw him again. Does that mean I won't get to see Mamó any more either?"

Samantha sighed as she wiped more tears from her face. "Yes, that is what it means my sweet, but you must not be angry at Ankou. It is the natural order of things that when we get old we die, so that we may be born anew. Now come along; we're already late."

\-------------------------------

Samantha walked into her mother's bedroom, instantly assured everything had been set up properly. Thank the Gods for the caretaker, Hagan; he had taken care of most immediate needs overnight, so she had not needed to wake Hannah in the middle of the night after her mother had passed. The window had been opened for two hours to release the spirit, and then properly closed and the curtains drawn. The bier was set up and the candles readied, but it was Samantha's duty to wash and ready the corpse to be wrapped in the Eslene. Hagan brought her a basin of seawater and together they uttered the cleansing prayer and lit the candles. He then left the room and locked the door behind him so Samantha and Hannah would be alone for the remainder of the ritual. She kept Hannah close as she explained their duties as the female descendants of Mamó, then placed Hannah on a chair in the corner to observe while she completed the ritual. She reverently stripped the body and washed it thrice over while continuously uttering the spiritual cleansing chant to prepare her mother for burial.

"Oh spirits of water do I call upon thee. Enter this sacred space and lend me thy cleansing powers. From the waters welcome and to the water we return. Spirits of fire do I call upon thee. Send thy divine fire and burn through the darkness. Shed thy light upon this soul and clear it of shadows. Oh spirits of earth do I call upon thee. Ground and disperse all that is not light. Mix with me and help me cleanse this soul of the weight of darkness."

After Samantha had cleansed the body, she dressed her mother in the Eslene then returned to her daughter and hugged her tight, telling how proud she was that she had stayed still and quiet through the entire cleansing. "Your Mamó would be proud of you, little one, for observing the old faith for her so well. You do her great honor."

With that, she stood and unlocked the door. She returned to the chair and lifted Hannah to her lap, to sit her first vigil. They kept fresh candles continuously burning and the body was constantly attended for seven days and seven nights. During that time, friends and relatives visited and told their stories of the deceased and lamented her loss. All of Leah's friends helped by taking turns at the vigil until the seventh day. Finally, the Druid came and took her measure for her final rest before seven friends carried the body to the site of cremation.

The Druid led the procession, Samantha and Hannah followed the body, with all the remaining friends trailing behind. As the ashes were scattered to drift on the winds to the sea, the Druid offered his final prayers and blessings. "Leah McCormick, may you go forth under the strength of heaven, under the light of sun, under the radiance of moon; may you go forth with the splendor of fire, with the speed of lightening, with the swiftness of wind; may you go forth supported by the depth of sea, by the stability of earth, by the firmness of rock. May you be surrounded and encircled, with the protection of the nine elements, as you travel your path to the Otherworld."

\-------------------------------

**2137 - Wicklow Ireland, Milky Way, Earth**

Hannah awoke in a hospital, bruised and battered, unsure what had happened. The family had spent a wonderful day on the beach and waited until the glories of Dana were high in the sky before heading home. The last thing she remembered was she was tired and fell asleep in the back of the sky car. A strange man dressed in black came in and spoke to her about an accident, about having no family that would claim her. She would go to an orphanage and be raised by the state. Hannah sat, feeling disconnected from reality as she listened to the tale and understood that her parents had both been taken by Ankou, just like her grandmother had been only two years prior. It was not until he said they would be buried in the church cemetery that she came out of her stupor.

The priest sat back in surprise when the girl before him transformed into a little fury. "No! You cannot bury them!"

The priest tried in vain to console the young McCormick. "They are gone to the afterlife, little one. We are merely burying their empty vessels."

Hannah's eyes narrowed. "You don't know anything! They went to Ankou in the Otherworld, so their bodies have to be cleansed and returned to the sea, just like Mamó!"

With the mention of Ankou, understanding hit the priest. Hannah's outburst explained a lot; while not many practiced the old religions anymore, those that did lived within isolated circles, not readily accepted by those who had converted to the Christian faiths. That's why no one would claim her; her parents had been separated from the rest of her family long ago. Though a staunch Irish Catholic, the priest had a relatively good understanding of the various religions of the countryside; you had to if you wanted to have any hope of convincing them to convert to save their souls. However, a seven-year-old girl was not a target for conversion; she was not old enough to understand the arguments, and her recent trauma was not to be exploited. He sighed heavily and spoke gently. "So your family follows the Druid ways, then. I apologize...I did not mean to upset you. I am the wrong priest, Hannah. I will arrange for someone to come see you tomorrow." He laid a hand gently on the young girl's head. "Don't worry. We'll take proper care of your parents and arrange for their return to the waters."

When the Druid showed the next day, Hannah recognized him as the one who had taken care of her grandmother. As he drifted up to her, he spoke quietly. "Hannah McCormick. I understand you requested a Druid to attend to your parents. Once again you have made your family proud with your truth to the faith. What do you need of me?"

Tears streamed down Hannah's face with the appearance of the Druid. It confirmed the reality that her parents were truly gone to Ankou and she was alone in the world. In the honesty born of youth, she said as much to the Druid. "My child of earth and water, you are not alone. There are many who watch over you. Though your parents have moved on, the Gods have kept you here, safe. They yet have a purpose for you on this Earth. Your journey is not done."

Hannah sniffed and wiped the tears off her face, her sorrow being replaced by anger. "But why are they so mean? Why do they take everyone I love?"

The Druid shook his head. "I cannot answer that question. I cannot speak to the actions of the Gods, but I will tell you this. Not all Gods are kind, Hannah. There is Lugh, the God of skills, of lightening, revenge and war. Macha, the Goddess of war, dominance and death. And there is the White Lady, the Dryad of death, destruction and annihilation. There is also Dwyn, the trickster. Not all his tricks are kind; most actually are rather mean and spiteful, meant to tease and to test our resolve and the true metal of our faith. Perhaps he is the one at work here, and if that is the case you have passed his test, with your strength of purpose to take proper care of your parents."

Hannah slumped on the bed, leaned forward and put her chin in her hands. "I hate tests."

The Druid moved to her side and wrapped her in his robes and his arms. "You have strength, Hannah McCormick. You will pass this test and life will go on. You have much in front of you yet; since you yet live, you have a purpose, and you will go on at least until that divine purpose is fulfilled."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late!... I know I normally post these MUCH earlier in the day!
> 
> RRT - Rapid Response Team  
> ICT - Interplanetary Combatives Training  
> Agoraphobia - Fear of wide-open spaces

**2177 - Vila Militar, Rio de Janeiro**

Interplanetary Combatives Training was nothing like what Shepard expected. An instructor met them at the door as soon as the shuttles hit the ground and told them about a roster posted at the dorm assigning beds. He also told them to drop their bags on their bunks, get their gear and weapons ready, and be out of the dorm on the line in five minutes. As the group stood there in stunned silence, the instructor casually looked over the group and told them anyone not on the line at the five minute mark would get back on the shuttle and go home... and that they now had only four minutes and thirty seconds. Chaos instantly erupted as the students started running for the dorms; of the thirty people who arrived on the shuttles, seven went home before they ever got started.

The remaining twenty-three students were split into groups of four or five; with each student given five meal packs and told they had to survive a week of evasion and escape testing. The instructor stood tall at the front of the group and bellowed. "The rules are simple. You will be given a series of coordinates and be expected to navigate through the jungle. If you get caught or do not successfully navigate through the series of assigned checkpoints within the designated time limit, you go home. Those who do complete the course will earn an N1 rating and will be allowed to stay and continue on immediately."

He paused and glanced at all the students before continuing. "You will also have the option to leave and then return to continue your training at any time. The same will be true after the successful accomplishment of each level. However, once you fail, at any level, you will be done here and will hold the rank of your highest completed level ad infinitum."

He did not ask if there were questions; he merely directed the group to the arms master to ready weapons for the training course. All the weapons were changed to stun load-outs and they spent the next seven days in the jungles surrounding Rio.

Shepard ended up in a group of five, all of whom seemed competent, at least at the beginning. It didn't take long before two people singled themselves out, unfortunately at opposite ends of the spectrum. Shepard was a natural leader, not only for her capabilities, but also because the other candidates respected her reputation from Elysium. On the other end was Daniels; a cocky soldier who didn't know the definition of stealth. By the third day, his stomping through the woods had almost gotten them caught four times, saved only by some quick thinking and awesome diversions on the part of his teammates. They were approaching their fifth checkpoint of eight when they stumbled upon a large clearing. Daniels, of course, was ready to just sprint straight across it, talking about how much time they could save by doing so. After a couple of minutes of arguments costing them critical time, they ended up agreeing on a meeting point on the other side, and each team member was on their own to get to it. The team would continue moving after a certain wait time, and anyone not yet there would be on their own at that point...the rest would not wait. As most of them expected, four of the five showed for the rendezvous and Daniels wasn't one of them. They found out later he was neutralized by a sniper while trying to cut directly across the meadow. At the end of the week, a total of nine hadn't made it; one was injured in a fall, three others got taken out doing something risky like Daniels, and one entire team of five got lost in the jungle and failed to make the final checkpoint within the time limit. The remaining fourteen earned their N1 rating and every one opted to continue on for the next segment of training.

During the opening round of training, the long twenty-hour days of moving lengthy distances over difficult terrain with little sleep and less food took a toll on even the hardiest of soldiers. While the N1 phase was specifically designed to filter out the 'wanna be' applicants from those who truly possessed the necessary physical and mental toughness for special operations, the N2 training block allowed for a physical recovery period, providing a chance for the remaining students to return to full health. The block focused heavily on classroom instruction, to include linguistics, frontline trauma care for multiple biologics, and general familiarization with various unarmed combat styles practiced throughout the council races. The language training was particularly demanding; it was full-immersion training where all their classes were taught in the language du jour, and that methodology would continue through the remainder of N-school. If you couldn't handle the language portion, you had no hope of progressing past N1.

Throughout the course, the primary non-human races of interest were focused around the council races, the Asari, Turians and Salarians, with secondary emphasis on the Volus, Elcor, Quarians and Hanar. One thing that surprised Shepard was what everyone nicknamed the "best kill" class. It focused on the best methods to kill races classified as aggressive, dangerous and for the most part, anti-human; Krogan, Batarians and Vorcha. In the end, three students failed the N2 phase, one because he refused to practice on or provide medical treatment to any member of the Turian race and the other two had little talent for linguistics. As such, eleven students earned their N2 rating and moved forward to next block of instruction.

Like the N2 block , the N3 training was not physically taxing; assuming the students had decent balance and no fear of heights... focusing on airborne operations training, including both powered and non-powered skills. Non-powered skills included training such as static-line and free-fall parachuting, hang gliding and paragliding, while powered ops ran the gamut from jetboots and jetpacks to basic spacecraft operation. The hardest part of the course was learning to operate non-human spacecraft, because the buttons and switches were in the host-race languages. It was not an insurmountable obstacle; it was just a matter of learning each race's technical language, made easier by the availability of omnitool universal translators during the first portion of the training as teaching aids. N4 training was much the same, except it focused on all things aquatic instead of aerial. Each of the candidates easily cruised through both levels and graduated as N4s before heading off for a short break over the Christmas holidays.

**2178 - Vila Militar, Rio de Janeiro**

No one knew why the other two didn't show, but only nine of the N4 graduates returned in January to begin N5 training. Centered around infiltration, success in this phase required skills in hacking and surveillance, cloaking and stealth technologies, detecting traps and sensors, and training in both setting and diffusing explosives.   The worst parts of the class were the traps and explosives. Though they weren't deadly, they were live and therefore self-critiquing when you screwed one up. No one escaped the block without at least one visit to the base hospital. Despite the trials and tribulations, all nine candidates made it to the final exam. In this test, all the students were isolated from one another and then presented with the exact same scenario. They had to dodge all traps and sensors while they infiltrated a secured facility to a central core, collecting any available intelligence along the way. They then had to locate and diffuse a bomb. The bomb was on a timer and each student had to get to it, diffuse it before it 'exploded,' and then successfully egress the building to an extraction point. They were graded on each of the skills required and the total time to completion. The particularly unique factor about the final test was there was a time limit, but the students were not told what it was beforehand, just that one existed.

Shepard was by no means an infiltrator; she was an in your face, blow shit up Vanguard who just managed to acquire all the necessary individual skills through the course of the training. The real question was if she could put it all together and finish the assigned 'mission' in the time allotted. She was dropped off at the designated entry to the building, an unguarded sewer pipe, and started her way into the building. The very first grate she came to had a sensor on it; she disabled it, slipped into the basement of the building with her cloak enabled, and moved quickly to a concealed corner. She scanned the room and found there was only one camera on the floor, but it covered the stairwell up into the main building so she wasn't going anywhere until she figured out how to hack it. She used her omnitool to track the lines back and quickly found a break she could tap into. Once in, she quickly hacked into the main system feed, setting it to feed the live video image to her omnitool, and replaced the monitored feed with a fifteen-minute loop recording. The system had a series of sixteen cameras that were now her eyes on the hallways. She also set up a remote burn that would destroy the tap with a code sent from her omnitool, so once she made it out, she could destroy the tap. The building occupants would hopefully never be the wiser.

She worked her way up, passing through several locked doors, disabling sensors and alarms, bypassing pitfalls and traps and even hacked a number of terminals and completed data downloads of anything she could find. She finally made it into the main server room and located the bomb. Shepard had no idea how she was doing in relation to the rest of the group, but the timer had just clicked below twenty minutes. It had taken her just over an hour and a half to reach this point, and she wondered if it was a two-hour time limit. She got to work. It took her three minutes to figure out the circuitry and burn the countdown timer so they couldn't just 'turn it back on' when they figured out she had disabled it. She also removed a couple of other little circuit boards she figured they wouldn't notice without running a full diagnostic, just as insurance. Assuming a two-hour time limit, she had fifteen minutes remaining to exit the building that had taken her ninety-five to get into. She activated her cloak and stepped into an empty elevator then climbed out through the roof hatch. She wiggled down between the side of the car and the wall and scanned the shaft for sensors. She got lucky, there were none. Moving to the side shaft maintenance ladder, she began her descent. Having grown up on ships, she learned the quick way to travel the ship via maintenance tunnels and ladders and it paid her dividends now, as she simply put her feet and hands on the outside rails and slid down. It was twelve floors, and she screamed back to the basement in record time, pried open the basement elevator door, and slipped out, returning to her sewer tunnel and activated the burn code on her installed tap. She then retreated through the sewer to the exit point. As she slid out the end of the tube, she reached over and tapped the timer button. Within moments, a team showed up and took her back to the compound, where she was put in a changing room and told to remove everything on her person, including her omnitool, and slip into the pair of gray sweats that were provided for her. She was then moved to a holding area where she would stay until every student had completed the exercise and the instructors put together the final grades for the training block.

During the final debriefs, all the scores went up on the board for everyone to see. One person 'blew up' the bomb while diffusing it and was eliminated, another made the bomb time but busted the overall mission time, which turned out to be two and a half hours. The time bust didn't result in elimination, but they incurred a point penalty that placed them lowest on the final score list. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief, glad she chose the elevator 'express' exit. Had she worked back through the building the addition ninety minutes would have made her bust time as well. As it was, her overall time was one of the slower ones, but she had the best intel collection to counter the low time score and after everything else was factored in, she ended up in the middle of the pack, fourth of eight. Shepard was ok with that; of the original thirty students, she was one of eight certified N5s, and they were all headed into N6 training. Shepard knew she would excel in the next block; it was Zero-G combat and survival, with special weapons tossed in because they would be on the Luna ranges...and she was definitely a fan of stuff that went boom.

The very first day of N6 training, the class of eight found themselves in a small room with an odd device in the center, called a Multi-Axis Trainer or MAT. It was a chair surrounded by a frame that sat inside three separate rings, each rotating on a different axis, capable of creating an uncontrolled three-dimensional roll meant to simulate the disorientation you could feel with a sudden loss of gravity aboard ship during combat maneuvers. Shepard inadvertently 'volunteered' to go first by laughing when she heard the explanation...it made her think of the time she almost made Culver sick when she spun her in a lift. She willingly climbed into the chair; the combination of being a spacer, her biotics training and her experiences in the Alliance made her more than familiar with Zero-G ops and she knew the chair would not pose any significant challenge. After everyone had a turn with no significant side effects, the entire class was transported to Luna, where they would stay for most of their N6 training because of the low gravity, only sixteen percent that of Earth. The Luna training facility had a number of classrooms, as well as the ability to create true Zero-G conditions to finish the training level. They basically repeated certain aspects of all the training they had accomplished to this point; they ran all the standard combat drills, practiced frontline trauma care and learned to drive vehicles in low-gravity environments. It wasn't all that different than the training on Earth; they just had to get comfortable doing it in full hardsuits and wearing mag-boots. Luna was also a weapons testing range, so they had lots of room to play with big guns and learn how to operate every special weapon in the Alliance inventory...plus some from the Turians and Salarians. Shepard was in heaven.

The hardest segment of the training was last. Once they were all comfortable with Zero-G, they had to go to Arcturus and operate on the exterior of the station. They started tethered, but by the end of the class, they had to free-walk across the station with mag-boots and a jetpack and accomplish a specified set of tasks. Once everyone was task-complete, they all boarded the shuttle, thinking they were returning to Luna. Instead, they were thrown immediately into space survival; the entire class was taken out at the same time and ejected from the shuttle with nothing but their hardsuits and a personal recovery beacon, to simulate accidental separation from a fixed station or an emergency ship evacuation. They all had the same size air tank and a built-in back-up air source. They had to free float in the black expanse of space until their main tank emptied and the suit tripped over to the emergency reserve supply. At that time, a suit alarm would sound and a signal would be automatically sent to the shuttle, which would then locate and retrieve the student. The point of the exercise was to avoid agoraphobia, relax and stretch your air, and see how long you could last; it was designed to provide each individual with the personal knowledge of their own capabilities, but because of the competitive nature of the students, it immediately became a contest to see who could last the longest. The hours dragged by; the suits had a standard seven-hour supply and a one-hour reserve. The first student was picked up just after the five hour mark when he hit his emergency recall button. When the shuttle picked him up and he did not have a suit malfunction, he was forced to admit he just couldn't take any more. He washed out of N6 and returned to the Alliance as their newest N5.

A couple more hours dragged by and eventually beacons started pinging and the shuttle got busy. The shuttle would hover in close, and then an operative would go out on a tether line to retrieve the newest N6. Soon they had seven of eight retrieved; Lieutenant Shepard was still adrift. The clock continued ticking, and the instructors and new N6s were starting to make friendly wagers as to how long she'd stay out. As the eighth hour approached, the shuttle started tracking her beacon; the instructors were concerned about a possible communications malfunction and wanted to track her down and verify her status. The shuttle approached and there was no visible reaction from the lieutenant; her body hung in space, completely devoid of any motion. The lead instructor started to get concerned and determined he would personally tether out to check on her. As he drifted in towards the lieutenant, he feared the worst. He could see all four limbs hung limp and when he got a look at her face through the face-shield, he could see her eyes were closed. He flashed his maneuver jets and closed the gap before tapping his comm and speaking gently, "Shepard? Shepard, you still with us?"

He breathed an audible sigh of relief when he saw her eyelids flutter. She rolled her head around and found the source of the voice and saw the shuttle nearby. "Hmmm. Did my suit switch over to the reserve? I didn't hear the warning alarm." She glanced at her pressure gauge and it showed yellow caution, but still a good ways from the red zone. She looked back at the N7, her statement sounding more like a question, "my suit still shows good, Sir?"

The instructor started to chuckle. "What were you doing, Shepard? Sleeping?"

Shepard looked horrified. "No Sir! I may not hear the warning alarm if I'm asleep! I was meditating."

The instructor let out a belly laugh. "Shit, Shepard. You meditated yourself right out to the eight-hour point, still have air in your tank and still have your full reserve. You gonna keep us waiting out here until you hit empty?"

"Only if I have to, Sir. How many are left?"

"Tether on, Lieutenant, and I'll reel us back in to the shuttle. Last person came in over thirty minutes ago. Longest was seven hours, twenty-seven minutes before tapping into their reserves. You probably could've made a full ten hours if we didn't come hunting you."

\-------------------------------

The next day the class of seven N6s returned to the Vila to something none of them expected. The Academy Commandant, Captain Richter, stood before them, and congratulated them on their completion of the academic portion of the Interplanetary Combatives Training. He spoke in a booming voice, "N6 is the highest grade of classroom training. Tomorrow you will be assigned a handler and you will select your own team; then, over the next eighteen months, you will be given missions which will provide actual leadership experience in combat zones throughout the galaxy. If you survive these scenarios in an admirable and effective fashion, you will receive the coveted N7 designation."

He paused briefly to let the fact they were being turned loose in the galaxy sink in. "In your rooms, you will find dossiers on all the eligible personnel to fill each of your squad positions. You will be able to select those personnel in order, based on your final class standing. That final ranking and the name of your handler will be posted at 0700 hours the morning. Meet with them briefly, and then squad selection will begin in the main auditorium at 0800 hours. I expect you and your squad to be going to lunch and getting to know one another by noon."

Shepard went immediately to the reception desk and got her room key, wanting to get a look at the dossiers to see who was available, with what kinds of skills. She quickly rank ordered her choices within each specialty, knowing she was going to need two engineers and an infiltrator for sure, preferably one that was a first class sniper. She'd also need at least one soldier. After that, the question for the fifth man was whether she wanted another soldier and she would fill the biotic roll, or get a second biotic, and she'd fill a soldier roll. Shepard didn't have to think long; she didn't want to be in the background dropping shields and providing barriers. She was a Vanguard and she was going to lead from the front, with an additional biotic in the midfield to fill the combat support role.

She was very pleasantly surprised the next morning when she looked at the class placement and found herself at the top of the class. Getting first pick meant she'd for sure get her number one position filled; when the time came, she selected Specialist Jonathan Hills, an Engineer Operative. Someone in the first round selected the biotic she had decided she wanted, so she ended up dropping to her second choice, a fellow lieutenant by the name of Carlton Biggs; still very talented, and as a pure Adept he had lots of stable power, especially since he was younger and had an L3 implant instead of one of the older L2s. Round three came and went, and Shepard had no competition for her Infiltrator. Everyone was picking folks with the highest infiltration ratings, and that's not what Shepard was looking for; she wanted a good infiltrator, but more than that she needed an excellent sniper. That came in the form of Sergeant Josie McDonough; she was just a little spit of an Irish girl, but she could shoot. Shepard rounded out her team with her third choices on both her Engineer Medic and the second soldier. The Engineer Medic reminded her of Eva Schwartz from the RRT; same stature, same grit... and her name was Ensign Liz Masters.   The soldier was a monster man named Sergeant Buzz Mitchell. He definitely had the advantage of size; he looked like he could crush a Krogan with his bare hands, but on the flip side he also made a really big target. Their handler was Major Randolph Hudson, and he instructed them to go to lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon getting to know one another. He already had their first assignment, and he'd brief them first thing in the morning.

\-------------------------------

Lunch was an interesting affair; everyone knew the hero of Elysium, and most were awestruck that she had selected them for her team. Their sniper, Josie McDonough, was a firebrand, and her comment was more to the tune of hoping they fared better than the squad Shepard had with her that fateful day. The table fell deadly quiet, everyone holding their breath to see how the hero would answer that. Shepard looked at her across the table, her face betraying no emotion. She then laughed quietly and responded, "Sergeant, you might be the first person I've met that hasn't automatically kowtowed to me over that tragedy. Good to know there's some sanity out there after all...it was one of the worst days of my life." She shook her head and continued, "We were just a partial squad out for burgers and beer, minus our sniper and our Captain, and some whack job decided it was time to try and take a whole damn planet. Fucker almost succeeded, too. They gave the medal to the wrong person that day; it should have gone to all the guys that died on the line and a group of crazy civilian medics who ran around in the middle of all that shit and kept us standing. They were the real heroes; I just did my damn job." She looked around the table at her still silent squad. "And I'll forfeit my chance at N7 before I'll accept any fucked up mission where they put us up against those kinds of odds on purpose, just to test our mettle to see if we're worthy."

The table stayed quiet for the briefest of moments after Shepard stopped talking before Josie started laughing. "Damn, ma'am. I was just being a smart ass, but I like your answer. Pretty sure I can work for you just fine with an attitude like that."

Shepard nodded and laughed with her, "good to know, 'cause you're stuck with me now, anyway." She glanced around the table again. "And I want everyone to know that's the kind of attitude I want on this team. I am not all-knowing. If you see me doing something stupid, stop me. If you have suggestions on how to do something better, I expect to hear it. We'll all learn from it, and hopefully we'll all come out the other side of this alive and well."

With that, the mood at the table lightened significantly and they all got to know one another. Shepard, Hills, McDonough and Mitchell were all single, though Mitchell proclaimed he was married to the Corps. Josie once again flabbergasted everyone when she announced she was on the market, but hadn't yet found a man who wasn't afraid of a girl with a bigger stick than his own. Shepard just laughed as she pictured the woman sleeping with her sniper rifle. Lieutenant Biggs was married, and his wife Sally was there with him in Rio, while Ensign Masters was married to a doctor working in Chicago. When Hills heard about Sally being in Rio, he offered that his sister Nikki lived here, and if Sally needed someone to show her around, he was sure Nikki would be happy to oblige. By the end of the afternoon, the group seemed to have found a comfort zone with one another that Shepard felt was a foundation good enough to start forming a decent team. She invited them all to dinner, her treat, including Sally and Nikki, figuring it would be a good way to get the two women together to meet in a forum less threatening than a blind one-on-one.

Shepard made reservations for eight at a sit-down Italian eatery in the heart of Rio, Ristorante Cibo della Patria; it had a reputation for good food at a descent price, so Shepard figured everyone should be able to find something they liked. They had a big square table that sat two on a side and Josie immediately claimed the seat next to Shepard, Biggs and Sally were to her right, Nikki and Hills directly across, and Mitchell and Masters to her left. It put Nikki and Sally next to each other so they could chat and get to know one another, and Nikki was directly across from Shepard. Dinner was actually a lot of fun, the conversation varied, and Shepard felt it seemed all too soon when the meal was done. The group was standing in the lobby while Shepard paid the bill, and they apparently agreed it was too early to return to base and decided to go out dancing. Shepard laughed, "Yeah. Guys, I don't dance. You all have a good time. I'm gonna head back and get caught up on some messaging."

She was somewhat surprised when Nikki walked up and brazenly slipped an arm through hers. "So what if you don't dance. You just need to come out with us long enough to buy a girl a drink. It's too early to call it a night."

Shepard blushed slightly, realizing that Nikki had probably caught her checking her out at the dinner table. An easy conversationalist, Nikki was obviously comfortable in her own skin, and Shepard felt she had every reason to be. She was tall and thin, with an athletic build; it was evident she took good care of herself. Her baby blue eyes and mid-length blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail gave her a very attractive, youthful appearance that definitely interested the lieutenant. Shepard smiled at the woman hanging on her arm, "Well, it would be rude of me to turn down an invitation like that now, wouldn't it?"

Shepard hardly remembered the walk to the bar, speaking with Nikki the whole way. Turned out Nikki was in Rio full time because she worked in South American marketing for a company called Paragade, a sports drink subsidiary owned by PepsiCo, headquartered in Chicago. Nikki liked the team Shepard had assembled, and had hit it off with Liz Masters when they realized they both had a Chicago connection. She had really liked Sally Biggs as well, though with the unexpected turn of events and Carlton going out on assignment, Sally wasn't going to stay in Rio long enough to take Nikki up on the offer to show her around. Nikki made it very clear that Sally's departure left her calendar wide open for 'other' activities.

After a couple of hours and a third drink, Shepard looked to Nikki with a grin on her face. "As much fun as this is, I really do need to go, I have stuff to finish up before tomorrow morning. Thanks for dragging me out here, though. I had a good time." She flashed a genuine smile at the woman she had willingly let monopolize her time all evening.

Nikki's blue eyes made direct contact and she laid a hand gently on Shepard's arm. "Believe me, it was my pleasure. I'd like to do this again sometime. Soon. Call me when you get back in town?"

Shepard's smile never left her face. "Absolutely. With all the training, I haven't had much time to see the city. Since Sally isn't going to take you up on your offer, when I get back you can show _me_ Rio."

After exchanging contact data, Shepard slipped out and hailed a cab to return to the base. Jonathan strolled over to Nikki. "You seem to have hit it off pretty well with Lieutenant Shepard."

Nikki smiled at her brother, "As a matter of fact I did. I'm glad she decided to come. We had a great time and plan on doing so again."

Jon scowled. "I'm not so sure I like the idea of you hanging out with my boss, Nik."

She laughed. "You better get used to it little brother. I like her. A lot. And I do believe it's mutual. She agreed to call me when you guys get back in town; she asked me to show her Rio."

Jon sighed. "Fine. Just don't go dumping her like so many of your other girlfriends and pissing her off. This is pretty much a dream job for me, getting to work with someone like her and helping her earn her N7. I could end up staying as part of her permanent crew if it works out."

Nikki's eyes narrowed and her voice lost its previous lightness, "Yeah, well, if it works out, I could be a more permanent crew than you could ever think of being." Jon's eyebrows rose at the tone she used towards him. She continued, "Don't look so shocked. I told you I liked her _a lot_. There's something special about her that I haven't seen in any of the other women I've dated. And I plan to give us the chance to find out exactly what we can be to one another."

Her tone returned to the jovial state it was before her brother confronted her. "Now come on. Be happy for me. I'm heading back to my apartment. Stay awake out there and come home safe, Jon."

With a quick hug, Jon returned to the dwindling group and Nikki headed out the door to return to the restaurant to pick up her skycar. _Yes, the next eighteen months could be very interesting indeed._

 


	13. Too Close for Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ai'a me: a trusted friend and unquestioned ally  
> sim're: "Sister of my sister, not intended for relations, refers to a dear friend's loved one

**June 2178 - Theshaca Raids**

Major Hudson met them all in a small conference room. He had watched them trickle in via a monitoring camera and was pleased by what he saw. Overnight, the team had apparently taken to heart the commandant's advice to get to know one another and Hudson could already sense a growing camaraderie amongst the six. It almost seemed like they had known each other for weeks, not less than the twenty-four hours that was reality. The room fell silent as he walked in, the entire group moving to stand at attention without a word spoken, simply following the actions of Lieutenant Shepard. Hudson walked to the front of the room and flipped on a holoprojector.

"Good morning, and please, take a seat." He pointed at the projection hovering in the air at the front of the room. "This is Theshaca, Hong System, Armstrong Nebula. You all know of the growing pirate problem we have in the colonies along the border of the Terminus Systems." He looked pointedly at Shepard, as did every member of her team. "Theshaca is a popular discharge point for excess drive core heat for pirate vessels operating in the sector. Earlier this year, a covert engineering team snuck in and set up a network of sensing devices throughout its multiple moons. Over the last six months, we've been collecting FTL exit vector data; some of those led to reported raid locations, others pointed back to eight independent bases of operation."

He paused as he noticed certain eyes lighting up, knowing that at least three of the six knew exactly where he was going with this information. "We've collated that data and assigned missions by alphabetical order. You're Squad Alpha, and you get Asteria." The major tapped the holoprojector and the image changed to a split-screen showing two different images. "These are two colonies on Asteria, one Human, and the second, Asari. Pirates struck here four months ago and killed and captured a large number of folks from both populations. Over one thousand dead and three hundred missing and unaccounted for." He made eye contact with everyone in the squad as he continued. "We now know where they went, and that pirate stronghold is your target. Your mission is three fold. First, kill every one of the bastards so they can never do something like this again. Second, rescue any survivors you may find. Third, recover any and all intel from the base before you raze it to the ground."

The screen changed again and the major waved at the display. "This is the preliminary surveillance on the pirate base; I'll forward the data to your omnitools. You'll need to collect specifics once on site, but it shouldn't take you long to identify the weaknesses and plan your attack. We have a covert insertion team standing by; you leave at 1300 hours today; that will put you on location at midnight, inserted by 0100 hours. You'll have supplies for two weeks but I don't anticipate this taking more than four or five days. Once you're dropped, the mission will be comm silent, except for emergency extraction, until mission completion. At that time, you'll contact your ship to arrange for evac. You have three hours before your departure to review the data and ask any questions you come up with. Dismissed."

The team stood at attention as the major prepared to exit the room, but he was intercepted by Shepard. "Sir, you have a minute?" When Major Hudson nodded, Shepard glanced at the squad. "Take five, then meet back here and we'll go over the data."

Once they left the room, Shepard looked to the major and sighed. "Sir, I'm hesitant to take this mission."

Hudson was taken aback at such an early refusal, on a mission that seemed pretty cut and dry, especially from this particular candidate. He had caught a flash of a scowl crossing Shepard's face at the mention of their assigned location, so had to wonder if the uncertainty was related. "What's on your mind, Shepard?"

"Sir, I'm sure there's no way you could have known, but I had friends on Asteria. My biotics instructors back on Arcturus were Asari, Commandos Arlyna Sheya and Niria Phessi. When the new Ascension Project stood up two years ago and took over Alliance biotic training, they went back to their commando unit, and were sent to Asteria as part of the colonial defense team. When the dust settled after the raid, Niria called me; she had survived, but Arlyna was missing. They took her, Sir."

The major shook his head. "Help me understand this Shepard. You want to scratch a mission because of your connection to a possible Asari victim who was an instructor for what, two years? But she called you, so you must have remained friends..." He looked at her questioningly and waited for her to fill in the blanks.

"Yes, Sir. It's more than just friends. They came to Arcturus in 2168 at the personal request of a good friend of my family's, Dr Karin Chakwas, to train me personally. The Alliance jumped on for the ride, lacking other options at the time. Doc Chakwas has known them for almost twenty years, and I've known them for ten. They're practically family, Sir, and I'm afraid it could cause a conflict of interests if they try to use her as leverage against us."

Hudson's expression turned into a frown as Shepard explained her predicament, and he studied her in silence a few moments after she stopped. "Just the fact you recognize it as a potential problem says something about you, Shepard. But I'll tell you, after you've been around the Alliance for a while you get to know people. Then something happens and next thing you know, every battle becomes personal because someone you know died in it. Special ops is a small, tight community, and that happens generally sooner rather than later as compared to the Alliance in general. But I have to admit, I've never seen it happen before an N7 even got out of school."

He paused briefly before continuing. "You're going to run into that problem eventually, but I doubt it will be on this mission. Honestly, what's the chance a bunch of pirates are gonna know any of you are close to a particular Asari they happen to have in shackles?" He stopped and looked her eye-to-eye. "Besides which, I think you'd relish the chance to turn this into a rescue mission, if that's possible and you stumble onto a little bit of luck."

With the major's last statement, Shepard's eyes flared wide for a moment and he knew he had struck a chord in her. He knew her answer before she voiced it. "You're right, Sir. If they took Arlyna and she's anywhere on that base..." Shepard didn't finish the statement, but Hudson saw the look of resolve that flashed through Shepard's eyes. She stood up straight and nodded her head. "Thank you, Sir. I believe we're good to go."

\-------------------------------

It was unusual for pirates to take captives, but when the squad read the brief they understood why. The pirates had taken over and moved into a small eezo mining operation and they probably needed bodies to work the mine; the eezo trade was worth a lot of money, and kidnapping people and turning them into slaves was certainly a lot more profitable than buying them. Shepard came clean with her squad, filling them in on her conversation with the major, and asked them to be extra vigilant, to help her make sure she didn't get too emotionally involved and take inordinate risks. No one voiced any objections; they all had that look of 'knowing' in their eyes, like they had also lost family or friends to some tragedy and wished they had been able to do something about it. They boarded their transport on schedule and were soon underway.

Once they hit the ground, they found a place to lay low and dug in; Shepard and Sergeant Josie McDonough quickly headed out to see what they could see. It was obvious the pirates did not expect any trouble on their home turf, more of their guards faced into the mines watching the slaves, than faced out watching the perimeter. Shepard and Josie watched the operation for the first twenty-four hours to get the camp's basic schedule down. The guards worked three shifts, the lightest being from 2200 until 0600 hours the next morning, while the slaves were confined. It was gruesome conditions for the slaves, sixteen hours of hard labor with eight hours to eat and rest. The pirates were mostly Turians and Vorcha, with a few Krogan thrown in. Every captive had ankle chains and the Asari also had a biotic suppressive shock collar around their neck. Shepard didn't see any ships, so the raiding party must have been out, which meant they had no idea how many pirates actually operated out of this location; currently they numbered thirty, and the squad just had to hope the raiders weren't due back any time soon. The next day, they watched the main camp and identified key choke points; that night they set explosives.

The night shift had eight guards, while each of the day shifts had ten; the two additional bodies had various jobs, but primarily one ran the communications center and one was the camp cook. Shepard looked at her squad and reiterated the plan one last time before they separated to begin the engagement. "Hills, you've got comms. Make sure they go down hard, so they can't get any messages off-world and recall any raider ships. After that, I want you hunkered down somewhere out of sight, safe and ready with the explosives' detonator. McDonough, need you to slip into the mine and get into the hidden back corner you found last night. When the clock ticks one, you're taking the two guys outside the slave shack quick and quiet. Feel free to work your way out at that point and take more if we're too slow. Just don't shoot any of us or there will be hell to pay." Shepard grinned at the sniper before continuing. "And us last four... we'll take the two outside quick and easy, under cloak, then move in for the four middlemen. Should be quick and painless...for us, anyway. Once we're done, if the main camp hasn't moved yet, we rattle fire into the camp. When the shouting starts and they all come running out to fight, Jon blows the explosives and then we clean up what's left of our mess. When the bullets stop flying, we'll talk intel collection and rescue ops. Hopefully we're done and gone before the raider ships ever show their faces."

Shepard glanced around the squad and got a thumbs up from everyone. "Ok. Let's do it."

Fifteen minutes after that, the shooting started and less than five minutes later the dust was settling; it was by the numbers and the final score was Alpha Squad thirty, Pirates zero. Shepard rounded up the troops. "Biggs, you're with me on captive release. You remaining four, hit up the main camp. Keep your eyes open just in case anybody happened to survive. Capture if you can, but don't risk yourselves to do it. Collect everything you can find; omnitools, datapads, whatever. We'll go through it all and sort it later. Right now, focus on speed. I'll make the extraction call as soon as I know how many folks we've got to move. Let's rock, people!"

Shepard and Biggs moved back down into the mines once again and walked into the main chamber. A quick hack with the omnitool and Biggs had the door unlocked to the main containment area. They flipped the power on and finally got a good look at the slaves and the conditions they had been kept in; after her quick in and out, Josie had warned the lieutenant about the deplorable conditions, but Shepard was still shocked. The cells were small, each only twelve square meters, and each contained eight or ten frightened people. They barely had enough room to lie down, there was no fresh water, and there was nowhere to go to the bathroom other than on the cell floor. The stench was unforgiving.

Shepard stood in the middle of the large room, surrounded by cells full of broken souls and cursed the Gods for allowing something like this to happen. There were four rows of five cells; twenty cells, roughly one hundred eighty people to move, many of which would require medical care. Shepard growled to herself. _One hundred eighty survivors out of three hundred taken_. Shepard slowly explained who she was and why the squad was there, and that they would soon be able to go home. She and Biggs started hacking and opening the individual cells. When Shepard got to her seventh cell, a gaunt version of a familiar face greeted her at its door, silent tears running down Arlyna's face; she had no words to express her emotions. Shepard's hands trembled as she unlocked the door and opened it, Arlyna collapsing into her arms. Shepard scooped her off her feet and carried her gently out to the main hall; she hardly weighed anything and was nothing like the once powerful huntress Shepard knew. Shepard set her down on a bench and tenderly clasped the sides of Arlyna's head, stroking her cheeks with soft caresses. Shepard looked into her eyes and saw four months of pain, beatings, and despair. Shepard spoke quietly to her friend. " _Ai'a me_ , have hope. Your bondmate called me. Niria survived the raid and she misses you dearly. We're here to take you home to her."

Arlyna's hands flew up to cover her face; during her four months of slavery, she had not dared to hope, but now she broke down into sobs of relief. Shepard hugged her close and held her for a couple of minutes before breaking away. "I must attend to the rest, _ai'a me,_ but I'll be back. Stay right here and rest where I can find you." Getting a barely perceptible nod from Arlyna, Shepard withdrew reluctantly to attend to her duties. Once all the cells were open and all the captives released, they did a total count and relayed the information to their extraction team. The next two hours awaiting transportation were tense, hoping the extraction team showed before a raider vessel, and working with the victims to group them by home world and colony. They scavenged keys off the bodies of the pirates and unlocked and removed all the shackles and collars. Shepard also broke open the squad's two weeks of rations and distributed a meal pack to anyone who wanted one, which included all 182 souls. As the supply dwindled, she did math in her head and realized they barely had enough; they started with two hundred packs and by the time they were done there were only eighteen remaining, a one-day supply for the six-man squad under normal conditions.

When the extraction team arrived, the SSV Nairobi followed closely behind. Shepard went straight to the extraction team commander. "Hey, Irish! Got a question for you. Do we need to head straight back or can we detour through Blackdamp on Asteria?"

Peter Reid looked at her. "That depends." Shepard looked at him and cocked her head, waiting.

"You think you can git yer paws on a bottle of Bushmills 21?"

Shepard barked out a laugh. "You'll honestly take me to Blackdamp for a three hundred credit bottle of Irish Whiskey? What, you got nobody at home can get that for you anymore?"

Peter grinned. "Oh, I got family. They're normally too cheap to buy the good stuff...and when they do, they certainly aren't gonna send it to me!"

Shepard just shook her head. "You've got yourself a deal, Irish, assuming you can wait a couple months for me to pay up. It'll come, but it won't necessarily come quick."

\-------------------------------

The last thing they did before they left was blow the mine, completely collapsing it and pretty much guaranteeing the pirates would make no attempts to reopen it; they'd have to feed slaves for way to long before it turned profitable again. Shepard sat in a small observation room on the port side of their transport, en route to Asteria. She pretended to go over her preliminary report for Major Hudson, when in reality she watched over Arlyna. The huntress was exhausted, but woke frequently from nightmares and Shepard was immediately at her side, holding her until she fell back to sleep; sometimes it was within minutes, sometimes she sat shaking for an hour before succumbing to her exhaustion. In a way, Shepard wished the raiders had returned to the base, just so they could have wiped them _all_ from the galaxy, instead of just the support team. She took comfort from knowing that seven other squads were out, doing the exact same thing at the exact same time, and when they were all done, it would be a long time before pirates thought to hit the Armstrong Nebula again; Shepard hoped the destruction of eight major pirate anchorages would prove to be a cost too high for them to endure.

It was a bittersweet reunion on Asteria, not everyone was quite as lucky as Niria and Arlyna; not everyone's significant others, neither in the colonies nor the mines, survived to make the reconnection. As Shepard was preparing to leave, a tearful Niria approached and took her hands. " _Sim're_. I can never repay what you have done for me today. When I ... When I called you, it was to tell you of her loss to me...her loss to us. I never dared dream you would be able to return my bondmate to me. Know that if you ever need anything, I will be there for you." Niria crushed her in an embrace that spoke more than her words ever could and Shepard felt her hot tears run down her neck as she returned the hug.

She whispered gently in Niria's ear. "You owe me nothing. You are family and I take care of my sisters. Know you can always call on me, and I will do what I can. Your road will not be easy." Shepard pushed away and looked Niria in the eye as she finished. "I don't know how you were affected, but she has terrible nightmares, Niria. Dreams that leave her trembling for an hour, even when being held and comforted. You must help each other heal. What will you do now?"

Niria dropped her eyes. "I will take us back to Thessia and we will take whatever time we need to get... better. I don't know how long that will take, or what we will do after, but I vow that we will stay in touch. We are not retreating to hide, we are returning home to heal." She glanced back over her shoulder and found Arlyna with her eyes, patiently waiting. Looking back at Shepard, she leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "Go with the Goddess, Samantha Shepard."

\-------------------------------

The squad debrief with Major Hudson was quick and painless, as he found no fault with the attack plan nor the results. He smiled at the end of the debrief, "Shepard, I'm glad you were reunited with your friends and that you get to put off the hard lesson of losing a friend."

Shepard's face turned solemn. "I'm afraid that's a lesson I've already learned, Sir; a couple times over. I just don't care to chalk up any reminders any time soon. I was young and naive then. Now I wear the uniform and carry a gun, and I'm still not sure how I'll act when it comes right down to it. I'd like to think I'll do the right thing, but until it actually happens..."

The major stood up and clapped her on the shoulder. "You'll do fine, Shepard. You'll do just fine. All your guys get three days. Check in at the end of that and I'll see what we've got for you."

Several hours later found Shepard standing on a platform under the Cristo Redentor statue at Corcovado. Before they arrived at the statue, they had met at a park outside Nikki's office, and Nikki had treated her to lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant off the beaten path. The food was excellent and it was a quaint little place with only a few tables that had granted a significant level of privacy. They covered a lot of topics while they ate, and finally Shepard asked her for a quick-and-dirty on things to see and do in Rio. Nikki smiled and said she had the perfect place in mind to do just that. Shepard soon found herself on an archaic cog train that rattled and groaned its way slowly up a steep ascent through the rain forest just in time for sunset; she and Nikki leaned against the railing and took in the beautiful vista that was Rio. The views were spectacular.

It started with a light touch, as Nikki reached over and laid her hand on Shepard's arm supposedly to draw her attention as Nikki pointed out the sights. "Tonight, we head right down to that part of town, there. That's Lapa, the heart of Rio's nightlife. That's where we went to the bar after dinner." She turned and pointed out the growing darkness in the west. "All of that is Tijuca National Park. Lots of trails if you want to pack a lunch and go hiking tomorrow morning. Then in the afternoon..." Nikki turned again and indicated Copacabana, "I would love to see you in a bikini on that white beach."

Shepard laughed. "Linen pants and a long-sleeve shirt more likely. You put me in a bikini and you'll have an untouchable red lobster in less than an hour. Me and the sun? Yeah, we don't get along so well."

Nikki turned completely to Shepard and gently caressed her closest arm. She raised her eyebrows and questioned, "So, should I focus on keeping you touchable, Shepard?"

Shepard blushed and squeaked out a "Maybe..." She cleared her throat in embarrassment and started again. "Uhm. Maybe... I think we should keep our options open?"

Nikki let out a throaty laugh, "Ah, the tough soldier has a shy side. But being the optimist that I am, I'll take the opportunity to point out Zona Sul, right.... there." She leaned in against Shepard and lined up their eyes to look the same direction over her finger, which was pointed at a region of upscale neighborhoods. "That's where my apartment is. I'd love to have you over and show you the view from my balcony."

Shepard closed her eyes and breathed in the fragrance from Nikki's shampoo; it was the sharp and clean scent of eucalyptus and it was invigorating. When Nikki leaned in, she had pinned Shepard's arm against her stomach. Shepard slid that arm out and Nikki leaned back, her back pressing onto Shepard's front as Shepard encircled her waist and pulled her tighter, enjoying the sensation of Nikki's warmth travelling through her lightweight linen shirt. "This is... nice, Nikki. I'm not sure what I expected of tonight, but I like it so far." Shepard grinned and gently ran her free hand up and down Nikki's arm.

Nikki closed her eyes and just absorbed the sensations running through her body from Shepard's soft caress. "Me too, Samantha. I'm ready to head down whenever you are."

Nikki turned and leaned out just a bit so she could look at Shepard's face. As they made eye contact she briefly considered leaning in and kissing Shepard, but the moment passed when Shepard released her hold on Nikki's waist and pushed her away a bit. One of Shepard's eyebrows cocked up as she started to speak, "Yeah, I think I'd like to head down and grab some dinner...so, we head to the Lapa district?"

Nikki cursed to herself, wondering if Shepard had somehow sensed what she was about to do and if she had moved too fast and made Shepard back off, or if Shepard was just being her shy self. She honestly hoped it was the latter. To recover, she stood up straight and stepped away. "Fine. In the mood for anything in particular?" She flashed a smile and held out her hand in invitation.

Shepard smiled and took her hand, "A taste of Rio. You're the guide; you choose." With that, they walked back to the cog train and rode its groaning self back down to the parking area and Nikki's skycar. They had a wonderful seafood dinner at a restaurant on the boardwalk and then wandered through the city on foot until they found a quiet corner wine bar. They sat at an outdoor table, enjoying the beautiful weather and the vibrant nightlife that constantly moved past their small spot of tranquility. Shepard suddenly got quiet, and then placed her hand up on the table, palm up, inviting Nikki to do the same and take her hand. Shepard looked at their hands, together at the center of the table, and started to speak softly. "Nik, we need to talk."

Seeing the expression on Nikki's face made her laugh lightly and she started over. "Oh, Gods. That sounded horrible. It's not a brush off, believe me. You can relax. I just need to tell you some things about me before we can move forward." Shepard took a deep breath and pressed on. "There's a very dear friend of mine, her name is Culver..." Shepard went on to explain how she had met Culver, the things they had gone through, and the status of their unique relationship. "I just need you to know she exists, and that if something good happens between you and I, you can't be jealous of that friendship. Culver and I will always be extremely close... it's a bond forged in fire and I'll always love her. I won't ever not see her, not for anyone. You have to be able to trust me and know that I won't mess around on you." Shepard watched the expressions crossing Nikki's face as she continued explaining. "I've also had a couple of other... casual encounters, for lack of a better definition, and I've figured out they're not for me. I can't deal with the way I feel afterward, like it was just sex and meant nothing. To me, sex is a very intimate act, and it should never mean nothing..."

Shepard blushed and looked away, not at anything in particular, just away. She felt Nikki squeeze her hand in silent encouragement. She glanced back, meeting Nikki's eyes for the briefest of moments before looking back down at their joined hands. "So, anyway. That's just me. I just... I tried it, and I can't do casual. So, you and I can be friends or we can be lovers, but there isn't much in between but the time to get to know one another." Shepard looked up and held Nikki's eyes, seeing what she hoped was acceptance and agreement. "I sensed something from you earlier, up on the mountain, and just had to get that out, so I didn't lead you to any false expectations." Shepard took a deep breath and blew it out between pursed lips.

Nikki's eyes shined in the city lights and she smiled as she squeezed Shepard's hand yet again. "Samantha, I sensed something special the moment I met you and I'm willing to take a chance on that. So, if I'm ok with a real, non-casual relationship, we can continue to drink our wine, continue to get to know one another, continue to enjoy your three days off, and we're good?"

Shepard's face picked up her cockeyed raffish grin and she breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Yeah, we're good. We're very good."


	14. Finishing Theshaca

**October 2179 - Theshaca Raids, Phase II**

The commandant met them all in one of the larger conference rooms. As usual, the room fell silent as he walked in, the entire group moving to stand at attention without a word spoken. He walked to the front of the room and flipped on a holoprojector. "Have a seat. We've all been here before, but the raiders are being pretty damn stubborn. They're trying to rebuild and have established a new base with everyone that was left over after our initial strikes. So, we're gonna hit 'em before they can finish." He flipped an image up as he continued speaking. "The site is already well defended; they've put everything they have around this one, so we have to go in force. All eight teams will be required and we'll go in with double squads, four groups of twelve, each from a different direction."

He glanced around the room before continuing. "I'm not going to lie to you. This is going to be tough and we're probably going to lose people, but if we hit 'em hard now, they'll not recover for a very, very long time. Each of the team leads has received a mission folder with their drop zone and strike points. Work with your handlers to establish your ingress route and an emergency egress route in case everything goes to hell. We leave at 0400 hours tomorrow morning."

The enhanced Alpha squad worked together for a couple of hours evaluating their possible routes and found a somewhat meandering path through some low hills that would give them good coverage from the antiaircraft guns most of the way in. Once in range, they'd use a couple of heavy weapons to take down the defensive towers and then begin the actual ground assault. The plan was a good one, and once all four teams had their battle plans approved, they were dismissed until the morning muster.

Shepard briefed the entire squad, including the shuttle pilot for the ingress and egress routes. As the teams loaded up the next morning, Major Hudson approached Shepard and clasped forearms with her. "Do me proud, Shepard. Eliminate the threat and bring everyone home."

Shepard grinned, "I'll do my best, Sir. We've got a good plan and we have eight squads going in. Those pirates won't know what hit 'em."

The shuttles lifted off at the designated time; four double-teams headed to the final pirate stronghold. The ingress route wasn't the easiest thing to fly, low and fast through the dark mountains, but it was certainly doable; what Shepard didn't realize was her assigned shuttle pilot wasn't exactly in top form. He had been grounded for a while and was out of practice, and the complex route caused him to quickly fall behind the attack timeline. He hastily calculated a way to make up the time, picked a hill to hop over, and cut a corner instead of following the sheltered route between the hills. He planned to be up and down again before the antiaircraft guns could get a target lock on the shuttle. Shepard had no inkling he was planning a deviation until she felt the shuttle rising. She sprang from her seat and ran forward just in time to see the nose of their shuttle crest the hill top.

She saw the puff of smoke from the antiaircraft cannon as she shouted, "Mackey! Get our ass back down in the valley! Now!"

The surprised pilot took two seconds to glance over his shoulder at the lieutenant instead of reacting to her request and it cost him his life. Shepard saw the smoke trail headed straight at them and shouted, "Incoming!"

She turned and dove behind the cabin bulkhead and wadded herself up into a protective ball. The crew reacted immediately to her warning, moving to brace positions as best they were able with all their gear cluttered around them, but their efforts were too little, too late. The cockpit of the shuttle disintegrated with the impact of the explosive round and the inside of the shuttle was instantly filled by a tornado. Wind and noise ripped through the passenger compartment as the shuttle tumbled uncontrolled into the rugged hillside and disappeared in the early morning darkness.

\-------------------------------

Shepard groaned as she opened her eyes to Ensign Masters leaning over top of her. The expression on Masters' face was pure relief as Shepard regained consciousness. "Oh, thank God!" Masters waived her omnitool over the lieutenant one last time before speaking again. "You'll be ok, ma'am, but you're gonna be sore as hell. You dislocated your shoulder and smacked your head... you have a pretty good concussion, but that's it. Surprising, considering you were out of your harness for the crash."

Shepard jerked herself upright at the word 'crash' and looked around at the disaster in front of her. The cockpit had taken a direct hit and was just plain gone; no hope the pilot, Lieutenant Peter Mackey, had survived. She glanced at the medic, "Shit. What have we got, Liz?"

Liz shook her head, "Nothing good, Shepard. Five walking wounded, you included. Five dead and three seriously injured, not sure how long they'll last. Jon and Lieutenant Riley are helping the three criticals, Josie, Sergeant Degregorio, and Specialist Zettle. The mobiles are you, me, Jon, Riley and the second team infiltrator, Sergeant Smidt." She hesitated and didn't want to list the dead.

"Damn. That means we lost Buzz and Biggs. What the hell am I gonna tell Sally?" Shepard didn't expect an answer, so shook her head and pressed on. "So, the other N6, Lieutenant Mac Thompson?"

Liz frowned. "Dead, ma'am. Along with their Adept, Lieutenant Low... and considering we no longer have a cockpit, I can only assume Mackey is gone as well."

Shepard grimaced as she stood up. "Yeah, he's gone. Explosive round ripped open the front of the shuttle. No way he survived that encounter." Shepard glanced around and found her target. "Smidt, you're with me. We're pulling the dead out of here and lining 'em up outside. We'll clear the shuttle as cover for the living."

They worked quickly and soon had the four dead they could account for lined up on the ground outside the shuttle, including the monstrous bulk of Buzz Mitchell. Shepard looked at the bodies and shook her head in disgust before momentarily closing her eyes to refocus on the task at hand. Inside the shuttle, Liz, Jon and Lee Riley made the three injured as comfortable as possible. Shepard stuck her head back in the door and made eye contact with her medic, "Liz. I'm leaving these three in your capable hands. The rest of us have to move; we can't even think of getting an evac in here until we know for sure all the AA towers are down. You good?"

Liz gave her a weak smile, "Five by five, ma'am. Isn't anything here you can do to help these poor saps.... I know you've got a mission to finish and trying to tell you not to go would be a waste of breath... but no Vanguard charges. You do that with your concussion and you'll be doing nothing but swimming in your own puke. So, go blow those bastards to hell, Shepard."

Shepard gave a quick nod. "Ok, folks. You heard the lady. Grab the heavy weapons and let's move. We've got a tower to take down and pirates to kill."

Shepard and her small team headed out on foot, knowing they were going to be both late to the fight and very shorthanded. With only two engineers, a sniper and a handicapped Vanguard left from their team of twelve, unless they merged with another squad they would be relegated to the backfield as support troops. They climbed to the crest of the hill the shuttle had crashed into and sighted the AA tower. Riley chimed in, "easy enough to augment the targeting system on the heavies. We can hit that tower from here, Shepard."

Shepard glowered at the AA cannons. "Do it."

Riley worked for a few moments on her omnitool to modify the targeting software on the two heavy weapons then looked at Jon. "Ready?" With a nod from the other Engineer, Riley looked at their sniper. "Smidt, paint that cannon with your laser."

The instant Smidt said "go," Riley and Hills simultaneously launched two rockets toward the tower, quickly reloaded and launched two more. Three seconds of travel time and four direct hits later, the four-man team growled in satisfaction as the AA tower collapsed in a pile of rubble. As the team worked their way to the next crest, Jon looked to Riley and spoke, "that's a neat trick. You'll have to show me that targeting hack."

Riley gave him a sidelong glance, with a hint of a smirk on her face. "I don't _have_ to show you anything. You really think I'd give away my trade secrets?" She chuckled quietly at the shocked expression she got in return, then promptly passed the hack to his omnitool.

They topped the crest and peered down into the valley before them. The other three teams were heavily engaged and Shepard cursed, frustrated by being unable to jump into the battle. She looked to her team, "Smidt. Stay here and provide supporting fire as you see fit. Weapons free." She glanced at the two Engineers. "We're no good alone. From up here, it looks like squad Charlie could use our help the most. Getting from here to there is another thing entirely."

Riley glanced over. "As a team, yes, I would agree, but there's plenty of cover down there if we move independently. I say we split up and rendezvous with Charlie whenever and however we can."

Shepard nodded. "That could work, but we need to take out those defensive positions first." She pointed down at two automated gun turrets. "They'll pin us down and leave us hanging high and dry against a flanking maneuver."

Riley shrugged her shoulders. "Well, Jon and I each have a rocket left yet. I'm thinking that's easy."

Shepard's eyes narrowed, "I like the way you think, Riley!" Two laser guided rocket shots later, the three team members were on the move under the watchful eye of their sniper on the hill.

**2179 - Vila Militar, Rio de Janeiro**

The remainder of the operation was fairly routine and in the end the Alliance casualty rate was twenty five percent; eight of the twelve dead were from Shepard's team. The trip back and the mission debrief were somber affairs. The accident investigation that followed was no better, and when Shepard stood to take responsibility as the team lead, Major Henderson stood against her. "Absolutely not, Shepard." Henderson growled at the young Lieutenant. "You briefed your mission route properly...I was there. Not to point fingers, but that jackass of a pilot performed an unauthorized deviation and it got eight people on your shuttle killed." Shepard went to speak and Henderson cut her off. "Stand down, Lieutenant! From the information we collected from the crew interviews, you realized what was going on before anyone else in the squad noticed, and you jumped to take action. The way everyone else saw it, Ensign Mackey froze and failed to initiate evasive maneuvers, even with very specific direction from you. Unless you had been sitting in the copilot's chair, there was absolutely nothing more you could have done about it other than warn your crew about what was coming...which you did. The fact that any of you walked away from that incident is a miracle. That four of you had the fortitude to rejoin the fight was amazing."

Shepard ground her teeth and briefly closed her eyes before returning to her seat in silence. When the proceedings were complete, Henderson approached her. "I know you don't agree with me, Shepard, but those deaths were not your fault."

Shepard nodded. "I know that, Sir, but fault and responsibility are not the same thing. They were my team. I was still responsible for their conduct and safety."

Henderson looked at her for a minute before responding. "Yes, you were, but shit happens. You can't control everything, and you certainly can't control five seconds of stupid." He paused briefly before continuing. "I know you don't like it, but the fact of the matter is Mackey screwed up; but he's just as dead as the rest and nobody benefits from laying the blame on him. No need to ruin anyone's career or devalue anyone's death over the actions of a dead man. So, officially, the eight records will record the cause of death as enemy action...the rocket impact and resultant shuttle crash in rough terrain."

Shepard's face was an impenetrable mask. "Understood, Sir. Anything else, Sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, there is. The N7 validation board met." Shepard's head came up sharply and she looked Henderson straight on, eye-to-eye, fully expecting to be launched back to the Alliance as an N6, but he surprised her. "Every N7 in the Alliance has made a hard decision that has cost the lives of their crew or the lives of innocents in the quest to stop a greater evil. You've repeatedly shown your ability to do just that throughout your career. The fact that you pulled your four battle-ready troops together and continued the mission after such a devastating loss just cemented our faith in your ability to overcome adversity. You're now an N7, Shepard. First one out of the gate. Your official assignment notification will come down the end of the week, but you're going to Second Fleet. I'm sure you remember Major Stevenson?"

Shepard nodded, "Yes, Sir. First Fleet RRT, SSV Leipzig. He recruited me right out of school. Kind of hard to forget."

Henderson continued, "Yup. That's him. Well, you'll be working with him very closely to set up a new counterpart organization that you'll lead in Second Fleet. Now that we've crushed the pirates, we want to make sure we have a response force to beat them down fast if they decide to try again. So, we're building a Second Fleet RRT to keep them from getting reestablished. Your support staff is already in place on the SSV New Delhi, and Stevenson will help you select your eight squad leads. The personnel division has already started the squad member selections, but you're welcome to request certain individuals, just like Stevenson recruited you."

Shepard shook her head in bewilderment. "Wow. That's all pretty quick, Sir, but I already know I'd like to take my four remaining squad members. I was planning to keep everyone on my squad as my N7 team anyway, and Smidt and Riley proved themselves, hands down." Shepard paused and took a deep breath. "If I may, Sir. Riley has serious potential. I know she's just a baby Marine, but she didn't hesitate in the slightest to step up as my second and fill the leadership void left by the loss of Mac Thompson. With two or three years in the RRT to season, I think she should follow me to the N7 program."

Henderson's eyes widened perceptibly. "Shepard, if it was just any old Lieutenant making that suggestion I'd laugh them right out the door, but you've proven to have a damn good head on your shoulders and I trust your battle sense. I'll keep an eye on her and see how she performs."

Henderson painted a smile on his face; it was quite the accomplishment under the circumstances, but the next announcement deserved the effort. "Of course there is one more thing. The RRT job puts you in command of more than fifty folks and is a Lieutenant Commander billet. Seeing as you're not eligible for promotion until your eighth year, you'll be frocked before you leave next week. You'll wear the rank and have the responsibility, but won't get paid as a Lieutenant Commander until you can officially occupy it. We can waive up to one year of the required eight years time in service, so your promotion will become official on the fifteenth of June next year, on the seventh anniversary of your commissioning."

Shepard got a faraway look on her face and her mouth twitched up to a small grin. Henderson raised his eyebrows in question and Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "Sir, remember our conversations about who I considered family... I mentioned Dr Karin Chakwas?" With a nod of recognition from Henderson, she continued. "Yeah, well. She told me this would happen when we talked about me going to N school, but she wasn't completely on the money. She didn't take frocking into account, but she still pretty much nailed it."

Henderson actually laughed. "Seems you have a lot of people who believe in you, Shepard. That's not a bad thing. Now get out of here. All squad members are on leave for the rest of the week. I'll notify you when your orders drop, and I'll notify personnel about the four squad members you plan on taking with you. They're waiting on you in the back...you want to tell them, or should I?"

Shepard answered Henderson while looking back at her team of four. "I got 'em, Sir. If I'm gonna drag them along out to the edges of civilization with me, I can at least have the courage to tell them so in person."

The tone of Henderson's voice drew her eyes back to the man when he spoke her name. "Shepard." When her eyes met his, he continued. "You're a hell of an officer. They're lucky to have you."

Shepard smiled gently. "No, Sir... You've got it backwards. I'm a hell of an officer because I've been lucky enough to have troops I trust covering my back."

With a final goodbye to Henderson, Shepard walked to the small group eagerly awaiting her. "Riley. Smidt. You're with us now. Come on. I'm taking you all to dinner and I'll tell you about our next assignment..."


	15. Until Death Do Us Part

**December 2180 - Rio de Janeiro**

When Shepard got off the shuttle, a very enthusiastic Nikki wrapped her in a tight embrace and kissed her chastely on the lips before they grinned at each other and left the docks, arm-in-arm. After they climbed into the skycar and got airborne, Nikki reached over and clasped Shepard's hand before speaking. "I'm so glad you're here for Christmas! How were things when you left?"

Shepard smiled as she said, "Ah, you know. Same shit, different day. There's never a shortage of someone trying to do something stupid. We've been up and running for over a year now, and the pirates still haven't accepted we're serious about not letting them get a foothold in the colonies again. So, they keep trying, and we keep stopping them." Her telltale raffish grin broke out on her face and she hugged Nikki close to her side as they continued to walk. "It's great job security, but it's also nice to be able to take a break."

Shepard let out a deep sigh and relaxed back in her seat for the ride home, as she thought about the last two and a half years since she'd met Nikki. The first seventeen months had been tremendously enjoyable once they decided to give being together a try. Almost every night Alpha squad had been free in Rio, Shepard spent her time with Nikki and their relationship had definitely blossomed. It provided the stalwart foundation they needed to survive the next thirteen months spent mostly apart. Once the 2d RRT was up and running, Shepard had managed to get back to Rio only twice, for a week each time, so she certainly looked forward to her two weeks off over the Christmas holiday.

Shepard had spent the first weekend of the break with her mom and Karin at Eden Prime and the remainder of the time with Nikki. They would have preferred to spend the entire time together with Hannah, but she was Captain of the SSV Agincourt and couldn't get that much time away from the fleet and though Nikki wasn't scheduled to work, she hadn't been able to get out of being on-call and had to stay close to Rio. As much as it chaffed, the state of affairs had compelled Shepard to split her time between the two locations. Nikki interrupted her musings, "Since Jon had no intermediate stops, he already stopped by and said to say hello, but also said he wasn't setting foot back over here until we've had at least forty-eight hours to get our 'miss you mambo' out of our systems. So, he'll come to dinner on Wednesday night."

Shepard blushed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she responded. "Your brother can be so... juvenile... some times. Since we're talking about guests, I got a message from Culver. She comes in Thursday night and can stay through Christmas Monday. She heads out on Tuesday morning. Oh, and she's got a room at the Vila; said she didn't want to _intrude_ on our personal space." Shepard flashed a grin at Nikki as the car settled into their parking space. They immediately entered the apartment and made their way to the bedroom so Shepard could drop her bag and hang up her clothes. As she finished, she stepped quickly to Nikki, grabbed her hand and pulled her close, wrapping her in an intimate embrace and kissing her deeply. When they broke, Shepard waggled her eyebrows and grinned wolfishly. "Soooo...maybe Jon has a point. Care to mambo?"

Nikki's eyes narrowed and she let out a deep-throated chuckle. She responded to the question by unbuttoning Shepard's shirt and gently pushing it off her shoulders. Her hands trailed down a pair of strong arms to Shepard's hands, which Nik guided to the hem of her own shirt, urging Shepard to do the same for her. Sam smiled, gripping the bottom of the pullover, and gently raised it over Nikki's head. She stopped before Nikki pulled her hands free of the sleeves and suddenly pushed Nik back onto the bed, keeping her hands trapped in the shirt, pinning them over her head against the bed. Nik's eyes flashed wide in a quick spark of panic and her heart started racing, before her mind caught up to her instincts and she grinned. "So, my Commander has returned from the pirate wars to pillage and claim rights of conquest?"

In response, she received a bright smile immediately followed by full body contact and a crush of Sam's lips on hers. Shepard's free hand undid Nik's bra and her mouth moved from lips to nipple, grazing it with her teeth before flicking it to a hard peak with rapid ministrations by her tongue. Nikki arched her back in pleasure and growled impatiently, "oh, I've missed you. You know you could be much more effective with both hands available." She glanced at Shepard through heavy-lidded eyes, narrowed in challenge. Her eyes grew wide once more, with the unexpected response to her prompt.

Shepard's eyes turned dark with desire as a blue glow formed around her fist and she planted a small stasis field over Nikki's entangled hands, freezing them in place. "Excellent idea, Nik."

Now having both hands free, Shepard let them wander teasingly over her lover's body while Nikki squirmed in futility, her body firmly anchored in place by a combination of the stasis bubble on her hands and Shepard's weight on her hips.

Nikki gasped as Samantha's mouth closed once again over a nipple, sucking it to a hard point. While one hand massaged the opposite breast, her second hand started undoing Nik's pants. Nikki squeaked, "Not fair, Shepard! That's cheating!"

Shepard released the nipple with a wet pop and grinned, "all's fair in love and war," as she slid down Nikki's body and took the pants and Nik's underwear with her, leaving her pinned lover completely naked and completely at her mercy. Shepard knew the weak stasis wouldn't hold; it wasn't one of her stronger talents, so it was more a 'strong suggestion' than an actual stasis field. Even Nikki, a non-biotic and completely untrained, could break it easily.

Nikki's body shuddered in pleasant expectation as she closed her eyes and whispered, "Oh, God."

Shepard knelt at the edge of the bed and gripped Nikki's legs, massaging her taut hamstrings for a few moments before whispering, "For all your protests, you are most certainly ready and eager, Miss Hills."

Nik pushed her hips up off the bed, trying to get more contact. "God, Sam. Please don't tease! I want you!"

Shepard laughed gently, "who's the conquering hero and who's the prisoner, here, to be making such demands?" Still, even as she spoke, Shepard began to massage an eager little nub with her thumb, and ran gentle circles through delicate folds below, continuing to incite pleasure. As Nikki's excitement swelled, Sam continued to work her magic and Nikki began to breathe fast and heavy, her exhales punctuated with grunts of pleasure. Now free of the pitifully weak stasis but still bound up in the shirt, her hands had found their way to the back of Samantha's head, providing Shepard encouragement to continue exactly what she was doing.

As Samantha took things to the next level, Nikki growled with desire. "Oh God! ... Yes ... Please!"

As Nik's hips rocked in tempo with Shepard's thrusts, Shepard's free hand slid up Nik's torso and found a firm breast, its upright nipple begging for attention. Shepard rolled it in her fingertips and pinched it gently, then followed up with a firm massage of the entire breast, cupping it in full with her hot hand. With the combined stimulation, Nikki came hard, her hips jerking one last time with the surge of her orgasm as she called out Shepard's name. As Nikki came down off her high, Samantha helped her get detangled from the shirt, and as soon as her hands were free, she quickly grabbed Shepard by the shoulders and pulled her up next to her on the bed, partaking in a sensuous kiss that left them both breathless. At the same time, one of her hands was busy undoing the front of Samantha's pants, and once unzipped, her fingers slipped quickly downward. Shepard cooperated fully, wiggling out of her jeans and gasping in pleasure as Nikki quickly repaid her in kind. She paused only long enough to issue a sultry whisper, "God, Sam. You are so tight for me!"

Having brought Nikki to peak, Samantha felt primed, but the speed of her arousal still caught her somewhat off guard and all she could do was stutter a reply, "Oh God, Nikki... I... I'm gonna...!" She swiftly climbed to the brink and her body spasmed quickly before stiffening in climax, her hips arching hard into her lover and her body rode the waves of multiple aftershocks as Nikki continued to tease until Samantha was so sensitive she begged Nikki to stop.

As Shepard collapsed into a contented boneless heap on the bed, Nikki whispered smugly into her ear, "that's payback for trapping my hands, Commander."

Shepard laughed softly. "God, Nik. If you consider that payback, I'm going to buy a pair of handcuffs so you're actually restrained. Apparently you like it."

Nikki responded with a huff and a playful punch on the shoulder, before wrapping her partner in a tight embrace and engaging in yet another long passionate kissing session, just incredibly happy to have Shepard home for the holidays. After the initial desperate coupling, they slowed their tempo and continued to tenderly pleasure one another until a keen hunger for actual food drove them to get dressed and head to the kitchen. After dinner, they settled on the couch with some wine and watched vids, relaxing until exhaustion called them back to the bedroom to sleep.

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The week passed quickly, and as Thursday rolled around, Nikki had been unexpectedly called into work. Later than expected, Nikki practically ran back in the door. "God, Samantha! I'm so sorry I'm late!" She stopped short and took a deep breath. "I am, in no way, ready to go meet Culver. Why don't you just take the car and go get her while I shower and get changed?"

"Are you sure? I already messaged her, telling her we were running behind. I can wait for you to get ready." It had been a while since she'd seen Culver, so Shepard tried to relax and not look impatient.

Nikki nodded. "I'm absolutely positive. It's been a hectic day and I don't want to feel rushed. Besides. We've talked about this and I completely trust you, so take the time to go meet your friend and have some personal time with her. I'm sure you have lots of military crap to talk about and you'll feel more free to compare gun sizes or whatever it is you do, if I'm not looking over your shoulder."

Shepard laughed and shrugged. "Ok... but if it's just gonna be me and her, I'll leave you the car and take the bike." They chatted in the bedroom as Nikki stripped to jump in the shower and Shepard grabbed her hovercycle gear and the spare helmet from the closet. She captured Nikki before she left and caressed her face gently. "Thanks, Nik. We'll take our time, so take a deep breath, relax, enjoy a glass of wine, and we'll see you in a couple hours. Shepard planted a soft kiss on Nikki's lips and felt her lover relax into her embrace as the kiss lingered. "Consider that a promise for later."

Nikki sighed out a quiet reply, "Thank you... I needed that. It really was a disastrous day. I'll see you later. Tell Culver I said hello and I'm sorry I made you late."

Shepard smiled as they separated. "No such thing as late. I'm on vacation."

Shepard was actually very happy she took the hovercycle; the holiday traffic was horrible and the bike provided a lot more maneuverability than the skycar ever could have. She pulled up in front of the visiting officers' quarters and made her way to Culver's door. They tried to keep in touch with some regularity over omnitool but it had been over a year since they had seen one another in person. Shepard's last visit had been during her two-week medical leave after the Theshaca shuttle crash, before she stood up the Second Fleet RRT, and she had looked like hell. At first, Nikki had been angry about her wanting to go, thinking Shepard needed to stay home to recover, but Jon had spoken with her and explained why Shepard _needed_ to talk to Culver, to talk to her sister-in-arms about the eight people on her squad who had died. Nikki hadn't completely understood, but Jon helped her get over her anger at the situation; he made her realize this was part of the relationship with Culver that Shepard had warned her about, and being fair, Nikki realized she couldn't get in the way of that. She had ended up apologizing to Shepard for her behavior, and Nikki hadn't balked about her chats with Culver since.

As Shepard raised her hand to knock, the door flew open and a smiling Culver engulfed her in a hug. "Shep! Damn good to see you! I can't believe you still have the bike." Culver shook her head and held Shepard out at arms' length to give her an appraising once-over. "You're looking good. A hell of a lot better than last time I saw you."

Shepard laughed and closed the gap, kissing Culver on the cheek. "That's not very hard to do... I had serious issues last time you saw me. You're not lookin' so bad yourself, Colonel!"

"Bah. None of that shit. We're on leave... no ranks allowed. Come on in. Where's Nikki?"

Shepard explained about Nikki's on-call status and her need for time to decompress, so the two friends settled in with some beer and got caught up. Culver's new job in London was with the 103d Marine Division. She coordinated a large portion of the Alliance Special Operations and they were constantly on the go; if they weren't out on missions, they were somewhere training or running exercises in every environment imaginable. Culver popped up and saluted, "Any beach. Any planet. Any time," and the two got into a laughing fit that left them both breathless.

Shepard shook her head. "Shit, Culver. It really is good to see you. Seems the higher in rank we both go, the less time we have. I miss our chats." Shepard's face fell a little and Culver caught the change in expression.

"Hey. None of that. You know if you ever really need me, all you've got to do is message me, and I'll find a way to contact you as soon as I can." Culver's brow wrinkled with concern. "What's eating you?"

Shepard made a face and scrubbed the back of her neck. "Not much really. Just work shit. The damn pirates aren't giving it up. The whole first year we only lost three guys; only one month into the second year and we've already lost two more. Not setting a very good precedent for the rest of the year. The pirates are getting more bold and more organized and my gut tells me there's somebody new in town, but we can't figure out who it is or where they're hiding." Shepard grimaced. "I sure as hell don't want a repeat of Theshaca."

Culver sat and thought for a few moments before speaking. "Call in the 63d. Get some scouts out there and see what they find. If they can figure out the traffic patterns, maybe it will give you an idea of where they're building up."

Shepard nodded with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Thanks, Culver. That's a great idea...assuming they'll give me the assets. But at least it's a step toward positive action. Better than sitting on my ass being frustrated." Shepard stood up, "Come on. I'm sure Nik is wondering what bar we're drunk in by now. By the way, now that you're stationed in London, the bike's yours anytime you're in town. Nikki's got the skycar."

Culver got a huge grin on her face. "Sweet. I honestly can't believe you still have that old thing, but I'm not complaining. It sure is fun!"

\-------------------------------

As with any holiday, Christmas came and went, the time filled with family and fun, and before they realized, it was almost time for Shepard to head back out to the frontier. She and Nikki spent their last night together alone, surrounded by the thousands of anonymous revelers spending their holiday in Rio, starting with a romantic dinner at their favorite place in the Lapa district. They followed that with clubbing; even though Shepard wasn't a big fan of dancing, she did fine with slow tunes, so got on the floor once out of every fifteen or so songs. She never told anyone, but she could waltz and polka with the best of them, compliments of military formals, but found it more embarrassing than anything because she felt it made her the ultimate military geek. It was perfect, as the rest of the time they sat at a table and just felt the beat pulse in their veins and touch their souls as they held hands and stared in each other's eyes. Finally, Shepard leaned over and whispered in Nikki's ear. "Nik... how much do you like your job?"

Nikki wrinkled her brow in puzzlement, having no idea where the question came from or where Shepard was going with it. "Well, I love it... normally. The on-calls during the holidays can suck, but it pays well, and I enjoy the people I work with. And I've been hearing some pretty solid scuttlebutt that they're talking about a promotion from Regional Sales Director to the Vice President of South American Marketing. I've certainly been with them long enough for it to be true, but wasn't planning on saying anything to you until I knew for sure... Why?"

Shepard's expression was hard to read, but Nikki could tell she was conflicted about something. When the silence stretched on, Nikki gently bumped shoulders with her and prodded, "Sam?"

Shepard shook her head. "I can't ask you to do it." Nikki was getting ready to ask her, 'do what' when Shepard continued. "You have an awesome job, love what you do, and are on the brink of advancement to a prestigious position." Another pregnant pause and Nikki got annoyed with her lover's unaccustomed reticence, but before she griped, Shepard spoke again. "Nik. I'm two years in, with two years left yet on the Delhi. I'm a unit commander and I have private quarters..." She looked up and met Nikki's eyes. She didn't spell it out, but Nikki knew exactly what Shepard was considering as she finished her next statement. "But you'd be bored to death without your work..."

All her irritation fled wildly into the night and Nikki's jaw fell when the realization dawned that the question Shepard wouldn't ask was if Nikki would join her on the SSV New Delhi. She was flabbergasted and at a loss for words. "Samantha. I... I don't know what to say... to that."

Shepard dropped her eyes to their clasped hands on the table. "You don't have to say anything, Nik. I know it'd be terribly selfish to even ask. I know you'd be bored to death, and within a couple months you'd feel trapped and we'd be over. I know it's not realistic. I just miss you when I'm out there, and I'm really not looking forward to leaving tomorrow. This holiday has been fantastic."

Nikki shook herself out of her daze and reached over, lifting Shepard's chin until their eyes met once more. "Don't think for a second I would say no to wanting to be with you, if it was even remotely reasonable for me to think I could survive more than a couple of months confined to a ship." She released Shepard's chin and added her hand to the two already joined on the table, Shepard adding her second hand as well. "I love you, Samantha. Have no doubts, and know that I will always be here waiting for you to come home. It means a lot to know that you want me with you, and if I thought we could make it work, I'd be there in a New York minute."

Shepard sighed. "I know, Nik. I just... I wish I could give you more. You know it's not gonna be easy. It's still early in my career... and as long as I keep performing, they're going to keep me in the field in an operational unit, as long as they can. The way things are going, I'll probably get another command assignment after this, maybe a full company, then most likely an executive officer slot... then hopefully a ship of my own. Most likely a battle group frigate, assuming it happens." Shepard's melancholy was interrupted by a brief smile with the thought of her own ship before she returned to her gloominess. "Can we live this way for another fifteen to twenty years? Is it enough for you?" Shepard's face twisted with trepidation and her normally brilliant green eyes were clouded with worry.

"Hey!" Nikki leaned over and kissed Shepard, taking one of her hands away from the pile to caress her lover's cheek and then run her fingers through her silky auburn hair. "Stop it. I love you, and that's enough. You may not be physically here all the time, but it's not like we never talk. You're always here in spirit, and I'm happy with what we have, so don't fret. We're strong, and we'll take on the challenges as they come. And now the topic's on the table for consideration. We'll talk about it, ok?" Nikki had an endearing smile on her face and her eyes were filled with adoration for the woman before her.

Shepard shook her head. "Gahh! I don't know what I'm saying. Being all maudlin on our last night together. Bah humbug!" She laughed at herself and smiled back at Nik. "Sorry, sweetie. How 'bout one last dance before we head home?"

Nikki answered her by rising rapidly and holding out her hand in invitation. They paid their bar tab and waited for a slow song to take one more spin around the dance floor before finally crawling home and into bed. After a rather uncharacteristically gentle session of lovemaking, Shepard stretched out on her back and Nikki nestled into her shoulder, content in each other's embrace. Pressing a final kiss onto the crown of her lover's head, Shepard whispered, "I love you, Nikki Hills."

"And I love you, Samantha Shepard."


	16. For Whom the Bell Tolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little piece is in the game timeline, but I've moved it forward a couple years to pre-ME1 to fit my slightly AU story timeline. Apologies to the purists, but this is my story, and I'm sticking to it. It doesn't really affect much in the end. :-) Hope you enjoy!

**2181- Agebinium, Voyager Cluster, Amazon System**

Elanos Haliat sat at his desk deep in their mine hideout and stewed. It was bad enough the Second Fleet had actually assembled a rapid response team and were interfering with his operations, but he really couldn't believe the information he had just received... it was being coordinated by the same damn officer who ruined him at Elysium; Samantha Shepard. That was one name he would never forget... it had been plastered all over the news for months afterward.   Haliat had once been the undisputed top dog of the Terminus pirates and had rallied his forces for the take of the century. With the forces he had amassed and the monetary funding he was going to receive from the Batarians, it should have been easy to take the whole damn planet of Elysium and the Batarians would have rewarded him handsomely. He would have been set for life. Instead, a person who wasn't even supposed to be there managed to snatch victory from his fingertips and ruin him. Since then, he and what remained of his little ragtag band of followers were barely able to eke out a living. He grinned as he looked down at the Alliance espionage probe his men had brought back from their last mission. He had never dreamed he'd be able to get any form of revenge against Shepard. Haliat smirked. _That's all about to change!_

\-------------------------------

**2181 - Second Fleet Rapid Response Team, SSV New Delhi**

As soon as Shepard returned to the Second Fleet, she requested assistance from the Fifth Fleet, 63d Scout Flotilla, as Culver had suggested. Admiral Hackett agreed to the request and after a few months contacted her via a secure channel with some disturbing results. As Shepard took the call, she realized Hackett sounded somewhat hesitant. "Commander Shepard. I'm not sure if this is related to your request or not, but since you have assets in the area, I'm asking that you handle this personally, in your N7 capacity. It's highly sensitive and will require your utmost discretion." He paused, awaiting confirmation from Shepard.

"Of course, Sir. Whatever you need. I'm at your disposal." Shepard was very curious as to what required her personally, versus one of the normal RRT squads.

Hackett explained, "In the First Contact War, we fired a lot of espionage probes into Turian space. Scouts from the 63d picked up a 'mission complete' burst from one of them."

Shepard was somewhat shocked. "First Contact War? That was twenty five years ago! Where's it been in the meantime?"

"Exactly. And that's not the only problem." Hackett hesitated before his next statement. "When we launched those probes, we had no idea who we were fighting and we didn't want to risk compromising any of our technology, so they were built with a failsafe device. Shepard, that failsafe was a nuclear self-destruct capability. A 20-kiloton tactical fusion warhead."

Shepard couldn't contain her shock. "Holy shit! ... Uhh, sorry, Sir. Didn't mean to say that out loud." Shepard shook her head and scratched the back of her neck in nervous embarrassment.

Hackett cleared his throat and continued, "Don't worry about it, Commander. I understand the sentiment. If somebody found that probe and tampered with it... Well, I don't want to think of the consequences. They could take out a small city. I need you to take a team of your best, your most trustworthy, and go retrieve that probe, Shepard."

"Sir, I'm not saying no, but Turian space is a bit out of my territory. It's on the other side of Alliance space from where I'm sitting. Wouldn't someone from the 1st RRT more appropriate?"

Hackett didn't bat an eye. "That's why I'm wondering if it's connected to the problem you have the 63d working on. The burst transmission didn't come from Turian space. It came from your neck of the woods; Agebinium, in the Voyager Cluster. Could be it just got really lost and has been wandering the relay system since the war, but I don't believe that. I'm afraid someone found it and brought it there. Maybe to counter what you're trying to do. If that's the case, this could be a pretty high-risk mission, Shepard. Stay sharp. I need you to stay alive and bring that probe home."

As she completed her call with Hackett, Shepard was already running through her head the team she would need to put together for the mission. "Understood, Admiral. We'll get it done ASAP and I'll contact you for disposition instructions once we have it."

"Thanks, Shepard. I'll owe you one. Hackett, out."

\-------------------------------

**2181 - Agebinium, Voyager Cluster, Amazon System**

Shepard immediately put together a six-man team and they dropped via an M29 Grizzly to the planet's surface. Since they potentially had to disarm a nuke, both Specialist Jon Hills and Lieutenant Lee Riley were a good fit with their engineering skills, and she picked up the rest of her old squad because she trusted them and knew how they'd react under fire, so Engineer Lieutenant Liz Masters came along as their medic and Sergeant Paul Smidt joined the team as their sniper. The only unknown entity was their Adept, Bryan Lemay, but he came highly recommended from the Delta squad lead.

As soon as they followed the probe's beacon to the supposed crash site, Shepard knew Hackett was right to be worried. The probe hadn't crashed in the open; the beacon was emitting from somewhere inside a mine. Shepard looked at her squad. "Alright guys. By the numbers. That probe didn't crawl itself down into a mine, so we know for sure now that someone brought it here. My guess is they're inside waiting on us... or at least guarding the nuke. Let's just hope they don't blow it because they feel cornered."

The deeper they got into the mine without finding any guards, the more uncomfortable Shepard became. After entering through the main hatch, they had penetrated at least four or five levels, and eventually ran straight into the probe, not once crossing paths with any resistance. She couldn't believe someone would go through all the trouble to recover a nuke, just to leave it unprotected. As soon as the final hatch closed behind them, she understood why. An explosion rocked the cave, collapsing the tunnels behind them. Shepard cursed; she had led the entire team right into a trap and wasn't sure exactly how they were going to get out of it.

She didn't have much time to think about it before a communications device kicked on and some guy she didn't recognize started speaking... starting with her name, so it was obvious he knew her. "Shepard. At last."

She cocked her head a bit to the side as she spoke. "You have me at a disadvantage."

"You don't know me. I never got close enough for you to see my face, but no matter. I remember you. My name is Elanos Haliat. I doubt you know it. Who do you think runs the Terminus Clans, Shepard? That would be me. Five years ago we were doing really well. Until Elysium. Until you. That raid cost us a lot and it's taken us too long to recover. I am now correcting that failure on my part."

Shepard laughed. "You failed at Elysium. Why should you expect a different result here? It's no different. There's still an Alliance Cruiser parked in orbit. It'll just be a repeat of history."

Haliat grinned. "Oh, if you hadn't noticed, the ores here are laced with heavy metals. I'm afraid your suit radios aren't powerful enough to transmit out to ask for help. And by the time your ship realizes something must be wrong... you'll already be dead."

Shepard shrugged. "We'll find a way out of here, and then I'm going to hunt you down like the criminal you are. There will be nowhere you can hide."

It was Haliat's turn to laugh. "I rather doubt that. Enjoy your time short time with the probe you so _needed_ to locate. Good bye, Shepard."

As the transmission cut off, Haliat made a show of pressing a detonator button. The probe beeped and a countdown timer kicked on. "Shit!" Shepard moved quickly to the bomb and realized there were three separate hardpoints they had to disable. "Hills. Riley. You each take an end, I'll take the center. We've got less than a minute to disable this thing and I will be very disappointed if I don't' get the opportunity to kick Haliat's ass up between his shoulder blades!"

The other three team members hovered nervously as they went to work. Riley finished first, "I'm out!"

Shepard and Hills finished almost together, Hills stepping away just a fraction of a second sooner, with eight seconds left on the timer. Shepard growled as she turned away from the probe. "Gods be damned! Me and Dwyn are gonna have to talk!" She chuckled at the expression on the Adept's face. "Sorry Lemay. I know we're not supposed to make references to religion. The others are used to me by now. I apologize, but you can complain to the brass later. Right now, we need to find a way out of here and go kick some pirate ass."

Riley shrugged. "The way out is pretty obvious. We only passed one locked door on the way down here. We either hack through that and see where it goes, or we have a lot of rock to move."

Shepard grinned at her, "All right, smart ass. The job's all yours."

It actually didn't prove much of a challenge and the team was soon on their way out. When they reached the surface once again, they found themselves on a hillside above the original mine entrance, and they could see a relatively meager pirate force scattered between their Grizzly and the entrance, a dozen or so strong.

Shepard waved her team down. "Smidt. Find yourself some good cover, and we'll circle down to the bottom and approach from behind that hill. Once we engage and draw their attention, start picking them off from the back and move forward. Try to keep them from realizing you're working through their ranks from the rear. We'll do our best to keep them focused forward."

The team worked their way down the hill, Shepard mindful of the fact that she and Smidt were the only ones with decent armor...She pulled the team up short and spoke quietly before they crested the hill. "Listen up. You don't have the firepower or the armor to take these guys in a head to head. I can charge in and distract them. You guys throw out a tech attack to help bring shields down, then beat feet to the Grizzly. Get in, fire it up, and take 'em out with the big gun. Smidt should be taking one every three seconds, so we only have to survive thirty seconds or so. The minute I charge and draw their attention, you start moving."

Shepard picked up her SMG and crept to the top of the hill. The camp was ahead to the right in the background, and the Grizz was closer in, more toward the left side. She prepped her weapon and called up her biotics, charging off to some crates on the right side, hoping to draw the pirates' attention to her and away from the main team. She smashed into her first target as she heard the sniper rifle bark; two down, ten to go. She charged again and took out one more bad guy as she heard a second sniper shot and watched a couple pirates dropping their weapons that had just overheated in their hands. They both dropped with pistol shots to the head. Shepard snickered, knowing that was either Hills or Riley working their magic, if not both. When she saw a couple pirates lift into the air, she knew Lemay had just launched a singularity, and took advantage of a biotic combo by charging in and exploding it, killing both pirates within and tossing a couple more who were close by to the ground. She stepped in quickly and finished the close one with her omniblade, the second with her SMG from a few steps away. She heard another bark and assumed number eleven had just bit the dust.

She felt something ping off the back side of her shield and turned to find the enemy; she almost froze in her tracks. The man who just shot at her was Haliat, and he was standing over the still form of John Hills. _Son of a bitch!_ Shepard couldn't stop the low growl that escaped from her throat as she pulled her biotics and charged the self-proclaimed pirate leader. She smashed into him full force, tossing him like a ragdoll to the ground, and blasted him into oblivion by holding the trigger on the SMG until the weapon overheated and shut down. She suddenly came back to herself and looked around, wondering if there were any more targets to neutralize, but she didn't need to worry. Whoever had made it into the Grizzly had blasted away the last couple pirates and everything was still.

Shepard realized Haliat had anticipated her arrival and had used warp ammo, designed specifically to cut through biotic barriers and armor. She was lucky she had decent shields. With only light armor, most of her team had been particularly vulnerable and Jon Hills and Bryan Lemay had both paid the price. Shepard hung her head and stared at the ground, suddenly very tired and wondering how in the hell she was going to tell Nikki her little brother was dead. Her three remaining squad members gathered around in silence, unsure what to do for the distraught Shepard until Liz Masters walked over and gently took her arm. "Come on, Commander. Let's get this show on the road so we can take our boys home."

Shepard shook herself and took a deep breath before she called back to the New Delhi to request a bomb recovery team. Once back on board and enroute to Terra Nova, she made the call to Hackett to tell him everything that happened. As their conversation wrapped up, she hesitated for just a moment before making a request of the Admiral. "Sir, you said you'd owe me one if I pulled this off, and I need to call you on it."

Hackett's face wrinkled with concern at Shepard's tone of voice. "What do you need, Shepard?"

"Sir, I need a couple of weeks of personal time to escort Specialist Hills back to Sol."

Hackett was silent for a moment before responding, wondering if Shepard had broken regulation and engaged in a relationship with a subordinate. "This is likely to cause some waves in the pirate world, Shepard. I'd rather have you with the RRT to capitalize on the confusion within the pirate bands during the gap of leadership. Any particular reason for this request?"

"Yes, Sir. I... " Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then pressed on. "I'm dating Jon's sister, Sir. Have been for almost four years. I need to bring him home. In person."

Shepard appreciated the fact that Hackett didn't even blink; unaware that he had feared a much worse-case scenario. "I see...Most death notification teams are just that. A team. I can make arrangements for a death benefits officer from the Vila to meet you in Rio. Anyone else you want there?"

Shepard was about to say no one, then thought better of it. "Sir, if she's available, I'd like to have Lieutenant Colonel Sharon Culver, 103d Division, 1st Special Ops Battalion Commander, meet me in Rio. She also knows the family."

"Oh, she'll be available, Shepard. I'll see to it. Once you've made arrangements, send me your travel plans and I'll make sure Culver is there with the appropriate teams to transport and escort the fallen."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Don't thank me, Shepard. It's a hell of a thing you're doing. I don't envy you in the slightest. Hackett out."

\-------------------------------

**2181 - Vila Militar, Rio de Janeiro**

Culver was waiting at the docks with a full mortuary team when Shepard stepped off the transport. After handing the necessary paperwork over to the mortuary affairs officer, Shepard spoke to the death benefits officer and got all his contact information. "It would really surprise me if Nikki wants to talk to you today. We'll do the notification, and give her your information. She'll probably want to go to the morgue and then maybe call you tomorrow, but I don't really know."

The officer nodded his head knowingly. "I imagine that's fairly accurate. I'm available anytime, day or night. Let her know I don't care what time she calls. We've given Colonel Culver a car so you have independent transportation back and forth to the Vila."

Culver and Shepard got in the skycar, but Sharon made no effort to start the vehicle. "Shep. You want to talk about this? I assume we're throwing the standard notification process out the window?"

Shepard closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I've got a blank datapad with me and I'm going to transcribe all the contact info for Mortuary Affairs and the Death Benefits office onto it, so Nik has it available whenever she's ready. For the rest of it... I'm just going to tell her what happened. I just need you there as witness. And moral support." Shepard opened her eyes back up and looked to Culver, who nodded her head. "I'm sorry I dropped this on you, Sharon."

"No problem, Shep. You know I've got your back. Whatever you need." Culver started the skycar and got them airborne. "Does she know anything? That you're even coming?"

Shepard let out a long sigh. "No. She has absolutely no idea."

\-------------------------------

Since Nikki wasn't expecting her, Shepard knocked loudly as she opened the door and shouted out as she and Culver entered the apartment. "Nik? You here? I'm here with Culver."

They heard a happy squeal from the bedroom and Nikki came flying out, wrapping Shepard in a hug and planting a passionate kiss on her lips. When they broke, Nik glanced back and forth between her surprise visitors. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home for another month yet?" When she was greeted by silence, she backed off and looked at the somber faces before her. "Samantha? What's going on?" Nikki could tell something wasn't right, but her unexpected company was giving no hints.

Shepard closed her eyes and held out a hand to her lover. "Nik... we need to sit down and talk about something."

Nikki did not take the offered hand, instead, glancing back and forth between Shepard and Culver. Her face reflected confusion and a bit of fear, maybe even a hint of anger. "I don't think I want to sit. What the hell's going on? Why is Culver here?"

Shepard shook her head. "What the hell, Nik? Culver's here because I asked her to come with me. I need you to sit with me for a minute so we can talk."

Nikki raised her voice, "I don't want to sit down! What's going on? Are you leaving me?"

Shepard was shocked. "What? No! Where the hell did that come from? Of course I'm not leaving you!" Shepard took a deep breath and rubbed the back of her neck, pausing for just a moment. She squared her shoulders. "Fuck, Nik. You're making this harder than it already is. I just wanted to sit down before we got into it. Jon's dead. He was killed in a raid on a pirate stronghold out in the Voyager Cluster."

Nikki's face went ashen and she just stared at Shepard for a moment before her eyes flicked back and forth between the two women standing before her. She whispered, "What?"

Shepard reached for Nikki's hand and started speaking, "We were on ..."

Nikki yelled and took a step back, "Don't touch me!"

In her surprise at Nikki's outburst, Shepard also stepped back and withdrew her hand like she had just gotten burned. "Nik. I don't' know what happened. I was fighting and he was supposed to be getting into the Grizzly, but he didn't. I didn't even know he was behind me, and then when I turned around..." Tears ran down Shepard's face as she struggled to continue. "When I turned around he was already down on the ground. He was dead, and I didn't even know how it happened. He wasn't supposed to be there."

Nikki's eyes burned in anger. "He was my little brother! How could you let this happen?"

Shepard shook her head, "I know, Nik! He was my squad. He was my responsibility... but he should have been in the Grizzly. He wasn't supposed to follow me!"

"So this is his fault? You were supposed to be watching out for him!" Nikki glared at the hand Shepard was yet again reaching toward her, and she screamed, "I said don't touch me!"

Shepard swallowed hard and put her hands on her head for a quick second before she reached into her pocket and pulled out the datapad with all the contact information and instructions on it. She dropped it on the closest counter. "Fine. I won't touch you. I'm sorry, Nik. I let Jon down, I let you down. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." She pointed at the datapad. "That's all the information we need to take care of the funeral stuff... and there's also a number there for the benefits office. Jon didn't have anyone else. He listed you as his sole beneficiary. He left you everything."

They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, before Shepard finally started to speak again.   "I can take you ..."

Nikki stared at her and cut her off. "I don't want everything. I just want my brother. I think you should leave now."

Shepard's brow wrinkled. "What?"

"I said, I think you should leave now."

"Nik... I'm really sorry about Jon, but please don't shut me out. We need to talk about this." Shepard was at a loss for what to do and started to step toward Nikki again when a resounding _crack_ filled the air. Her head jerked from the force of the slap Nikki had just planted on her left cheek.

Nikki glared at her with a seething anger. "I am not... talking... to you... right now. Get. Out."

"Nikki!" Shepard was dumbfounded and went to step forward again when she felt a hand grip her shoulder. Culver kept her from taking that step forward and shook her head no.

"Come on, Shep. Now's not the time. I'll take you back to the Vila for the night." Culver looked at Nikki with sympathy, "Call us if you need anything. I'm sorry about Jon. He was a good man and he was a good soldier." With a final nod, she turned a stunned Shepard around and pushed her out the door.

As they left the apartment, they heard Nikki mutter, "Apparently not good enough," before she started to cry and slammed the door behind them.

Shepard went on autopilot and climbed back into the skycar, not saying a word the entire way back to the Vila and into Culver's temporary quarters. Once they got in the room, she plopped down on a chair at the table in the small efficiency kitchen and stared at nothing, still silent.

Culver looked at her friend with concern. "Hey, you want a beer?" Getting no answer, she popped one anyway and set it down in front of Shepard then got one for herself and sat down across from her. "Sorry, Shep. I don't even know where to begin. I never expected Nikki to react like that. By the way, we should get you some ice. You already have the start of a winner handprint on your cheek. Might already be too late."

A dazed Shepard picked up the beer in front of her and downed half of it, before setting the cool bottle against the side of her face. "What the hell was that, Culver? I mean... she looked at you, then asked why you were there, and then if I'm leaving her? We've never given her any reason to think that! What the fuck?"

Culver took a swig from her beer and shook her head. "I think maybe she actually guessed why we were there and was grasping at straws to come up with some other reason for us to be there, unscheduled like that. She didn't want to think about it."

"You don't think she really blames me, do you?" Shepard made eye contact with Culver so she could read the truthfulness of her response.

Culver shrugged and tried to soften the blow of her words. "In a way, yeah, I think she does. For her own reasons, she needs to put the blame somewhere other than Jon or just plain bad luck, and since she has no grip on who Haliat was... She just needs time to settle everything in her head. She'll come around."

"Yeah." Shepard chugged her remaining beer. "You want me to go to the office and get my own room, or you ok with me just crashing on your couch?"

Culver forced a cheeky grin to her face and spoke with strained levity. "Shep, I'd be ok with you crashing in my bed." The look she got from Shepard made her bark out an honest laugh. "Kidding, Shep. Been there, done that. You don't have anything I haven't seen, girlfriend." She closed out the statement with a wink.

Shepard appreciated the attempt to lighten the mood, but wanted nothing to do with that particular joke at the moment. "Not funny, Culver, but it's good to know you can still be an ass when you want to be. I guess that's something you never outgrow. I'll take the couch, thanks. Though I am gonna steal your extra pillow."

The next day, Shepard tried to talk to Nikki, but she wouldn't take any of her calls. The day after that, she got a text message telling her Nikki had left something for her at the lodging office. Nikki had put all her stuff from the apartment in a box and dropped it off at the front desk that morning. When Shepard picked up the box, it had all her stuff...Nikki had been very thorough... and a letter.

\-------------------------------

_Shepard,_

_We had a good run, but I can no longer see you. Our conversation that last night of your Christmas leave got me to thinking. Twenty years of only quarterly visits would not be enough, and I know both of us would have difficulty sacrificing our careers to make it work. But that's not really what this is all about anymore, is it? We can no longer sit down and talk about ways to make it work because now other things have gotten in the way. Insurmountable things. At least for me._

_With Jon's death, I can't look at anyone wearing an Alliance uniform without thinking of him, and it tears my heart out. I can't spend my life with someone who belongs to the organization that was directly or indirectly responsible for taking my only remaining family away from me. I don't_ blame _you, per se, but I do hold you responsible. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense to you. Whether it's fair or not, I can't say, my judgment is probably clouded, but it is the way I feel. And you know what they say about perception being reality._

_Don't worry about the apartment pass key. I've already paid the change fees and gotten a new one for myself, so you can just throw yours away. No need to send it back._

_I'm sorry I struck you the other night. I am just unbelievably angry right now and I just can't face you. Honestly, I do wish you well. Take care of yourself._

_Please cease your attempts to contact me. I'm sorry, but I can't bear the pain of what you now represent._

_Nikki_

\-------------------------------

Taking advantage of being in Rio, Culver spent the day checking out the newest N-school candidates to see if she should consider any for special operations recruitment. When she got back to her quarters, Shepard was nowhere to be seen, but she found the box and the note. She shook her head in disgust. _Damn you, Nikki!_ Dinner came and went and she attempted to call Shepard to no avail. When midnight rolled around and there was still no Shepard, Culver went on the hunt. She chased her down using an omnitool tracker and eventually found her in a hotel room, drunk off her ass, in bed with a blond-haired, blue-eyed Nikki replacement that she'd picked up at a bar in Lapa. Culver got her up and dressed. "Come on, Shep. You'll hate yourself in the morning. Time to go home."

Shepard's eyes were unfocused, but even in her drunken state she hadn't managed to kill the pain. Tears ran down her face as she looked at Culver and whispered, "I don't have a home anymore."

Culver shook her head. "Nonsense. You'll always have a home in the Alliance." She slid Shepard into the skycar on the passenger side and closed the door. Culver walked around to the other side, but before opening the driver's door and getting in, she whispered to herself, "and you'll always have a home with me."


	17. Of Diplomats and Pirates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first QuickShot to occur inside the timeframe of First Life. The first paragraph occurs during the first visit to the Citadel in Ch 3. The rest falls within Ch 5.

**2183 - Serpent Nebula, Citadel**

Nassana Dantius, an Asari diplomatic emissary assigned to the Citadel, sat in the Embassy Lounge and watched a very interesting scene unfold before her. A Systems Alliance Lieutenant Commander chewed up and spit out some poor clerk. Dantius quickly recognized that Shepard was a force to be reckoned with and filed that information away for possible later use. After she heard the commander had been selected to be the first human Spectre, the wheels started to turn and she soon came up with a plan to solve a particularly sticky problem that had been irritating her for a while. She merely had to wait for the right time to implement it.

**2183 - Artemis Tau cluster, SSV Normandy**

Shepard stood in front of the Normandy navigation console debating what to do. They had just retrieved Dr Liara T'Soni from the planet Therum in an operation that was not exactly textbook, but a success none the less. They still had one last lead on Saren, but because of injuries sustained on Therum, Dr Chakwas had assigned Shepard three days of light duty before she could go back out into the field. As much as Shepard wanted to input Feros as their next destination, they had to hang around for a couple more days before she was medically eligible to participate in any ground teams. As she contemplated her next course of action, Joker notified her of an incoming call.

"Commander Shepard, my name is Nassana Dantius. I have a job for you. I can't say any more in an unsecure communication. It's time sensitive, so I need you to come see me at the Citadel. I'll be waiting in the diplomat's lounge on the Presidium."

Shepard frowned. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be back on the Citadel any time soon. If it's time sensitive, you need to find someone else."

Shepard heard Nassana gasp. "Commander, this is critical. If you can't get here... Is there any way for you to contact me on a secure channel? I absolutely must speak with you on this matter! Please..."

Shepard heard the desperation in her voice. "Send me your secure contact info and I'll call you right back." She then contacted Joker. "Jeff, put us in orbit at the relay and hold while I find out what the heck is going on."

Once the secure link was established, Nassana told a story of how her sister Dahlia was a crewman on a cargo vessel that was taken by privateers, and how she had subsequently received a ransom request with a voice print as proof of life.

Shepard considered the implications quickly, before responding. "I think I know what you're going to ask me, because paying ransoms seldom actually meets with success. I'm sorry, Nassana, but my mission is very important. I can't divert off to the Terminus Systems to chase down slavers, no matter who they may have. You'll need to hire someone else."

Nassana replied just as quickly. "That's just it, Commander. You don't have to divert anywhere. I tracked their transmission back through several comm buoys and it led to the Artemis Tau cluster. You're already there. They're on Sharjila, in the Macedon system. Please, Commander!"

Shepard was surprised that Nassana knew where they were. "I don't think I want to know how you know where I am right now, do I?"

The lie rolled easily off Nassana's tongue as she answered, "I work for the Asari government, Commander. Extortion against an Asari official is taken very seriously. When I took this to Councilor Tevos, she recommended I contact you immediately."

"I see." Shepard realized the diversion would cost her less than twelve hours, so agreed. "I'll do this, but I can't offer any promises. And I need to continue my mission, so Dahlia may end up a guest of the Normandy until I can get her back to Citadel space. I can't offer you any type of timeframe, not even for a confirmation as to whether or not we are successful, but I'll try to let you know what we find."

Since the communication was audio only, Nassana smiled as she offered her response in her best distraught voice. "Understood, Commander. I... I leave this in your capable hands. Thank you." Nassana relaxed back in her chair with a smug expression on her face. _Perfect_.

**2183 - Artemis Tau cluster, Sharjila**

Based on the time sensitive nature of the mission, Shepard begged for a medical release from Karin, finally getting it when she promised both to take Wrex for the heavy lifting and to swear off any use of her Vanguard charge. "So help me, Shepard. You come back injured from the mission, this will be the last waiver you'll ever get from me. Understood?" Karin glared at the commander until she received confirmation the message was received and understood.

The team hit the ground with the Mako and did a quick scan. There were a couple of rare mineral deposits and a crashed probe that were definitely worth surveying and salvaging, and some type of outpost, removed from the main stronghold. Shepard decided to check it out, to make sure the slavers couldn't call for reinforcements and engage the team on two fronts. The camp ended up being abandoned, but salvage turned up a theoretical dissertation by some Asari Matriarch named Dilinaga. Shepard grabbed it up, thinking that perhaps Dr T'Soni would be interested in it. After stowing their salvage in the Mako, the team headed off to locate the pirate base. As they approached, they quickly discovered it had multiple watchtowers with snipers who would have to be incapacitated before the team could safely dismount the Mako. To that end, Wrex happily operated the guns and Tali was on the electronics suite, monitoring shields and radio traffic. After a few moments of frantic driving and dodging, the stronghold's exterior defenses were down.

As soon as they cleared the Mako. Tali worked at hacking the door lock. Once unlocked, the team rolled in through the door and were immediately swarmed by multiple hostiles. Wrex was in his element and charged forward, throwing warps and blasting away with his shotgun, with Shepard hot on his heels. Tali launched her attack drone and quickly took cover, immediately going to work at taking down the enemies' shields. As Shepard tossed out lifts, it was a fifty-fifty shot as to whether she would finish off the enemy with weapons fire or if Wrex would detonate it with a warp. Seeing how much Wrex loved to watch things explode, the warp method turned out to be pretty popular. It wasn't long before the facility was clear of hostiles and the search began for signs of any captives. There was only one closed room downstairs, which turned out to be a small office with a few small storage lockers. Tali had them open in a flash, and the team acquired some decent gear upgrades, complements of the pirate band. The team completed the sweep of the lower level with no sign of Dantius.

Shepard shook her head, "This isn't looking good. I have a feeling the captives have already been moved to another location. I doubt we're going to have very good news for her sister. I hope we didn't tip them off when we went to that abandoned camp first." The team eased into a stairwell and carefully moved to the upper level, weapons at the ready in case someone was trying to hide or catch the team by surprise. Wrex hoped there was someone up there, but his desire was left unsatisfied. The layout was identical to the first floor, and there was only one office upstairs as well. Just as Shepard feared, no captives and no Dahlia Dantius. Wrex and Shepard searched the various storage lockers while Tali hacked into the computer, hoping to find some clue as to where they may have moved any hostages.

The search was interrupted by a surprised exclamation from Tali. "Shepard! You're not going to like this... not one bit."

Shepard turned to the little Quarian with a frown. "What am I not going to like? Where did they take them?"

"They didn't take any captives anywhere. The sign-on for this computer... and all the messages moving back and forth? They belong to Dahlia Dantius."

Shepard stopped dead in her tracks. "What the hell? You telling me Dahlia wasn't kidnapped... that this is her office and she _ran_ the operation?" The scowl on Shepard's face indicated a storm was definitely brewing.

Tali almost shrunk in on herself, knowing what Shepard's reaction was going to be. "That's exactly what I'm saying, Shepard.   She was in charge... and based on this picture, she was the Asari we killed downstairs." Even though no one could see her face behind her envirosuit, Tali grimaced as she finished explaining. "And that's not all. There are messages in here back and forth to her sister. Nassana knew."

"Hell's bells! That bitch used me to eliminate a potential threat to her political career!" Shepard's face turned red with anger. "Tali, download that information and pass it to my omnitool. Nassana and I are gonna have a chat." Shepard kicked a nearby crate in frustration.

Wrex didn't help matters when he chuckled. "Looks like you just became a merc for hire, Shepard. Who knew you'd ever fall so low?"

His continued laughter was met by a withering glare from the commander as she growled a response, "You're lucky you're my favorite Krogan, Wrex."

"Ah. Just pulling your chain, Shepard. The Krogan are used to being screwed over by politicians. Welcome to the club." Wrex was still entertained by the whole chain of events, but at least he quit laughing out loud about it.

**2183 - Artemis Tau cluster, SSV Normandy**

Once they cleared the airlock, Shepard made a beeline to the comm room, not even bothering with a secure channel. Nassana answered quickly. "Commander Shepard, I didn't expect to hear back from you so soon..."

"Cut the act, Dantius. I know the truth now, and I don't appreciate you turning a Council Spectre into a hit man for hire. I downloaded enough information off the computer systems at the merc base to prove you knew all about their operation and that there was never any kidnapping. You're done."

Nessana scoffed. "Oh, please. You must understand why I did what I did. If I had reported my sister through proper channels, I would have been placed on suspension at a minimum. If she wasn't apprehended quickly, I may have lost my job completely. To me, that wasn't a viable option. I promise you'll be well compensated for your efforts on my behalf."

Shepard growled, "Don't 'oh, please' me and keep your blood money! I'm turning all the evidence we collected over to Tevos and C-Sec, but only because it may be a while before I return to the Citadel. And if for some reason they don't act on it right away, trust me, you don't want to still be on the Citadel when I do return."

The veracity of Shepard's response caught Dantius off guard. "Seems a bit harsh, don't you think, Commander?"

"I'm not a big fan of politics, I don't like being played, and I hate being lied to. Consider yourself warned." Shepard reached over and terminated the connection before Nassana had a chance to reply again. The commander shook her head in disgust. "You get all that, Joker?"

"Roger that, ma'am. I'll assemble all the logs and forward them to you to add to the data you collected from the base. Am I pointing the nose to Feros now, Commander?"

"Yes. We've wasted almost twelve hours in this system. We don't need to waste any more."

\-------------------------------

Shepard stepped into the medbay and talked briefly with Karin, letting the good doctor do a quick physical exam to prove she came away from Sharjila with no injuries. Karin practically smirked, "See, Commander. You really can be careful when properly motivated." Shepard just laughed and stepped into the back room to speak with Dr T'Soni.

As the door slid open, Liara practically jumped out of her chair. "C-Commander. It's... uhm... nice to see you. Are you coming to check up on me?" Liara was obviously nervous and fiddled with her science suit as if to make sure she had it on correctly and all zipped up. Even after she smoothed all the nonexistent wrinkles, she still fidgeted with her hands. She must have realized what she was doing, because she suddenly squared her shoulders and clasped her hands behind her back. She was still fidgeting, but at least her hands were where the commander could no longer see how nervous she was.

"I just wanted to make sure your accommodations were satisfactory and that you have everything you need." Shepard smiled at the young researcher, trying to put her more at ease.

"Oh, yes, Commander. It is more than adequate. Much more than I expected actually." Liara hesitated for a moment and shifted her eyes to look down at the floor before continuing. "I do not mean to offend, but... I was unsure as to what my status would be when I first came aboard. I know you said that _you_ trust me, but I can tell by the looks I get from the crew that the rest do not feel the same. I... I was unsure when I first awoke if I was a passenger or... a prisoner." Liara's posture broke and she started to wring her hands again for just a moment before she folded her arms across her stomach in a protective posture.

Shepard shook her head. "I'm sorry, Liara. I should have been more clear about your status when you woke up in the medbay. I certainly didn't mean to cause you any uncertainty or distress. I imagine you have it figured out by now. After all, I don't make a habit of personally delivering food to prisoners." Shepard smiled again as she finished, "You do understand you are a full-fledged member of the crew now, right?"

Liara blushed and quietly responded. "Yes, Commander. I appreciate the faith and trust you have placed in me. I can only hope to live up to your expectations." She paused only briefly before continuing. "I never did properly thank you for saving me from the Geth. If you had not shown up, I..."

Shepard's expression turned serious. "I'm just glad we got there in time." It was Shepard's turn to pause as she tried to remember what she had been talking about. "Anyway, as a crew member, the Normandy obviously provides room and board, and if you require any specialty equipment or gear in addition to what has been provided, just let me know and we'll try to get it for you." The smile returned to Shepard's face. "I'm glad to have you aboard, Liara."

Liara smiled back for the first time. "I am happy to be here, Commander. Given the circumstances, I feel much more secure with you... uhm... on the Normandy, that is, than at the dig site." Liara cursed at herself for letting that slip, but was relieved when the Commander seemed to take no notice of her wording.

Shepard's eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh, hey. Speaking of dig sites...when we were on Sharjila, we came across an abandoned camp and when we dug through the crates we came across this writing by Matriarch Dilinaga." Shepard dug it out of her pocket and handed it over to the surprised Asari. "Thought it might interest you."

Liara was stunned. "Commander Shepard! Matriarchal writings from our age of interstellar exploration are cultural treasures to my people! This is extremely valuable... Why would you give this to me? If you turned it over to Councilor Tevos, it would certainly curry favor!"

Shepard practically snorted. "Any favor I got from the council would be short-lived at best. Besides, you're the archeologist... Even though it's not related to the Protheans, I still have more faith in you than in the councilor to make sure it gets into the right hands."

Liara was still in shock at what she was holding in her hand. "Goddess. I cannot possibly thank you enough, Commander. I will certainly ensure this gets to the Thessia Guildhall for study."

"I'm glad you like it, Liara. I'll see you later." No longer angry over the whole Dantius incident, Shepard was grinning ear-to-ear when she walked out, caught up in the Asari's enthusiasm and feeling inordinately pleased with the ability to bring a smile to the archeologist's face. The trip to Sharjila had been worthwhile, after all.


	18. I Wanna Kiss a Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally meaningless fluff. Almost. It does explain more of what Shepard was thinking and feeling after she first met Dr T'Soni, and why she came to call Liara 'Blue' ... and it wasn't solely because of the color of her skin. Occurs at the very start of First Life, Ch 6, as Shepard decides to try to go to sleep... Chapter Title/song come from Keith Urban's "Kiss A Girl"

**September 2183 - SSV Normandy SR-1**

Shepard returned to her room, thinking of her conversation with Liara, extremely happy there was a chance her feelings were reciprocated. It was hard for the commander to pinpoint when exactly the attraction started; it was difficult to admit it was love at first sight. _That doesn't happen in real life...does it?_ Fortunately, Liara wasn't Alliance; she was more of a civilian consultant, so they wouldn't really be breaking regulation. _Still, kind of threading a needle there, so probably better if we keep our feelings close to the chest and not advertise to the crew._ Shepard's memory inadvertently slipped back in time to Nikki Hills. How their relationship ended was certainly not a pleasant memory, but the break up was now two years in the past, and as Shepard collapsed into her bed, she started to snicker. A song had popped into her head that seemed rather appropriate. She felt compelled to get back up, find it in the archives and play it. She was exhausted and she couldn't dance solo worth a crap, but when the music started she couldn't help but bebop around the room as she sang.

_To kiss and tell, it's just not my style._

_But the night is young, and it's been awhile, and she broke my heart, broke it right in two,_

_and it took some time but I'm feelin' like I'm finally ready to find, find somebody new_

_I wanna kiss a girl_

_I_ _wanna hold her tight_

_Maybe make a little magic in the moonlight_

_Don't_ _wanna go too far just to take it slow_

_But I shouldn't be lonely in this big old world_

_I wanna kiss a girl_

Liara was beautiful, no doubt. Of course, Shepard didn't believe she'd ever met an Asari that wasn't a looker, but Liara was special. The expressions on her face were endearing, and her eyes... those gorgeous, radiant blue eyes... spoke volumes. But in all reality, it was more than the looks. She was also intelligent, charming, and so many other things that Shepard couldn't put a name to. There was something exceptional about the woman that just made Shepard's breath come a little quicker, made her heart beat a little faster. It was just a feeling of simple... innocence? Purity? No, it wasn't so simple that it could be any one solitary thing; it was everything that made up the whole. Liara's lack of experience with humans brought a fresh perspective. It was like, through Liara's eyes, Shepard was able to honestly see the human race for the first time. It has surprised Shepard when the shy Asari was first to voice an attraction, though Liara hadn't called it that. Liara had called Shepard 'compelling' and stated that she felt they shared some sort of 'connection,' very unexpected given the short time they had known one another.

_It's that moment when you start closin' in_

_First you're holding back, then surrenderin'_

_It can start a fire, light up the sky, such a simple thing._

_Do you wanna try?_

_Are you ready to say good-bye to all these blues?_

_I wanna kiss a girl_

_I wanna hold her tight_

_Maybe make a little magic in the moonlight_

_Don't wanna go too far just to take it slow_

_But I shouldn't be lonely in this big old world_

_I wanna kiss a girl_

Shepard laughed. She certainly wasn't ready to say good-bye to the blues... She was ready to say hello, to one special Blue in particular! Whatever it was between them, they both voiced their mutual interest tonight, and Shepard had great hope for a potential relationship in the future. _I can see how it very easily could grow to something more..._ Even in the short term, it would be a pleasant diversion for times when the weight of the galaxy seemed just a little too heavy to bear. In her nervousness, once she revealed her feelings, Liara looked everywhere but at Samantha. Shepard had to actually take hold of Liara's chin and keep her from looking away in order to renew eye contact. When Shepard confessed to feeling the same, Liara blushed a lovely deeper shade of blue and broke the hold, looking away once more, apparently a bit overwhelmed.

_'Cause maybe tonight it could turn into the rest of our lives, oh yeah._

_Are you ready? Are you ready..to cross that line, put your lips on mine?_

_Do you wanna try?_

_Are you ready to say good-bye to all these blues?_

_I wanna kiss a girl_

_I wanna hold her tight_

_Maybe make a little magic baby_

Shepard had stepped in with the intent to maybe taste the young archeologist's sweet lips, but as she closed the gap, Liara took in a sharp breath and literally froze. Liara wasn't ready; she didn't even breathe. Her whole body trembled with an edgy trepidation, yet she didn't pull away, either. Sensing Liara's anxiety, Shepard cautiously cupped Liara's face with both hands and gently kissed her on the forehead before whispering in her ear, "You intrigue me, as well... I'm not going anywhere. Goodnight, Liara." As Samantha stepped back, she dropped her hands to Liara's shoulders and drifted with a gentle touch down her arms, finally clasping Liara's trembling hands with a tender caress. With one last smile for the enchanting Asari before her, Samantha turned and left the room. As the door closed behind her, Shepard grinned and shook her head when she heard the explosive exhale come out of the Asari.

Shepard was ok with taking things slow, given Liara's youth and inexperience, and hoped she hadn't pressed too hard. At the same time though, Shepard hoped Liara didn't feel the kiss on the forehead was patronizing, that Shepard was treating her like a child. _All good things come to those who wait, and Liara is definitely worth waiting for._ Content with tender thoughts of Dr Liara T'Soni, Shepard finally fell into bed and drifted off to sleep.


	19. Hell's Hounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half of this story occurs just before they pick up Liara, so during First Life, between Ch 3 and 4. The second half occurs after Shepard and Liara have surrendered to the fact they are unavoidably attracted to one another, so between Ch 9 and 10.

**2183 - Artemis Tau cluster, Sparta system**

Spectre or not, in Shepard's eyes, locating an entire squad of missing marines took precedence over finding some Asari scientist who may or may not be able to help them.  She found it hard to believe the Council stonewalled Admiral Kahoku and wouldn't even give him a hearing.  So, Shepard, Garrus and Ashley found themselves in the Mako and dropped on the planet Edolus.  Edolus wasn't the most hospitable place; if the freezing temperature and the non-breathable atmosphere weren't enough, there was also the combination of a neighboring gas giant and an asteroid belt which delivered a constant supply of meteors impacting the planet's surface.  If you were lucky, it made exploration interesting; if unlucky, it made it deadly.

When the Mako made surface contact, Ashley chipped in the moment sensors came on line. "Ma'am.  We've got four contacts... one immediately behind us appears to be a burning M29 Grizzly, no organic signatures.  A few mineral deposits, an unknown electronic signature, and the emergency beacon.  No signs of hostiles, organic or... otherwise."  Ashley added that last bit thinking of the Geth before continuing, "The beacon is almost dead ahead, just a couple klicks."

"Thanks, Chief.  I want you on the machine gun.  Garrus, take the cannon.  Just in case."  She didn't look at either, just accepted their verbal acknowledgements as she focused on driving the ungainly Mako.  Fortunately, the terrain wasn't difficult, but she still had to concentrate on where she was going because some rather large meteors were keeping things a bit interesting.  They were easy enough to spot with their blazing smoke trails, and their purely ballistic paths made their impact point easy enough to predict and dodge... as long as one was paying attention.

They quickly eased up on an open mesa, surrounded by a ring of relatively low hills.  Almost dead center on the mesa was another M29 Grizzly, with the emergency beacon not far away.  With three sets of eyes on target, no one saw even the slightest hint of movement.  Shepard sighed heavily, realizing quickly that any Marines here were now just corpses covered by blowing dust.  "Chief, you didn't see any sign of the ship that brought them here, did you?"

Realization dawned in Ashley's eyes and she responded quickly.  "No ma'am, I didn't.  Something's not right here, huh.  If they were stranded, there should be a crashed shuttle at the very least; and with a Griz, there should be at least a large frigate...or someone should have survived to report the accident."

Garrus flipped his mandibles in irritation as he started to follow the gist of the conversation.  "Sooo... you're saying they were dropped off here and this was a set-up?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed as she spoke, "Yeah.  Got it in one, Vakarian.  Even if it was pirates... if they took the time to follow them down here to kill them and steal their ship, they would have taken the extra couple minutes to disable the beacon to give themselves more time to get away before someone responded."  Rather than head straight at the beacon, Shepard eased forward slowly, turning the wheel to take the Mako around the perimeter of the mesa, hoping to determine the nature of the trap before it was sprung.  They hadn't gotten very far before the very ground they were driving on shook viciously.  Shepard slammed her foot down on the accelerator and yelled, "Shit!  Thresher nest!"  She promptly drove the Mako up the side of the hill to her left, trying to get clear of the mesa bottom.  Not two seconds later, a huge thresher maw rose quickly from the sand where the Mako had been sitting mere moments before, looming over the vehicle and turning to face them as they attempted retreat.

Shepard quickly realized they were not going to climb the mesa wall fast enough to effectively dodge an attack and yanked the wheel to drop the Mako back to the Mesa floor.  She hit the boosters for just a moment to separate them from the wall and put them in a freefall, taking them to the bottom faster than what the Mako could do driving down the slope.  Just as she did so, the maw let loose a gob of acid spit, which hit harmlessly on the cliff wall they just vacated.  The minute the Mako hit the mesa floor, Ashley gave a whoop and started strafing the maw with the machine gun, while Garrus complained about too much motion to lock on with the cannon.  Shepard slammed the accelerator to the floor and grunted a response, "Yup.  You got it... I'll stop as soon as I know we have enough distance to not get killed!"

The Mako screamed across the sand and Ashley shouted out, "it's diving!"  Shepard immediately slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel, skidding hard to the right, and then slammed the accelerator once again to the floor, the Mako jumping off ninety degrees from the direction they were previously heading.  After a relatively short sprint, she cranked the wheel again to the right, again changing their direction, just as the maw popped up a second time, somewhat behind them, having miscalculated where the Mako was going to be.  Shepard turned the wheel slightly, to put the Mako sideways to the maw, shouting, "Be ready, Vakarian!  The minute that thing spits, I'm slamming on the brakes and you damn well better be ready to paste that maw!"

Garrus had immediately figured out what the commander was doing and had already started swinging the big gun around to get ready and shouted his response.  "I'm on it, Shepard!" 

As soon as the acid was launched and Shepard knew the Mako was clear, she jammed the brakes and skidded to a stop.  The big 'whoompf' of the main cannon was music to her ears.  The maw spit again and Shepard quickly backed the Mako out of the acid's path and stopped again for Garrus and Ashley to continue their bombardment.  After a third shot, the maw figured out it had lost the advantage and dived once again under the sand.  Shepard quickly launched the Mako on another erratic drive route and set them up to start the process over again.  After a third repeat of the cycle, the maw crashed dead to the sand, and after a slow circle around the beast to ensure the maw wasn't going to recover and rise again, Shepard pulled the Mako to a stop between the Grizzly and the transmitting beacon.

The team dismounted and Shepard and Ashley moved amongst the bodies, collecting all the dog tags of the dead, while Garrus moved to check out and disable the beacon.  It wasn't long before Garrus was on the comm, "I know I'm not in the Alliance, but this doesn't look like one of yours, Shepard."

The commander scowled, signaling at the Chief to keep collecting tags while she checked out the beacon.  After a brief inspection, she growled, "You're right.  See what kind of identifying information you can get off it.  ID plate, insignias, model and serial numbers, anything.  We'll send it all back to the Admiral to see if he can get a bead on it."

It was a somber team that returned to the Normandy, the only satisfaction coming from the souvenir scales each of them had ripped off the carcass of the dead maw.  Shepard threw hers to Wrex, grunting as she did so, "Thought you'd appreciate this."

Wrex flipped the scale over in his hands before he growled back at her, "Not my kill, Shepard."

Shepard shrugged, "Not mine either.  All I did was drive the Mako."  Wrex chuckled, walked over to a large box, and dropped the scale in with the stuff headed to Admiral Kohoku.

**Normandy SR-1, Six Weeks Later**

Shepard stormed down the stairs, ignoring Liara's concerned exclamation, ignoring everything but the pounding in her head threatening to steal away reason.  She slipped into her room and locked the door behind her before she fell to her knees and clenched her fists, shaking partly in frustration at the inability to provide any consolation to the families of needlessly dead marines, but mostly in barely controlled rage.  Liara stood briefly outside the door, contemplating the lock symbol before deciding to speak with Joker first.  When she got to the bridge she looked at the pilot and bluntly queried, "What did you say to the commander that has her so angry?"

Joker shrugged his shoulders in his off-hand kind of way and responded, "I didn't say anything.  She got a message from some admiral the ground team talked to on the Citadel just after she was selected as a Spectre.  You got me as to why she's so mad."

"Can you play it back for me, please?"  Liara was very curious as to the contents of a message that could so upset the normally controlled commander.

Joker grinned broadly as he spoke, flourishing his baseball cap in the air, "Your wish is my command, Lady T'Soni!"

Liara started to object, "Flight Lieutenant, I am not Lady T'Soni.  That honor belongs..."  She gave up as Joker broke into loud laughter.  Liara groaned, "Let me guess.  Some kind of joke that yet again I have failed to comprehend."

As the playback began, Joker just sighed; Liara's reaction took all the fun out of the joke.  "I'll explain it to you later."

_Shepard, this is Admiral Kahoku.  I found out who set that trap on my men, the ones killed by the thresher maw.  Damn, I hope you get this message.  It was a group called Cerberus; an Alliance Black Ops organization, top secret, highest level security clearance.  They vanished a few months ago, dropped right off the grid.  Nobody knew where they went or what they were up to.  They've gone completely rogue, Shepard!  They're conducting illegal genetic experiments trying to create some kind of super soldier!  I don't have any proof, but I found the coordinates for one of their research worlds.  I'm uploading them with this message.  They're completely out of control.  Somebody needs to stop them!  I've done my part, now it's up to you.  This... this is probably the last you'll hear from me.  Cerberus is after me now.  I need to disappear before they find me._

Liara understood why fellow service members would be angry about such a thing, but the emotions radiating off of Shepard when she stormed by were palpable.  Liara was puzzled as to the intensity of the commander's reaction and while Joker was purely guessing, he provided a partial answer.  "Awhile back, we responded to an emergency beacon and found it planted in the middle of a thresher nest.  On purpose.  And now Shepard knows a rogue Alliance Black Op is responsible for the death of an entire Marine recon team.  I'm pissed off too, but her reaction?  That was kinda over the top and I have no idea why."

There was only one thing for Liara to do; ask her.  Liara approached the door and tapped the glowing red panel for entry, causing a chime to sound inside the room.  Getting no response, she tapped again and just as she was getting ready to turn to leave, the door opened with Shepard's eyes blazing at whoever dared to invade her sanctuary.  Shepard was growling as the door opened, "Does a locked door not..."  She stopped once she saw who was standing on the other side and swallowed the rest of her sentence, stepping aside to clear the path.  "Liara.  Come in."  Her voice was still tense and her words were clipped as she turned and walked down the stairs to sit on her couch in silence. 

Liara followed hesitantly, relocking the door behind her, still trying to figure out the exact parameters of their budding relationship. She wasn't sure if she should speak or sit, and she was wringing her hands, unsure where to start.  As it turned out, she didn't have to.  After a moment, without any prompting, the commander started to speak with a quiet intensity.

"Admiral Kahoku just informed me an Alliance black op went rogue and killed an entire squad of Marines.  Said they just dropped off the grid a few months ago.  It's crap, Liara.  Those Marines died for nothing.  Cerberus went bad a long time ago and they should have been stopped then."  Shepard hesitated for just a moment before she continued.  "I was only eleven when they killed my dad."  She slowly told the whole two-year story; she left nothing out, from her mom's assignment to the Hastings through when she lived with Karin Chakwas for nine months until Hannah got her new posting in London.  As Shepard spoke, Liara slowly sank down onto the couch next to her and without thinking, reached out and clasped the hand closest to her, holding it in an attempt to impart calm to the commander's ragged emotions.  When the story was done, silence fell, punctuated only by Samantha's harsh breathing as she struggled to rein in her anger.  "I've never told anyone that story.  As far as I know, only four people in the galaxy know the _full_ truth.  Me, my mom, Karin... and now you."

"Shepard.  I am so sorry.  I did not mean for you to relive that time.  It obviously pains you greatly."  Liara's eyes filled with tears, feeling like she had amplified Samantha's hurt by the telling.

Shepard squeezed the blue hand holding her own and looked at the Asari sitting next to her, gently reaching up and wiping away the tears before they fell.  "No, Liara.  Don't cry.  It's... good to tell it.  I was thinking it anyways, and somehow, sharing it lessens the ache that weighs on my soul.  Thank you for caring enough to check on me.  Just...you being here...it means a lot."  She closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch, not relinquishing Liara's hand.  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Shepard's voice was strong again, and it startled Liara when she suddenly blurted out into the quiet, "I never knew hate until that day."  Realizing how loud her voice was in the silence, she continued a bit more quietly.  "It's so irrational.  Seeing a thresher nest used as a trap to kill Marines was bad enough, but hearing Cerberus was involved just...  I don't know.  I know it's not how he died, but I suddenly saw my dad lying on Edolus with those marines, his blood soaking into the sand instead of running out on the deck of the ship...and all that hate surged back to the front of my mind like it was yesterday."

Liara reached up and gently pushed a stray strand of hair up behind Shepard's ear, caressed her cheek and then ran a hand gently down her arm before turning and leaning back on the couch next to Samantha, now clasping the hand she held with both of hers. "Oh, Shepard.  I don't know what to say, but I will be here for you.  Just you.  As long as you need me."  She closed her eyes and gently leaned against Samantha's warm shoulder.

After a moment, Shepard withdrew her hand and wrapped it around Liara's waist, pulling the Asari in.  She pressed a soft kiss onto Liara's crest and rested her head against Liara's, whispering, "Thank you."  They stayed that way, content in the quiet, peacefully resting for awhile before Shepard spoke again.  "Liara?  I'd like to share something with you.  Something we don't normally talk about in the Alliance."  Liara looked at the Spectre, but said nothing, just squeezed her hand and waited patiently for Shepard to continue.

"Faith.  As in religion.  What happened today made me think of something my mom told me a long time ago.  I had asked her about my grandparents and she told me they were dead, that they had gone to Ankou."  She saw the puzzled expression on Liara's face, the light of scientific curiosity, and she gave the Asari a sad smile.  "I'm not surprised you don't recognize the name.  We followed the Druids; it's one of the old religions and rarely practiced anymore.  My mom's parents died very suddenly, in an accident when she was only seven.  She was left alone in the world and raised in an orphanage.  A Druid spoke to her and told her to not be angry, that we are not to judge the ways of the Gods.  There was one in particular, Dwyn, the God of tricks and pranks.  He told her that Dwyn exists to test our faith, to ensure we are ready and possess the strength to accomplish our divine purpose."

Shepard fell silent for a moment, then suddenly looked up and Liara was pierced by a dark green intensity as their eyes met.  "It's hard to not be angry.  I've already suffered loss, Liara, and I feel a lot more is yet to come with this hunt for Saren and the Reapers.  I fear the trials.  I fear how much more they may test me before I prove worthy of whatever task they have designed for me."  Her eyes glassed over and her grip on Liara's hand became desperate.  " _I_ _onúin álainn_ , there is some loss that would break me, that I would not... could not endure."  She fell silent, her penetrating stare searching the depths of Liara's soul, hoping she had communicated her fear without giving it a name.  There was power in a name, and the last thing she wanted to do was to give this particular fear a name.

"Goddess, Shepard.  I..."  Liara stopped speaking; she realized she had no words.  She had no way to express her feelings at that moment; the love, the angst, the concern, the fear, the hope.  It was all of that and more, so she settled for leaning into Shepard and clutching her in a crushing embrace that promised an eternity.  As her mind settled, the words finally came.  "I am with you, Shepard.  Whatever trials there may be, we will succeed, together.  We will find and defeat Saren.  We will stop the Reapers.  And we will stop Cerberus and keep them from destroying any more of humanity; for the Marines, for Kahoku, for your father... for you."  She did not release her hold until she felt Shepard relax into her arms.  When she did, Liara sat back and gently caressed Shepard's cheek.  No more words were spoken, but her soft blue eyes spoke of a love and affection that would transcend boundaries of time and space, and Shepard found peace.

**2183 - Artemis Tau cluster, Sparta system**

Spectre or not, in Shepard's eyes, locating an entire squad of missing marines took precedence over finding some Asari scientist who may or may not be able to help them. She found it hard to believe the Council stonewalled Admiral Kahoku and wouldn't even give him a hearing. So, Shepard, Garrus and Ashley found themselves in the Mako and dropped on the planet Edolus. Edolus wasn't the most hospitable place; if the freezing temperature and the non-breathable atmosphere weren't enough, there was also the combination of a neighboring gas giant and an asteroid belt which delivered a constant supply of meteors impacting the planet's surface. If you were lucky, it made exploration interesting; if unlucky, it made it deadly.

When the Mako made surface contact, Ashley chipped in the moment sensors came on line. "Ma'am. We've got four contacts... one immediately behind us appears to be a burning M29 Grizzly, no organic signatures. A few mineral deposits, an unknown electronic signature, and the emergency beacon. No signs of hostiles, organic or... otherwise." Ashley added that last bit thinking of the Geth before continuing, "The beacon is almost dead ahead, just a couple klicks."

"Thanks, Chief. I want you on the machine gun. Garrus, take the cannon. Just in case." She didn't look at either, just accepted their verbal acknowledgements as she focused on driving the ungainly Mako. Fortunately, the terrain wasn't difficult, but she still had to concentrate on where she was going because some rather large meteors were keeping things a bit interesting. They were easy enough to spot with their blazing smoke trails, and their purely ballistic paths made their impact point easy enough to predict and dodge... as long as one was paying attention.

They quickly eased up on an open mesa, surrounded by a ring of relatively low hills. Almost dead center on the mesa was another M29 Grizzly, with the emergency beacon not far away. With three sets of eyes on target, no one saw even the slightest hint of movement. Shepard sighed heavily, realizing quickly that any Marines here were now just corpses covered by blowing dust. "Chief, you didn't see any sign of the ship that brought them here, did you?"

Realization dawned in Ashley's eyes and she responded quickly. "No ma'am, I didn't. Something's not right here, huh. If they were stranded, there should be a crashed shuttle at the very least; and with a Griz, there should be at least a large frigate...or someone should have survived to report the accident."

Garrus flipped his mandibles in irritation as he started to follow the gist of the conversation. "Sooo... you're saying they were dropped off here and this was a set-up?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed as she spoke, "Yeah. Got it in one, Vakarian. Even if it was pirates... if they took the time to follow them down here to kill them and steal their ship, they would have taken the extra couple minutes to disable the beacon to give themselves more time to get away before someone responded." Rather than head straight at the beacon, Shepard eased forward slowly, turning the wheel to take the Mako around the perimeter of the mesa, hoping to determine the nature of the trap before it was sprung. They hadn't gotten very far before the very ground they were driving on shook viciously. Shepard slammed her foot down on the accelerator and yelled, "Shit! Thresher nest!" She promptly drove the Mako up the side of the hill to her left, trying to get clear of the mesa bottom. Not two seconds later, a huge thresher maw rose quickly from the sand where the Mako had been sitting mere moments before, looming over the vehicle and turning to face them as they attempted retreat.

Shepard quickly realized they were not going to climb the mesa wall fast enough to effectively dodge an attack and yanked the wheel to drop the Mako back to the Mesa floor. She hit the boosters for just a moment to separate them from the wall and put them in a freefall, taking them to the bottom faster than what the Mako could do driving down the slope. Just as she did so, the maw let loose a gob of acid spit, which hit harmlessly on the cliff wall they just vacated. The minute the Mako hit the mesa floor, Ashley gave a whoop and started strafing the maw with the machine gun, while Garrus complained about too much motion to lock on with the cannon. Shepard slammed the accelerator to the floor and grunted a response, "Yup. You got it... I'll stop as soon as I know we have enough distance to not get killed!"

The Mako screamed across the sand and Ashley shouted out, "it's diving!" Shepard immediately slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel, skidding hard to the right, and then slammed the accelerator once again to the floor, the Mako jumping off ninety degrees from the direction they were previously heading. After a relatively short sprint, she cranked the wheel again to the right, again changing their direction, just as the maw popped up a second time, somewhat behind them, having miscalculated where the Mako was going to be. Shepard turned the wheel slightly, to put the Mako sideways to the maw, shouting, "Be ready, Vakarian! The minute that thing spits, I'm slamming on the brakes and you damn well better be ready to paste that maw!"

Garrus had immediately figured out what the commander was doing and had already started swinging the big gun around to get ready and shouted his response. "I'm on it, Shepard!"

As soon as the acid was launched and Shepard knew the Mako was clear, she jammed the brakes and skidded to a stop. The big 'whoompf' of the main cannon was music to her ears. The maw spit again and Shepard quickly backed the Mako out of the acid's path and stopped again for Garrus and Ashley to continue their bombardment. After a third shot, the maw figured out it had lost the advantage and dived once again under the sand. Shepard quickly launched the Mako on another erratic drive route and set them up to start the process over again. After a third repeat of the cycle, the maw crashed dead to the sand, and after a slow circle around the beast to ensure the maw wasn't going to recover and rise again, Shepard pulled the Mako to a stop between the Grizzly and the transmitting beacon.

The team dismounted and Shepard and Ashley moved amongst the bodies, collecting all the dog tags of the dead, while Garrus moved to check out and disable the beacon. It wasn't long before Garrus was on the comm, "I know I'm not in the Alliance, but this doesn't look like one of yours, Shepard."

The commander scowled, signaling at the Chief to keep collecting tags while she checked out the beacon. After a brief inspection, she growled, "You're right. See what kind of identifying information you can get off it. ID plate, insignias, model and serial numbers, anything. We'll send it all back to the Admiral to see if he can get a bead on it."

It was a somber team that returned to the Normandy, the only satisfaction coming from the souvenir scales each of them had ripped off the carcass of the dead maw. Shepard threw hers to Wrex, grunting as she did so, "Thought you'd appreciate this."

Wrex flipped the scale over in his hands before he growled back at her, "Not my kill, Shepard."

Shepard shrugged, "Not mine either. All I did was drive the Mako." Wrex chuckled, walked over to a large box, and dropped the scale in with the stuff headed to Admiral Kohoku.

**Normandy SR-1, Six Weeks Later**

Shepard stormed down the stairs, ignoring Liara's concerned exclamation, ignoring everything but the pounding in her head threatening to steal away reason. She slipped into her room and locked the door behind her before she fell to her knees and clenched her fists, shaking partly in frustration at the inability to provide any consolation to the families of needlessly dead marines, but mostly in barely controlled rage. Liara stood briefly outside the door, contemplating the lock symbol before deciding to speak with Joker first. When she got to the bridge she looked at the pilot and bluntly queried, "What did you say to the commander that has her so angry?"

Joker shrugged his shoulders in his off-hand kind of way and responded, "I didn't say anything. She got a message from some admiral the ground team talked to on the Citadel just after she was selected as a Spectre. You got me as to why she's so mad."

"Can you play it back for me, please?" Liara was very curious as to the contents of a message that could so upset the normally controlled commander.

Joker grinned broadly as he spoke, flourishing his baseball cap in the air, "Your wish is my command, Lady T'Soni!"

Liara started to object, "Flight Lieutenant, I am not Lady T'Soni. That honor belongs..." She gave up as Joker broke into loud laughter. Liara groaned, "Let me guess. Some kind of joke that yet again I have failed to comprehend."

As the playback began, Joker just sighed; Liara's reaction took all the fun out of the joke. "I'll explain it to you later."

_Shepard, this is Admiral Kahoku. I found out who set that trap on my men, the ones killed by the thresher maw. Damn, I hope you get this message. It was a group called Cerberus; an Alliance Black Ops organization, top secret, highest level security clearance. They vanished a few months ago, dropped right off the grid. Nobody knew where they went or what they were up to. They've gone completely rogue, Shepard! They're conducting illegal genetic experiments trying to create some kind of super soldier! I don't have any proof, but I found the coordinates for one of their research worlds. I'm uploading them with this message. They're completely out of control. Somebody needs to stop them! I've done my part, now it's up to you. This... this is probably the last you'll hear from me. Cerberus is after me now. I need to disappear before they find me._

Liara understood why fellow service members would be angry about such a thing, but the emotions radiating off of Shepard when she stormed by were palpable. Liara was puzzled as to the intensity of the commander's reaction and while Joker was purely guessing, he provided a partial answer. "Awhile back, we responded to an emergency beacon and found it planted in the middle of a thresher nest. On purpose. And now Shepard knows a rogue Alliance Black Op is responsible for the death of an entire Marine recon team. I'm pissed off too, but her reaction? That was kinda over the top and I have no idea why."

There was only one thing for Liara to do; ask her. Liara approached the door and tapped the glowing red panel for entry, causing a chime to sound inside the room. Getting no response, she tapped again and just as she was getting ready to turn to leave, the door opened with Shepard's eyes blazing at whoever dared to invade her sanctuary. Shepard was growling as the door opened, "Does a locked door not..." She stopped once she saw who was standing on the other side and swallowed the rest of her sentence, stepping aside to clear the path. "Liara. Come in." Her voice was still tense and her words were clipped as she turned and walked down the stairs to sit on her couch in silence.

Liara followed hesitantly, relocking the door behind her, still trying to figure out the exact parameters of their budding relationship. She wasn't sure if she should speak or sit, and she was wringing her hands, unsure where to start. As it turned out, she didn't have to. After a moment, without any prompting, the commander started to speak with a quiet intensity.

"Admiral Kahoku just informed me an Alliance black op went rogue and killed an entire squad of Marines. Said they just dropped off the grid a few months ago. It's crap, Liara. Those Marines died for nothing. Cerberus went bad a long time ago and they should have been stopped then." Shepard hesitated for just a moment before she continued. "I was only eleven when they killed my dad." She slowly told the whole two-year story; she left nothing out, from her mom's assignment to the Hastings through when she lived with Karin Chakwas for nine months until Hannah got her new posting in London. As Shepard spoke, Liara slowly sank down onto the couch next to her and without thinking, reached out and clasped the hand closest to her, holding it in an attempt to impart calm to the commander's ragged emotions. When the story was done, silence fell, punctuated only by Samantha's harsh breathing as she struggled to rein in her anger. "I've never told anyone that story. As far as I know, only four people in the galaxy know the _full_ truth. Me, my mom, Karin... and now you."

"Shepard. I am so sorry. I did not mean for you to relive that time. It obviously pains you greatly." Liara's eyes filled with tears, feeling like she had amplified Samantha's hurt by the telling.

Shepard squeezed the blue hand holding her own and looked at the Asari sitting next to her, gently reaching up and wiping away the tears before they fell. "No, Liara. Don't cry. It's... good to tell it. I was thinking it anyways, and somehow, sharing it lessens the ache that weighs on my soul. Thank you for caring enough to check on me. Just...you being here...it means a lot." She closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch, not relinquishing Liara's hand. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Shepard's voice was strong again, and it startled Liara when she suddenly blurted out into the quiet, "I never knew hate until that day." Realizing how loud her voice was in the silence, she continued a bit more quietly. "It's so irrational. Seeing a thresher nest used as a trap to kill Marines was bad enough, but hearing Cerberus was involved just... I don't know. I know it's not how he died, but I suddenly saw my dad lying on Edolus with those marines, his blood soaking into the sand instead of running out on the deck of the ship...and all that hate surged back to the front of my mind like it was yesterday."

Liara reached up and gently pushed a stray strand of hair up behind Shepard's ear, caressed her cheek and then ran a hand gently down her arm before turning and leaning back on the couch next to Samantha, now clasping the hand she held with both of hers. "Oh, Shepard. I don't know what to say, but I will be here for you. Just you. As long as you need me." She closed her eyes and gently leaned against Samantha's warm shoulder.

After a moment, Shepard withdrew her hand and wrapped it around Liara's waist, pulling the Asari in. She pressed a soft kiss onto Liara's crest and rested her head against Liara's, whispering, "Thank you." They stayed that way, content in the quiet, peacefully resting for awhile before Shepard spoke again. "Liara? I'd like to share something with you. Something we don't normally talk about in the Alliance." Liara looked at the Spectre, but said nothing, just squeezed her hand and waited patiently for Shepard to continue.

"Faith. As in religion. What happened today made me think of something my mom told me a long time ago. I had asked her about my grandparents and she told me they were dead, that they had gone to Ankou." She saw the puzzled expression on Liara's face, the light of scientific curiosity, and she gave the Asari a sad smile. "I'm not surprised you don't recognize the name. We followed the Druids; it's one of the old religions and rarely practiced anymore. My mom's parents died very suddenly, in an accident when she was only seven. She was left alone in the world and raised in an orphanage. A Druid spoke to her and told her to not be angry, that we are not to judge the ways of the Gods. There was one in particular, Dwyn, the God of tricks and pranks. He told her that Dwyn exists to test our faith, to ensure we are ready and possess the strength to accomplish our divine purpose."

Shepard fell silent for a moment, then suddenly looked up and Liara was pierced by a dark green intensity as their eyes met. "It's hard to not be angry. I've already suffered loss, Liara, and I feel a lot more is yet to come with this hunt for Saren and the Reapers. I fear the trials. I fear how much more they may test me before I prove worthy of whatever task they have designed for me." Her eyes glassed over and her grip on Liara's hand became desperate. " _I_ _onúin álainn_ , there is some loss that would break me, that I would not... could not endure." She fell silent, her penetrating stare searching the depths of Liara's soul, hoping she had communicated her fear without giving it a name. There was power in a name, and the last thing she wanted to do was to give this particular fear a name.

"Goddess, Shepard. I..." Liara stopped speaking; she realized she had no words. She had no way to express her feelings at that moment; the love, the angst, the concern, the fear, the hope. It was all of that and more, so she settled for leaning into Shepard and clutching her in a crushing embrace that promised an eternity. As her mind settled, the words finally came. "I am with you, Shepard. Whatever trials there may be, we will succeed, together. We will find and defeat Saren. We will stop the Reapers. And we will stop Cerberus and keep them from destroying any more of humanity; for the Marines, for Kahoku, for your father... for you." She did not release her hold until she felt Shepard relax into her arms. When she did, Liara sat back and gently caressed Shepard's cheek. No more words were spoken, but her soft blue eyes spoke of a love and affection that would transcend boundaries of time and space, and Shepard found peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ionúin álainn - beautiful beloved (Irish/Gaelic)


	20. Names in a Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a summary of Shepard's painful background. In chapter 14 of First Life, following the death of Kaidan Alenko, Shepard paused for a moment of reflection on her life, contemplating her relationship with Liara and past events that she considered failures. She vowed to not repeat those mistakes, and as a reminder to herself so she could never forget, she wrote a list in the very back of her journal... a list of all the people who had died on her watch. You have met them all. This is that list.

**Names in a Journal**

Pulling out her journal and a pen, Shepard sat down to write. She flipped to the last page in the book and started writing names. The list. She started on the last line in the book and worked backwards. That way, the name at the top of the list would always be the freshest pain. If anyone ever picked it up to read, they would travel back in time from Shepard's most current failure to her first.

\-------------------------------

**1\. Michael O'Donnell, Officer Training**

Officer training had been an experience, and Shepard loved it. For the first time since she had developed biotics, she felt truly accepted. She was surrounded by people who actually considered her a friend instead of looking at her as a freak. Mike was her assigned buddy and they did everything together. There were lots of rumors about them being involved romantically, but they weren't; they were just best friends. Shepard shook her head... they weren't ' _just'_ anything. Mike was less than a year older than her and felt like the big brother she never had. He watched out for her when they went downtown, making sure no guys got overly friendly if Shepard didn't want them to, which was all the time. She was in training and had no time for such distractions. What made them click so well was that Mike wanted the same things she did; he just went about it differently. Shepard was the driving force that kept them on track and Mike was the comic relief that kept them both from taking themselves too seriously. They really did make a good team. Until that day. The day Mike fell from the tower in front of the high wall. Until the day she wasn't there for him when he needed her most.

People wondered why she spent so much time wandering the ship and making sure her crew was doing ok, making sure she was there for them if they needed her help. The reason was simple. _Michael_.

\-------------------------------

**6\. Ellen Fizer, Elysium Infiltrator/Sniper**

**5\. Paul Ryan, Elysium Squad Lead**

**4\. Sandy Mueller, Elysium Sergeant**

**3\. Stu Humphries, Elysium Sergeant**

**2\. Tim Bilyeu, Elysium Engineer**

Shepard had been at her new job with the Fleet for only three months, and it was well into her first deployment when they got a break. She and most of the team decided to head down to the Elysium port town of Illyria for a few days of R&R. The team leader and Engineer Operative, Captain Ryan, had reports to finish and also wanted to buy and install some tech upgrades. Their infiltrator was also missing, exuding her normal attitude of 'I work alone.' Most likely, she was also in the markets on the hunt for an upgraded scope or stabilizer, maybe both. That left Shepard, a baby lieutenant engineer fresh out of school named Tim Bilyeu, and two Sergeants, Sandy Mueller and Stu Humphries, to wander the town with nothing but time on their hands.

The first night was great and the second day started out the same, until the damn pirates showed up. Unfortunately, it wasn't a normal raid for weapons and valuables... they came in mass and were actually trying to take the whole colony. Being on leave, the officers had gone dirt-side with only their standard issue pistols and the enlisted troops had nothing. They managed to grab some gear from Port Security and salvage some more from dead pirates, but the battle was bloody and the pirates relentless. When the smoke cleared, Shepard was the only one of her team to survive and emerged from the battle with the nickname 'Hero of Elysium,' the Star of Terra, and an assignment to the Interplanetary Combatives Training course at the Vila Militar in Rio de Janeiro. The only thing of the three she wanted was the last, the slot at N-school. She detested the first two.

People wondered why whenever she went off ship, she went in full armor with weapons on her back. Why it was difficult for her to 'dress down' and relax when they got to the Citadel, or why she didn't go drinking when they stopped at Omega. Why she was always on edge, always ready. The answer was simple. _Elysium_.

\-------------------------------

**14\. Josie McDonough, Theshaca N7 Squad Sniper**

**13\. Donna Degregorio, Theshaca Bravo Soldier**

**12\. Jack Zettle, Theshaca Bravo Engineer**

**11\. Mac Thompson, Theshaca Bravo Lead**

**10\. Buzz Mitchell, Theshaca N7 Squad Soldier**

**9\. Carlton Biggs, Theshaca N7 Squad Adept**

**8\. Stephanie Low, Theshaca Bravo Adept**

**7\. Peter Mackey, Theshaca Shuttle Pilot**

Pirates had started striking colonies and taking people as slaves...it was highly irregular, and it had to be stopped. The initial round of the Theshaca raids had been extremely successful and forced the pirates to consolidate their forces into a single last stronghold. It was extremely well defended and the plan was to take a massive strike force against it, composed of multiple squads. The teams planned extensively and everything about the operation was timed perfectly and planned down to the minutest detail. On the day of the operation, Shepard's shuttle pilot performed an unauthorized deviation from the planned route and climbed too high, putting the shuttle into the crosshairs of pirate-controlled antiaircraft guns. The shuttle took a direct hit and plummeted to the ground, resulting in the deaths of eight troops. Shepard blamed herself for not ensuring proper execution of the ingress route. _I should have been in the damn co-pilot's chair._

People wondered why she felt the need to go on every mission, monitor progress through every phase of the operation. Why she found it difficult to let herself rest before the mission was complete. The answer was painfully obvious. _Theshaca_.

\-------------------------------

**21\. Jonathan Hills, Agebinium, 2d Fleet RRT**

**20\. Bryan Lemay, Agebinium, 2d Fleet RRT**

**19\. Melissa Thompkins, Mavigon, 2d Fleet RRT**

**18\. Jacob Peterson, Mavigon, 2d Fleet RRT**

**17\. Scott Phillips, Klensal, 2d Fleet RRT**

**16\. Justin Adams, Nonuel, 2d Fleet RRT**

**15\. Vanessa Richards, Sharjila, 2d Fleet RRT**

Shepard had stood up the Second Fleet Rapid Response Team and was operating off the SSV New Delhi when pirate activity seemed to surge back to the forefront. The improved tactics and greater effectiveness of the raids made it obvious there was a new leader in town, and she had to figure out a way to deal with the problem. Culver had helped her out over Christmas break and given her a couple of ideas, and it was sooner rather than later that trouble came knocking. Someone had recovered a military probe with a 20-kiloton tactical fusion warhead and Shepard had to retrieve it. In the end it turned out to be a trap set by the new pirate leader, Elanos Haliat, because he held a grudge against the officer who ruined him at Elysium; Samantha Shepard.

The Rapid Response Team avoided the trap but had to get by the pirates to return to their transport and the SSV New Delhi. Not that the idea of a confrontation bothered Shepard; she preferred to not let any of the pirates leave the planet alive anyway but not everyone on the team had the appropriate gear for a stand-up fight. so she came up with a different plan. She engaged the enemy, deliberately as a semi-solo distraction along with some long-range sniper support, while everyone else was supposed to be getting safely into the armored transport. Shepard was focused on the fight and never knew that things had gone wrong. Two of the troops had disobeyed orders and stuck around to join the fight, but their light armor was insufficient protection and they were killed in action. One of them was the brother of Shepard's girlfriend, Nikki Hills. Nikki never forgave her, and it cut Shepard deeply. There were no immediate lessons for Shepard, only pain.

For the next year Shepard shut everyone out, becoming isolated and commanding. She never let anyone get close and she made few friends. She became a ruthless N7 operative, always selected for the toughest missions because she got things done. It got her noticed and she was selected as the executive officer for a new prototype frigate, the SSV Normandy. The Alliance project lead and future ship captain was Captain David Anderson and they worked closely together for a number of months, finalizing operating procedures and crew rosters. Anderson was the exact opposite of the withdrawn Shepard, and under his careful tutelage and mentorship she learned how to deal with the pain of loss and she eventually learned how to trust, how to open up again, and that she was not alone.

\-------------------------------

**23\. Kaidan Alenko, Virmire, Normandy SR-1**

**22\. Richard Jenkins, Eden Prime, Normandy SR-1**

It certainly didn't hurt that when the Normandy rolled out for her maiden shake-down cruise, she counted amongst her crew David Anderson and Karin Chakwas, who in all practicality were like an uncle and an aunt to Shepard. She was definitely not alone, which was good because the simple shakedown cruise on the Normandy turned out to be anything but. Jenkins was a good soldier but he was young and overeager. On Eden Prime, Shepard had treated him like a seasoned troop, expecting him to know all the hand signals and use good judgment. She had assumed he knew what he was doing and it had gotten him killed. Because of the circumstances, Anderson was forced to move on and Shepard was made a Spectre and given command of the Normandy to chase down Geth and the rogue Spectre Saren.

Then came Alenko on Virmire. It was a damn hard-fought battle and the Geth were everywhere, but the Normandy crew was making a dent. There was still a chance, and then Alenko armed the damn nuke. He figured she wouldn't get to him in time and armed the damn nuke to make sure the mission would be completed. He forced her hand, knowing full well what would happen if the nuke went off when the Normandy was still on the ground. There would be no one left to fight the war. He forced her to abandon him in order to save the rest of the team.  

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Eleven years of service and twenty three names. Twenty three names too many; twenty three faces who railed against her successes. How much more blood could she take on her hands before she felt like she could no longer wash it all away? How much before it left a permanent stain? Shepard recalled every name without difficulty, and immediately wondered if maybe it was already too late. Shepard put down her pen and closed her diary, ink flowing on paper replaced by silent tears flowing down her cheeks.

As she finished her diary entry, Shepard let go a heavy, unhappy sigh and was somewhat startled by Liara softly calling her name. A blue hand landed and softly caressed her shoulder. Shepard wiped away her tears and faced the Asari but was unable to give voice to all her demons, instead only telling Liara she was thinking about Kaidan. Liara spoke kind words about the Lieutenant as she turned Samantha's chair and started to massage her shoulders in earnest, providing comfort and solace to the grieving commander. Samantha's eyes drifted closed and she swallowed her tears; she was definitely not alone.


	21. Ghosts of Tuchanka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Wrex flashback, after he comforts Liara after the death of Matriarch Benezia. Occurs during First Life, Ch 17. 'Kruban' is the Krogan mythological paradise where honorable warriors feast for eternity.

**2183 - Normandy, Horse Head Nebula, Post-Noveria**

Urdnot Wrex wasn't one to normally attend 'social functions' but no Krogan in their right mind would turn down free drinks, so once the commander announced that the promotion party for Williams included alcohol, Wrex decided to be there. As he rolled up to the celebration, he was approvingly surprised to see the Asari, seeing as Liara had just lost her mother. _Shows strength of spirit!_ Wrex plopped himself down next to her. Having a similar long life span, he was a kindred soul and ever since he originally carried her to the med bay when they fetched her off Therum, he had taken it upon himself to watch out for her. He didn't really need to _do_ anything; he just made it known that he liked her and it would be unwise for anyone to hurt one of his friends. Once people understood his level of attachment, they pretty much left her alone. She was a good kid, sweet and endearing, but had an underlying spine of steel not often seen in squishy types. She had taken her first blood much better than many Wrex had been forced to work with in his mercenary days. She had been a bit shaken, but she didn't run off into a corner and lose her breakfast like so many he'd seen. He nodded to himself in approval. _She is strong.  A suitable mate for Shepard._

They sat in amicable silence for bit, Wrex quietly drinking his Ryncol, thinking Liara might say something once she was done eating. It didn't happen, so Wrex gave her a sidelong glance and started speaking. "One of the reasons I left Tuchanka...main reason, really. My father was clan leader and we had a disagreement on how things should be run. He felt I was challenging his leadership, so he decided to eliminate the competition. He tried to kill me, so I killed him instead and left Tuchanka to become a mercenary. Never wanted to be clan leader to begin with, stupid old Krogan." When Wrex reached a huge hand over and patted Liara 'gently' on the back, he realized she wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings because the pat almost knocked her out of her chair. "Hell of a thing to have to kill your own parent. Sorry, kid. I know it's tough, but if you wanna, you know...talk...you can talk to me anytime. I'll understand." Surprisingly, Liara took the comment well. He'd expected her to cry like most squishies, but she was definitely tougher than most. S _he'd make a good Krogan._

He didn't really expect any kind of answer, so was somewhat surprised when she laid her tiny hand atop his and spoke. "Thank you, Wrex. I really do appreciate it, but I'm afraid I...I don't truly know yet what I could even possibly say. I...I am sorry to hear about your father."

As the Asari fell silent, Wrex glanced over at Shepard, who was looking at him like she'd never seen a Krogan before... well, maybe it was because she'd never seen a Krogan who actually cared about anything but their next paycheck and next bottle of Ryncol. Wrex looked back down at Liara, and as gentle as a Krogan could be, said, "Don't worry about it, kid. When you're ready, the words will come." Suddenly self-conscious about being stared at by the commander like he was some freak of nature, he stood up and rumbled away from the table, "I'm gonna go clean my shotgun," and wandered to the weapons bench. There weren't many in the galaxy who could make Wrex uncomfortable with a glance but the respect he held for Shepard, especially since Virmire, certainly made the commander one of them. While his hands worked on autopilot at the familiar task of disassembling his gun, his mind took him to another place and another time...

**1211 - Aralakh System, Tuchanka**

Wrex had been one of the lucky ones. He actually lived. It was a rare enough thing because of the Genophage and it was made even more so when it was discovered that Wrex was born a biotic; destined to become a Battlemaster should he survive his youth and all the Tuchanka trials. Natural born biotics happened on occasion within the Krogan and it was genetic, but always skipped several generations; for Wrex, the last had been his great-great-grandfather. Because of Wrex's potential, his sire requested and completed the Rite of Parentage, allowing Urdnot Jarrod, father and clan leader, to claim Wrex as his son and heir. It also meant that an exceptionally young Wrex was immediately removed from his mother and the female camp, to live and train with the clan's male warriors. Wrex was bigger and stronger than many Krogan, maybe stronger than them all, and growing up he never lost a fight. At the top of his youthful accomplishments, Wrex and his Krantt killed the Thresher Maw during the final challenge of his Rite of Passage... something that hadn't been accomplished in the last 1200 years. Upon his successful completion of the Rite, Wrex was accepted into Clan Urdnot and quickly rose through the ranks.

Urdnot Jarrod used Wrex's strength as a political tool, arranging additional breedings based on the potential strength of his offspring, and Clan Urdnot grew a bit faster than other clans and quickly gained prominence on the Krogan homeworld. In turn, the prominence of Clan Urdnot gained its male Krogan exactly what they lived for... battle. After the Krogan Rebellions ended, most remaining Krogan tribes wanted to continue fighting, and Clan Urdnot's high standing made them the desired opponent. Combining his parentage with his own strength and prowess in battle, Wrex became the youngest Krogan to lead one of the smaller Urdnot tribes in over a thousand years; he was a mere 220 years of age. His victories against the tribes of other clans quickly earned Wrex fame, but Wrex had a different definition of success. He realized if the Krogan kept killing one another, their species as a whole was doomed because of the Genophage and its devastating effect on their ability to reproduce. As a result, his tribe fought only when necessary to defend their territory and chose to focus on breeding instead. When his tribe's growth rate started to far exceed the others, other tribes started to agree with his philosophy and followed his path. This did not sit well with Urdnot Jarrod.

A messenger from Jarrod, Urdnot Gurag, stood before Wrex. "You are Urdnot, yet you ignore the clan leader's wishes!"

Wrex grunted, "His wishes will lead to the extinction of the Krogan and I will not let us commit suicide! The Genophage weakens us, but civil wars will kill us all. All others may battle themselves into dust, yet this Urdnot tribe will grow strong and Urdnot will go on! We will have strength in numbers!"

"There is only glory in battle, not in numbers, you disobedient whelp!" Gurag's hand fell to the hilt of his knife in warning.

Wrex did not fail to notice, and before Gurag could draw the blade, Wrex head-butted him and knocked him back a number of steps. "You dare? You forget where you are! You are in my territory and you will respect me as tribal leader or issue a proper challenge, not look to stab me in secret!"

Gurag growled, "Jarrod will hear of this, Whelp!"

Wrex laughed. "Yes, and it will be you to run home and tell him. I could send my answer back as your head on a spike, but you are not worth killing!"

Gurag bristled at the insult, but dared not attack Wrex. If Wrex didn't kill him, Jarrod would for failing his orders to just deliver the message, nothing more. Being a typical Krogan, Gurag let his emotions rule, instead of reason, and had allowed the conversation to degenerate into an argument. Now he had to return to Jarrod in shame and tell him of Wrex's refusal to join him in battle against Clan Jurdon. When told of the outcome, Jarrod was furious.

"Wrex has split Urdnot and more than a quarter of our tribes follow his lead! They will not fight and the other clans know of it!" Jarrod growled. "He is my blood, but he is a cancer. Krogan are born to fight! Wrex's ideas weaken the clan and this cannot be allowed!"

Gurag glared at the clan leader, "Your orders made me look weak. I was forced to choose between honoring your orders or defending my own honor when he insulted me, but I am not Wrex. I obey my clan leader. To right this wrong, I claim the right to be your battlehand!"

Jarrod nodded. "Agreed. We will arrange a Crush at the Hollows, and I grant you your boon. You will stand with me when we loose their blood to the desert."

Gurag growled, "You would violate the ancestral burial grounds and bleed your own offspring on such holy ground? Violence is forbidden within its confines."

Jarrod sneered. "Wrex's refusal to fight... he is not true Krogan! Bleeding him there is not an act of violence, it is an act of purification of the Urdnot bloodlines!"

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Wrex looked at the formal writ, his second by his side. "Ravic. I do not like this 'request' for a Crush. It is to be held at the Hollows, and by definition is supposed to be held on neutral ground, so we should be doubly safe, but I sense a trap."

Ravic nodded. "I sense the truth of what you say, but it does not matter. When the Clan Leader invites you to a Crush... well, there are some laws we all hold sacred. We must attend."

"Hrrumpf. I suppose. Even if we know the request is made with ill intent. But there is nothing that says we must go unarmed." Wrex growled. "We will not take all the warriors. We will leave many to defend the territory, so we'll only take ten. You, me, plus eight of our best."

When they arrived at the Hollows, only Jarrod and Gurag were waiting for them. Feeling eyes watching, Wrex looked around but saw no one else. He and his nine followers strode in and greeted the Clan Leader.

"Warlord Jarrod. We come in answer to your request for Crush. What is it you need to resolve?"

Jarrod looked over his young progeny. Tribal leadership had weathered Wrex, and he stood tall and strong. "Why is it you come to a Crush with warriors behind you, bearing weapons?"

Wrex didn't blink. He expected this question and had an answer prepared. "It is the burial grounds of our ancestors! It honors them for us to come as we are, as proud Krogan warriors!"

The Warlord was not surprised by the response and hoped to sway the young Krogan from his stubborn refusal to fight by calling those same words back against him. "You speak such honorable words as a warrior, yet you refused your Clan Leader's call to war against the Jurdon as they encroach on our borders! Proud? Ha! You fail in your obligations as a Krogan!"

"You have plenty of tribes on the borders to fight off the paltry attempts of Jurdon. They pose no threat to Urdnot dominance! Our tribal scouts are able to defend our borders. You do not need our warriors... you call on my tribe merely to prove we are under your thumb." Wrex stood confident; his arms hung relaxed at his sides. "We serve Urdnot by growing the numbers within our clan, and it is working. We produced as many living offspring as half of your remaining tribes, combined! Think how strong Urdnot would be if we all focused on such, even if only for a single generation. We would be unstoppable!"

Gurag growled and his feet shifted impatiently as he clenched and unclenched his fists, eager for his revenge. Jarrod spit out, "You naive whelp! You think the rest of Urdnot bleeds so you can make babies? If all Urdnot did that we would not have numbers! We would be turned into meat by Jurdon... and if not them, then by any one of the other fourteen clans would do so as soon as they realized our weapons have lost their edge!"

"So let us continue as we are, or let some other tribe do so... but someone must, or within a few generations we will battle our way straight into extinction and no amount of glory will save the Krogan!" Wrex glowered at the stubbornness of the Warlord and his refusal to see reason.

Ravic started moving uneasily. "Wrex, there is motion in the rocks."

Wrex growled, "I see it. Be prepared. This will not end well, but I will not have our tribe be the first to violate the sanctity of the Hollows."

Warlord Jarrod reached over his back and pulled a shotgun from its hardpoint. "You will dishonor Clan Urdnot no longer!" Rather than shoot at Wrex who immediately pulled up a biotic barrier, he blasted Ravic. As Wrex's second dropped to the ground, his remaining eight warriors turned on their shields and drew their weapons. All around them, Jarrod's men leapt from concealed locations; had Wrex come alone or with just Ravic, he would have been cut down in seconds. Instead, Jarrod's dozen Krogan barely had the upper hand, and that didn't take into account the detail that Wrex was a Battlemaster... young, but a Battlemaster nonetheless. He let loose a warp that sent his father's shotgun flying off, to bust against the rocks.

Gurag charged Wrex, who quickly halted him with a stasis. By the time he recovered, Ravic had regenerated and rose to intercept him, leaving Wrex free to face his father. While the battle raged around them, the two focused only on one another, as if no others existed in the entirety of the Hollows. Jarrod bellowed in anger and drew his Nevembat, a Krogan battle blade designed specifically for melee combat. The leading edge consisted of an eighteen centimeter dagger blade, slightly curved and serrated on the convex edge while smooth on the concave side. The front edge of the mostly enclosed handgrip was in essence an extra large ulu knife style blade that stretched twenty-five centimeters across, extending well past the end of Jarrod's grip and designed for slashing and chopping. An experienced adult Krogan like Warlord Jarrod could chop off a man's head in a single blow with such a blade.

Wrex bared his teeth and drew his own Nevembat, rolling lithely to the side as Jarrod charged, easily avoiding the madly slashing blade of his father. Wrex was still young and amazingly agile for a Krogan, and he surprised Jarrod with his dexterity. As Jarrod passed, Wrex lashed out and left a deep gouge down the backside of Jarrod's armor, using just a hint of biotic power to add strength to his strike. Jarrod's second approach was more measured and the two Krogan locked blades. Forcing the blades downward with his superior strength, Jarrod cleared the way to thrust his plate forward and head-butted Wrex, sending the younger Krogan stumbling backward. As Jarrod dived to press his advantage, Wrex pitched himself off to the side and avoided the Warlord's main thrust, but was still caught by a secondary slash that tore through his gauntlet and drew first blood.

Jarrod sniggered, "Give it up, Whelp! You are no match for a true Warlord of the Krogan!"

Wrex growled, "I'm trying to not kill you, idiot! The Krogan need you as a leader and a breeder, not a senseless war machine!"

Jarrod circled and sneered at the insolent youth, looking for an opening. "You are hopeless! You still refuse to fight, even when it will cost you your life?" He accompanied the verbal jab with a physical one, which Wrex countered and followed up with a downward stab with the end of the ulu blade side of the Nevembat, punching a deep hole into Jarrod's forearm, making his sire howl in frustration and pain.

"You are overconfident for a slow old man. Your time for fighting is past, Clan Leader. Your beliefs can lead only to the downfall of Urdnot!" Wrex followed his strike with a biotic punch to the side of Jarrod's head, forcing the Krogan to stumble sideways and making it impossible for him to immediately retaliate.

Jarrod couldn't stand it anymore and he charged Wrex in a blind rage. For the first time in the fight, Wrex brought his full biotics to bear and threw Jarrod into a stone column with as much force as he could muster, quickly following his sire to where he crumbled to the ground. As Jarrod started to rise, Wrex punched him in the throat and sent him back to his knees. "Yield, old man! I do not want to kill you on this sacred ground!"

Jarrod's response was weakened by his rasping voice, lucky to be able to speak at all, but he growled at his son in anger and frustration. "That is why you will never beat me, you worthless hump! You don't have what it takes to live as a true Krogan." Even from his knees, he continued the battle and drove his blade deep in to Wrex's thigh.

Wrex howled, both in pain from the stab and in anguish over what his father was forcing him to do, and drove his Nevembat deep into Jarrod's chest. Jarrod's eyes flew wide as he choked on his own blood, pulling his own blade back to flail at Wrex's arm. His strength was waning quickly and he did not have enough force to even penetrate the armor, much less draw any more of Wrex's blood. Wanting to end the fight for good, Wrex twisted his blade inside Jarrod's chest. The Nevembat is a long, curved blade... the hard twist left no lung or heart untouched, and the Warlord's body did not possess enough redundant systems to recover from such a finishing blow. He dropped his blade and clawed weakly at Wrex's hand as his eyes glazed over and he collapsed back against the stone column, never to rise again.

Wrex blinked and stepped back, withdrawing his blade and looking once again out to the Hollows. The fight had been concluded and three of Wrex's tribe still stood. As true Krogan, they had not joined Wrex in the final fight against Jarrod; it had become an honor match, one-on-one with traditional blades and none dared interfere in such a contest. Wrex looked over the three and addressed the senior-ranked Krogan remaining. "Urdnot Chenk. I give you leadership of the tribe. I am leaving."

Chenk nodded in agreement and thought he understood Wrex's intentions. "Of course, Clan Leader. You must take your rightful place as Urdnot Prime. Know you will have the full support of the tribe in your claim."

Wrex shook his head. "No. I am leaving Tuchanka." The three warriors were shocked into silence as Wrex continued. "I am too young. I would be constantly challenged by every tribe leader we have other than you. Even should I win, Urdnot would lose by my killing so many of our best fighters. My ascension would be the end of Urdnot. The majority of the clan would still rather die in battle than try to rebuild our society. They want to engage in pointless violence and I will no longer be a part of it."

Chenk finally found his voice. "But what will you do? Where will you go?"

Wrex shrugged. "I will go to Omega and hire on as a merc. At least for a while. Maybe I will once again find honor in being Krogan. When I do, I will return to Tuchanka and once again try to help our people. Keep the tribe well, Urdnot Chenk."

With that, Wrex picked up Warlord Jarrod's Nevembat and cleaned it in the sand before placing it at his waist next to his own. He glanced a final time at the corpse, "You will not need a blade in the Void. Drink your Ryncol and feast happily on the internal organs of your enemies. I will eventually join you at Kruban, father, but I hope not for at least a thousand years."


	22. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is after the first time Shepard and Liara make love, and Shepard decides to go to the Mess to get Liara breakfast in bed. Occurs during First Life, Ch 18.

Shepard was awake, but definitely not ready to get up yet, happily lying in bed cuddled with Liara, who was still sleeping soundly against her side. She was content to just hold her lover a bit longer, relishing in the heavenly scents of eezo and Thessian rose that rode the air with every inhale across the back of Liara's neck. She still couldn't believe the shy Asari scientist had practically demanded she make love to her last night, and really hoped Liara didn't wake up this morning feeling guilt or remorse. Either reaction could lead to serious complications in their budding romance; nothing insurmountable, but Shepard really didn't want to have to climb that mountain. They still had a few hours before they reached Citadel space, plenty of time for a leisurely morning and breakfast. _Hmmmm. Breakfast_. Thoughts of breakfast actually made the commander decide maybe it was time to get up after all. With Wrex on board, if they waited too long there wouldn't be anything left to eat but cold cereal or oatmeal...all the bacon, eggs and potatoes would have long since disappeared into the Krogan's stomach. She gave Liara an affectionate squeeze and snuck her arm out from underneath in an attempt to not wake the Asari, all to no avail. As soon as Shepard started to pull away, Liara's sleepy blue eyes crawled open and her face lit with a small, welcoming smile, prompting Shepard to lean in and give her a kiss on the forehead. "Morning, Blue. I'm going to go grab us some breakfast before Wrex eats it all. I'll be right back."

Liara's eyes closed again, she grabbed Shepard's pillow and mumbled, "And I'll be right here..."

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As Shepard stepped out her door onto the main crew deck, she realized quickly almost everyone was there. She hesitated only briefly before realizing she didn't really have a choice and walked over to the mess counter, grabbing a tray and a plate and starting to stack it with food... an inordinately large amount of food, plus coffee, plus juice. Her silent prayer that everyone was either too tired or too hung over to notice her went unanswered as Ashley, of course, chimed in, "A little hungry today, Skipper?"

Shepard could feel the heat crawling up her neck and hoped it wasn't visible above her N7 hoodie. "Yeah. Yesterday was a tough day, and I drank last night but didn't really put very much food in my stomach. Woke up starving." She hoped that was the end of it, but she wasn't getting off so easy.

Wrex, in his most nonchalant gruff voice, was just plain blunt. "How's Liara this morning?"

If Shepard had actually been eating any of the food piled on the plate, she would have choked on the spot. Instead, she felt her blush burn hot and realized there was no way it didn't cover her entire face now. Totally embarrassed at getting caught out, she still managed to stutter a dodging response, "I, uh, don't know. I ... haven't talked to her yet this morning."

Ashley, as much as she had encouraged the relationship, was still having a grand time with Shepard's discomfort and had started to giggle, but busted out laughing out loud when Joker sealed the deal with his comment. "So she's not awake yet? She's normally out here pretty early with me at breakfast... you must of worn her out last night."

Shepard slammed the tray down on the counter and spun on the pilot, literally growling through gritted teeth before speaking in a rather menacing tone. "JOKER! Have a little couth for Gods' sake! The girl lost her mother and was looking for company! She said she couldn't stand to be alone in her room last night!" Shepard's anger bled off into sadness. "She spent half the night crying..." Ashley's laughter immediately fell silent and everyone at the table suddenly sat up a little straighter in their chairs, even Wrex.

Shepard's personal embarrassment had instantly turned the corner to a defensive anger. It became quickly obvious to the whole lot that they could make fun of her, but T'Soni was clearly off limits. The commander had a protective streak a mile wide when it came to the young archeologist. Knowing Shepard as she did, Karin Chakwas stepped into the conversation and offered herself as the sacrificial lamb, knowing Samantha would never say or do anything to the woman who was practically an aunt. "I'm sorry, Commander. I think I'm probably to blame for this debacle. I looked in the back room this morning to check on Liara and was surprised by her absence. I didn't think when I came out here and asked if anyone had seen her. I should have realized my error then, by the number of raised eyebrows."

Shepard turned her glare to Karin and it lasted all of five seconds before she just shook her head and stared down at the floor. "Guys. I know you think it's all fun and games, but Liara really is hurting right now. She feels... lost. And she's not a soldier; she hasn't been fire-hardened, she doesn't understand our crass humor. Razz _me_ all you want, but be kind to _her_. Please?" Shepard looked back up at the now very solemn faces of her crew, realizing between her angry chastisement and Karin's confession calling it a debacle, the point had already been made. "Thanks guys."

Shepard turned back to the tray to find Food Specialist Tucks hard at work cleaning up the mess Shepard made when she slammed the tray down. He had swapped the tray out for a clean one with two plates, each was tailored to what they normally ate for breakfast, including Shepard's coffee and a pot of hot water and a couple of tea bags for Liara. "I know Dr T'Soni likes Earl Grey in the morning, Ma'am. She drinks juice the rest of the day, and then hot cocoa after dinner," he said with a bashful smile.

Shepard shook her head. "Thanks, Carlton. Appreciate it. Sorry about the mess." Shepard cracked a light smile. "She does like her hot chocolate at night, doesn't she?" Carlton nodded and waved her off without saying another word, getting back to work. Shepard almost laughed when she walked away and heard Tali, of all people, whispering in all earnestness at the table, "So, did they have comfort sex or not?"

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She slipped back into the room and Liara was still stretched out in bed, an arm thrown over the now spare pillow, just as when Shepard left. She sat the tray down on the table and crawled up behind the dozing Asari, gently kissing and nuzzling into her neck.

"Hmmm." Liara's eyes cracked open. "Good morning, Samantha."

"Hey there, Blue. How are we this morning?" Shepard whispered into her ear and planted a firm but gentle kiss on the side of the Asari's neck, right under her jaw.

Liara rolled toward the commander until she was flat on her back, looking up into a pair of pale green, concerned eyes. A pained frown flashed across her face before she schooled her expression. "Better. Well. Better than last night at midnight, anyway. But not great by any stretch of the imagination." She let out a ragged sigh. "I'm not sure how..." She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the threatening tears. "I'm just going to stop talking now." The last couple of words came out as a forced squeak and she bit her bottom lip in an attempt to keep it from trembling.

Shepard's heart broke for her, and she wrapped Liara up in a strong embrace. "Oh, Li. Come 'ere! It's going to be alright. I'm here for you." Shepard planted a soft kiss on her forehead and tenderly stroked the side of her top crests as Liara buried her face in Shepard's shoulder. It was probably the worst thing she could have done, because the minute Liara felt sheltered and safe, she let her emotions loose and the tears started all over again. "Hey now. Didn't you run out of those last night? Huh?" Samantha pushed the Asari away, forcing her out of hiding and wiped the tears away before she kissed Liara quickly on the lips.

Liara certainly wasn't expecting that, and her eyes popped open and she drew a rapid inhale of breath, but her tears stopped. Samantha planted a smile on her face. "There! That's better." She let out a soft laugh. "Who knew? My mom always used to kiss things to make them better. Wasn't sure if it would work on Asari or not. I guess it does!"

Liara drew in a deep shuddering breath and steeled her resolve to not cry any more. She knew it wouldn't last, but also knew she had to start somewhere. She looked at Shepard's forced smile and a little bit of an echo twitched up the corners of her lips as well. "Thank you, Shepard. Did you happen to bring me back any tea?"

Shepard laughed, "I almost didn't, but Carlton knows your habits and put a pot of hot water and a couple of tea bags on the breakfast tray for you. I think I should be worried that he knows that and I don't." The commander suddenly frowned. "I think I need to pay more attention to those things." She glanced at Liara. "For you."

Liara's twitch turned into an honest soft smile and her hand stroked Samantha's cheek, "You do fine, my love. You are one of the most considerate people I know."

Shepard laughed. "Oh, I'm pretty sure I could give you a long list of people who would disagree with that statement." She stood up and offered her hand to Liara, encouraging her to finally climb out of bed. "Oh, here. Wait just a sec." Shepard jogged to her closet and pulled out a robe for Liara to slip into while she ate breakfast.

While Liara drank her tea and picked at her food, Shepard told her of her 'adventure' in the Mess while getting breakfast and Liara turned an amazingly deep shade of blue. "Goddess, Shepard! How am I supposed to go out there and face them now!"

Shepard looked at her slyly. "Why, Dr T'Soni. Are you ashamed to be seen in a relationship with a mere Lieutenant Commander in the Alliance Navy?"

"What? No. That's just silly! Why would I..." Liara stopped rambling and looked at Shepard, her eyes narrowed. "Oh, you! You get me every time! Of course I'm not ashamed... and you know it. I just thought you needed to keep this quiet?"

Shepard laughed. "They all know, Liara, and they're ok with it. There's no sense in hiding it from the crew anymore, and I'm pretty sure they'll lay off for awhile after this morning. At least where you're concerned. They might harass me in private, but that's ok. I'm used to it."

Liara was getting warmed up to the idea of not having to hide her affection. "So... You're saying it would be ok to kiss you in the CIC?"

A smirk crept across the commander's face at the whole idea of Liara doing just that. "If I was just visiting and not on duty? Maybe. If I'm working? Not so much. But even so, there's still a difference between 'not hiding' and 'flaunting,' T'Soni. And then there's that whole concept of professional conduct." Shepard leaned across and kissed the Asari for good measure. "But in private, none of that matters."

Liara stood up abruptly. "In that case, Commander, I'm going to shower, get dressed and prepare myself to face them. I would be honored if you'd wait for me and escort me out to the crew."

Shepard's brow wrinkled. "Escort you to the crew? What are you planning, T'Soni? Should I be worried? You're not going to warp Joker into next Tuesday or anything, or you?"

"Well, if we're going to be together, I want to make sure everyone knows you're off limits. You're mine now, Commander."

Shocked, Shepard stood before she replied, so she could look Liara directly in the face. "Whoa, now. Did you not hear what I just said about there being a difference between 'not hiding' and 'flaunting'?"

Liara's brow pinched in consternation. "Shepard. You just said they knew already, anyway. Are you too embarrassed by our relationship to be willing to make a formal announcement, even if just among the crew?"

Shepard backpedaled immediately. "What? Embarrassed? By you? Are you crazy? No way! I.... oh. Wait a minute. Oh, that's good." Shepard smiled, relieved, as a real grin spread across Liara's face. "You got me. You're learning, T'Soni. You're learning."

With a self-satisfied smirk on her face, Liara went to take a shower and get dressed. Shepard just walked to her computer shaking her head and talking to herself. "Heh. Yeah, T'Soni... you're gonna be just fine."


	23. The Morning After, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This obviously immediately follows 'The Morning After' and is compliments of a prod received from Yestare70. I hope it meets with your approval! Occurs during First Life, Ch 18.

Liara emerged from the shower and dressed quickly while Shepard finished up a few brief messages on her terminal. "I am ready, Shepard."

The commander was all business and concentrating on the current message she was working on so the true significance of Liara's statement didn't sink in. "Ok, Blue. I'll catch you later." Shepard glanced over and cast the Asari a sad smile as she spoke. "Oh, and Liara? I don't want you to have to face the press so soon after... aahh well, you know." A sorrowful frown replaced the smile as she continued. "I'm happy to pick up anything you might need so you don't have to go off ship. So, just give me a list and I'll grab it for you." Her attention immediately returned to her message terminal and she continued typing her response.

Liara's hands went to her hips in consternation and she cleared her throat loudly. Shepard glanced up. "Sorry. Something else you needed?"

Liara's brow markings raised in disbelief. "Really. I don't know how you manage to command a ship if your memory is so short, Commander."

Shepard furrowed her brow in concentration, trying to think of what she had forgotten, her mouth suddenly forming an 'oh' as she bolted up from her chair, sending it flying back in her haste. "I... uhm... I thought you were kidding?" The look she got from the Asari told her Liara had definitely _not_ been joking. "Ok. Not kidding. Right. I'm on it."

Shepard grabbed her service top and put it on over top of her compression shirt in record time... or at least she thought. As she got to the top button, she realized she was one off and had to undo them all and start over. Liara rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly at the commander's nervousness. "Samantha, as you said, they already know. It's not like you're introducing me to your mother."

That almost stopped Shepard cold. _Egad. I need to do that, too._ Shepard swallowed down the jitters threatening to engulf her every thought and finished buttoning up her top. Shepard stood up straight and took a deep calming breath before holding out her arm for the Asari. As Liara slid her hand through the crook in her elbow to link their arms, Shepard realized for all of Liara's cool demeanor, she wasn't the only nervous one. Liara's hand was clammy and her arm radiated a prickly heat, as if her biotics were roiling just under her skin, itching to escape. They advanced to the door and Shepard glanced over before she punched the door activator panel. "Ready?"

Liara was amazed at how much trepidation one word caused and was unable to get her voice to cooperate, so ended up just giving a quick nod as she swallowed, trying to reopen her throat. She suddenly thought the room felt awfully warm and everything seemed to move in slow motion as Shepard reached out and keyed the door. Her feet moved forward automatically when Shepard gave a little tug on her arm. _Goddess! I think I've just gone completely crazy. What was I thinking to demand this!_ Her confidence vanished like the door disappearing into the wall and she abruptly clamped onto Shepard's arm as if it was her only lifeline. Shepard glanced sideways and whispered quietly, "Ow?"

Liara forced herself to relax her vise-like grip on Shepard's arm and cast her a look of apology, squeaking out, "Sorry." She exhaled lightly in relief; at least her voice was working again... sort of. As soon as Ashley saw them arm-in-arm, her eyes went wide and she whispered something to the tables at large. Word traveled quickly and soon the scratch of chairs was heard resonating throughout the Mess as every single one of the crew pushed back and angled their chairs to watch the approaching 'couple.'

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle as Liara mumbled under her breath, "Oh, Goddess!" She suddenly turned to Shepard, a look of fear bordering on terror in her eyes as she whispered urgently, "Shepard! I..."

The commander shook her head with a smile. "Too late now, Doctor. We're committed." Liara just blinked slowly, accepted her self-imposed fate and nodded to the affirmative. "Don't worry, Blue. I got this." Liara's face was instantly lit with an anxious smile of thanks.

They came to a stop in front of the crew and Shepard dropped Liara's arm in favor of wrapping her arm around the Asari's waist and pulling her close. Watching the differing crew reactions around the Mess provided some distraction for poor Liara, but did little to ease her disquiet. At the large center table where the ground team always sat, Wrex was a rock as he waited for the storm to pass over, knowing that nothing either would say would affect how he felt or acted toward them. Tali could barely maintain her seat, her level of excitement practically tossing her out of her chair. Ashley leaned back and crossed her arms, something between a smile and a smirk playing across her face and Karin beamed at them, thinking there weren't two people in the galaxy who more deserved a little bit of happiness. Garrus sat down at the end, his mandibles twitching in what Shepard and Liara interpreted as mirth. Joker grinned like a fool and poked around on his omnitool. Shepard glared at him and growled, "Don't even _think_ about recording this, Flight Lieutenant Moreau, or you'll never sit in a pilot's chair again once we reach the Citadel." Joker's face went white and his fingers worked frantically on his omnitool as he turned off the recording and deleted the entire entry. Liara gave the commander a hard look and poked her hard in the ribs with her elbow. A few of the surrounding crew laughed as Shepard let out a light grunt and glanced at Liara with a slight frown. She shrugged her shoulders and started. "Liara... uhm... recommended... that we do a bit of rumor control to stop all the speculation and gossip. A frigate is a tight, small community and it's obviously very difficult to hide things from one another. That said, we felt it appropriate to confirm that yes, we are a couple. You all probably know it's been building for a long time, and... well, we finally decided to give it a go just after Feros."

Now that Shepard had gotten the ball rolling with a seemingly friendly reception from the crew, Liara felt her confidence returning. Once again sure it was the right decision, but also sure the commander wouldn't want to address the more pressing issues, Liara spoke up. "I feel the need to clarify." They were all surprised, including Shepard, when Liara's head came up and she gave the entire center table a rather _frigid_ glance. "We desired to keep this a private issue, for reasons I don't feel should be necessary to explain, but something happened this morning that indicated we could no longer do so." Liara blushed deeply, but her voice remained hard. "Our personal relationship is just that. Ours... and personal." She glared primarily at Joker and then her steel-blue gaze drifted over the entire table, ending on poor Tali. "It is not up for community debate or discussion and is not to be the source of jokes or teasing. I would like to think you all respect us enough to honor that request now that it is made. Samantha is mine, as I am hers, and I will do what is necessary to protect that." Everyone but Wrex sat up a little straighter as a noticeable ripple of energy passed unintentionally through Liara, her emotions momentarily getting the better of her self-control. Her eyes and her voice softened as she continued. "You all are the closest thing I now have remaining to me of family." Liara's voice broke, but she pressed on, her voice now quiet, almost a whisper that the crew members farther away strained to hear. "I love you all and cherish your friendship, but I will not let disrespect go unchallenged."

Newly anointed Naval Lieutenant Williams stood up and was the first one to speak. "Aye Aye, Ma'am. Understood." Ashley's voice boomed through the Mess. "And what is said here will not leave this ship under any circumstances. We all know that what's said on the Normandy, stays on the Normandy." Her gaze traveled quickly around the entire room and settled on Joker. "Don't we?" There was a resounding, "Ma'am. Yes, Ma'am!" from all the enlisted crew, but even Joker offered a quick nod; message received. Ashley's gaze then shifted to Tali, whose earlier excitement vanished as she tried to wilt into her chair.

Everyone jumped at a sudden loud screech of a chair being pushed out. Wrex stood and his loud voice echoed off the bulkhead. "If we're all done stating the obvious, I've got shit to do."

It started with Shepard, but soon the whole group was chuckling and everyone could feel the tension ooze out and fade away as Wrex stomped off to the elevator. Shepard looked to a very relieved Liara, "Well. That didn't go quite as I expected..." A grin split her face. "... and you did say you were going to stake your claim. I think everyone got the picture." Shepard leaned over and whispered quietly so only Liara would hear, "And I've said this before, but it bears repeating. You are _very_ sexy when you take charge."

Once again Liara blushed a deep blue, this time bringing both hands up to cover her incredibly hot feeling face and mumbling something into her hands Shepard couldn't make out. The folks in the mess included many support personnel who weren't sitting at the main table with the ground team, but they all liked the commander. She always made a concerted effort to walk the crew decks, get to know them, make sure they were doing ok and that they had everything they needed. Everyone present made a point of waving or catching her eye with a nod of approval and an unspoken promise to take care of her as she took care of them, before they headed off to their posts. The crowd dwindled and soon the only ones remaining were Garrus, Tali and Karin. Garrus' mandibles still twitched. "It's not against regulations, because Liara's not technically crew, but you're treading a fine line, Shepard. Of course you're a Spectre, and Liara's not even military, so you have to wonder which regulations actually apply anyway."

Shepard laughed. "Garrus? Shut up and give me a hug."

The big Turian laughed and pulled them both into his embrace. "You know I'm happy for you and I'm just giving you a hard time. With the shit we've seen, I say grab happiness wherever you can find it!" He paused only briefly before pulling back. "I've got to finish up the Mako. I'll see you guys later."

Tali stepped up and even with her suit and dark visor, Liara could tell she was upset. Liara stepped in and hugged her. "Don't worry about it, Tali. I know you come from a completely different culture and our rules are hard to adjust to for such a social race like the Quarians. I know that no insult or affront was intended, so there is none taken."

Tali's sniff was heard by all, but she gave no indication she was embarrassed by it. "I'm still sorry. I was trying to be quiet, but I know you still heard me this morning, Shepard. I'm sorry. It was rude and inconsiderate."

Shepard laughed. "It really is ok, Tali. When I heard you ask the question, _I_ almost laughed. It actually was kind of funny. I overreacted a bit this morning. I really am a private person, and being the first Human Spectre and all the publicity about Saren... Everything around me has become a media circus. I just want something of my life to stay mine and not belong to the whole damn galaxy." She reached over and drew Liara close to her side. "And things just haven't been exactly easy the last couple of days."

Liara leaned into the commander's shoulder and hung her head at the unwelcome reminder, squeezing her eyes closed in an attempt to maintain her resolution of no more tears. A couple of deep breaths later, she opened them again, eyes glassy, but not tearing. Tali's voice seemed lighter as she spoke. "Well, good then. I'm working with Adams to try to maximize our efficiencies before our final push to Ilos. I'll see you later."

As Tali left, Karin stepped in, her face glowing with happiness. "I've probably known this was coming longer than anyone... including you two!" They all laughed at how resistant and dense they were at the start. Karin shook her head, "All these people and no one bothered to say it, so I will. Congratulations. I know you two will be very happy together." Karin's eyes twinkled. "And Shepard. I wouldn't wait too long to tell your mother, or I just might let it slip in our next conversation."

Shepard's eyes flew wide and her jaw dropped. "Karin! Don't you dare! I'll tell her, but I'll determine the when and the where." She glanced at Liara and gave her a little squeeze. "I'm thinking when this Saren thing is over, I should be able to take some leave time. I'd like to be able to introduce Liara in person."

Karin smiled, "Alright, Commander. My lips are sealed." With a wave, she turned and retreated to the med bay, leaving Shepard and Liara alone in the Mess with only Specialist Tucks, the Mess sergeant.

Liara sighed and leaned into Shepard again, wrapping her arms around the commander's waist. "Are you on duty yet?"

Shepard's arm came up so she could check the time, "No, not yet. I've got twelve minutes. Why?"

Liara blushed and a bashful smile spread across her lips. Even though they were standing in the middle of the Mess, her hand went up and ran through Shepard's hair and she pulled Samantha's head around as she whispered, "Because."

Her lips hit Sam's and the commander grunted in surprise, "Liara!" as her face turned bright red. She tried to turn her head to look around and see if anyone was watching, but Liara had a firm grip on her hair and was having none of it. Liara was still kissing her lips even as her lover protested, but Shepard's protest didn't last long. She gave in and smiled as she whispered into Liara's lips, "Oh, hell with it," and finally returned the kiss. Twelve minutes can be a very long time.


	24. The Two Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the two-day hospital stay while Shepard is being treated for her injuries after the final fight with Saren and Sovereign. Occurs during First Life, between Ch 19 and 20.

Liara heard Wrex call out to Shepard and she snapped her head up to scan the debris field. Motion in the far corner caught her eye and she focused on a flash of auburn. It didn't even register with the Asari that the commander had somehow lost her helmet; such a minor detail was overridden by the fact Samantha was alive... and walking toward Liara under her own power. The fear and adrenalin that was keeping her on her feet faded with the sight of her lover climbing through the remains of the Council Chambers and Liara sank to her knees, thanking the Goddess for her beneficence and the return of her newly discovered partner. As the commander cleared the last obstacle, Liara dug deep for the required energy to rise and meet her and hobbled slowly forward. She saw Samantha pause and close her eyes and panic threatened to engulf the Asari for just a brief instant... until the commander's eyes opened once more and she resumed her journey. Liara gasped out the breath she was holding and hurried as best she could to her love. They crashed together and Shepard grunted in pain. Liara let out a quick exclamation, "Oh, Goddess! I'm so sorry, Shepard!" before she showered Samantha's face with kisses. She touched her forehead to Samantha and her eyes were starting to go black when she heard Captain Anderson clear his throat and she forced back her desire for the light meld, her eyes returning to a crystal blue.

Shepard laughed with joy and looked around, finally realizing there were a lot more people in the room with them. When she noticed Anderson, she broke out into a huge grin. "God damned good to see you, Anderson!"

Captain Anderson just shook his head, a wide smile on his face, and said, "Likewise, Commander. Let's get you all out of here."

The rescue teams poured in and shifted everyone but Wrex onto a stretcher to haul them out and get them to the hospital. They all breathed a sigh of relief when Wrex declined a ride on a gurney; they had no idea how they were going to carry a ton of up-armored Krogan without an anti-gravity lift, and they didn't have one with them. Once loaded in the ambulance and enroute to Huerta Memorial, Shepard let herself relax and found herself unable to stay awake; she slipped rapidly into unconsciousness. As they burst into the hospital, the emergency response team shouted at one of the attending physicians, Dr Chloe Michel. "Doc, blood pressure's crashing! She's gotta have a bleeder, probably from the shrapnel puncture!"

Chloe grabbed Shepard's dog tags and then glanced over her shoulder at a med tech. "Push three units B-Neg synth. Now! Put her in O-R two!" While the crew moved Shepard to an operating table and Doctor Michel stepped into a sanitization unit, the lead field medic gave her the run down. "She took a hard hit to the left side. Two broken ribs, stabilized. Reset a left shoulder dislocation and the wrap on her head is holding a cold-pack... left side contusion and probable concussion. Gunshot wound was small caliber, pistol or machine-pistol, happened a while ago and was sealed with medigel, no exit wound so she has ammo still wandering around in there somewhere. Only other active injury is the hunk of shrapnel hanging out of her left thigh. I didn't want to pull it during transport. We just stabilized it best we could to prevent further damage." The sanitizer beeped, signaling the cycle was complete, and Doctor Michel nodded a quick thank you to the medic and dived into the operation. The savior of the Citadel was not dying on her table. Not today.

\-----------------------------

After Liara's gunshot wounds had been stitched and the skin regenerated, she had been released for light duty but she wasn't going anywhere. She hovered anxiously in the waiting room waiting for news on Shepard, along with Wrex, Captain Anderson and Dr Chakwas. When Dr Michel finally emerged, Karin immediately took the lead. "Chloe, thank God. I know Shepard was in good hands, but I'm sorry I couldn't get here fast enough to assist. How is she?"

Chloe smiled. "Karin! Good to see you! Your help would have been appreciated, but the commander's going to be fine. She gave us a scare, though. Too much movement before the medics got that piece of shrapnel stabilized, and it nicked the lower lateral femoral circumflex artery."

Karin's eyes got wide as she responded, "Thank God it happened in the ambulance on the way here! You say she's fine, so you obviously found it quickly and got her stabilized?"

"Yes. But between that and her other injuries, she still took seven units of synth by the time we were done. Once we located the penetration, the arterial repair was relatively easy and the tissue was in good condition, so I anticipate a full recovery with no complications, though she'll require a bit of physical therapy. The shrapnel ripped right through the center of the left quadriceps rectus femoris muscle. Her leg is going to be quite sore for a while." Chloe continued her rundown of the rest of Shepard's injuries, ending with the concussion. "Now, the only thing that concerns me is the concussion. She's still in and out from the anesthesia, so I haven't been able to evaluate the severity of the head injury yet. Scans show it to be only mild, but I'm withholding diagnosis until she's actually awake and responsive."

Karin nodded. "Thank you, Chloe. I know you're busy, so I'll let you get back to it. I'll stay with Shepard, so don't worry about her. Take care of the rest of these poor souls."

Dr Michel thanked her, gave them Shepard's room number, and headed back into the treatment area, vanishing behind the swinging doors. Karin turned to find two sets of expectant eyes. "I suppose you want all that translated into layman's terms, yes?"

Wrex didn't really care; he heard the doctor say Shepard was going to be fine. Since he didn't care about the details, he trundled off to go find the commander as soon as he heard the room number. "I'll see you all in a bit. The Doc said Shepard's going to be fine. I'm going to make sure she stays that way."

\-----------------------------

Wrex hung around in Shepard's room, to the great annoyance of the nurses trying to take care of the commander. Asking him to leave was completely pointless; the only response they got was a growl. If they wanted to touch Commander Shepard, they had to get past Wrex first, and he glowered at them the entire time they were in the room. He made it agonizingly obvious he didn't want anything bad to happen to the commander while under their care. It took Dr Chakwas personally vouching for the hospital staff before Wrex relaxed enough to give them free access...but he still watched. Karin thought them all lucky that Wrex had been on the Normandy long enough to come to trust her judgment, or treatment would have remained exceedingly difficult. As it turned out, Karin figured a Krogan bodyguard wasn't necessarily a bad thing and thanked the big lug for watching out for Shepard. Karin was both touched and surprised by the longest string of words she'd ever heard Wrex put together at one time.

"It is not a deed that needs thanks. She trusted in me enough to let me come along for the ride. She was willing to take on an extra mission to help me recover my ancestral armor. She helped me destroy the abominations they dared call Krogan on Virmire, and just like she promised she would, she took me to the final battle with Saren. While she and Liara bounced that thing back and forth, I got to fire the final kill shot that ultimately turned him into ash. She is many things. A respected commander and a trusted ally. My sister-in-arms and my Krantt. My best friend. That makes her and her mate family. So now, I will watch over my family until they are fully capable of doing it again on their own." His flame-orange eyes remained focused on the door, watching for the next victim who dared enter his temporary domain. Karin looked at Liara but said nothing. There were tears in the young Asari's eyes as she gazed in astonishment at the Krogan at the door.

\-----------------------------

It was late in the evening when Shepard finally came to her senses and realized she hurt all over. Her head. Her shoulder. Her ribs. Her leg. _Ouch_. She groaned in pain just trying to shift on the bed to get more comfortable. She heard Karin's voice from her right before she even got her eyes open, and someone gripped her left hand from the other side of the bed. _Liara_. She'd know the soft texture of that hand anywhere.

"Are you with us, Commander?" From the tone, Shepard realized quickly it was Dr Chakwas speaking, not Karin.

"Yeah, Doc. I'm here, though kinda wishing I was still asleep. Hurts like a bitch." She felt a squeeze of her left hand accompanied by a loving stroke up her arm, and heard a chuckle from Karin.

"You're lucky to be alive, Shepard. I wouldn't complain if I were you. Liara described what it was like in the Council Chambers. Sounded horrid." Karin sighed. "Anyway, that's in the past, and you're still here in the present. That's what matters. Now, are you going to go back to sleep, or do you think you could open those baby greens for me? You have a concussion, and I need to see how responsive your pupils are."

Shepard's eyelids fluttered and they cracked open for just the merest of moments before reclosing. Karin wasn't pleased when Shepard passed out again before she could complete the examination and noted in the file that the commander should remain under observation for at least forty-eight hours, if not seventy-two, depending on how she responded over the next couple of days. She sat back down to wait...again. She and Liara ended up spending a rather uncomfortable night dozing off and on in their chairs, as the commander repeated her brief visit twice more, before fully regaining consciousness the next morning. When Karin was finally able to perform a complete examination, she stuck by her forty-eight to seventy-two hour observation period and noted the results of her exam so Dr Michel would be able to review them. "Well, Commander. You seem to be doing well enough that I'm going to go relax for a bit, grab some lunch and give you two some private time. No melding during your observation period... your brain needs rest." She looked pointedly at Liara, who first blushed and then nodded in silent acceptance. Before she left, Karin adjusted Shepard's bed to a sitting position for lunch and then glared at the Krogan. "Now, Wrex. I assume you can stand guard from _outside_ the door just as well?"

The big Krogan grumbled, but agreed, and followed Chakwas out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. As the door closed, Shepard turned her head to look at the devoted Asari at her side. "Hey Blue." Her voice was quiet and still slightly raspy from the anesthesia-induced sleep. "You ok?"

Liara's face was lit with happiness now that Samantha was awake and speaking. "Yes, love. Especially now. My heart was broken when I thought I'd lost you, so soon after discovering what we could be to one another." Liara sniffed and blinked away tears before they fell. "But as Karin said, it's in the past, and you're here now, with me, and we are both alive... and I am greatly relieved." She leaned forward and gave the commander a quick peck on the lips, happy to have her back but not wanting to stress her body. A light blush spread across her cheeks as she withdrew.

Samantha smiled, "You should know I'm not going to give you up that easy." She groaned again as she shifted slightly on the bed. "Damn. They could make these things a bit more comfortable, don't ya think?"

Liara laughed. "I don't know. I do not spend near as much time in them as you seem to. Perhaps you should consider my strategy, rather than how to make the beds softer for yours."

Shepard grunted in pain as she inadvertently barked out a hard laugh. "Ow! T'Soni, you wound me. You're getting better at your short zingers lately. The crew has taught you too well!" Shepard reached up and brushed her fingers across the attractive blush that glowed on Liara's face. "Speaking of which, how did the Normandy fare?"

Liara's smile and her blush faded as she put on her business mask. "Well, you've seen me and Wrex, so you know we are fine. One of Tali's suit ruptures resulted in an infection, so they put her in an isolation ward for ten days, where she'll receive a full course of antibiotics.   Other than that, she was in pretty good shape. She'll be happy to hear you're going to recover in a few days' time."

"Good. I was worried about her. I know those suits are supposed to automatically seal off individual sections of the suit in the event of breach, but she really took a beating. She's tough, though." Shepard squeezed Liara's hand. "Like you."

Liara smiled lightly, "Like me? You mean she also breaks down and cries every time she gets somewhere private after seeing you injured?  That's assuming she's even able to get somewhere private, first."

Shepard looked chagrined. "I'm sorry, Liara. I hate that me getting injured is so hard for you. I'm afraid as an Alliance Vanguard, that's not going to change any time soon." Shepard blinked a couple of times before casting her eyes elsewhere, unable to look Liara in the face.

She felt Liara's hand on her cheek, pulling her head back around to look at her as she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Samantha's lips, lingering a little longer this time to reassure the commander. "That's just who you are, Shepard. You throw yourself willingly into harm's way to prevent others from getting injured. As much as I dislike it, it's also one of the things I love about you. Your compassion and your dedication to your friends and your crew...it's part of what make you who you are. And you are exceptional at what you do. I wouldn't have you any other way." Liara paused for a second, rethinking her last statement. "Actually, I may not wish _you_ to be any different, but I'd rather the galaxy be a place where such self-sacrifice wasn't necessary anymore."

Shepard's smile returned to her face. "And that's one of the things I love about you. Your kind and gentle exterior surrounds a constitution of titanium. You hope for and want the best, while at the same time preparing yourself in the event the worst comes to pass. You're stronger than most people give you credit for. I know better. I've seen your strength."

Liara blushed and answered very quietly. "Yes, well, that's mostly due to you. And while you are my strength, you are also my greatest weakness. To see you hurt tears my heart apart, and I would do or give anything to see it not so. But my heart heals just as your injuries do, and I wouldn't want to limit the passion with which you live and breathe for anything, so wipe the regret from your face and the protest from your lips, because they are not necessary." Liara leaned forward and placed yet another kiss on the commander's lips to keep her from speaking any more words of apology. "Now. The Normandy. The ship fared well, but we've run her hard these past months and she took a couple of hits during the battle so it will take a few weeks to complete the repairs. While she's in, they'll also complete a few minor retrofits and give her a new paint job. So, the Alliance has given the entire crew two weeks of paid shore leave during the retrofits."

"Sweet!" Shepard's face brightened at the news. "If we get a chance, I'd love to finally introduce you to my mom. Would that be ok?"

A flash of hesitation flew across Liara's face before she smiled, but once she did, Shepard could tell it was an honest one and not forced there for her benefit. "Yes. I think that would be nice. I will look forward to meeting the woman who raised such an inspiring daughter." Liara paused only briefly before continuing. "Then if at all possible, I need to continue on to Thessia." Liara saw a cloud pass over Shepard's expression. "You with me, of course..." The cloud lifted slightly. "I have business to attend to, but I would also like to introduce you to my homeworld. Where I grew up, both in Armali and out on the country estate."

Shepard tried to sit up straighter and groaned, relaxing back onto the bed and beckoning Liara to her. As Liara leaned forward for a kiss, Shepard grabbed her and pulled her into a gentle hug, to which the Asari happily acquiesced. "Oh, Shepard. Thank the Goddess you came through this alright. I'm not sure what I would have done had you... had anything happened to you."

Shepard held on long enough to whisper in her ear, "You're strong, Liara, and you're young. You would have recovered and moved on. I can't say how long it would have taken, but you would do it. But it doesn't matter, because I'll be fine." Shepard released her hold with one last extra squeeze, and Liara stood back up.

Shepard narrowed her eyes in concentration. "That does beg a question though, Liara." She put the question together in her head before finally voicing it. "What about after? I have two weeks, then I need to come back. What will you do to stay busy after I leave? I know you're not just going to sit around waiting on me."

Liara was instantly shattered. Her face fell and she stuttered, "You...You're leaving me behind? On... Thessia? Do you not... want me... on your Spectre squad anymore, Shepard?" Liara had to force the question out from between her lips.

"What?" Shepard's face reflected an equivalent shock. "Wait. You want to stay? With me, I mean? You just said you have stuff on Thessia you need to do." Shepard shook her head in her confusion. "By the Gods, Liara! Of course I want you with me! I just thought... from the way you talked about continuing on to Thessia, I thought you meant to _stay_ there!"

Liara cried out in delight. "Oh, thank the Goddess! Don't scare me like that! I have an executor watching the estate! What I need to do on Thessia is make long term arrangements with her! I want to stay with you, Shepard! Always!" Liara leaned back in for a slightly more exuberant hug as a smile of joy spread rapidly across her face.

Their continued banter was eventually interrupted by Dr Michel bringing them dinner and checking Shepard over yet one more time. "Well, Commander. You seem to be doing well. As long as you get a good night's sleep and don't regress overnight, I think tomorrow we can open your room to visitors in addition to your significant other and your bodyguard."

Shepard grinned. "That would be awesome, Doctor. The crew has been pestering Liara all day with messages asking how I am. I don't think they'll really believe it until they see for themselves. How about an estimate on when I can get out of here?"

Chloe smiled, "Garrus did say you were always the impatient one. Always ready to charge ahead. Something to do with being an Alliance Vanguard, I believe. But no worries, Commander. I imagine if you have a second good night in a row and can get up and move around on your own by then... I would think the following morning. And we're bringing a chair in here for Wrex." Chloe stopped to laugh. "He's scaring people and disrupting traffic in the hallway. The administrator wanted me to keep you for a third day, to be safe, until almost everyone at the staff meeting complained about the Krogan thug threatening to snack on the staff if they hurt you!" They sat and chatted for a bit while Shepard ate, and Chloe remarking on her excellent appetite.

Shepard shrugged. "Yesterday we had breakfast, and at some point during the chase we shared an energy bar. I woke up after breakfast today, and for some reason they thought since I hadn't had any hard food for a while, all I could have for lunch was soup and some crackers. It didn't last very long. I'm starving!"

Chloe frowned at the mention of soup and crackers and pulled the commander's chart. "Shepard. I'm sorry... that's all my fault. I failed to annotate that you were to be placed on a Biotic diet! I'll get it fixed right away, and I'll make sure they bring up a high-calorie snack and electrolyte drink in a couple of hours. You need to replenish your reserves."

After that, Chloe stepped out, and not long after that a couple of orderlies showed up with more comfortable chairs for Wrex and Liara.

\-------------------------------

The next day, a number of the crew came and went, mostly the ground team members, but a few others showed up as well. Most notable was Food Specialist Carlton Tucks... with a bag of fresh made oatmeal cookies. "I know what it's like trying to survive on hospital food. No way I'll leave you to their mercy, Commander! Also, in the bottom of the bag is an extra little pouch with some of those little sweet eezo cubes Dr T'Soni likes." Carlton shrugged his shoulders and let out his characteristic shy little laugh. "I mean, she's here like, all the time, taking care of you, so I thought she deserved a little treat too."

Shepard was also allowed to have her omnitool back and she promptly called her mom and then made travel arrangements to get to the fleet and then on to Thessia. The day went extremely well and by the afternoon, by hanging onto Liara's arm for support, Shepard was able to get up and take a short stroll to the common room at reception, where she ran into Dr Michel. Chloe's eyes zeroed in on the commander as soon as she came through the doors. "Well, Commander! Look at you. I guess tomorrow morning you'll probably be leaving us, assuming your stroll doesn't have any negative effects. Get yourself back to your room and don't overdo it. I want you out of here tomorrow and would hate to see you do something silly that might prevent that from happening."

Shepard laughed. "Trust me, Doc. Liara here had us stop three times to sit down to rest. She's not taking any chances. We have travel plans, and she wants to make sure I can handle the trip. This is a supervised test drive, not a lover's stroll."

Chloe had to laugh at the expression on Liara's face, telling her that what Shepard said was completely true, but that she also didn't appreciate being 'outed' so publicly. Chloe shook her head as she guided them back to the elevator to return to the inpatient floor. "Fine, I'll leave you to the care of your private doctor, but do me a favor and at least stay on your own floor. I'm surprised Wrex didn't follow you down here."

Shepard's eyes got wide. "Ooooh no! He tried, but one glare from Liara brought that boy to heel. He knows better than to take on Dr T'Soni once her mind is made up! Even Wrex won't go there!"

Chloe looked at the sweetly smiling Asari before her. "Hmmm. They always do say to watch out for the quiet ones. I think perhaps I may have misread you, Doctor. I'll see you both in the morning. Now, back to your own floor. Doctor's orders."

The next morning, Chloe woke them bright and early at 8 AM. A quick exam with brief follow-up instructions for what remained of her injuries, and Shepard was cleared from the hospital. Shepard and Liara stepped into the bathroom to shower and dress, and when they stepped out ready to depart, Wrex handed them Shepard's discharge paperwork, saying Dr Michel had dropped them off while they were otherwise indisposed. He then cleared his throat. "Shepard. Thanks for a hell of a ride. You're back up and about, getting out of this hell hole, and you've got a strong mate at your side. I gave some thought to what you've been saying about Tuchanka. You're right; it's time I go back and see what I can do to change things. I'm not two hundred anymore. I can probably make a real difference now, even if it will take knocking some heads. But I'm ready to do that. It's time the Krogan quit being mercenaries for hire and work for ourselves for a change. You're always welcome on Tuchanka, and in regards to Sovereign, I'll just say this... if you find any more big monsters, you call me. The Krogan will come help you kill them!"

\-------------------------------

A somewhat dumfounded Shepard and T'Soni left the hospital, suddenly and unexpectedly minus their Krogan teammate. Shepard had _hoped_ Wrex would think about returning to Tuchanka, but for him to so abruptly announce it and turn and leave without hardly a goodbye caught them both by surprise. Still in shock from Wrex's hasty departure, they made their way back to the ship and packed their bags for the trip, then headed to the temporary quarters the Council had provided for the entire crew. They would have preferred to stay onboard the Normandy for the single night they had before their departure, but they weren't allowed to stay on the ship while repair work was being completed. Shepard had to attend to Council duties first in the morning, then their vacation would begin in earnest, with a short relay hop to the Fleet and the SSV Kilimanjaro. As they walked to their room, an anti-gravity cart in tow with all their bags, they were both very much looking forward to their next two weeks together. They had no Normandy to fly, no rogue Spectre to hunt. A real vacation to spend together. It was going to be perfect.


	25. Do Not Pass Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the attempt on Liara's life in the ill-fated endeavor to gain access to the vast inheritance from Benezia. Occurs at the end of First Life and rolls into the very beginning of Only Hope Remains, Ch 1. Their transport to Thessia is the Jorius II Corvette, not yet named as the Aletheia, procured by Captain Tanni. The Echo Game is explained in QS 8: Blaze of Glory, and used w/permission from Elizabeth Carter's 'Phoenix' series (Rising from the Ashes, Ch 13).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ardat - demon  
> nara - literally "bearer"; one who shoulders another's burden, aids others in difficult times  
> Tides - Asari saying commonly invoked to put aside frustration; an expression of exasperation.

Liara was pressed tight to the Spectre's side, and Shepard could tell she was tense, so she grabbed her hand and gave a look that translated into "meld with me." After some initial resistance, Liara finally acquiesced and Sam was assaulted by a swirl of emotions, indicating just how unsettled Liara's thoughts were. Shepard pushed a wave of steady, loving support across the meld and waited for Liara to settle her emotions enough to tell her what was wrong.

_{You're ok, Blue. Breathe. I'm here for you. Talk to me...}_

Liara was unable to find the right words, but finally managed to at least get a start. _{I haven't been home in almost thirty years, Shepard. Not since...when I...not since my mother and I had our falling out. I... I always assumed my homecoming would involve a reconciliation...seeing Thessia again, knowing she is not here... It is...difficult.}_ Silent tears found their way out of the corners of Liara's eyes, and Shepard turned to pull her in close, cheek to cheek.

There was no attempt to stop the tears; Shepard let her cry to release all her bottled emotions. _{You know I'm here for you. You are not alone. We'll face this together, and together there is nothing we can't handle. I love you, Liara T'Soni. Don't you ever forget that and don't you ever doubt that I'll support you, whatever your choices and where ever your path may take you.}_

As the transport touched down, Liara took a deep breath and withdrew from the meld, loving the devoted pillar of support that stood rock-solid before her. Separating from Shepard, she wiped away her own tears and put a light smile on her face as she reached out and took Samantha's hand, saying simply, "I know." Hand-in-hand, the pair walked back to the main compartment. As the door of the transport opened, they looked at each other, smiled, and knowing the obstacles that lay before them, carefully stepped out into the brilliant Thessian sunshine.

Liara was met at the ship by a commando honor guard and escorted into the house. Shepard felt the homecoming to the Armali townhome was somewhat awkward, more so for Liara than anyone because she was basically taking her mother's place in the household. It was an odd dynamic, because even though Liara was now the principal of House T'Soni, she was still someone who the Asari regarded as a very young maiden, and the House Steward, Aratiana Axeuss, was a mature matron. It was even worse when Liara was introduced to the appointed Regent selected by Tevos; Matriarch Mozia was an older matriarch, started into her tenth century. All three Asari ended up bowing to one other, for different reasons, and Liara's youth and inexperience definitely showed through when her deep blush indicated just how flustered she was having a matron and matriarch nod in respect to her as Lady T'Soni. It was made worse when Liara introduced Shepard solely by her Spectre title and Aratiana assumed she was merely an escort assigned by Councilor Tevos. Her assumption was somewhat validated by Shepard having emerged from their Corvette in full armor because of the threat made on Liara's life. Liara blushed again as she stuttered her way through a brief explanation as to just who Shepard was, and that she'd be staying with Liara in the master suite, not in the commando quarters. The difference in age and experience between the two Asari was blatantly obvious when Aratiana's graceful and sincere apology didn't contain even the slightest hint of discomfort or embarrassment. Shepard watched her own esteem rise within the household when Mozia articulated a welcome to Thessia to the Spectre in Galactic Standard and Shepard responded to her in near perfect Thessian; surprise and approval was openly reflected in Mozia's eyes and those of all the house staff within hearing distance. Shepard silently thanked her early exposure to Liara's native language through Arlyna and Niria, as well as the instructors of the N2 languages training block.

Because of their late arrival, it was close to dinner by the time they finished their hellos, so the couple retreated to change from their travel clothes. The second the door closed behind them, Liara's facade crumbled and a slightly pale and trembling Liara was in Shepard's arms. Shepard said nothing; she just started releasing her armor clasps and Liara pitched in to help. Once the armor was removed and laid to the side, Samantha took Liara in and wrapped her in a tight, supportive embrace, lending confidence and strength to the anxious Asari. After a few moments, Liara took a deep breath and her grip relaxed as she murmured, "I suppose I need to let go so we can get dressed for dinner."

Shepard laughed gently, "Yeah. Something tells me they don't want me at the table in nothing but my under-armor skins."

The actual dinner was very informal, much to Shepard's relief, and relatively small. The table only had eight people; Liara and Shepard, Mozia and Aratiana, Captain Nayla Axoni visiting from the Country Estate and Captain Livos Tanni with the two additional commando team leads, Teana Seloni and Aressa T'Saptos. Conversation was casual, with the usual questions of how Liara and Shepard met, and they purposely avoided any business discussions until they were ready to retire, and then it was only to set the next day's schedule. Liara and Mozia would be spending their days in the office discussing estate plans while Shepard would spend her time with the commandos, everyone again converging for a common dinner to end each day. Everyone went their separate ways and Liara and Shepard retreated to their private suite.

Liara went to the huge closet and was starting to get undressed for bed when Shepard approached her from behind. As the Asari shrugged her gown off her shoulders and it dropped to the floor, Samantha's thumbs briefly applied pressure to Liara's sensitive lower back folds. The intimate touch caused Liara to close her eyes and draw in a sharp breath, her hands reaching forward to steady herself against the wall. The breath of her words feathered enticingly across the Asari's crests as Shepard whispered softly, "You are positively striking, Liara. How did I ever get so lucky?"

Shepard's hands slid smoothly around her lover's hips and as the heels of her hands rode up the Asari's sides, her fingertips played upward along Liara's abs until her hands cupped the swell of firm breasts. She gave them a gentle squeeze, ending in a light pinch on both nipples simultaneously, eliciting a gasp of pleasure and a surge of desire from her lover. Liara felt Shepard's body push against her from behind and her head fell back, her body arching in pleasure. Samantha took advantage of the bared neck to nuzzle into the exposed neck folds and ran her tongue through their sensitive valleys.

Shepard heard Liara swallow hard, and as the Asari opened her mouth to answer what was meant as a rhetorical question, Shepard sucked a neck ridge into her mouth and lightly gripped it with her teeth as she caressed it with her tongue, all while continuing to massage Liara's breasts and roll the hardening tips of her nipples with her thumbs. The attempt to speak was aborted and all Liara managed was a blissful moan between her increasingly ragged breaths as her heart started to race wildly in her chest.

Shepard's right hand slid smoothly back down Liara's abs, and just the idea of where it was headed proved Liara's undoing. She felt a spike of heat in her core and her knees threatened to give out with her ardent anticipation. Shepard caught her around the waist and splayed her against the wall before her, Samantha's full body contact from behind keeping Liara upright as she wantonly pleasured the Asari. Liara's needy hunger grew quickly, and gasping for breath, she finally managed to growl out two words. "Sam! Please..."

Shepard knew what her lover was begging for, and soon enough she felt the mental knock, requesting a meld. Shepard could feel Liara's powerfully desperate desire and doubted the Asari could refrain from melding in her current emotional state, even if Shepard said no. Not that she would ever deny Liara, but she steeled herself before letting her lover in, because she wanted this to be all about Liara, to ease her raw nerves and help her to _not_ _think_... even if for just a few moments. Samantha opened her mind and as Liara tried to steamroll in, she was met with a wall... a wall of Shepard's memories of all the times they had made love.

Caught completely off guard and nearly overwhelmed by the clarity of the memories, Liara peaked quickly and her whole body shuddered as she surged with release, but Shepard wasn't done with her. She continued to hold Liara in place and fed her more pictures, then added the feelings of sincere devotion, undying love and total commitment she felt toward her beautiful Blue. The physical attentions continued, unabated, and Liara came again, her second orgasm much stronger than the first, before she slumped weakly into her lover, emotionally spent. The meld dropped as the Asari panted against the wall, dazed by the intense experience. Shepard carefully wrapped her up, swept her off her feet, and carried her tenderly to the bed. Instead of laying her down, Shepard slid quietly onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard while she kept Liara on her lap and cradled in her arms.

They sat there for quite a while as Liara's breathing slowed and became too rhythmic and relaxed to be anything other than a peaceful doze. Shepard held her close, simply enjoying the warm presence of her lover in her arms, a comfortable weight relaxed against her chest. Eventually Liara woke and stirred. She picked her head up off the soft pillow of Samantha's chest and turned glassy blue eyes to loving greens, stroking Shepard's cheek with slender blue fingers in an affectionate caress. "I love you, Shepard. So very much."

Shepard smiled in return. "You feel any better?"

Liara let loose a quiet, husky chuckle, her voice thick with sleep. "I'm not sure if I honestly feel better, or if I'm just too drained to care right now." She paused for just a moment before continuing. "No. I care. Very deeply... about you, at least. But I think I can honestly say I wouldn't care if all the rest simply... went away... at least for a little while." Liara dropped her head back to Samantha's chest and wrapped her arms lovingly around her. "Thank you, love. For being here. For loving me and somehow always knowing exactly what I need."

Shepard stroked Liara's top crests soothingly as she whispered. "It's not really a matter of 'knowing' anything, but more an instinct. You were tense all day and had a lot of emotional energy that needed to be released. I did the only thing I could think of to let that emotional energy out in a positive way."

Desiring more direct contact, Liara swung her legs over and slid off of Samantha's lap before tugging on her shirt. "You, my love, are way overdressed to be in bed."

Shepard stood and started stripping. "I wasn't 'in bed.' I was just sitting on top, holding a particularly beautiful, yet exhausted, Asari in my arms while she took a little nap." Shepard beamed at her endearingly, "You know, you're very cuddly... especially when you're sleeping."

Shepard couldn't get out of her clothes fast enough as she watched Liara stretch out lazily in the bed. "Then come cuddle, Samantha." Shepard dropped the last of her clothes into a nearby chair and slid in next to her gorgeous Blue, partaking of one last, lazy, sensuous kiss before snuggling in for full body contact lasting the remainder of the night.

They slept soundly and awoke the next morning greatly refreshed, starting their new day exactly like they finished their last... with a deep, sensuous kiss. Unfortunately, they had things to do and people to see, so they couldn't linger. Before they actually left the room, Shepard drew Liara into a long, comforting embrace as she whispered a positive affirmation in her ear. "You _are_ Lady T'Soni. You grew up here. You were _born_ to this. We have a plan; all you need to do is execute it. If you need _anything_ from me, don't be afraid to take a break and come find me, no matter how trivial you feel it may be. But I'm sure you'll be fine. No. I'm sure you'll be _great_... because that's what you are."

\-------------------------------

For the next few days, Liara would spend her time with Mozia, laying out the plan she and Shepard had put together, discussing the legal points, and getting everything put into a digital record for presentation to a Matriarch Quorum for validation and recording. In the meantime, Shepard met with Captains Axoni and Tanni to go over the recommended equipment upgrades and the budget required to do them before getting a tour of their training facility. They stepped into a large central room and Shepard froze. "You have an Echo facility?"

Nayla Axoni stared at her, wondering how next Commander Shepard was going to surprise her. "You know of the Echo Game?"

"Know of it? I trained to it with an Asari instructor. This one, though... what? Is it controlled by a VI, like a training drone?"

Livos Tanni smiled. "Yes... and it has an obscene number of random patterns available, so you never know what's coming at you when you turn it on. Would you like to try it, Shepard?"

Shepard grinned like a kid in a candy store and quickly stripped down to her under-armor skins. "Hell, yeah! Gosh, I haven't done this in probably ten years. I'll need to meditate for maybe five minutes to get myself centered. I'll do that while you set it up!"

Shepard promptly grabbed a set of blinders and sat in a lotus position in the center of the mat. The outside world faded away as she gradually found her place of calm. She stood, silent and ready in the center of the drum circle. Little did she know, all but the three commandos guarding the business office had gathered to watch, and a runner went to announce this amazing spectacle to those guarding Liara and the Matriarch, as well. Being assigned as Liara's personal guard, Riana was guarding the office and daringly interrupted their business proceedings. Liara stood hastily, "Goddess! She shouldn't be doing that! She's been out of the hospital for barely a week since the fight with Sovereign...she's not supposed to do anything for at least two!"

Growling in frustration, she excused herself to go stop Shepard. Mozia was actually interested in seeing the commander attempting to Echo and quickly caught up to Liara, walking with her to the training room. By the time they got there, Shepard was already to level eighteen and going strong. Liara was angry and just as she was getting ready to break in, Mozia restrained her gently by the arm, speaking very quietly so as to not interrupt Shepard's concentration. "Liara. Don't. She is doing remarkably well, and you may cause more harm than good if you disturb her. You could _cause_ her to make a misstep, rather than prevent one."

Liara's face expressed surprise. "Goddess. You're right. Last thing she needs in the middle of a tumble or flip is distraction! Thank you, Matriarch." Liara's focus went back to Shepard, now working level twenty, and showing no signs of distress. Her N-school training and the battles while chasing Saren had honed her reflexes well past her capabilities during her early biotic training. Liara was dumbfounded. She had no idea Shepard even knew of Echo, never mind that she was able to perform at this level. Liara had trained on it almost daily as a concentration exercise and her best performance ever as a young maiden had been level seventy-two. The game maxed out at level one hundred, and Liara had only seen one commando ever complete it; her instructor, Shiala. Liara was now curious as to just how far Shepard would be able to progress.

Liara was surprised but very thankful when the game sounded an end tone after Samantha successfully completed level twenty five. At least Shepard wasn't completely insane, but Liara still had words she felt she must speak. As Shepard peeled her blinders off, the commandos started cheering and slapping their leathers. Shepard was a complete ham, flashing a huge smile and bowing to her adoring fans... until she caught Liara's annoyed stare. She immediately bolted upright and strode quickly to her lover. "Liara! What happened? What's the matter?"

Liara glared and practically hissed. "You really have no idea, do you?" Silence, along with Shepard glancing wildly about as if looking for a physical solution to the question was her answer. "Goddess, Shepard! You just got out of the hospital and aren't supposed to do anything stressful for at least two weeks! It's only been ten days!"

Shepard had the good sense to look ashamed, but still lamented, "Li, you know the docs are always overly cautious and it's not like anyone was taking shots at me... And, Nayla put it on the shortest and easiest settings it has." Shepard's enthusiasm got the better of her and excitement replaced contrition. "And man, I haven't had a chance to do that for over ten years... and last time I only completed level twelve! I really had no idea I'd complete twenty five without a problem..." Shepard suddenly remembered she was in a bit of trouble and tried to curb her enthusiasm, "but I swear to you, if something started hurting, I would have stopped right away."

"So you _have_ done this before! You obviously _looked_ like you knew what you were doing, but I didn't realize you even knew how to Echo. When did you learn?" Liara recognized what had just happened and shook her head, her concern obviously evaporated with Shepard's apparent wellbeing. A quiet growl of frustration aimed at herself escaped the Asari's throat. "Never mind, we'll talk about it later. Why is it so impossible for me to stay angry with you?" She had to work at keeping her mouth from bending into a smile.

Shepard darted forward, knowing she was to be spared Liara's wrath, wrapped her in a tight embrace and kissed her deeply, ignoring everyone in the room other than the light of her life. Liara resisted only briefly before becoming unable to deny the draw of such a passionate kiss and melted into her lover's arms. She returned the embrace whole-heartedly, one hand going to the back of Shepard's head and running her fingers through her hair, completely forgetting they were surrounded by fourteen commandos and Matriarch Mozia...until the commandos started to hoot and whoop in encouragement. Liara instantly broke off, a dark blush suffusing her face. "By the Goddess! You make me forget myself!" She turned to Mozia in embarrassment. "I am so sorry, Matriarch! I don't..." Liara's apology faded out with Mozia's wide smile and waving hand.

"Don't worry about it, Liara." Mozia laughed and glanced at Shepard who, judging by the grin on her face, was not nearly as penitent as Liara. "I'd forget the world, too, if I was being kissed like that. Shepard. You are quite intriguing. I'd like to get to know a bit more about you. Can you join us for lunch?"

A still grinning Shepard touched her right-hand finger tips to her forehead before she lowered her hand out flat, palm up, in a show of respect, once again surprising the matriarch. "It would be my honor, Matriarch. I will see you for the noon meal."

\-------------------------------

Immediately following lunch, Axoni and Tanni briefed Shepard on latest intelligence acquired while Shepard and Liara traveled. They had narrowed down the threat to a half-sister, Matron Rylis Iressi. Benezia was her father, but since Asari inheritance flowed through the mother's side, Rylis had no rightful claim on the estate unless Benezia had either named her in a will, which she had not, or had no birth daughter, which she did... Liara. Rylis was from a lesser house, she was over 600 yrs old and looking at her upcoming matriarch years with no standing or status. Apparently, this had made her criminally desperate. Now the senior House T'Soni Captain, Axoni had coordinated with the Armali police and it was to be a joint raid on the Iressi compound early the next morning. She was hesitant to let Shepard come along, knowing now that she had recently gotten out of the hospital, but Shepard promised she just wanted to observe the commandos in action, and she would only jump in under dire circumstances. Shepard's only request was that Judea guard Liara for the day; she wanted to see Riana Iregos in action. Captain Axoni grinned, knowing Shepard wanted to evaluate Liara's personal guard; she would have done the same thing and quickly added Riana to the roster.

Axoni was bringing Team 1 from the Country Estate, led by Lyria Tremi, and Livos Tanni took her team from Armali. They wanted two teams for the attack, but wanted two Armali Teams to stay back and provide townhome security for Liara and Matriarch Mozia while they were gone. Shepard approved of the plan, as it would also allow her to see if there were any significant differences between the training or performance of House Armali and the T'Soni Estate commandos. That night, Shepard and the commandos begged off the after-dinner social time and turned in early, claiming an early morning field exercise. Once Shepard swore she was merely going as an observer, Liara willingly approved, not sensing any deception and pleased that Shepard was really getting to know the commandos and participating with them to the fullest in their standard training regimen.

They both groaned when Shepard's omnitool rang at 4AM. Samantha rolled and gave Liara a gentle kiss on the cheek, promised to be careful and said she'd try to be back in time for lunch. Liara cast her a sleepy smile and admonished her to remember her promise to only observe, before quickly returning to her slumber.

\-------------------------------

The Armali police strike force was impressive. They came with fifteen personnel, primarily armed with stun guns and biotic suppressors, and their deployment was quick and professional. Shepard discovered they were the gang response force, used to deal with merc gangs engaged in various criminal activities on the outskirts of the major cities. Add in Captains Axoni and Tanni, their two commando squads, Riana and Shepard, and their total force was thirty strong. Two infiltrators went in first, just before dawn, to disable all the vehicles, so if anyone tried to get away, it would have to be on foot. Given the compound's distance from Armali, they wouldn't pose any immediate threat and could be easily rounded up after the main raid. When the time came, the infiltrators also disabled the two guards in the garage and secured the garage exit with the assistance of the team's two snipers.

Ground penetrating imagery had shown a single tunnel leaving the house that came up in a small wooded area off to the east, so the strike force dispatched four officers with the containment vehicle in the event anyone attempted to use it to leave the premises. That left twenty one Asari to handle three entrances to the home; they quickly divided into three groups of seven, with Axoni, Tremi and Tanni each taking a separate group. Since it was the team Riana had initially been assigned to before becoming Liara's First, she was part of Tanni's group going in the side kitchen door, and Shepard tagged along with them so she could observe Riana while still keeping track of overall mission progress. Riana knew very well why Shepard decided to shadow the same team that she was assigned to. She had been hand-picked by the Armali guard captain to become the new Lady T'Soni's personal guard, and there was no doubt in Riana's mind that the commander was there to make sure she was capable. Riana knew she was up to the task, so didn't care if Shepard was watching her. Being Liara's 'First' was a tremendous honor, and Riana was going to make damn sure she kept the position for a very long time.

At exactly 6 AM, sedation darts launched, three exterior door guards dropped, and less than fifteen seconds later the three groups moved in and entered the facility through separate doors at the same time. Strike force officers paused only briefly to place biotic suppression cuffs on each of the Iressi personnel as they were taken down. According to the information they gathered, they expected a very small household staff of only three, augmented by a dozen commandos along with Matron Rylis. With five commandos down, that left only seven more, plus Rylis and the three staff. The house cook was already up and working in the kitchen and her quick reaction was the first bump in the plan. As soon as the side kitchen door was breeched, she screamed and set off an alarm, alerting the entire household to the intruders. She was quickly silenced and the kitchen and basement entrances were quickly secured, but it was too late; the damage had been done.

A thermal scan indicated two personnel in the basement, so Riana dropped two flash-bangs down the stairs, the second with a three second delay. As the second one flashed, Riana, a second commando and one of the officers flew down the steps to dart and cuff both Asari, meeting with no resistance... it's hard to fight back when you can't see or hear. The dining room became the collection point and the five outside guards were quickly secured to chairs at the table, soon to be joined by the cook and the two from the basement. Two commandos and two officers stayed to guard the group while Riana made sure she was selected to accompany Tanni and one of the strike force officers as they joined the front door team led by Tremi. Shepard was very pleased with Riana's initiative and contentedly followed the group up the stairs to the main living quarters to find Matron Iressi, the Steward and the housekeeper. The whole attack was more difficult now because once the alarm was sounded the defenders had activated their shields and barriers. That meant Shepard's team was forced to use potentially lethal weapons until the protections dropped and the enemy could be darted. It was a delicate balance as the fight went on to take them alive without accidentally killing anyone, especially since the Iressi household had no such reservations.

Captain Axoni's group had the toughest challenge, coming in the back door, because that was closest to the commando living quarters. They ended up facing an organized resistance squad consisting of the last five standing commandos. Axoni got help from the four who secured the garage, so while it was eleven against five, they were still extremely limited in mobility by the confines of a narrow hallway. Two commandos went down before the first two Iressi guards were yanked up the hall with biotic pulls to where they could be darted and subdued. One of the huntresses from House Armali risked herself to pull her two compatriots out of harm's way and then stopped to provide them medical treatment. That still left eight against three, and when an angry Captain Axoni made an offer they couldn't refuse... of surrender or be introduced to multiple grenades... their weapons slid out into the hallway and they backed out down the hallway, one at a time, their hands on their heads. Once in the dining room, they were also sedated and cuffed. The strike force lead called in her four officers out at the end of the tunnel, along with the prisoner transport, and once it arrived the available officers started moving all the Iressi house commandos into the ship.

Meanwhile, things upstairs had not gone smoothly either. It was quickly obvious that Rylis was steadfast in her ambition and had no intention of surrendering peacefully, and the two staff by her side were not just a steward and a housekeeper, but also very highly trained commandos. Rylis and the steward quickly proved themselves more dangerous than any of the commandos the T'Soni team had already faced. Their barriers were exceptionally strong and, of the eleven people who had gone up the stairs against them, one had already been severely injured by a powerful warp and three others were taken out of the fight by weapons fire. The Iressi trio's barriers finally flickered when Shepard got frustrated and lobbed a series of concussion grenades into the end of the hallway. Unfortunately, that got the personal attention of Rylis and before Shepard realized what was happening, she found herself flat on her back staring up at Riana, who had inexplicably bolted across the hall and tackled her. Shepard's initial reaction was anger at the huntress, until the corner where the commander had been standing mere milliseconds before exploded violently, raining debris down on them after a massive biotic flare shattered the wall. She looked at Riana with a new respect and as the huntress gave her a hand up, Shepard hung on for a moment, just long enough to gain her attention. "Thanks, Riana. Having ducked back around the corner, I never saw that coming. I owe you one."

Riana shook her head. "No, Commander, you don't. I am Lady T'Soni's First. All that she is and all that is hers is mine to protect. What hurts you would hurt her, and I cannot let that happen." With a quick nod, Riana turned and rejoined the battle.

That was the beginning of the end for House Iressi. Livos Tanni dared not let anything befall the commander, or she knew their days as commandos serving House T'Soni would be over. She growled at Tremi, "That was too close! Take them down, damn it!"

Two more concussion grenades and a flash-bang rolled up the hall and a burst of weapons fire immediately followed the explosions. When the smoke cleared, the housekeeper was out and the steward was down on one knee. A strike force officer quickly fired darts and took the two wounded completely out of the picture. Still shielded, Rylis bared her teeth and collected a huge ball of power into her hands. Riana realized Rylis was readying herself to do it again and shouted "Flare!" a fraction of a second before she risked everything, pulled a biotic charge, and vaulted herself forward to literally bounce Rylis off a wall, stunning her and dispelling all the biotic energy she had harnessed before the matron had a chance to unleash it against them. An officer quickly followed and slapped a pair of suppression cuffs on her wrists before she recovered her senses.

Shepard was initially surprised; she had never seen a commando use a biotic charge in battle, but quickly recognized that Arlyna was the one who had taught her how to do it, so obviously Asari knew how. She grinned for the briefest moment when a flashback took her to the time of her Vanguard selection evaluation and the simulator pirate captain; Riana was very much like her younger self, right down to being willing to take an 'all or nothing' approach to solve a difficult problem. That was the exact moment Shepard realized there would be no better commando on the staff to be Liara's personal guard. She refocused on the task at hand when the Asari laying cuffed on the floor climbed to her feet still wanting to fight, forcing Riana and the strike force officer to physically restrain her between them. Shepard walked up and stared at her. "I am Spectre Shepard, and by the rights vested in me by the Citadel Council, I order the Armali Police Department to take you and your entire house into custody for conspiracy to take the life of Lady Liara T'Soni, all in an attempt to gain unlawful access to the inheritance left her by the now deceased Lady Benezia T'Soni."

Matron Rylis Iressi was fuming and spit her words at Shepard, "She's a pureblood _ardat_ who doesn't deserve a penny! She ran away from the great Lady Benezia and from Thessia, only to return for the money!" The hysterical Rylis sneered, "Why the hell does the Council or a Council Spectre even care about a single inbred maiden on the Asari homeworld, anyway?"

Shepard was livid, her rage barely contained. "You are so centered on yourself, you really have no idea what's going on out in the galaxy do you? Dr Liara T'Soni is the leading galactic expert on the Protheans and a valuable member of the Spectre team that just saved the Citadel and every member of the Council from a rogue Spectre and a Reaper! She also just happens to be my future bondmate!"

Surprisingly, talk of rogue Spectres and Reapers had little effect, but the Spectre's last statement, brash and unexpected, almost stopped everyone in their tracks. They had all assumed Shepard was just the first of the maiden's expected many lovers. Having been just recently introduced, they knew little of Spectre Shepard other than her reputation and even less about her relationship with the Lady T'Soni, but the reality of their current situation kept anyone from considering the implications in any depth, as silencing the Matron Iressi's incessant ratings once again consumed their thoughts. An officer finally sedated her, shaking her head and mumbling, "Tides, Rylis! You never did know when to shut the hell up!" They then hauled her and her two compatriots downstairs and put them in the transport with the rest of the miscreants.

Shepard didn't move. She stood with her fists clenched staring blankly down the hallway, trying to rein in her seething anger. One glance at her expression and no one dared go near her; the commandos retreated down the stairs with their wounded and told Captain Axoni what had transpired. Over the last couple of days, Nayla had developed a decent relationship with the commander and slowly approached. As she got close, she spoke quietly. " _Nara_. Do not let the ravings of a lunatic bother you. Her hurtful words are not one of the burdens you need to bear." She continued as the Spectre unclenched her fists and turned to face her. "The strike team has left, taking all of House Iressi with them. We too are ready to go, to return to House T'Soni knowing our lady is safe once more."

Shepard's anger gradually turned to sadness; the pain evident in her face. "Liara spoke only once of being a pureblood. She thinks perhaps her father is not in her life because she was ashamed of her. It must be a horrible burden for a young maiden to bear, to think a parent is embarrassed solely by the fact that you even exist. I realize there is nothing I can do to help her...it is not a burden I can share. But I am still very glad she was not here for that outburst." Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and rolled her head around, stretching her neck. She opened her eyes and clapped Nayla on the shoulder. "Let's go home, Captain, and take care of our wounded."

\-------------------------------

Overall, Shepard was very pleased with the day's events; Captains Axoni and Tanni, along with all their commandos, performed magnificently under difficult circumstances, coming out of the day with no casualties on either side, and Riana was superb. She was intelligent, quick, a great shot, possessed great situational awareness and of all things, a type of Asari Vanguard! Shepard realized Liara would be as safe as she possibly could be, under Riana's protection. That night, when they were alone in their room getting ready for dinner, Liara asked how the training exercise went and Shepard finally told her the whole _real_ story.

Initially, Liara was furious. "Shepard! What were you thinking? How could you not tell me you had identified the threat... and were going after her?" Liara paced, her hands clenched into angry fists, wisps of blue trailing behind as she stalked back and forth on the floor. "I can't believe you kept that from me!" She stopped and stared at the Spectre, who met her only with a calm gaze. No denials, no words of protest.

Liara continued on her path, her hands alternating between waving at imaginary points and rubbing her forehead. "I trusted you! I trusted you to keep me safe!"

Liara suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. "What am I saying? You didn't violate _that_ trust. You _did_ keep me safe." Again she glanced at Shepard, who hadn't changed her expression nor her demeanor. "I just wish you had told me about it!" She resumed her pacing, slower now, and not quite so angry. Her hands no longer trailed blue.

"But you went out on a _mission_ and I had no idea... you _lied_ to me and said it was a field exercise! You just left me here, working with the matriarch, completely oblivious to the danger... to _your_ danger. And you aren't even supposed to be doing anything yet!" The glare got angry again and shifted back to the commander.

"I _didn't_ do anything! I really did just observe..." Shepard shrugged apologetically. "Well, I did lob a couple grenades, there, towards the end. I got frustrated, not being able to help... and their pointless resistance made me miss lunch with you. By the time we got back, you were back to work."

"That's not the point, Shepard." Liara stared intently at the commander. "Don't ever lie to me again, even if it does seem the right thing to do. We can do without a lot of things in our relationship, but complete trust isn't one of them."

Shepard's heart thudded heavily in her chest and she glanced down to the floor before hesitantly raising her eyes back to Liara's. "You're right. We have to be able to trust one another, and I violated that trust. I'm so sorry." Her face had paled significantly and her hands were held open, palms up in supplication and anxiousness. "Forgive me?" The stalwart commander who faced down a Reaper was worried, and her feet shifted nervously as she awaited Liara's judgment.

Liara rolled her eyes and huffed as she resumed her slow walk and somewhat ignored the entreaty for clemency. "I understand you meant well, but what is that Human saying? The one about the road to hell?"

Shepard groaned, immediately knowing where Liara was headed. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Shepard closed her eyes and her shoulders sagged, wishing Liara wasn't such a dedicated scholar. She had worked hard at learning Human idioms and could fight Shepard on her home turf. She shook her head, admitting defeat. "You're right. I'm sorry, Blue. I'll never do it again. A lie is still a lie, no matter the intent."

"Thank you, Shepard. Apology accepted." Liara had every reason to look smug, but her face remained contemplative. "But I did work, and got a lot done. Had I known what you were doing, we wouldn't have gotten anything done today. I would have paced, been worried sick about you, or demanded to be by your side, just knowing you wouldn't keep your promise to stay out of harm's way... but you did keep your promise. And I would have been wrong." When that word came out of her own mouth, she stopped short and shook her head before looking at Shepard again. "Goddess. I would have been _wrong_! You did your job so I could do mine. Just like you going on missions while I stayed on the ship to do Prothean or Conduit research. Goddess, I'm almost as bad as you. I can be so... obstinate... sometimes."

Liara stopped her pacing completely, her hands relaxed, she stretched her fingers, and she gestured at Shepard. "And you. You knew. In all my days, my logic and my instincts have never been in such conflict as they have been since I met you." Liara got a gentle smile on her face. "And you... just stand there, letting me rant and rave, taking it all in while being incredibly reticent, not saying a word."

Shepard chuckled quietly, an engaging twinkle in her eyes as she looked upon her love. "I know better. I couldn't have said anything that would have convinced you. Not after the fact, and especially when I was obviously at fault. And I know you've always faced your own dangers head-on, because you always had to. You didn't have me to share the load with, and learning to trust and share can be extremely difficult for strong willed people. Believe me, I know. Humans have another saying... 'old habits die hard.' It's been around a long time, but it is oh. so. true." Even for Liara, that adage required no explanation.

Liara had a light smile on her face, so Shepard knew she was forgiven. "Even though I know you did it to protect me from myself, we still need to be completely honest with one another, Shepard. But you're right...it _is_ hard for me to let go of control sometimes. Especially here on Thessia. My home." She paused briefly. "But while I may not be willing to forego honesty in our relationship, I know one thing we _can_ do without ... Rylis Iressi." Liara shook her head and then planted a light kiss on Shepard's warm lips. "Let's go eat dinner."

Shepard smirked as one last thought of Matron Rylis Iressi crossed her mind.

_Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 credits. Go. Directly. To. Jail._


	26. Nights of Sweet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This occurs between First Life and Only Hope Remains. As I reread my earlier story for continuity purposes, in OHR Shepard and Liara started referring to each other as bondmates... yet they never even talked about it... Oops! To those who have read the first chapter of OHR... we all know how their last night on Thessia ends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grá mo chroí - love of my heart (Gaelic)  
> nara - literally "bearer"; one who shoulders another's burden, aids others (Thessian)  
> siame - "one who is all", a loved one cherished above all others (Thessian)  
> Tugaim mo chroí duit go deo - I give my heart to you forever (Gaelic)

While Liara finished up the estate plans and went with Mozia to downtown Armali to have them recorded by a Matriarch Quorum, Shepard cornered an unsuspecting Nayla Axoni. "Nayla... I need some help."

The guard captain immediately responded. "Absolutely, _Nara_. What can I do for you?"

"I need you to take me to a reputable jeweler... and I need you to tell me about Asari bonding rituals." Shepard's face turned red as Nayla stared at her in amazement, not quite sure how to respond.

"I...uh... I'm honored, Commander, but I don't think I'm really the person to ask for... that. I'm nearly four hundred... yet... What do you _not_ see on my wrists?" Nayla held out both arms in a demonstration of their emptiness, a look bordering on panic evident on the normally courageous guard captain's face.

"Oh, come on, Nayla! We'll both learn together, then. It's just not something I can do with the troops. If not you, then who?" Shepard looked at her, waiting for an answer.

Nayla dropped her head in defeat, having no suggestions for someone to take her place. "Fine. You're right. That's not something you can ask of a subordinate... yet, I too technically fall in that category."

"Yeah, well, right now, you're the closest thing I've got to a friend here. I suppose I could take Judea or Riana, but they're both with Liara at the Quorum. So it's you or nobody."

Nayla shook her head and laughed, relieving a bit of the tension. "Shepard. That is truly a sad state of affairs. You need more friends."

Nayla and the store clerk were more help than the commander could have imagined, and Shepard soon had an idea fixed in her head and two proposal bracelets tucked in her pocket. Now she just had to figure out how to keep it a secret from the most important person in her life until she had the opportunity to actually do it.

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When they finished their business in Armali and relocated to the country estate, it was love at first sight. Shepard cherished the serenity and openness surrounding it. It didn't have the attractions of the big city, but the home itself was constructed of wood and stone and had a more traditional feel, which Shepard loved. It was much larger than the townhome, would be able to easily accommodate multiple guests, and had stunning vistas off the numerous verandas and balconies about the house. It was mostly surrounded by beautiful pastoral gardens, but the eastern side faced the ocean, with inviting white sand beaches that stretched as far as the eye could see. It was everything that space... wasn't.

The whole atmosphere was more relaxed, and since Liara had spent most of her time here growing up, they experienced none of the awkward introductions they had endured in Armali. It also helped that Shepard had now worked with one of the commando teams, so not only did she know some of them, but she was sure tales of their exploits in Armali had already been told many times over before they arrived. There was no business to be conducted, either; it was three days of pure vacation time other than Shepard getting to know the staff, and she planned on letting that occur naturally over the three days. The first day, Liara showed her everything around the estate and when they walked the gardens Shepard paid very close attention to Liara's stories. The Asari's favorite memories surrounded a huge tree in one of the rear gardens, where her mother would meet her when they both got home from school and work. They had little private time together, and meeting on the bench under that tree became something of a ritual. It also saddened Liara, because she also remembered how those times disappeared over time as she grew older and started to express desires other than following in her mother's political footsteps.

The spot that really intrigued Shepard, however, was a secluded private side garden with a small fountain in the center. It was a quiet place where Liara had liked to sneak off to just be alone, when she needed to escape the pressures of being a matriarch's daughter. Off to one side was a hidden nook with a large trellis, completely covered in Thessian roses. It was perfect. The tour took the whole morning, so it wasn't until after lunch that Shepard was able to get some private time, telling Liara she was going to take a short walk and call her mom. Liara just smiled and told her to come find her in the Library when she was finished. Shepard grinned and kissed her on the cheek before stepping outside. She simply walked around the house and reentered through one of the side porches, circling back around to the Steward's office. She knocked lightly and stuck her head inside the open doorway. "Matron Lyessa? Do you have a few moments?"

The Steward gave her a warm smile and stood in welcome. "Certainly, Commander. Please, come in. What can I do for you?"

"I realize you've just met me, and this may seem awfully sudden..." Shepard stopped and adjusted her posture to a more formal approach. "I apologize. I'm not really sure how Asari tradition works, especially since Liara has no parents, but I plan on asking Liara to be my bondmate and I'm not sure how to proceed."

The matron nodded. "Yes, I heard stories of your, shall we say, inadvertent disclosure of your plans in the heat of the moment." Her smile disappeared. "But Liara is very young, and I did not believe the proposal was imminent. You certainly do not need my permission to do so, Commander, but I do have a few questions for you."

Shepard was just here to ask her for help in getting Liara to the desired location, so was somewhat surprised by the matron's change of demeanor. She saluted the matron and bowed her head in deference before continuing. "Most certainly, Matron. I will try to answer whatever you ask of me."

Lyessa's eyes narrowed as she started in, asking more than 'a few' questions, from generic 'how long she had known Liara' questions to some of a much more personal nature, like about how frequent and deep their melds had been. She seemed satisfied both with the answers and with the commander's openness to the queries, finally saying she had only one last question. "Do you desire children, Shepard?"

Shepard blushed slightly, but didn't shy away from answering. "That's a very personal question, Lyessa, with many facets, which even Liara and I have not spoken of in any depth. The shortest and probably most truthful answer is yes, I desire them. But I know that Liara is too young to be able to get pregnant, and given the human lifespan... well. Let's just say I realize it's not a realistic option for us. Not if I want to be around to see them grow. But on the flipside, if Liara wants children by me, and she becomes ready before I pass, I would not deny her the opportunity to map my DNA." Shepard looked directly at the Matron and didn't give an inch as she made her next statement. "I love Liara more than anything in the galaxy, and if you are asking if I would leave her for another, or cheat on her, just to have children? Not gonna happen. Liara is my heart and soul."

Lyessa's eyes softened. "A most complete and honest answer, Commander. I really expected nothing less, but I am happy to not be disappointed in your response. It shows me you've truly considered the implications of your relationship." She nodded in approval. "So, what did you need from me?"

Shepard smiled. "Liara showed me a lovely secluded garden today..." Shepard described the location, and Lyessa knew exactly where she was thinking and agreed to the commander's simple requests. As Shepard left the office, the matron smiled gently. "Good luck, Commander. I'll make sure everything is set up for you."

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, Shepard and Liara worked out with the commandos, followed by a swim at the shore. They even enjoyed some private time in the shower as they were preparing to join the household for the communal evening meal. Afterward, they helped clean up and were preparing to sit down to a glass of after-dinner wine when Shepard stood up. "Oh crap. Hey, Li... I just remembered something I forgot to ask my mom... I need to call her again. I'll be back in a few."

Before Liara could protest or offer to join her, Shepard disappeared upstairs. After a while, Liara started to get worried; it seemed Samantha had been gone an awfully long time, and she began to hope nothing was wrong with Hannah. Lyessa smiled at the young maiden. "Quit fidgeting, Liara. I'm sure everything's fine." She stood and offered a hand. "Come, let's walk the grounds and see where her call has taken her."

Lyessa took Liara's arm and they wandered the gardens, chatting. All the while, Lyessa was slowly winding them on an indirect path to a particular secluded garden. Liara heard the voices, but thought nothing of them until they walked around the last hedgerow corner. Liara stopped in wonderment. The garden was lit gently with glow globes, a few small tables were set up with chairs, and a small buffet table sat off to the side with various wines and snacks. All the commandos were there, and Liara tried to apologize for interrupting their little party. They laughed and told her she was more than welcome to join them. She smiled, but replied to the negative. "I'd love to, really, but I seem to have lost the commander. We were actually on the hunt for her... that's how we stumbled upon you."

Much to her surprise, Shepard stepped out from behind some hedges with a huge smile on her face. "But I'm already here, Liara. I've been waiting for you to get here. You're usually more prompt than this."

Lyessa dropped her arm and stepped away, Liara caught temporarily speechless. Shepard was gorgeous. She was in black dress pants with a matching vest, a very familiar looking emerald shirt, and a Thessian Blue Rose boutonnière pinned to her left lapel. She seemed to float through the garden as she approached Liara, her gait smooth and sure, not stopping until she stood directly in front of the Asari and placed a tender kiss on her quivering blue lips.

Liara was nervous, absolutely positive something was going on that she should have known about or at least guessed. She glanced around, trying to find some hint, think of some clue she missed along the way that would tell her what was happening. Shepard ended her quest for answers and started to speak. "Liara, I've known since the first time I saw you, you were something special. When you pulled me out of that raging volcano you did more than save my life, you resurrected my heart. When I actually looked into your eyes that first time on the Normandy, I saw my future. Everything about you makes me want to be a better person, to rise to the challenge to never disappoint you. I have been privileged to watch you grow from an unproven, solitary researcher almost literally buried in a remote ruin, into a Citadel Council champion and leader of one of the great and honorable houses of Thessia."

Shepard clasped Liara's hands gently and went down to one knee in front of her, looking up at her adoringly as she continued speaking. "You are my _siame_ , cherished above all others, the _grá mo chroí,_ the love of my heart. Liara... _Tugaim mo chroí duit go deo._ I give my heart to you forever."

Shepard released Liara's hands to pull out a flat box that was tucked in the hollow of her back under her vest. As soon as Samantha let them go, Liara's hands started to tremble as she shakily brought them up to cover her mouth. Liara was pretty sure now what was coming and tears of joy started to creep slowly down her face. Shepard opened the box and held it up for the Asari to see, looking adoringly up into eyes shining with tears. "As the Tides have been for centuries, the Tides shall always be. As the tide of our Love has grown, the tide of our Love shall always be strong, forever lapping at the universe's shores of Eternity." Shepard swallowed hard, finally nervous and praying she got the last two lines correct. "Lady Liara T'Soni, I give you my heart, my mind, and my soul, so that we two may become one. Will you join me in Eternity, so our hearts shall beat as one, our love shall ride the waves to the ends of the Thessian seas, and our souls shall rise amongst the stars until our essential essence returns to the universe?"

Shepard started to wonder what was going through Liara's head as the silence started to stretch out, getting more nervous by the second. _By the Gods._ _Should I have done it in Galactic Standard? Perhaps she feels she's too young to bond... I should have asked her in private!_

Suddenly, Liara glanced back at the steward, quietly pleading. "Goddess! Lyessa, help me! I can't remember the formal reply!"

Lyessa was pleased; Shepard had delivered the proposal perfectly, and she beamed happily at the anxious maiden as she whispered... "Relax, Liara. You'll do fine, just echo Shepard! ... As the Tides have been ..."

Liara's eyes flew wide and her head snapped back to focus on the love of her life, still kneeling before her and now looking as nervous as she felt. She started hesitantly, growing in confidence as the words started to flow. "As the Tides have been for centuries, the Tides shall always be. As the tide of our Love has grown, the tide of our Love shall always be strong, forever lapping at the universe's shores of Eternity." She sighed in relief and grasped Shepard's hand, pulling her up to stand before her as an equal, no longer a petitioner. "Lieutenant Commander Samantha Hannah Shepard, I give you my heart, my mind, and my soul, so that we two may become one. I will join you in Eternity, so our hearts shall beat as one, our love shall ride the waves to the ends of the Thessian seas, and our souls shall rise amongst the stars until our essential essence returns to the universe."

They then spoke together as they placed the promise bracelets on each other's wrists, "We rise with the sun and set with the moon. Forever to honor, forever to love, as one, unto Eternity."

As the last words faded on the couple's lips, the commandos all cheered and raised their hands, full of power, until a bright, unified barrier covered the garden in full. As Shepard looked around in surprise, Liara laughed gleefully. "Just kiss me, Samantha, and it will all go away."

Shepard willingly complied, and the moment their lips touched, the revelers let their power fade and they started pouring the wine. Liara was absolutely astounded by Shepard's formal Asari bonding proposal. She never expected such a thing and had no idea that Shepard was even considering it. She blushed as she confessed to Shepard. "I'm so sorry, Samantha... for the delay in my response. Your formal proposal caught me completely by surprise and for the life of me the words wouldn't come to me. I couldn't remember what I was supposed to say! I am thankful Lyessa was still standing behind me! That could have been somewhat embarrassing."

Shepard grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck before responding. "You think _you_ would have been embarrassed... As it was, your hesitation had me wondering if I totally screwed it up, or if I had somehow missed some cultural thing that prevented you from accepting." She laughed nervously and shook her head. "I was debating with myself as to whether I should have asked you in private first, or if I was going to have to stand up and apologize for some unknown slight I may have made upon you or House T'Soni!"

Liara chuckled and leaned her forehead against Shepard's, eyes closed as she breathed her words, "No, Samantha. You were perfect...and I call myself a researcher. I had absolutely no clue what was coming. But I must admit it is a most welcome surprise. I love you... _Siame_."

Shepard slipped her arms around Liara and held her close. "That's what happens when you always study the past and don't look to the future. You don't see the Human standing in your path waiting for the opportunity to catch you."

Liara grinned and her eyes glittered mischievously. "I think you should probably be glad. I can be very focused. Had I seen you, I may have dodged...thinking I had no time for you beside my studies."

Samantha separated their foreheads and laughed. "Oh! Aren't you the cheeky one? I'm pretty fast, T'Soni. I don't think you would have escaped me. Come on. Let's get some wine."

\-------------------------------

They were perched on a chair off to the side, Liara sitting on Shepard's lap. Shepard had one arm wrapped around the Asari's waist and Liara's arm was resting on top of it, hand upon hand, fingers laced together. Both of their free hands held glasses of wine as they chatted casually with anyone and everyone who swung by. The celebration lasted a couple of hours, the couple receiving congratulations and wishes for a happy and fulfilling future from everyone. Suddenly a huge yawn escaped Liara and she sighed happily, looking at her lover. "I think it's time I turn in, Shepard. The excitement and the wine have done me in."

Samantha gave her a tender smile. "More than happy to join you, my love." They stood, said their good nights and headed off together toward their room. After they stripped and slid under the covers, Liara's eyes closed quickly, but Shepard was restless. She propped herself up on an elbow and gazed lovingly at the blue figure beside her. Liara was on her side, facing Sam, breathing evenly and completely relaxed, right on the edge of sleep. Shepard couldn't help but admire her beauty, especially when she was so tranquil, her face a picture of serenity. Unable to stop herself, Shepard's fingertips started out to softly trace every elegant feature on Liara's face. She began across the top of the forehead, right at the origin of her top crests, and completed the semi-circle by coming down the front edge of the ear channel and continuing down the jaw to Liara's perfectly rounded chin. From there, she traced a brow marking with a single finger tip, circled around the eye and feathered across the field of freckles along the top ridge of her cheek bone. She cupped Liara's face in her palm and tenderly stroked a cheek with her thumb, relishing the soft, pebbly skin. The texture of the Asari's skin reminded Shepard of supple, expensive leather.

Liara sighed contentedly and rolled flat onto her back, her eyes creeping open as she carried a sleepy smile on her face. She whispered, "That feels very nice, Sam, but it's not very conducive to sleep."

Anything else she was planning to say was cut off as Shepard leaned forward and captured a pair of blue lips with her own, the hand that was cupping her cheek slid back to caress the folds on the back of the Asari's neck. A light tremor passed through Liara's body as she whimpered into Sam's soft lips, opening her mouth and inviting Samantha to deepen the kiss. Her arms snaked around Shepard's waist and pulled her on top like a blanket. She raised one knee and made space for a leg to slip in, encouraging a muscular thigh into a position to pacify the throbbing pulse she felt start in her core. She was tipsy and tired, but couldn't deny the physical contact was extremely... gratifying. She opened her mind for a light meld, and Shepard sensed both her pleasure and her weariness. Sam pulled back without a second thought, causing Liara to protest quietly, "Samantha? I didn't mean for you to stop."

Shepard smiled at her lover. "It's alright. You're tired, love, and I can tell you really want to sleep. I'm content to just hold you."

"Fine, but now I'm not just tired...you... woke something. So this..." Liara smiled bashfully as she pulled Shepard back to her, trapping a strong thigh back between her legs. "...is staying here." Another light tremor passed through the Asari as she sighed quietly in pleasure with the renewed contact.

Shepard's eyes shot wide open. "Oh!" She pulled Liara close and whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry, Blue. I didn't mean to tease. Is it enough, or do you need me to finish what I started?"

Liara hummed in satisfaction, her voice dragging with sleep. "I'm fine, love. I don't have the energy to do anything, but this is nice. I am content."

They dreamed sweet dreams, wrapped together tightly in a comforting embrace until the morning sun rising over Thessia woke them from their restful slumber. Shepard woke first, stirring as the welcoming rays splashed across her face through the large windows to the east. Being a spacer, it didn't really matter one way or another to her, but the Thessian solar patterns were very easy to adapt to for Humans, as they were nearly the same as on Earth. The sun came up in the East and set in the West, and the days were the equivalent of roughly twenty seven and a half hours, so the days were just a smidge longer, but the years a little shorter. The gravity and air pressure were also very close, so acclimatizing was very quick and easy. Shepard extricated herself from the tangle of limbs and stretched in the dappled rays working their way through the sheer curtains fluttering in the light ocean breeze. She glanced at Liara, who was also starting to stir, and thought how nice it would be to wake up to such things every day the rest of her life. She leaned over carefully and planted a soft kiss on Liara's cheek.

Blue eyes fluttered open as a smile lit her face. "Mmmmm. Good morning, love. Sleep well?"

Shepard smiled in return. "You bet I did... but waking up next to you was the best part of all."

Liara blushed and swatted at her playfully, "Flatterer."

Laughing with the joy of a new day, Shepard caught her wrists, flipped Liara flat on her back, and sat astraddle her hips with her hands pinned to the bed next to her head. Liara's smile faded as she looked up at her lover and she was seized by desire. Shepard's auburn hair was ablaze in the morning sun and her smiling green eyes teemed with more life than the Thessian seas could possibly hold. Liara's whole body trembled, and she whispered, " _Siame_. I want you to take me. I want to give myself to you completely...to feel your power like I have never wanted to feel anything else before in my life." She hesitated for a moment as if wondering how her next words would taste on her tongue. "My... promised one."

Shepard's own playful laughter that had started with the impromptu wrestling match died on her lips as the words Liara had spoken sunk in. It wasn't a dream. She asked and Liara had promised herself to her. She had said _yes_ to the equivalent of an engagement. Samantha's eyes lit with a new fire as she willingly acquiesced to Liara's demand. Starting slowly, Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara gently on the lips, leaving much too quickly and leaving Liara begging for more. She then trailed her lips lightly up Liara's jaw to the base of her ear before nuzzling into the folds on her neck and taking in the scent of eezo and Thessian rose. She released the captive wrists and her hands and lips started to wander; massaging, stroking and teasing Liara right to the edge of the abyss before changing up her location or her pace and starting again... and again, repeatedly denying that final glory. Liara was a panting, shuddering mess, twisting the bed sheets in her fists as Shepard drove her to the ends of her endurance. By the time Samantha finally fulfilled her lover's burning desires, Liara was possessed by a frantic need to meld; her eyes black as night, she didn't hesitate in the slightest once Samantha gave her the go ahead. She plunged into Sam's mind with wild, unrestrained desperation and all of the gratifying final pleasure that Liara had been denied time and again over the course of the morning blazed forward and consumed them in its intensity. Liara plunged off the precipice and cried out her lover's name as waves of blissful ecstasy emanating off the Asari pulled Samantha right along with her. The passion would not relinquish its grip and the two climaxed powerfully together, their hearts hammering as one as aftershocks of pleasure repeatedly rolled over the pair for what seemed an eternity. The intensity of the end result left them both gasping for breath, breasts heaving and sweat dripping off their bodies as they lied crumpled together amidst tangled sheets. They both fell into an exhausted sleep.

They woke together sometime later and Liara rolled over and snuggled into Shepard, buried her face in the crook of Samantha's neck and hugged her tightly, taking in a deep breath of comforting leather and musk. When Shepard felt dampness on her neck, she hugged the Asari close and questioned softly, "Liara? You ok? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Liara could hear the strained concern in Samantha's voice, so pushed herself away so her bondmate could see her face as she answered. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she smiled in response. "Goddess, no. You could never hurt me, Samantha. That was just much more than I ever expected." She let out a light laugh. "Remind me of this if I ever offer to give you full reign over me again. You can be a tad bit overwhelming... holding off the meld that long was almost torturous."

Shepard felt horribly guilty, whether Lira had a smile on her face or not. "By the Gods, Liara. I pushed you too hard. Too fast. I'm so sorry."

Liara shook her head vehemently. "No. Please don't apologize for that, because the end result was a positively glorious experience. The amount of passion I felt within you... If I didn't already know how much you love me, I would certainly have no doubts any more, and I guess that was the point of my request. I wanted to feel the depth of your passion, the true power behind your strength, and you showed it to me. Don't you dare ever apologize for that."

Shepard shook her head. "I love you, Liara. I don't ever want to be a cause for your tears."

Liara climbed off the bed and offered a hand and a beaming smile. "Even when they are tears of overwhelming joy?" A very relieved Samantha took the offered hand and blissfully accompanied her promised to the shower.

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The next couple of days passed much like the first, with Liara telling the commander more stories and secrets of the estate, punctuated with walks on the beach and picnics in the garden. After the intense lovemaking the morning after the promise party, their follow-on encounters were tame by comparison, with which both partners were perfectly happy. They spoke of their future, of the trials they knew lay before them, and of a day they would be free to make plans for the actual bonding ceremony and have their union blessed by a Priestess. They talked about where they would live and decided that when the time came, the country estate would be their full time residence. Their final night on Thessia, they walked the beach after dinner, together with their thoughts. Shepard loved the soothing rhythms of the soft surf on the shore. The peacefulness made it almost easy to forget the Reapers, and concentrate on their future together. Shepard had stopped and watched the sun set to the southwest when she heard Liara ask if she cared to go swimming. "The water is perfect this time of year."

Shepard laughed, saying she hadn't brought her suit. When she finally turned back, Liara was standing waist deep in the water, wearing nothing but a shy smile. Her clothing lay abandoned on the shore and her wet skin shimmered iridescent under the Thessian moon; it was the most entrancing sight Shepard had ever seen. Never taking her eyes off Liara, Shepard stripped down and entered the water, closing the distance to her love slowly, as if a rapid movement would scare away the beautiful vision before her. As their bodies came together, they both shivered with delight, Liara humming with contentment, the contrast of the cooling water and their now shared body heat exhilarating and stimulating. They held each other close in the glistening moonlight.

Their kiss, initially tranquil and welcoming, built quickly to express a need and desire for more, becoming deep and desperate. Liara pulled Sam close with one arm while her opposite hand went to the back of Shepard's head and played with her silken hair, loving the way it flowed like a soft caress between her fingers. With one hand, Shepard stroked Liara's crest; her other arm snaked around the Asari's waist and her hand planted quickly into her lover's lower back, expertly searching out the folds she knew were so sensitive. Liara wasn't expecting it, and she gasped into their kiss as her knees buckled, Samantha catching and supporting her in the water. The speed of her arousal caught her completely unprepared and Liara had trouble forming a full sentence, but managed to stammer out, "Goddess... beach... please!" Shepard took pity on the vulnerable Asari and moved to the shore, folding gently down into the sand.

They made passionate love on the beach, and the physical experience was driven even higher by the emotional exchanges of support, love, trust and hope of a future together. Until that moment, Shepard had not fully comprehended how much Liara positively adored her; for accepting her, for trusting her, for easing her loneliness, for giving her a new family and for giving her the dream of a wonderful future. Nor had Liara truly understood just what she meant to Shepard. Nikki had shattered Shepard's heart and somehow Liara had fixed it... just by being with her, supporting her through her trials, her pain, her insecurities. Liara was her love and her light, the one who kept her from the road of despair. The one that gave her hope and a beacon that allowed her to always find her way home. Liara was her home. During all the exchanges of emotion, the meld had deepened to the point where their emotions, thoughts and physical pleasures had intertwined to become one. The final combination was exquisite.

They laid on the beach next to their pile of clothes, trying to catch their breath and holding each other tight as their aftershocks tapered off. They cried tears of joy due to the release of the overwhelming emotions that had been bottled up for so long. Still connected via the meld, Shepard tried to capture the tears off her lover's cheeks as they fell, not upset because she knew they were happy tears, and her frenzied attempts to catch every teardrop with her lips made both of them start to laugh. If anyone had seen them, they would have thought them crazy; two naked people rolling in the wet sand after dark, laughing and crying at the same time. Quaking with fatigue, Liara was at last forced to let the meld dissolve and they finally rose, to rinse off and throw their clothes back on for a leisurely stroll back to the house. They walked side by side, Liara's arm around Shepard's waist, Shepard's arm pulling Liara in by her shoulders, heads leaning in and meeting in the middle, two as one, even without the meld. Promise bracelets were not required for anyone to see that Liara and Samantha had become 'we.' Their joint actions were so natural and easy; circumstances had brought them together and there was no doubt as to them having a shared future.


	27. News of the Normandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occurs over first 2 chapters of Only Hope Remains. I imagine this will be rolled into mainstream OHR if I ever do a rewrite.
> 
> Ai'a me: a trusted friend and unquestioned ally   
> RRT - Rapid Response Team

**2183 - Systems Alliance Headquarters, London**

Admiral Hackett's head snapped up when his aide barged into the room unannounced. A reprimand sat on his tongue but it never emerged as he recognized the look of abject terror on the young man's face. The first thought that scampered across the admiral's mind was _Reapers_. Hackett maintained his calm and asked a simple question, hoping that his initial fear was incorrect. "What's happened?"

The aide's face was white as he responded. "Sir. We received an emergency notification from the SSV Madrid, Fifth Fleet. They responded to a distress beacon." The aide paused as if he had to force his next words across his lips. "When they got there, the ship was gone. Totally destroyed. They're picking up escape pods now... Sir. It was the Normandy!"

Hackett swallowed the lump in his throat and stood slowly. "Call the senior staff to the situation room. I want as close to real-time notifications as we can get from the Madrid."

The aide had lost his ability to speak, so just nodded and ran from the room. Hackett picked up his uniform jacket and put it on over his shirt, buttoning it closed as he started toward the doorway, shaking his head somewhat in disbelief. "Holy shit."

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News coming from the Terminus Systems was slow and when they got the final report it wasn't good. The only redeeming news was that it was _not_ the Reapers, at least not yet, but something out there had managed to destroy the top of the line Alliance _stealth_ frigate. Twenty-one souls lost, including the Normandy's captain, Lieutenant Commander Samantha Hannah Shepard. Hackett stood in front of the secure message terminal awaiting the connection. Shepard was a Council Spectre and the appropriate official notifications needed to be made, but Hackett's next conversation was with more than just a councilor, it was also with a friend. David Anderson had never married nor had children, but he had pulled Shepard back from the brink of self-destruction after that bit of bad luck with Elanos Haliat and the two had gotten very close; Shepard was... _had been_...like a daughter to David. The notification went pretty much as he expected and Hackett ended up also contacting Councilor Tevos after it became apparent David would be unable to find his way through the required conversation. Hackett was surprised when Tevos reacted in almost the same fashion. She managed to maintain her bearing a bit better and promised to make the remaining notifications, but at the same time demanded to be kept informed on any funeral or memorial services, no matter where they would be held. She simply asked to be given enough notice to arrange for the trip; she was going to attend in person as a member of the Asari delegation.

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Hackett's shuttle settled into the bay of the SSV Kilimanjaro, and he was well aware that Hannah had seen her extremely happy daughter just a month prior, fresh from the victory over Saren and Sovereign. He knew this news was going to hit the senior naval captain hard. He kept his face an expressionless mask as Hannah met him at the shuttle and escorted him to her private ready room. "Ok, Steven. Out with it. You didn't come all this way to tell me in person I didn't make Commodore, so my guess is there's some other bad news. What's happened?"

Hackett remembered asking his aide that exact same question as he filled Hannah in on everything they knew of the Normandy. Hannah sank to a chair and wrapped her arms around herself, one hand covering her mouth to keep the sobs from escaping as she rocked back and forth, tears streamed silently down her face. Hackett sat across from her, watching one of his best captains implode. "Of course you get two weeks of leave automatically. Take more if you need it. There is a bit of good news. Karin Chakwas made it. She's on her way to Arcturus station and should be there by tomorrow afternoon."

At the mention of Karin's name, it seemed as if Hannah's dismay intensified and Hackett didn't understand why, especially when Hannah asked with a trembling voice, "What about Liara T'Soni?"

Hackett was confused as to why Hannah would inquire after the Asari, but answered quickly. "Both she and the commando... sorry, I don't remember her name. They both made it as well. All the non-human crew members did."

Hannah could tell Steven was completely clueless, so took a deep breath and settled herself; she had to regain some semblance of control on her emotions after the initial shock of the news. "Liara and Samantha are... _were_... together, Steven. And the commando's name is Riana. Riana Iregos. Oh, Liara!" Hannah shook her head and closed her eyes just long enough to maintain her control, then looked at the admiral with pleading eyes. "Please treat her gently, Steven. For Samantha. And for me... she's an incredibly sweet girl. She and Sam just got engaged on Thessia." Mentioning that was more than her control could handle and another sob escaped before Hannah clamped down firmly on her emotions. If Hackett was surprised, he hid it very well; either that or he was simply out of energy to respond to any additional surprises that day. He'd had enough to last a lifetime.

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Hannah took a couple of days to contact those of Samantha's friends she knew, and asked them to spread the word if they knew of anyone else. There really wasn't very many that she knew personally. She contacted Arlyna Sheya and Niria Phessi on Thessia, Sharon Culver on Earth, and was forced to drop an e-mail into the box of N7 Lee Riley who was out on a classified mission, so Hannah could not speak to her directly. Hannah realized that Samantha did not have many close friends outside the Normandy crew, but those she did have were impacted significantly by the news of her presumed death. Hannah had added the word _presumed_ into her dialogue after speaking to David Anderson. He told her almost the same thing he had said to Liara just over a month ago, and it was now fixed firmly in her memory. _"Samantha's done the impossible so many times, I'm not giving up on her until we recover her body."_

Like Hannah, Lieutenant Colonel Sharon Culver was a commander and was stoic as she received the news, but Hannah had gotten to know the then Major Culver fairly well the year she and Sam had worked together in the First Fleet RRT...especially given the fact the last four months of Sharon's assignment there, they were basically a couple. It had been declared a non-committal open relationship, but neither wandered during the time. They just both knew it wouldn't work long-term and had agreed it was worth it anyway. Hannah was actually sad when they parted ways; she really liked Culver and thought she was a good influence on her Sam. She was therefore happy when the two had remained friends and stayed in touch, and that positive influence remained a rock in Samantha's career. When she got a commitment from Culver that she would definitely attend the memorial service, Hannah said her goodbyes and terminated the call.

Culver sat at her desk and stared blankly at the wall. Memories of their time together ran through her mind, both during and after their brief relationship. She let out a derisive snort; she didn't know what prompted the thought, but she dismissed contacting Nikki as soon as the thought entered her mind. She couldn't give a damn that 'Bitch Hills' might possibly want to know about Shepard's passing. Culver had never forgiven that woman for almost destroying the best person she'd ever met, and now, contemplating Shep's _presumed_ demise, she realized she had still loved her, even with Liara in the picture. She shook her head sadly. "Damn it, Shep. Why is this ripping my heart in two? You haven't been mine to lose for a long time..."

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With the loss of twenty-one souls, they ended up having the memorial ceremony on the parade grounds outside Alliance Headquarters, London; it was the only place big enough to handle the crowds. The remaining Normandy crew had front row seats and, along with immediate family and friends of the deceased, accounted for over one hundred attendees. By the time they counted the official Council delegations, various ambassadors whom the crew had helped along the way and old teammates and friends who were able to attend, the crowd was around four hundred strong. The ones most notably absent were the non-human crew members of the Normandy. Wrex had his hands full back on Tuchanka, Tali just recently managed to locate and reconnect with the Quarian Flotilla, and almost no one knew exactly what had happened to Liara and Garrus. No one in the Alliance except Admiral Hackett had heard a word since they disappeared to Alchera, and he wasn't talking. Everyone assumed it was an Alliance salvage team that had collected the personal belongings for return to the families, but Steven Hackett knew the truth. He knew all those crates had come from Dr Liara T'Soni... along with copies of all the electronic data and black box recordings that showed some unknown vessel attacking the Normandy; all classified at the highest levels. Hackett had tried to start an investigation into the actions of the Madrid based on what Liara had told him, but the evidence just wasn't there and eventually the Fleet Master had told him to cease and desist. Hackett hadn't heard from Liara since, and he couldn't really blame her. According to Hannah, the captain of the Madrid had abandoned the search not just for an Alliance commander, but also for Liara's fiancée. That relationship made it even more surprising when Liara didn't show for the ceremony, but then again, Hackett had no way to confirm she had even received the notification.

The Fleet Master opened the ceremony, and then the Citadel Council did their normal division of labor that Shepard had always mocked. David Anderson had a difficult time making it through his portion, but he completed the last segment and turned the stage over to the Alliance Defense Committee. Every member of the Alliance who had participated in the Battle of the Citadel had already been awarded the Palladium Star for gallantry in battle, and every member of the Normandy who died on Alchera now received a second award for giving their last measure in the continuing battle against the Geth. Every surviving crew member groaned as the award citation was read, knowing full well the enemy that destroyed the Normandy was definitely not the Geth, but they had all been questioned and then given strict orders to not reveal what they had seen. At exactly noon, every church bell in the city rang and every big gun in London fired, echoing the 21-gun salute that ended the memorial service.

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A reception followed, giving attendees a chance to speak with family and friends of the deceased, as well as an opportunity for the crew to just hang out together. With the destruction of the Normandy, most everyone was being reassigned and scattered to the four winds. Joker was an exception; he had been a special case, a demand by the Turian delegation that he be the pilot for the Normandy, even with his brittle-bone disorder. With the Normandy gone, Joker was grounded and no testimony from Dr Karin Chakwas or arguments from Captain Anderson or Admiral Hackett could change the committee's decision. Flight Lieutenant Moreau had been heard more than once saying he wished he had died in Shepard's place, because without flying he had nothing to live for anyway. Some of his shipmates blamed him for what happened and silently agreed with his statements, yet many of the others were concerned, realizing Shepard had died doing what she always did...protecting her crew... and placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of whatever sat in the captain's chair of that alien vessel.

Off to the side, a small group of two human women and two Asari sat and cried together. When the two Asari had found Hannah in the crowd, they had approached with open arms. Hannah wasn't able to stop the tears when Arlyna and Niria walked up to her, their own grief plain upon their faces. Even though Asari, Hannah considered them as much family as she thought of Karin as such; they were two of the reasons she had found it so easy to accept Liara into the Shepard family fold. Arlyna was the first to speak. " _Ai'a me._ We cannot begin to express the level of our grief. Samantha was a shining star amongst a dark night, a bearer of other's burdens. I would not be here today if she had not come for me in the mines. I owed her a debt of life that I shall now take to my grave, unable to repay."

Karin had learned all about the Asari debt of life concept when she had saved Arlyna the first time, after her shuttle had crashed, and spoke an adamant rebuttal. "You will do no such thing. We have an appropriate way to relieve you of that burden. I would appreciate it if you could locate Liara T'Soni for us. She was going to find Shepard..." Karin stopped and took a deep breath, finding it difficult to finish the sentence she had started. "...to find Shepard's remains on Alchera, since the Alliance failed so miserably at it. She promised to keep me updated, but has failed to make contact. I... _We_ need to know what she discovered." Her glance slid from the Asari to Hannah, standing beside her.

Tears trickled down Hannah's face as she whispered, adding to the request. "More importantly, I need to know Liara is alright. My Sam loved her, and the week we spent together was ..." Hannah just stopped and shook her head. "I know they were not yet married, but Liara is special and she is like a daughter to me. Just find her. Please. I know my Sam. She would want us to care for her, to make sure she knows she is not alone."

Niria was surprised. "She was bonding to Dr Liara T'Soni? We knew they were very close, but had no idea! Dr T'Soni is young to bond, and now leads one of the top houses on Thessia." She frowned as she continued. "Getting information from such a house may prove difficult, but we will do our best." Had they returned to Thessia immediately, they may have stood a chance. Instead, they stayed and visited with Hannah for the duration of her leave and by the time they returned home Liara had already left Thessia again, in search of Shepard. Liara covered her tracks well, and House T'Soni revealed no clues as to where the young doctor had traveled.

Arlyna and Niria stood suddenly and bowed. Hannah glanced over her shoulder and saw yet another pair of Asari approaching and realized it was the Asari councilor. She did not recognize the other, but assumed she was an aide of some sort. While Hannah rose to greet her new visitors, Arlyna spoke quickly to Karin. "Call us when the event is complete and we'll meet you." Knowing the real story behind Saren and Sovereign because of their friendship with Shepard, they wanted nothing to do with the duplicity of Asari politics or the councilor who played the game. Not knowing how strongly Tevos actually supported Shepard from her council position, Arlyna and Niria gave one more nod to the councilor and retreated hastily in the opposite direction; they would have been surprised had they stayed.

Though distraught, Tevos held her composure as she approached the captain who so closely resembled Samantha. There was no doubt in her mind that the human standing before her was Captain Hannah Shepard. Tevos actually bowed in respect to Hannah as she began speaking. "My condolences, Captain Shepard. I'm the Asari councilor, Raesia Tevos, and this is my First, Huntress Nizia Tenir. The Asari Republics are deeply saddened by your daughter's loss. Everyone in our official delegation had personal dealings with Commander Shepard at one time or another...she left a lasting impression with many of us." Hannah did not recognize any of them, but they included the consort Sha'ira, Matriarch Mozia, and both the Armali and the country estate house stewards, along with Tevos' entire commando escort dressed in their full honor armor. They numbered a dozen total. "She was an extraordinary individual and I, personally, shall miss her greatly, as will many. We worked together somewhat closer than many realized, and along with David Anderson, I was a staunch supporter of her as a Spectre." Tevos paused and looked around, frowning. "I am surprised that Dr T'Soni is not in evidence. I realize she must be grieving, but she is still normally more responsible than this. It makes me fear something may be amiss." She saw a spark of worry flash across the captain's face, so reached out and laid a gentle hand on Hannah's arm. "Rest assured. I will not stop looking until I know that she is well. I assisted her with some personal issues after the passing of her mother...she will not elude me for very long."

Hannah sighed and looked at the councilor with a knowing eye. "Yes, Sam told me a little bit about you. I believe her exact phrasing was 'Thank the Gods for Tevos.' She was telling me the story of the Normandy's escape to Ilos." Hannah's voice cracked as she finished and her tears began anew when it hit home that the Normandy failed to escape her last encounter. "I... I'm sorry, Councilor."

Tevos just closed her eyes to prevent the water building in her own eyes from turning to tears. "There is no apology necessary, Captain. I understand your grief. I do believe it is time for me to take my leave. Please be aware, if there is anything I can _personally_ do for you, do not hesitate to contact my office. If you can't get to me, ask David to find me and I'll contact you as soon as I am able."

"Thank you, Councilor. The main thing I would ask of you is to make sure Liara is alright. In a kinder universe, she would have eventually been as a daughter to me. The other... and I know I speak out of turn so don't feel the need to respond, but I hope you are taking the threat Sam spoke of seriously." Hannah knew Asari custom well and promptly held her hand out flat. "Goddess be with you, Tevos."

The councilor's face displayed a sad smile, the scene playing before her eyes so familiar, easy to imagine the auburn-haired human before her as Samantha Shepard, but the truth caused an inconceivable ache in her heart. Tevos gently laid her hand on top as she responded, "Goddess be with you as well, Captain. Especially now in your time of need." Tevos paused only slightly before continuing. "And yes. I know very well what Commander Shepard saw in her worst nightmares. I will not take those visions lightly." Tevos turned to leave, but paused as Tenir unexpectedly stepped up to the grieving mother.

"Captain. Your daughter was one of the bravest and most stalwart protectors I have ever had the privilege to know. I was sure that one day I would have the honor of fighting by her side. It saddens me greatly to know that day will never come. I extend the offer to you. If you ever have need of my services, I would honor my promise to your daughter by fighting at your side. If you ever have need, all you must do is call. If it is within my ability, I will come." Tenir bowed to Hannah before promptly taking her place beside the councilor as she walked away.

Karin looked at Hannah with a look of surprise on her face. "I knew Samantha had Tevos' support, but that? That was honest affection. Tevos cared more deeply for Samantha and Liara than I ever realized. I do believe Liara is in very good hands."

Hannah shook herself and stood tall. "Yes, well. I need to make my rounds through the surviving crew, thank them for their service and give condolences to the rest of the grieving families." Hannah wiped the remaining tears from her face. "Then, we'll say goodbye to David and be on our way. I've had enough of this for today."

A strong contralto voice from the side pulled her back and made Hannah catch her breath. "Momma Shep. I'm so sorry I'm late. I hope you have time for one more?"

Hannah turned and grabbed the newcomer in a tight embrace. "Sharon Culver! You know I always have time for you! As the day wore on, I thought for sure you weren't going to make it!"

Culver tried valiantly to put a smile on her face. "You know how it is being a commander. There's always that one last minute crap thing popping up to ruin even the best of plans."

"I gather from your question you heard my latest declaration." With a nod from Culver, Hannah continued. "Then you'll walk with us and join us for dinner. Do you still have all of tomorrow off?"

Culver nodded again with her response. "Yes, Ma'am."

Hannah slapped Culver's arm. "Don't you 'yes ma'am' me!"

Culver's face drew into a reserved smirk, "Yes, Momma."

Hannah stopped dead in her tracks and turned to Culver, grabbing her in a second tight hug. "Gods, Culver! You do so remind me of Samantha!" She let go and took a deep breath, sniffed and wiped the tears that were trying to start again. "That's enough of that. Let's get this done so we can chat and relax over dinner."

Culver again replied, "Yes, Momma," and the faintest trace of a real smile played at the edges of Hannah Shepard's lips for the first time in many days.

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In a darkening apartment in Rio, a lone figure sat watching a story unfold on the evening news. Images from the memorial ceremony for the twenty-one souls lost when the Alliance's top frigate was destroyed in a surprise attack above some far distant planet. After a brief summary of the Normandy's role in the Battle of the Citadel and the follow-on mission to eliminate the last vestiges of the Geth, the screen was filled with the standard service pictures of those lost. Lieutenant Commander Samantha Shepard was top center of the screen with three more rows of pictures below her.

Suddenly the lights flashed on, accompanied by a curious voice. "Hey, babe. Whatcha doing sitting in here with the lights off?" Kate had absolutely no idea who Samantha Shepard was, other than some big shot Alliance hero who always seemed to be in the news, and it was going to stay that way.

She quickly wiped away the tears that had involuntarily sprung from her eyes. She had forgiven Samantha a long time ago, but she had never been able to forgive herself for being so ruthless and callous in how she handled the situation. The original mistake of misplaced blame and the follow-on feelings of undeniable overwhelming guilt had made it impossible for her to go to Shepard and apologize, much less beg for any forgiveness. She issued a partial lie to her current lover. "Seeing the Alliance memorial ceremony makes me think of Jon." She wiped the remainder of the tears from her eyes and sat with Kate as they started to eat their dinner, though she no longer really had any appetite. _Nikki Hills, you don't have any right to cry! You threw that away a long time ago, and now you've lost the chance to ever correct your mistake._


	28. Cinnamon and Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Occurs during chapter 5 of Only Hope Remains. Between Liara's nightmare and Sha'ira's visit to Illium. It's all about an ill-advised romance that shouldn't have been allowed to happen, but who can tame the heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a nod to Theodur with thanks for our interesting, inspiring (and sometimes long) conversations. He long ago figured this out. 
> 
> Tides are - a reminder that individuals are not always in command of their own destiny

**2183 - Citadel**

Mozia and Aethyta had met with her early in the day regarding Liara T'Soni, and the plan was for Tevos to speak with Sha'ira that same evening, but the day had gotten away from her. For some reason today everyone decided they needed to speak with her immediately. At the very start of the day, the unscheduled visit of Matriarchs Mozia and Aethyta had started a domino effect that lasted the whole day. She had worked through lunch in what she thought was a failed attempt to catch up, but perhaps she had managed after all. The Councilor buzzed her aide. "Dalis? Do I have any appointments left today?"

Dalis Shegos was nothing if not efficient and answered promptly. "No, Councilor. You're now free until 10 AM tomorrow."

Tevos sat up and started to clear her desk. _Goddess be praised. Tonight might be salvageable after all._ She quickly typed a message on her omnitool and stood up to leave the office. As she stepped out, both Dalis and Huntress Nizia Tenir turned to face her. "I'm leaving for the day. You know how to find me for emergencies. I have a morning breakfast meeting, so won't be in until 9 AM. Should still be plenty of time to prep for my 10 o'clock. Who is it with?"

Dalis looked at her apologetically. "I'm afraid it's with Din Korlak, Councilor."

Tevos laughed lightly. "Don't look so contrite, Dalis. It's a complete waste of time, but the Ambassador is harmless. I'm sure it's just his quarterly gripe session about why it's taking so long for them to get a council seat. Of course this one might be a bit more confrontational because of the Human advancement, but that's an easy enough argument to win. I didn't see any Volus participation in the Citadel Fleet fighting Sovereign." Tevos shook her head quickly, as though to shake off the day's business. "Anyway. If that's all?"

Her aide smiled. "Yes, Councilor. I'll alert you if something drastic happens, otherwise you'll just see it pop up on tomorrow's schedule. See you in the morning."

Tevos gave a curt nod. "Thank you, Dalis. Have a good evening. Say hello to Faessa for me." With that, Tevos was out the door, with Tenir in trail just off her left shoulder. When they arrived at Tevos' apartment the councilor turned to her First. "Nizia, you know the consort is coming this evening. She'll be here very shortly."

The huntress smiled knowingly. "Yes, Mistress. I assume she's bringing her six acolytes?"

Tevos smiled in return. "Yes, she is. And we'll be retiring to the private quarters for the evening, so you and the night watch can relax a little bit. You're free to do whatever you like in the common area. I doubt we'll need anything." Tevos didn't bother to release the commandos for the night; it would be a waste of breath. She knew Tenir would never let the responsibility to protect her councilor fall to another, even if they were the consort's well trained acolytes.

When the consort arrived, it was evident she and her acolytes had been to Tevos' private quarters before and were very familiar with the layout, turning quickly to their tasks of pouring wine and preparing dinner, as well as providing security. Tevos and Sha'ira made themselves comfortable on the couch and ate while they talked. Tevos took a sip of her wine and cleared her throat before she started speaking. "Thank you for accommodating me on such short notice, Sha'ira."

The consort canted her head in understanding. "Of course, Raesia. I understand your life as a councilor too well to expect anything else, in all reality. What is so dire that it could not wait?"

Tevos sighed heavily. "I am afraid I need to cancel our retreat this weekend. I was very much looking forward to it."

Sha'ira's brow raised in surprise. "Now I know something's wrong. What's happened?"

"You know I promised to look after Liara, both to Nezzie and to the Shepards." Tevos frowned. "I had a visit this morning from Mozia and Aethyta. In person." She had Sha'ira's full attention now. The two matriarchs would not have traveled all the way from Thessia unless something terrible had happened. Tevos relayed the detailed explanation of Liara's stressful situation, the resultant confidence-shattering nightmare and the panicked call from Liara's First, Commando Riana Iregos. "I need you to use our scheduled time to make a quick trip to Illium to pay our dear young maiden a visit. She needs counsel, Shi. Urgently."

"And because of my previous connection as her mentor, you feel I am the most qualified for such a thing... And unfortunately for our retreat, I believe you are correct." Sha'ira pursed her lips in thought. "What disturbs me most is that I should have anticipated this."

Tevos' eyes came up from the last bit of wine swirling in her glass. "What do you mean? Why should you have sensed this coming?"

Sha'ira sighed. "I told you I had a visit with Commander Shepard, but of course I gave you no specifics. Now, I feel I must, as you already seem to be knee deep in whatever is happening and the tide may be coming in fast. You'll need to be ready." Tevos glanced at her with concern. The consort _never_ revealed information about what transpired between her and her clients. Sha'ira would not look at her as she continued her narrative. "The commander's story did not end with the Battle of the Citadel. Initially, I thought I saw things in her that were well into the future. Then, given the reports of her death, I made myself think it was just the traces of her visions of the Reapers. But now I realize my first interpretation was correct, no matter how improbable. I actually saw her fighting them. Not as some long lost memory of a race long since destroyed, but as herself, here and now."

Tevos' face paled significantly from her normal deep blue. "You saw them? The Reapers really are coming then?" Tevos shuddered involuntarily, no matter how hard she fought the feeling of dread that threatened to overtake her. "May the Goddess have pity on our souls."

"The tides are, Rae. We can but hope to acquit ourselves such that should we perish, the Goddess sees us worthy of the light. But that also means that Samantha Shepard is truly not lost to us... and I have failed to perceive young Liara's part in all this. Even had you not asked, I would go to her now. Somehow, I must convince her to talk to me and share what she has done. I will make arrangements for the trip, and then let her know I am coming to visit."

No small amount of relief washed over the councilor and she sighed and set her wine glass down. "Thank you, Sha'ira. You have no idea how much this matters to me."

Sha'ira laughed sadly. "Oh, but unfortunately I do, if it is dire enough to cancel an extremely rare retreat for just the two of us." Sha'ira's eyes finally returned to Tevos' face. "If our business is concluded, Councilor?"

Tevos looked across at the consort and stood, walking slowly over to the Asari sitting on the opposite couch, offering her a hand up. "Yes, our business is most definitely concluded, Consort."

Sha'ira stood and faced the councilor, reaching across the divide to gently stroke her hand along Tevos' side crests, just above her ear. As her hand reached the ends and caressed the tips, she whispered gently, her velvety voice a soft balm on frayed nerves. "Good. Because if I am done with the Asari councilor, I would very much like to spend time with Raesia Tevos. Especially now, since it appears we have lost our private weekend... it seems... I will be traveling." Sha'ira wrapped her free arm around Tevos' waist and drew her in, kissing her deeply.

Tevos moaned into the kiss, returning the gesture with rapt enthusiasm, tongues dancing with their joyous contact. When the kiss ended, she stepped around Sha'ira and gripped the zipper of her gown, slowly drawing it downward while nuzzling the folds on the back of Sha'ira's neck, reveling in the coolness of her perfectly dappled teal skin. Sha'ira softly exhaled her words. "I do wish we could still take our weekend retreat. You are not the only one who will miss it."

Tevos smiled as the gown slipped off her lover's shoulders, but rather than let it drop, she careful guided it down to a point where Sha'ira could step out of it, then folded it softly across the back of the couch. The acolytes would pick it up and hang it for them. "Goddess, Shi. Your body never seems to lose its allure. I could feast upon you forever with my eyes and never again be hungry." Her soft hands climbed back up Sha'ira's body and accompanied her words as if she were blind, imprinting an image in her mind of every soft curve, the tautness of her abdomen and finally the pillowy softness of her voluptuous breasts as she held them cupped in her palms, drawing Sha'ira back into her. Tevos nuzzled behind her ear and sucked on the folds at the back of her neck, drawing in the scent of sweet cinnamon mixed with the spice of eezo.

Sha'ira closed her eyes after she stepped out of her dress, knowing what was coming. She was quickly rewarded with the soft touch of Tevos' hands, running tantalizingly across her skin on the way to their targets. When the hands wrapped around her breasts and she felt Tevos press against her back, she let her head loll to the side so she could feel her lover's breath feather across her neck. She took a quaking breath and moaned with a deep contentment as Tevos suckled on her neck folds, lifting them and running a tongue deep through the valleys. As she continued to suckle, Tevos lovingly caressed her lover's breasts and she could feel the sexual tension building rapidly as Shi's breathing started to speed up.

As a highly trained consort, Sha'ira was not supposed to let anyone in, but somewhere along the way Councilor Raesia Tevos had somehow slipped through her considerable defenses and became firmly entrenched. It was a relationship Sha'ira could never publicly affirm so long as she was Consort, but it was also one she would never be able to personally rebuff. Tevos had become a part of her before she ever realized it was even happening and then it was too late; Sha'ira would leave the Citadel and retire before she ever gave up Rae. When the first spike of warmth shot through her center, Sha'ira's abdomen quavered in anticipation and the first surge of wetness dampened her panties. After a few more moments of continuous enticing attention from Rae, her legs started to tremble and her incredibly sexy yet unsteady voice whispered, "We have to move. I'm not going to be able to stand here much longer."

With a final long, slow, provoking slide of her tongue, Tevos released the neck folds and turned Sha'ira around, pulled her close and placed a passionate kiss at the base of her throat before trailing her tongue up to the base of her chin. She then placed a soft kiss on her lover's lips as she massaged her lower back, making Sha'ira gasp and arch into her hands as another pulse of pleasure shot through her entire body. "Goddess, Rae, you do know how to touch me!"

Sha'ira took a deep breath and steadied herself, looking deep into the striking gray eyes before her. "You have too many clothes on." Her hands found the fasteners of Tevos' gown and unceremoniously dropped the zipper to her waist. Her hands gripped the neckline and eased the gown forward, baring Tevos' torso; Sha'ira then knelt and guided the gown past the hips. Tevos used Sha'ira's shoulders to steady herself as she lifted one foot at a time so her gown could be removed and dropped off to the side. Before Tevos could contemplate anything else, Sha'ira pulled her panties down as well, and Tevos had to lift at least one foot out or risk tripping. As she did so, Sha'ira intercepted it and guided her foot out to the side. Sha'ira eyed her prize, as Tevos now stood before the kneeling Asari with her feet shoulder width apart. The tables had turned and the councilor found herself unexpectedly no longer in control of the encounter.

Not one to lose an opportunity, Sha'ira moved in quickly, her knees positioned to keep Tevos' feet spread, her hands raised quickly to massage a wonderfully firm butt as her tongue ran up Tevos thigh, ending at smooth, wet folds. Tevos unexpectedly shivered almost violently, not from cold, but from the hot breath that suddenly blew across her slick sex. Her grip on Sha'ira's shoulders tightened as she struggled to maintain her balance as the first maddening sweep of a tongue ran across her engorged clit. All she could manage was a whimper of delight as Sha'ira's mouth closed on her and started a gentle sucking rhythm while her tongue ran up and down the short shaft and occasionally paused to caress a sensitive tip. One of Sha'ira's hands came forward and familiar long slender fingers slid in to begin pleasing, pumping thrusts. It wasn't long before her lover started to pant and her legs started to shake as she groaned out, "Goddess, Shi! Have mercy!"

Sha'ira almost laughed, but instead, she released Tevos long enough to whisper with hot breath still flowing teasingly across Tevos sex, "The couch is directly behind you. Just sit."

Trusting her lover completely, Tevos let herself collapse backwards onto the couch and Sha'ira used the hand on Rae's butt to position her as she sat down. Shi hardly slowed her ministrations, moving gracefully to keep contact with Tevos, and now that Rae was sitting, Shi's free hand searched out another target. It slipped smoothly down past her own stomach and found a neglected nub, eagerly awaiting attention, already soaked and pulsing hard.

As she sat, Tevos' hands also became free, no longer necessary to maintain her balance, so they sought out Sha'ira's crests. As Sha'ira leaned over her to continue her exceedingly gratifying ministration with her mouth, her crest tips and the sensitive back of her neck presented themselves to Tevos' hands, allowing her lover full access.

Tevos _did_ know how to touch Sha'ira, and combined with her own hand putting pressure on her clit, Shi was soon struggling not to squirm under Rae's practiced touch on the sensitive tips of her crests and in her neck folds. However, those same hands on the back of her head helped to anchor her in place, so she was able to continue her stimulating attentions with her very talented mouth. When Shi's thrusting fingers finally curled into the ridges along Tevos' front wall _just so_ , Rae was unable to hold back a particularly loud exclamation of gratification as she felt a piercing heat shoot down her spine and light her sex afire. "By the Goddess!" She gritted her teeth and arched her back, slamming her eyes shut and throwing her head to the back of the couch. The dam broke and she could only stutter out her next words, begging between panting breaths as she concentrated on holding back, her eyes already midnight black with her yearning. "Sh-Shi.... I can't... It's t-time... pl-ease!"

Sha'ira's eyes closed but for a second and reopened to reveal the pure obsidian of unadulterated desire. She reached for Rae and found a mind straining to stand against exquisite physical bliss aching for release. Both Asari held secrets they were responsible for protecting so they could never experience a true full union; but they also both understood and accepted that truth while knowing their secreted spaces would never interfere in the slightest with a complete sexual joining. There was instant recognition as soon as the familiar landscapes of their minds touched and they dove deep, completely and unreservedly sharing the most intimate of their sexual pleasures. Their bodies quickly peaked together in the ecstasy of their combined orgasms and their voices sang as one in their celebration of the perfect harmony of their souls.

Completely intoxicated by their divine pleasure, neither one remembered how they got to bed, but that was where they awoke in one another's arms the next morning. Tevos gazed lovingly into Shi's soft blue eyes and wondered how she ever managed to sneak past the consort's barriers. She started a sentence she knew she couldn't finish. "Shi... I wish... I know it's not possible but..." She finally just sighed and silenced herself by leaning in and busying her lips with a kiss.

Sha'ira returned the kiss and pulled them tightly together, relishing in the comfort of the familiar gentle warmth they shared. She too wanted to wake like this as a constant, instead of the occasional stolen moments in the frenzy of their lives. When the kiss broke, she looked at the hazy gray eyes of her lover and recognized the want she saw reflected in them. "I know and I understand... Maybe when the storm passes and we somehow manage to see our way through, we will both retire. Then...perhaps." Shi kissed Rae with a desire born of hopes and dreams and they finally separated, both wanting, but each resigned to her own path.

It wasn't all that much later when Consort Sha'ira stepped into her office on the main concourse of the Presidium, ready to start her day. She greeted those acolytes outside her inner circle just as she had every other day of her life, just as she would continue to do every day forward until things changed, no one the wiser. On the other end of the Presidium, Councilor Tevos stepped out of the council tower elevator and walked quickly to her office, greeting her aide, Dalis, just as she did every other morning and just as she would until she was replaced by another as councilor. The present was a reality both she and Sha'ira had to live within. They both knew the odds were stacked against them, but there existed a dream they both shared. They also both knew it was a dream worth dreaming.


	29. Little Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This happens immediately following the destruction of the Normandy. Occurs over time from Ch 2 - 6 of Only Hope Remains. Tali's POV.

"I'm sorry, Liara. I just can't... I need to go back to the Fleet and officially end my pilgrimage or I risk being outcast. I can't stay. And it's too... hard, without Shepard..." The Quarian's voice was weak and shaky as she slumped forward and started sobbing quietly, locked away in the privacy of her envirosuit, her faceplate on its darkest setting so Liara could see nothing of her expression. It was obvious to Liara that Tali was as broken as she was. Because of the conditions onboard ship within the Fleet, each couple is only allowed one child so Tali, like Liara, didn't have any siblings either. Her relationship with Shepard was akin to having an older sister and Tali had lost her confidant and protector, just as Liara had lost her lover. Liara could not say whether either relationship had more virtue, or more pain when it was so abruptly taken away. But Liara had no more tears to cry; after her archaeological career had been derailed and her mother had been turned and killed, then her initial soul-wrenching reaction to Shepard's death, now she just felt numb. Numb and angry.

Liara sighed and gave her a quick hug. "It's ok, Tali. I understand. Go do what you need to do. I will miss you."

Tali sat in her chair and stared at the floor, seeing nothing but Liara's feet as she turned and walked away. As the feet disappeared from her range of vision, Tali suddenly feared she would never see the Asari again, so she jumped up and called out, "Liara!"

Hoping she had changed her mind, Liara stopped and turned as Tali ran after her and enveloped her in a tight hug. "I love you, Liara. You are as much a sister to me as Shepard ever was and I couldn't stand to lose you, too. Please promise me you'll stay safe and keep in touch?"

A mixture of affection and sadness nearly overwhelmed Liara as she returned the embrace. "I will try, Tali. I do not know where this quest will take me, but I promise Shepard will be avenged. I will try let you know what I find."

Tali nodded and stepped back. "Be careful, Liara. Please. And good luck. _Keelah se'lai_."

\-------------------------------

Having to relive the torturous attack was ghastly, but the debriefings were done quicker than any of them had anticipated. All the non-human crew were also given their final pay along with a 'hardship' settlement equivalent to an additional month's wages. The Alliance assumed it would be sufficient to get them transportation back to their home worlds and get reestablished. Tali was surprised at their generosity; she wasn't sure the Migrant Fleet would be so kind. She stashed the credit chit and her transportation authorization and immediately headed back to the docks to book passage to the Citadel. From there, she figured it would be much easier to locate the fleet and secure transport. Being the daughter of an admiral and one of the saviors of the Citadel apparently had its advantages. As soon as Tali made contact, she was instructed to catch the next Turian colonial shuttle to Gellix in the Minos Wasteland. They had a salvage team on Korlus and would send a marine escort to pick her up.

Now that her decision was made, she was eager to be underway and get back to familiar surroundings. When the scout ship arrived, Tali was greeted by a relatively tall marine who went by the name of Kal'Reegar. She was happy to see a fellow Quarian and they boarded quickly after brief introductions. Reegar was very quiet, and Tali worried the trip was going to awfully long if spent in silence, so she inquired as to why. Reegar glanced at her quickly before returning his attention to the controls. "Just being respectful, Ma'am. I know you just lost your captain and figured you wouldn't be much up for conversation."

Tali sniffed, "Thank you for your kindness but it helps to talk. She was so much more than just a captain. She was a good friend, and practically a sister to me. She saved my life and my short time with her on the Normandy taught me much more about the galaxy than I ever learned in the Fleet or during the first year of my pilgrimage."

Tali could hear the respect in Reegar's voice when he answered. "Well, it would have been tough to pick a better captain to learn from than Lieutenant Commander Shepard. I've heard some crazy stories about the things you and the team did under her leadership." Reegar's voice got solemn. "I'd be happy to listen, if you're up to telling some first-hand stories. Maybe I'll even get a laugh out of you when I tell you the rumor versions. I have a hard time discerning the truth out of most of the stuff I've heard."

Tali actually let out a little chuckle. "Believe me, if I hadn't lived through it, I wouldn't believe half the stuff we actually came through alive." Tears ran down her face as she choked out her next sentence. "She always took care of us. Always put us first, before herself. That's what eventually got her killed."

They sat in companionable silence for awhile as Tali collected herself and thought about where to start. She finally decided she might as well start at the beginning, with her ill-conceived plan to sell information to the Shadow Broker. By the time she had completed the tale about Virmire, to include hacking their way through all the gates and doors as part of Team Shadow, taking down comm towers and destroying satellite dishes, all the way through destroying Saren's entire Krogan army and escaping the nuke with under a minute to spare, Kal'Reegar was already sold. The stories of the confrontation with the Rachni, the downfall of Benezia, the theft of the Normandy and the push through an army of Geth across Ilos ending with the Mako trip through the relay put the whole saga well over the top and made the actual confrontation against Saren and Sovereign seem anticlimactic in comparison.

When they reached Korlus, Tali elected to stay on the scout ship with Reegar to finish her stories, rather than be tossed in among the crew of the salvage vessel. She knew the larger ship would be crowded, so decided to take advantage of what personal space she could with Kal, while she had it. When Tali concluded her account of life aboard the Normandy, Reegar shook his head. "I have to take back what I said about the rumor versions I heard. Seems they were closer to the truth than I realized. Not exactly much room to exaggerate." Kal didn't hesitate long before he spoke again. "When we get back to the Fleet, I'll be headed right back out again the next week. We have a special mission with a science team. I think you should volunteer."

Tali huffed. "I'm not a scientist. What would I do on a scientific expedition?"

Kal laughed, "You're kidding, right? You're probably the Fleet's foremost expert on the Geth and their new advanced technologies, be it of their own making or something they got from Sovereign. You've seen things no one else in the Fleet has even dreamed of. If you stay, you're most likely going to be stuck working with Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh on special projects in a laboratory. Based on the stories you just told me, you'll be bored out of your mind in a week."

Tali wasn't quite sure what to make of his assumptions, and while she thought about it, Reegar took Tali's silence as permission to continue his argument. "You've hacked advanced technology others in the Fleet haven't even seen, much less tried to work with, and the team is supposed to investigate some odd phenomena with dark energy irregularities with the relays. Top all of that with the fact you were the sole representative of the Quarian people in the Battle of the Citadel, and you're a shoe-in for the Heavy Fleet. If you ask, I'm sure Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema will be more than happy to accept you to the Neema and assign you to the expedition."

Reegar couldn't see that Tali had a light smile on her face when she asked the next question, but he could hear that her voice had picked up a lighter lilt. "Would I be able to carry my shotgun and work side-by-side with the Marines on this expedition?"

All Kal could do in response was laugh, knowing her answer was yes.

\-------------------------------

No one else in the galaxy travelled the relays like the Migrant Fleet, so no one else had even noticed the mass relays had started to show minor fluctuations in their dark energy output levels during activation. The variation wasn't large, but it affected drift rates on jumps, so the flotilla had started spacing their ships at greater intervals when they jumped the relays en masse to avoid collisions during jump emergence. Tali'Zorah vas Neema spent the next two years with Kal'Reegar and the Dark Energy Task Force, studying the phenomena. Unless she was in the analysis center running data, Tali took to traveling between research locations on the Ganu, Kal'Reegar's scout ship. The small ship with its squad of twelve marines was much closer to what she had gotten use to while living on the Normandy; she now found the larger research vessel far too crowded and wasn't sure if she would ever be comfortable returning to the Fleet proper.

Over time, she and Kal became very good friends. Tali found Kal very easy to open up to, largely because he was the first Quarian she had spent any significant time with since mid-way through her pilgrimage and he had helped her through her grief over Shepard. Because of that, she trusted him and felt she could talk to him about anything. He brought a military perspective that helped her understand some of what she thought were Shepard's bizarre and dangerous choices during firefights, and more importantly the decision to pull Joker from the Bridge at the cost of her own life. Kal was patient and understanding with her, a top-notch marine, and really cared for the Quarian people. In a way, he reminded her a lot of Shepard and Tali eventually realized she had developed more than just friendship for the marine.

They chatted a lot about their early days in the flotilla and Tali learned that before he joined the marines, he was Kal'Reegar nar Shellen and had grown up on one of the sister liveships to the Rayya, the ship Tali had been raised on. There were only three liveships in the entire Migrant Fleet, the Shellen, the Rayya and the Uriyah, and they provided a majority of the food for all 17 million Quarians. Coming from that particular same background, both understood the delicate balance of survival the Migrant Fleet practiced every day, with the entire Quarian race only one disaster away from going extinct. The more the two talked, the more they realized they had more in common, especially since Kal had joined the marines and Tali the Machinist, along with Chiktikka, had inadvertently become a pretty respectable shotgun-toting combat engineer. Tali spoke to him a lot about the attack and the weapon that so easily destroyed the Normandy, so Kal introduced her to a few of the Flotilla defense specialists. They started working together to adapt the Normandy's stealth technology for some of their frigates and cruisers and to develop some sort of shielding or barrier technology that could handle high-power directed energy weapons. It was not long before they started meeting with success.

\-------------------------------

Tali walked into the command center to hear the Expedition leader arguing with Kal. She stood to the side listening until she heard who they were fighting over and interrupted. "Veetor? As in Veetor'Nara nar Rayya?"

The expedition lead looked at her, "That's right. You were from the Rayya, weren't you. It's a huge ship though... You knew Veetor?"

Tali rolled her eyes, "No, I just pulled his name magically from the space dust. Of course I knew him. He spent most of his time working in the gardens. He's very nervous around large crowds." As an afterthought, her voice pitched to irritation and she added, "And people with guns he doesn't know."

The lead looked at Kal and shrugged her shoulders. "Doesn't matter, the expedition takes precedence over a simple communications failure investigation request from the Fleet. You and the scouts stay with the expedition. End of discussion."

Kal growled, "But we're the closest Quarian vessel. It's our duty to respond!"

The expedition lead was frustrated. "It was not a distress call, so does not take precedence!"

"I'll go." Tali stated, as she looked between the two debaters. "If it's a communications failure I'll have it fixed in no time. Give me one of the shuttles."

The expedition leader sighed in exasperation. "Fine. Take a shuttle."

Kal looked worried. "What if it's not just a failure? What if it's a pirate or slaver raid? At least send her with a small squad of marines."

The leader exhaled a heavy breath full of frustration and waved both his hands in the air in surrender. " _Keelah_! Fine. Send her with Prazza's squad."

As their shuttle touched down at Freedom's Progress, it was surreal. A soft snow was falling, muffling all noise, not that there was much to muffle; the only person they saw was Veetor and when he saw the shuttle descending he ran the other way and disappeared into a building. When the team deployed, they came under fire from defense mechs and had to fight their way into the first communications building they could find. They were hunched over a map figuring out the colony layout and how to get to where Veetor was hiding when the door on the other side of the room opened. Expecting more mechs, the entire team drew weapons and welcomed their new visitors, Prazza shouting, "Stop right there!"

Tali glanced up and saw three humans dressed in Cerberus colors, all armed and one in full combat gear complete with helmet and face plate. She ran up and pushed the weapon of the lead Quarian down, saying, "Prazza, you said you'd let me handle any colonial interactions."

Shepard immediately dropped the barrel of her weapon down and took a step forward, calling in surprise, "Tali?"

Tali's head snapped around, completely blindsided by the familiar voice, "Wait.... Shepard?"

Prazza wasn't giving in, pulling his weapon back up and shouting, "I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!"

Tali was livid, shouting at her security detail. "Put those weapons down!" Tali turned back to the group that just barged in on them and hesitated. She really couldn't believe her eyes and ears. "Shepard? Is that... you're alive? How?"

Shepard laughed with apparent joy at the reunion and yanked her helmet off so Tali could see her face. "Tali! God it's good to see you, but forgive me if I'm not real comfortable talking at gunpoint."

Tali turned back to her squad yet again, "Prazza! Tell your team to put their weapons away!" Prazza was still belligerent, but put his rifle way. "Damn it, Tali, this is bullshit! Everyone knows Shepard died, and if she did somehow survive all this time, why would your old captain be working for Cerberus?"

Tali turned back to the commander as she answered him. "I don't know. But this is Shepard... and I don't know, but Shepard would have a reason." She looked directly at Shepard, expecting an explanation.

Shepard understood Tali's need and tried to explain. "Tali, it really is me. If you need more proof, ask some obscure question from one of our private moments down in Engineering... or wherever. Truth is, the Alliance abandoned me for dead and Cerberus found me. They nursed me through a two-year coma and now they're giving me resources because we have the same goal... find out who's taking the human colonists. It's their ship, but I'm calling the shots. I'm not taking their orders. What about you? Why are you here?"

Tali shook her head, "I don't need any more proof, Shepard. Everything about you is just so... you! I have no doubts. To answer your question, one of our people was here on Pilgrimage. He never liked large groups, so figured a small backwater colony would be perfect. His name is Veetor and we're here searching as well... to find one of our people. We saw him when we landed, but he took off and hid. We suspect he is the one who reprogrammed the mechs."

Prazza couldn't help but add his opinion, "He has damage to his suit's CO2 scrubbers, and combine that with an infection from an open-air exposure, and he's likely delirious."

Shepard paused only briefly before offering to partner with her squad. "Ok, Tali. Might as well team up. Who knows how many mechs this colony had for defense? Two teams stand a better chance at succeeding. Veetor is the only witness we've got, and we've lost hundreds of thousands of colonists. We just need to know what he saw; we need to know who's doing this so we can go after them. Deal?"

Tali agreed, and the teams split up, each taking a different path to the warehouse where they thought Veetor was hiding. The two teams progressed through the colony, fighting their way through mechs and security drones, while continuing to search for other clues. It wasn't long before Tali called out on the comm, "Be careful, Shepard. There's a squad of security drones up ahead."

The male that was with Shepard responded, "Thanks for the warning. We'll take care of them."

When her group arrived at the rendezvous point, the Quarian marines refused to wait. Tali shouted at them to no avail and they disappeared between buildings. "Shepard! Prazza and his squad rushed on ahead. I told them to wait but they wouldn't listen. They don't trust Cerberus, so I'm sure they want to find Veetor and take him away before you get here! Hurry!" Tali followed them to keep tabs on their position, sending updates on her location to Shepard via her omnitool. Gunfire erupted in front of her and she ducked into a shelter. She peeked around a corner to see what was going on and her stomach tied itself into knots. Tali cried out across the comm, "Veetor reprogrammed a heavy mech! It's tearing Prazza's squad apart!"

Shepard responded to Tali, "We're right outside the blast shield, if you can drop it, we can help!"

As the blast shield came down, the Normandy team saw the Quarian marine squad getting obliterated. The mech had heavy armor plating and heavy weapons; it was clear the Quarians were definitely overmatched. Tali launched Chiktikka into the battle and watched as Shepard first used a grenade launcher but quickly switched over to her heavy pistol. The other two humans with her were obviously biotics and they eventually took the mech down, but not before her squad took a lot of damage. She ran from cover and immediately started giving first aid to the marines. When Shepard approached her, Tali waived her off and told her to go find Veetor while she tended to the Quarian wounded. Once she got them stable and ensured everyone's envirosuits had been patched, she headed to the warehouse to find Shepard and Veetor.

Tali walked in to hear the end of Veetor's statement, "...The swarms. I recorded them with my omnitool. Lots of readings. Electromagnetic. Dark energy."

The female with Shepard stepped up. "We need to get this data to the Illusive Man. Grab the Quarian and call the shuttle to come pick us up."

Tali was instantly angry. "What!? Veetor is injured! He needs treatment, not an interrogation!"

Shepard glanced at Tali with a look that told her everything was ok and turned to Miranda, "Just hold on a minute! We don't need Veetor, just his data. We can take a copy of all the security footage, and I trust Tali to give us a copy of Veetor's omnitool data." Shepard paused, and then looked back at Tali. "Unless you can come with us? I would love to have you back at my side Tali, just like old times."

Tali's heart jumped at the offer. If only she could take Shepard up on it! "I'm still trying to accept that you're even alive...and with Cerberus! Even so, I have obligations, Shepard. I have a mission of my own which I can't walk away from that right now, not even for you."

Shepard looked from Tali to Miranda. "We get the omnitool data, but Veetor goes with Tali. He needs medical attention best provided by his own people."

Tali breathed a sigh of relief; however unlikely it seemed, maybe Shepard really was in charge. "Thank you, Shepard. I'm glad you're the one giving the orders. I promise, if we turn up anything, I'll send it your way."

Shepard thanked her and gave Tali a firm hug before they parted. She knew it was truly Shepard when the commander whispered quietly in her ear so only Tali would hear. "I need you to get word to Blue...quietly." As she stepped back to take her leave, Shepard spoke out loud. "Take care of yourself out there, little sister. I hope to hear from you soon."

She watched Shepard until a white shuttle bearing Cerberus markings came and picked up the threesome, sailing back up into the snow filled sky. She turned back to the confused Quarian. "Come on, Veetor. Let's get you home."

Veetor cocked his head to the side. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya?"

She held her hand out to him. "Yes, Veetor. Only it's Tali'Zorah vas Neema, now. Come on. The Fleet is worried about you."

Veetor took her hand sadly. "vas Neema. You finished your pilgrimage. Not like me. I can't go back yet."

Tali laughed. "Are you kidding? You did great! You survived a Collector attack and collected data that might be the very heart of the solution for our Dark Energy Task Force! I'm sure Captain Daro'Bekk vas Rayya will be more than happy to have you back to work in the gardens again if that is what you wish."

Veetor's voice picked up significantly, happier, but still sounding tired. "You think so? That would be nice. I would like to be able to return home now. Outside is.... confusing."

"Only because you're sick right now, Veetor. Things will be clear again after we get you well." Tali led him gently back to the marines, where they waited until one of the healthier marines retrieved the shuttle.

\-------------------------------

It took Tali an amazing amount of time to track down Dr Liara T'Soni. She wasn't on Thessia, and her normal contacts, Garrus and Ashley, had disappeared out of sight. It took a concerted effort and she eventually ended up calling in a favor from a friend of Kal's with ties to Quarian intelligence to finally locate the Asari on Illium. Tali was nervous as she placed the call. When Liara answered, she sounded down and she had a tired smile on her face. "Tali! It's so good to hear from you! I'm so sorry I haven't kept in touch!" Liara paused for just a moment before continuing. "I have no excuses. I... I don't know what to say."

Tali tried to ease the Asari's guilt. "Don't worry about it, Liara. Not like I've called you either. It takes two to have a conversation and I haven't been any better." There was a long pause before Tali blurted out, "Can you talk right now? I mean really...talk?"

Liara understood what she was asking and answered promptly. "Not really. I was just finishing up at work and getting ready to head home. Can I call you back in about twenty minutes... at this number?"

Tali laughed, "Absolutely. And get something to drink first! It's been ages, and I have a feeling we have a lot to talk about!"

After pacing for what seemed like hours, the return call finally came. Tali's first words were, "Are we secure?"

Liara answered to the affirmative, and questioned, "Tali, what's this about? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Liara. Really doing very well if you want to know the truth of it." Tali hesitated and then asked, "Liara. Are you alone? And if not, do you completely trust whoever is with you?"

Liara looked concerned as she explained, "I'm on my secure terminal at my apartment. The only one with me is my First, Riana. You remember her. Do I need to send her out?"

Tali responded immediately, "Riana? No! Absolutely not! I actually think you should have her there with you...is she where she can hear?"

Liara called Riana into the room, and while waiting for her to show up, looked back to Tali. "I have to admit, the direction of this conversation is a little frightening. Are you sure everything is ok?"

Liara visibly relaxed when Tali laughed. "Seriously, everything is fine. You'll understand soon enough." When Riana showed up standing behind Liara in the vid screen, Tali took a deep breath and started her story. "Liara, I ran into an old friend last week. It's taken me this long to find you, or I would have passed the news on sooner. They wanted me to contact you... the message was strange, I'm not sure exactly what you're supposed to do with it."

Liara's face turned into a picture of frustration. "Tali! Just spit it out! What old friend, and what exactly did they say? Was it Garrus?"

Tali looked surprised. "Garrus? I thought he was with you?"

Liara groaned, "Ok, so not Garrus, he's on Omega, but we'll talk about him later! If not Garrus, then who?"

Tali took a deep breath, "The message was this...'I need you to get word to Blue...quietly.'"

Liara gasped and clutched at the front of her jacket, her fingers searching for the dog tags hidden beneath. Cerberus had actually succeeded and Shepard was back in the world of the living. "By the Goddess, Tali'Zorah! You ran into her! You actually spoke with her?" Tali watched as Liara's knuckles went almost white with the ferocity of her grip and Riana stepped closer and placed her hands on Liara's shoulders to provide her with comfort and support.

"Yes, we were at Freedom's Progress..." Tali proceeded to tell Liara the whole story of their encounter, and what little information Shepard had been able to pass onto her, with two Cerberus agents watching her every move... the vanishing colonists, the Collectors, everything she could remember. Once they were done with that and the information broker had exhausted her supply of questions, Liara spoke about Garrus leaving her while on a mission, though she was very vague when it came to the specifics of their 'philosophical disagreement,' as Liara put it. The Asari promised that she'd tell Tali the whole story once they worked it all out, but until then she just couldn't talk about it. Tali snorted in disappointment, but realized that when Liara wasn't ready to talk, nothing would pry the information from between her lips. She decided to change the downward direction of the conversation and told Liara how happy she was with her growing relationship with Kal'Reegar. Liara had started the conversation sounding exhausted and sad. By the time they hung up, the Asari was obviously still tired, but they said goodbye with a smile on everyone's face. Even Riana had rejoiced at the news. As Tali terminated the call, Kal slid up behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist. Yes, both she and Liara definitely had reasons to be happy.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dangerous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8450719) by [LoganTheAnimal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoganTheAnimal/pseuds/LoganTheAnimal)




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